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TV Bites: Mentally Prepare Yourself For the Undercover Karaoke Reality Series

Also in this morning’s TV Bites: Sean Combs’ ex-employee gets a reality show… the Family Guy “abortion episode” comes out of hiding… and Donald Trump fires his latest Celebrity Apprentice conquest.

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TV Bites: Mentally Prepare Yourself For the Undercover Karaoke Reality Series

Your Turn: Summarize Michael Bay’s 3D Hansel and Gretel in 10 Words or Less

A lot of Web commentators will no doubt spin entire hypothetical stories, subplots and other random determinations from Monday night’s press release confirming Hansel and Gretel , a 3D adaptation of the Grimms’ forest-bound fairy tale to be co-produced by Michael Bay. But I think this calls for a more enlightening, interactive approach. In other words: You tell everyone else what to expect — and do it in 10 words or less.

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Your Turn: Summarize Michael Bay’s 3D Hansel and Gretel in 10 Words or Less

Spoiler: The Weeds Season Six Trailer Finally Kills Nancy’s Iced Coffee

If you’ve kept up with Weeds for the last five seasons you know to expect one thing — well, one thing besides a contrived and maddening plot that continually ups the stakes to the detriment of its own narrative cohesion: Nancy Botwin’s iced-coffee fixation. And that the upcoming season of Weeds disposes of her crutch so violently, should tell you all you need to know about where this show is headed.

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Spoiler: The Weeds Season Six Trailer Finally Kills Nancy’s Iced Coffee

DirecTV Revives Damages

DirecTV is ending this long, hot Monday on a high note. The company has announced that it is rescuing Damages from cancellation by offering a two-season run to the FX series, which has garnered Glenn Close back-to-back Emmys. What’s more, unlike Friday Night Lights (where DirecTV partnered with NBC ), Damages will not have a second run on a broadcast network. Now, if only DirecTV could save Party Down … [ NYT ]

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DirecTV Revives Damages

Lucasfilm Bans Darth Vader from Star Wars Celebration

Ordinary subway patrons may love it when Darth Vader shows up unannounced , but Lucasfilm representatives aren’t as keen on the idea. In fact, they’ve gone and banned the man who played Darth Vader from an upcoming Star Wars get-together.

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Lucasfilm Bans Darth Vader from Star Wars Celebration

Support Surly, Talent-Thwacking Harry Connick Jr. For Idol!

It’s not really “news” that Harry Connick Jr. is a contestant favorite to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol . But I just like to throw my own quick endorsement his way, if only for his admirable, riot-sparking work last year on the Aussie talent show Hey Hey It’s Saturday . Only an honest man can enliven the flagging franchise, and besides Cowell, only Connick has the proven ability to really torpedo an act on national television. I say yes, yes, a hundred times yes. Yes? [ Zap2It ]

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Support Surly, Talent-Thwacking Harry Connick Jr. For Idol!

What’s On: Is Jane Lynch Gearing Up for Another Emmy Nod?

Tonight, Jane Lynch adds another credit to her IMDB resume and guns for an Emmy nomination in a non-acting category. Nope, she’s not emulating Madonna in a Sue Sylvester concert spectacular, and she’s also not guest-starring on a network drama. Even better: With the aid of VH1, she’s trying out her hosting chops.

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What’s On: Is Jane Lynch Gearing Up for Another Emmy Nod?

Extortionists Can Get Emmy Nominations Too

From a jail cell somewhere in the New York tri-state area, Robert “Joe” Halderman is celebrating a News and Documentary Emmy nomination. The CBS News producer, who attempted to shake David Letterman down for $2 million last October, earned a nod for his 48 Hours Mystery segment about Amanda Knox (in fact, it’s not even Halderman’s first Emmy nomination). Congratulations, Joe! We’re sure the taste of victory is better than the taste of prison meatloaf. [ Deadline ]

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Extortionists Can Get Emmy Nominations Too

Which Musical Does Joseph Gordon-Levitt Have Lined Up?

After showing off his musical comedy skills in (500) Days of Summer and on Saturday Night Live , does Joseph Gordon-Levitt have a full-blown musical in the queue? “I’d absolutely love to do more song-and-dance numbers,” he told The Advocate , teasing, “I don’t want to spoil it, but there is something in the works, man, and I can’t wait.” Get to speculating, kids… I’m going to place my money on JGL starring opposite Russell Crowe in A Star is Born’s up-for-grabs love interest role. Don’t pretend your ticket wouldn’t be bought. [ The Advocate ]

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Which Musical Does Joseph Gordon-Levitt Have Lined Up?

REVIEW: Why Exactly Does The Contenders Exist?

Movies that draw us to the theater and then send us drifting back out with our minds full or even pleasantly scrubbed are underwritten by an urgent message: This film needed to happen. The phenomenon is impossible to quantify, but we know it when we feel it: This is working ; this is right .

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REVIEW: Why Exactly Does The Contenders Exist?