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Your Christmas Viewing is Settled

“There are three reasons to watch a Christmas film. I have the perfect culmination to all three of those scenarios, and it not only involves a shit-ton of novelty songs, but also Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire. So here’s the truest thing I’ll ever tell you: Holiday Inn is the Classic Hollywood Christmas Movie to rule them all, and the $2.99 you’ll spend renting it on iTunes is a third of what you’d spend on a glass of wine at a respectable establishment. (That is how I judge expenses: that sparkly Christmas dress costs five G.O.W [glasses of wine]; a ticket to see The Fassbender in the theater costs two.)” [ The Hairpin ]

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Your Christmas Viewing is Settled

Marion Cotillard Whines (and Wins) in John Cameron Mitchell’s 5-Minute Lady Dior Ad

Before I gift you with John Cameron Mitchell’s cute and funny five-minute short film for Dior where Marion Cotillard endures a panic attack during a photo shoot, let me acknowledge one unsettling truth: When she’s wearing banana curls and pink lipstick, Cotillard is a dead-ringer for Katy Perry. I DID NOT MAKE THE RULES. I’m sorry I discovered this, and I hope we can join hands and chuckle as we watch this silly photoshoot parody. “Open up that neck for me!”

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Marion Cotillard Whines (and Wins) in John Cameron Mitchell’s 5-Minute Lady Dior Ad

Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds Trailer: The Price of Milk and Other First World Problems

Say what you will about the films of Tyler Perry , at least he has an ethos. Good messages (well, the overt ones about living reasonable lives and personal responsibility) are what he’s about, and he doesn’t need to wear Madea’s signature muumuu in order to beat us over the head with them. For the latest dose of the master’s philosophizing I present the trailer for next February’s Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds — or, as we call it around these parts, The Perry.

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Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds Trailer: The Price of Milk and Other First World Problems

Liveblogging Six New Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked Clips…So You Don’t Have To!

To be fair, there was never any possibility of me seeing Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked in theaters…however there was a possibility that I might opt to half-watch a complimentary in-flight screening of the threequel if the airborne opportunity ever arose. To determine whether there might be any reward to this risk, I bravely watched six new clips from the upcoming comedy and logged my observations. Hopefully you’ll find them helpful when determining whether to see Fox’s furry CGI trio get Chipwrecked yourself.

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Liveblogging Six New Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked Clips…So You Don’t Have To!

What Can We Glean from the New Prometheus Poster — Besides Its Lame Tagline?

Ridley Scott has settled on a tagline for his pseudo-prequel to Alien , the star-studded June 2013 release Prometheus : “The Search For Our Beginning Could Lead To Our End.” Does that sound a little too much like the Breaking Dawn: Part I tag “Forever is Only the Beginning” to anyone? Both are Hallmarkian takes on mortality, which is a shame considering Prometheus should be one of the most original thrillers of next year. Its new poster, along with our musings thereon, follow.

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What Can We Glean from the New Prometheus Poster — Besides Its Lame Tagline?

Jane Fonda to Costar as a Media Honcho on Aaron Sorkin’s Cable News Sitcom

Looks like Jane Fonda followed our advice exactly and plans to revive the news-hungry character she played in The China Syndrome in what will mark her first major TV foray: Fonda has signed on for a recurring role in Aaron Sorkin’s upcoming HBO drama as Leona Lansing, the CEO of a cable news network’s parent company. Sounds like a pretty close match to her third husband Ted Turner, no? If Leona Lansing starts colorizing old news reels, we’ll know the parallel is intentional. [ TVL ine ]

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Jane Fonda to Costar as a Media Honcho on Aaron Sorkin’s Cable News Sitcom

Oscar Index: Your Guess is As Good As Mine

The exhaustion levels are high and the confusion levels are even higher at Movieline’s Institute For the Advanced Study of Kudos Forensics, where the white-coated minions responsible for the Oscar Index have struggled to assay the state of the awards race through this week’s persistent turbulence. Read on for their results.

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Oscar Index: Your Guess is As Good As Mine

Nick Swardson to Work Again, and 5 Other Stories You’ll Be Talking About Today

Happy Wednesday! Also in today’s edition of The Broadsheet: The man who helped make cinema safe for the counterculture has died… Kenneth Branagh’s back-up plan… Apologies worth considering… and more.

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Nick Swardson to Work Again, and 5 Other Stories You’ll Be Talking About Today

SAG Award Nominations: Help Soars; Michael Fassbender, Albert Brooks Snubbed

The nominations for the 18th annual Screen Actors Guild Awards are out, and whoa : Presumed competitors Michael Fassbender, Albert Brooks, Shailene Woodley and the ensemble cast of Margin Call are nowhere to be found, while dark horse Demi

About That Time Diane Keaton Blew Off Steve Jobs

Did you know Diane Keaton and Steve Jobs were neighbors once? That could have gone better: “And he starts talking and all he’s talking about is the computer thing. How the computer was going to take over the world. And I’m sitting there like, ‘OK, right.’ And he keeps talking about how everyone is going to have a computer in their life, in their world, in their home. And I’m going, ‘Right, Right.’ And I never saw him again ever, because obviously I just wasn’t prepared for that. I thought, ‘Is he nuts?’ Can you imagine? What an idiot I was.” [ Ellen DeGeneres Show via THR ]

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About That Time Diane Keaton Blew Off Steve Jobs