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God, you make one comment about how Erin Andrews’s convicted stalker should’ve waited until she starred on Dancing with the Stars to a get a peep at her naked, whored-out body, and already you have to apologize and seek wisdom from the family devotional. Rough day! Elisabeth Hasselbeck made a tearful apology today on The View after voicing concerns about Andrews’s DWTS wardrobe on Tuesday, claiming the “next to nothing” outfits were too risque for a woman who was just stalked in several cities. Two problems here: 1) Erin Andrews hasn’t worn anything that seems purposely provocative, and 2) This is just idiotic anyway. Videos follow.

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Elisabeth Hasselbeck Delivers Tearful Public Apology to DWTS’s Erin Andrews

The latest issue of In Touch Weekly features a cover story that says Kim Kardashian is a talentless fame whore. Which raises an obvious question: How is this news? Speaking to the tabloid, Kim’s ex-husband has harsh words for the woman he was married to from 2000-2004. He says the reality star is “obsessed with fame” and “jealous and competitive with her sisters.” “She can’t write or sing or dance, so she does harmful things in order to validate herself in the media,” Thomas says. “That’s a fame whore to me. It’s just not cool at all.” We actually find it very cool. Kim’s desperate ways allow us to mock her and criticize her on an almost-daily basis. We also get to see her naked sometimes. Late last month, another report targeted Thomas and accused him of beating Kim . He says this claim is “absolutely not true” and Kim made up the allegations to get “a lot of money” out of him. So, why did the couple divorce? Simple, Thomas says: Kardashian was cheating on him with “multiple guys.” In closing, Thomas confirms he paid for multiple plastic sugery procedures (such as liposuction and a boob job) for Kim and that the final straw in their marriage was when he spotted her on a date with J. Lo’s ex, Chris Judd. That’s a lot to take in. Do you believe anything Thomas says? Can you believe someone would actually refer to Kim as a “fame whore?” From where would he possibly get that idea?!?

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Breaking News: Kim Kardashian is a Talentless Fame Whore!

Larry King’s taking a break. But the show ain’t over yet, folks. Although we’re past the two-week stay the CNN host and wife Shawn placed on their divorce…

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Lawyer: Larry King’s Divorce Still in Suspenders Suspension

According to Jay Leno, the accused (and failed) Times Square car bomber, Faisal Shahza, is a card-carrying member of the terrorist organization known as… Team Coco. Wait, what?

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Jay Leno Suggests Times Square Bomber was a Conan Fan

You see the cliched, wildly overused and ineffective “I have black friends” card played every so often by someone trying to diffuse allegations of racism. The “I have colored friends card”? That’s once in a generation. Your grandparents’ generation . But apparently that’s where Michelle “Bombshell” McGee is mentally, because she said this on The Howard Stern Show . Stern was grilling Jesse James’ mistress about all things racist … her Nazi photos , white power tattoos, whether she dates outside of her race, etc. Naturally, this resulted in the “I have too many colored friends” card. That’s right, not just colored friends … like, too many for a girl to even COUNT. $h!t happens when you’re a well-meaning, home-wrecking Nazi lunatic. WHITE SUPREMACIST BOMBSHELL : That’s Michelle McGee for you . When she wasn’t confirming that she’s a half-wit bigot, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee described how she met Jesse James (MySpace) and gave details about their first sexual encounter (raunchy, rough and long-lasting). McGee said James began instigating things by kissing her, and that she only went along with it when insisted he was separated from Sandra Bullock. Likely story. Once things heated up, McGee said James ripped her pants and leggings off, which turned her on. She said there was very little foreplay, however, she does recall performing oral sex on him for a short time. Lovely. McGee said James’ “manhood” was merely average, and he made up the “Vanilla Gorilla” nickname about himself to imply it was bigger, although he has “excellent stamina” and they boned up to four times a night, four nights a week. Safe to say we’re not sad about Sandra Bullock divorcing him .

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Michelle "Bombshell" McGee: I Have Colored Friends!

Jay Leno cracked a jkoke on his show last night, implying that the Times Square bombing suspect doesn’t just support terror … he also supports Conan O’Brien . During the gag, Leno created a fake Facebook page for Faisal Shahzad — on which he claims… Read more

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Conan — Collateral Damage in Leno’s Terror Joke

Not only does this woman get major style points, but this song is going to be my new summer jam. She also gets points for being modest and not making any stupid guitar faces. Watch

I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t try to jerk off to Hilary Swank’s naked body in Boys Don’t Cry at least once…There’s a scene I remember where amongst acting and dressing like a boy, she gets violated by her buddies who rip her clothes off and reveal her awesome fucking tits, and I figured that after watching such a heavy load of shit about some confused lesbian who fucked Becky from Roseanne with a strap-on, I had no choice but to celebrate when they busted out her tits and bush to distract me from her stupid looking face and the fact that she was pretending to be a boy the whole movie…. You see Hilary Swank isn’t hot. She’s got the floppy face of a basset hound, but her tits carry her through life and make her other flaws okay, so when I see her braless with hard nipples, I forget that she’s too old for my liking and that she looks like a farmhand in Missouri repairing the fucking tractor…something I know turns your closet-case ass on, so enjoy and remember that it’s not gay if she’s got hard nippled tits, even if it feels like it is kinda gay, cuz she looks like an awkward teenage boy. Pics via PacificCoastNews

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Hilary Swank Boring Hard Nippled Tits of the Day

Step 1: Have twins. Step 2: Get magnets & ping pong balls. Step 3: Hilarious! View

In this publicity image released by ABC, Erin Andrews, right, and her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy perform on the celebrity dance competition series, #39;Dancing with the Stars,#39; on Monday, April 26, 2010 in Los Angeles. In this publicity image released by ABC, Erin Andrews, left, and her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy perform on the celebrity dance competition series, #39;Dancing with the Stars,#39; Monday, May 3, 2010 in Los Angeles. In this image released by ABC, Erin Andrews, right, and h

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Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Erin Andrews