Dear Bossip , I’ve been with my husband for almost 8 years now and for almost 2 of those years we have been married. We also have 2 children together. Either right before or right after our wedding day my husband cheated with a woman from his past and a baby came of it exactly 9 months into our marriage. This woman is still in love with my husband, and always has been willing to do anything to have him. She and I have had many run-ins before we got married, so we don’t get along at all. The baby recently turned 1-year old and she went out of her way to have a birthday party at my husband’s family house. She wouldn’t allow separate parties. She said if my husband had his own party she would come to that also. I wasn’t even informed about the party until the day before, so I hardly had any time to prepare myself mentally and emotionally. It was humiliating for me to have to be at this child’s party with her walking around also. My husband lets this woman run all over him and she does whatever she wants, and it makes me feel like I’m overreacting. I (his wife) should not be put in situations like that. He acts as if he doesn’t see what she’s doing. I’m on the verge of filing for divorce. I’m tired of the drama, hurt & pain I’ve had to go through because of my husband’s selfishness. What should I do? – Another Woman In Our Marriage Dear Ms. Another Woman In Our Marriage , Divorce! Divorce! Divorce! I’ll be damned if I would sit up and marry a man who cheated right before or right after our wedding and produced a baby. So, the first nine months of your marriage you are dealing with another woman carrying your husband’s baby. Yet, you stayed and figured what? She would move on and out of your lives? You and your husband would live happily ever after? SMDH! And, he knew you had run-ins with her before you got married, yet, he cheated with her. The woman you don’t get along with? Welp! She can have him. Why did, or do you stay? What are you getting out of it? There has to be some reason you are staying, or there is something you are trying to prove. Is it because you were together 6 years prior to marrying him, and you feel you’ve made an investment in him. You got him to where you needed him to be, and you’ve dealt with his infidelities before, so, you figured if he married he would straighten out? Uhm, Ms. Honey, that didn’t work, now did it? The man cheated right before or right after your wedding. He is a low-down scum dirty rat bastard. He is not a man. He is a child. He is hoe, a trifling crusty d**k piece of –ish. Your man had unprotected sex with this woman, and she is not the first or last, and then he came home and had unprotected sex with you. Think about that. Let that marinate in your thick a** skull. The man you’ve been with for nearly 8 years has raw sex with women with no regard for his health, his safety, or your health or your safety. Think about that. Let it stir in your head. He is going in women RAW, doing lawd knows what with them, and then you are letting him lay in your bed at night. He is up under you in the bed acting as if nothing has happened. Please let that sink in, and marinate under that polyester wig. Ma’am cut your loses, divorce his a**, collect alimony, and put him on child support. Ain’t no way I would stick around and deal with him, or her shenanigans for the next 18 years, and especially if he wants to act like he doesn’t see what she’s doing. Uhm, no ma’am. He can act stupid and dumb all he want, but it shouldn’t be with you. You are not ignorant to her ways and what’s she’s up to. A fool you are not! Then, on top of it all, she had the nerve to throw the child a birthday party at your husband’s family house, and they let her?!?! What type of hood ghetto –ish is that? I would have shut all that down! You can try to be the bigger woman all you want, but why the hell would you go and torment yourself by sitting there, at your husband’s family house, entertaining a woman who wants to flaunt your husband’s child around, acting like she is the Queen B. You sitting there all humiliated, and sad. Chile, I would have snatched her up, and drug her all through that house, backyard, and up the street. Then, served his a** with the divorce papers! Ain’t no way you should have allowed your husband to agree to that bull-ish, and he should have told his family to not entertain that mess. But, like you said, your husband wants to play dumb, and stupid. I feel that he likes this drama. He is enjoying this. He is benefiting from this. How? He has two women in his life fighting over him. You’re both competing and vying for his attention. She will do anything to get under his skin, and he enjoys it. You complain, yell, and scream, and demand that he treats you like his wife, and stop disrespecting you. And, he gets a kick out of this. You and the other woman are treating him just like he wants to be treated, like a little as boy. He is not a man, and will never be a man. So, let them two ratchet birds have one another. It’s not worth it to stay. It’s not worth it have to deal with this for the next 18 years of your life because trust and believe it will get worse over the years. Someone is going to get hurt, and so that you won’t end up in jail, it’s just best to walk away. You deserve better. You don’t deserve to have to feel humiliated, mistreated, or disrespected, especially by some woman your husband won’t put into check, and is running over his life, and your marriage. For your own sanity, and peace of mind, let this go. Be thankful for this lesson because now you know what love is not. You know what you deserve, how to be treated, and the type of man you need in your life. Be encouraged, and be empowered. You have the power. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: My Husband Cheated & The Woman Had A Baby, But I’m Sick And Tired Of Her Shenanigans
