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Bad Movies We Love: Clue

For once in Bad Movies We Love history, I’m both speechless and teary-eyed. The holiday season is here, and as far as I’m concerned, that means it’s time to wheel out the movies that are fucking dependable — the ones that enrich our families, provide nourishment for our newborns, and encourage Jesus to be more of a hilarious character actress. For me, this means one movie — my favorite movie — and one that could be considered bad if you are a heartless, freakish, braindead moviegoer who thinks that skittish ensemble comedies based on board games might be stupid. I would strangle those people in a poorly lit billiard room. The movie is Clue , it’s the one thing on Earth I’m positive I love, and I want to hug you as I write this. Girl, let’s hold our candlesticks high, our dignities low, and bludgeon the daylights out of Mr. Boddy.

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Bad Movies We Love: Clue

The Rock of Ages Trailer: Ruining Karaoke For the Rest of Us

Real talk: the new trailer for Adam Shankman ‘s Rock of Ages musical embodies all that people who hate karaoke hate karaoke for. Namely, middle-aged folks blaring through cheesy renditions of their favorite ’80s make-out/rock songs while the rest of us patiently wait for the plaintive strains of Journey to end, already. I say this as a person who likes — nay, loves — karaoke. Sigh. The Twisted Sister/Starship mash-up you really never asked for coming in 3, 2, 1.

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The Rock of Ages Trailer: Ruining Karaoke For the Rest of Us

Matt Damon Blasts Tony Gilroy’s Bourne Ultimatum Script: ‘It Was Unreadable’

“I don’t blame Tony for taking a boatload of money and handing in what he handed in,” Matt Damon told GQ recently about Gilroy’s script for the third Jason Bourne film, The Bourne Ultimatum — a script Gilroy agreed to write for “an exorbitant amount of money” as long as he only had to provide one draft and pay no regard to studio notes. “It’s just that it was unreadable. This is a career-ender. I mean, I could put this thing up on eBay and it would be game over for that dude. It’s terrible. It’s really embarrassing. He was having a go, basically, and he took his money and left.” Gilroy wrote and directed the latest Bourne film The Bourne Legacy , due in theaters this August with Jeremy Renner starring. [ GQ via indieWire ]

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Matt Damon Blasts Tony Gilroy’s Bourne Ultimatum Script: ‘It Was Unreadable’

New Perfect Sense Trailer: I Can’t See Clearly Now!

Don’t let singer-songwriter Johnny Nash anywhere near the new trailer for the Ewan McGregor movie The Perfect Sense , because it’s a Contagion -style disaster film where everyone loses their senses one by one until they can’t see, hear, smell, taste or — I guess — touch anything. It’s a little hokey and a little hilarious, but with Eva Green (the best Bond girl of all time, period) in tow, there may be some genuine hope for this one. If only I could see or hear it!

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New Perfect Sense Trailer: I Can’t See Clearly Now!

Justin Bieber, Werner Herzog to Finally Square Off for an Award

The fifth annual Cinema Eye Honors for Nonfiction Filmmaking will be handed out next month in New York City, with such inveterate documentarians as Errol Morris ( Tabloid ), Steve James ( The Interrupters ) and Kevin Macdonald ( Life in a Day ) facing off against the upstart likes of Alma Har’el ( Bombay Beach ), Tristan Patterson ( Dragonslayer ) and Clio Barnard ( The Arbor ). But look no further than the Audience Choice Award nominees for the most dynamic, high-stakes clash between old and new.

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Justin Bieber, Werner Herzog to Finally Square Off for an Award

WATCH: Video Essay Deconstructs the Faces of Steven Spielberg in Film

In honor of the two Steven Spielberg releases this season — War Horse and The Adventures of Tintin — the folks over at Fandor are paying tribute to the master filmmaker via a new photo essay that celebrates Spielberg’s director trademark: The face. Not just any face though — an expression full of wonder that has washed over all of his protagonists dating back to his 1971 television movie Duel . Relive the many faces of Steven Spielberg ahead.

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WATCH: Video Essay Deconstructs the Faces of Steven Spielberg in Film

Early Report: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is so Awful, You’ll Pee Fire

I guess the new Nicolas Cage fire urination epic Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance did not soar like a blazing motorcycle across the night sky at Buttnumbathon recently. In fact, it tanked. There’s a flamin’ new poster for the film – one that would look impressive on a Hot Topic t-shirt or a bitchin’ Trapper Keeper – but we’ve got three definitely stanky tweets about the movie after the jump. We threw in a dollop of hope at the end, though.

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Early Report: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is so Awful, You’ll Pee Fire

George Lucas’s Indy 5 MacGuffin Problem, and 5 Other Stories You’ll be Talking About Today

Happy Tuesday! Also in today’s edition of The Broadsheet: The plug is pulled on Paradise Lost (for now)… A pair of Weinstein award horses sniff the backlash… Universal gets back in the Angelina Jolie business… and more.

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George Lucas’s Indy 5 MacGuffin Problem, and 5 Other Stories You’ll be Talking About Today

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer Features All of the Dwayne Johnson and El Camino Gunfire You’ll Ever Need

As far as I know, there is only one film in 2012 that features Bruce Willis opening machine gunfire on bad guys from the back of an El Camino. That film is G.I. Joe: Retaliation , Jon M. Chu’s sequel to the 2009 feature, which features Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson and at least one sword fight in which all of the combatants are suspended from a cliff. You really have to see it to believe it.

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G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer Features All of the Dwayne Johnson and El Camino Gunfire You’ll Ever Need

Happy 54th Birthday, Steve Buscemi! What’s His Most Underrated Screen Moment?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it’s safe to say that Steve Buscemi is one of the most universally liked actors of this generation. He vivified Fargo , gave Ghost World a soul, lent Big Fish some quirky sincerity, ruled on 30 Rock (and Boardwalk Empire , I suppose), and even proved himself a viable proxy for Paul Lynde as the voice of Templeton in the Charlotte’s Web remake. That’s not an easy sneer to fill. But today we’re talking about Buscemi’s underrated work, the stuff that doesn’t percolate with the grim vigor of a Coen Brothers classic. What’s your pick?

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Happy 54th Birthday, Steve Buscemi! What’s His Most Underrated Screen Moment?