Here is Jessica Biel…the girl who found the man who I assume she was a fan of. You know the kind of young starlet who got into acting because she learned how to masturbate watching Mickey Mouse club, you know just by sliding her hands in her panties while reading one of those teen beat mags…waiting for it to start to tickle….leading her to LA to hunt the motherfucker down, trapping him, letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted while touring, showing him she’d always be there for him, even when he fucked up along the way, forcing him to marry her, leaving him with no option because she’s been so cool along the way and no other chick would put up with that, or have what they have, leaving her to no need to work her shitty movies, so she can focus on her pit bulls, her fitness, and spending motherfucker’s money in her old lady pajama style dress I am trying to look up… If it works for them, it works for me, but I prefer divorcees who failed at the whole marriage thing…they are far more fun to have sex with than those in lockdown…because they take far less work to convince…but I’ll still try to stare at any panties I can. That’s my commitment to panties. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE
Here is Jessica Biel…the girl who found the man who I assume she was a fan of. You know the kind of young starlet who got into acting because she learned how to masturbate watching Mickey Mouse club, you know just by sliding her hands in her panties while reading one of those teen beat mags…waiting for it to start to tickle….leading her to LA to hunt the motherfucker down, trapping him, letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted while touring, showing him she’d always be there for him, even when he fucked up along the way, forcing him to marry her, leaving him with no option because she’s been so cool along the way and no other chick would put up with that, or have what they have, leaving her to no need to work her shitty movies, so she can focus on her pit bulls, her fitness, and spending motherfucker’s money in her old lady pajama style dress I am trying to look up… If it works for them, it works for me, but I prefer divorcees who failed at the whole marriage thing…they are far more fun to have sex with than those in lockdown…because they take far less work to convince…but I’ll still try to stare at any panties I can. That’s my commitment to panties. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE
It’s not often we look to the Real Housewives of ANY city for anything other than entertainment… but especially not for inspiration, right? WRONG! These ladies TOTES have life figured out, so why not learn a thing or two from them? And, no, we don’t mean table-flipping and sipping straight vodka like it’s water. We’re talking big, important secrets of life! Like how to accept the fact that you might have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince Charming, yet you’ll probably acquire some new boobs and Bentleys along the way if you play your cards right! Or like the fact that you’ll probably find yourself in the position of having to become best friends with your mortal enemy because…well…we’re not really sure why you’d ever do that, but the housewives probably know! Here, for your edu-tainment, are 10 life secrets the Real Housewives have figured out! 10 Life Secrets The Real Housewives Have Figured Out 1. You Might Never Find the Man or Woman of Your Dreams Or maybe you will? Third time’s the charm, right Tamra? You know what else they’ve figured out? How to pay for the perfect bikini bodies… Real Housewives: The Ultimate Bikini Body Slideshow 1. Joanna Krupa Joanna Krupa is hotter than hot on The Real Housewives of Miami.
I figure if you’re going to book a black model, you might as well go for the darkest shade you can find, because all those light skinned girls are just playing, you know trying to be accessible to the white market as their ethnic friend who isn’t too ethnic that they will get stared at…when what really matters is finding a girl straight from Sudan, who looks like she from another fucking era, that really taps into any white industrialist’s fetish of taking over Africa back when white people took over Africa, where they bang the tribal women along the way… I mean, I think this girl looks like a work of art. Classy, elegant, and not like someone in line at walmart, with diabetes being candies…I’m talking amazing..and this shoot is great too, but I could just be saying that because I love tennis and the idea of seeing naked girls play tennis is porn to me., or maybe I just like her long legs and tight African booty…it’s just so different and reminiscent of my youth jerking off to National Geographic tits, back when porn was unattainable… I’m in love. This is one of the best fashion shoots to happen in a long fucking time.
I figure if you’re going to book a black model, you might as well go for the darkest shade you can find, because all those light skinned girls are just playing, you know trying to be accessible to the white market as their ethnic friend who isn’t too ethnic that they will get stared at…when what really matters is finding a girl straight from Sudan, who looks like she from another fucking era, that really taps into any white industrialist’s fetish of taking over Africa back when white people took over Africa, where they bang the tribal women along the way… I mean, I think this girl looks like a work of art. Classy, elegant, and not like someone in line at walmart, with diabetes being candies…I’m talking amazing..and this shoot is great too, but I could just be saying that because I love tennis and the idea of seeing naked girls play tennis is porn to me., or maybe I just like her long legs and tight African booty…it’s just so different and reminiscent of my youth jerking off to National Geographic tits, back when porn was unattainable… I’m in love. This is one of the best fashion shoots to happen in a long fucking time.
Tereza Kacerova is the perfect balance of mail order bride…and hipster…she’s got these ridiculous lips that I feel she got in Thailand at a discount on her way to America, or wherever it is that she is, but they could be legit, and lips or not, she’s dressed like some hipster fashionista, which is conveniently how all girls dress, even the really mainstream ones, since hipster isn’t some cutting edge, we’re so different bullshit, but rather some pop tart, we are all the same bullshit, but seeing as I saw this happen from the filth of the after party floor, I appreciate it…but I could be just saying that because of the wet t-shirt tits…yep…that’s exactly why I am saying it.
Paris Hilton is getting back into the internet slut groove….it’s like she’s in her mid-30s and instead of just starting a family with some billionaire she’s met along the way…she’s still pretending she’s 20 and filming sex tapes…only her sex tapes are half naked pics to instagram…instead of taking loads on her face…which is a real downgrade…as normally we evolve, and the older we get, the less we care about getting fucked on camera….you know producing a follow-up to her original movie…like a little pornstar since we’ve already seen it…and since she’s got a decade more experience at fucking all kinds of people…and what it comes down to is that I actually don’t hate Paris Hilton…she served her purpose in fucking up society and the youth…youth that is all in their 20s and super horny all the time…and without her I really think things would be different…far less herpes and teen pregnancies…and who really wants that… She’s the Joan of Arc of our generation…and here is some shitty, especially compared to her history, self shot erotica…
Guess has been pretty consistent in finding girls who look like Hailey Clauson for their campaigns. You know a little more body than the average girl..maybe even a little too much body since they’ve historically grown up to be pretty fat…from Anna Nicole Smith to Kate Upton…but there’s a handful of them along the way who are and remain pretty intact…here’s hoping this Hailey Clauson is one of them…because I just fell in love and I wouldn’t want anything like her physical appearance to come between that…
Was Robin Thicke just busted for his wandering eye, er, hand? An obviously concerned Twitter user tweeted a pic of the singer posing with an unidentified fan that looked normal, except for the reflection in the mirror. See what we’re talking about below? Naturally, a worried Tweeter quickly pointed this out to Thicke’s wife, Paula Patton. Jen Leadley wrote “@PaulaPattonXO look at the reflection girl.” Indeed, it appears we can see Miley Cyrus’ Twerking partner and the young lady’s backs reflected in a mirror and his hand questionably close to her butt. It’s also not entirely clear if that’s even his hand/back, nor can we tell if the hand is grabbing arse, rather than just hanging there. It’s a mystery, people. Leadley, who has not responded to a request for comment, apparently got a few questions from Twitter about message to Paula Patton and she replied: “@britneyisland @hey_ceejay @csaleo @paulapattonxo idk but I hope it was all a misunderstanding cuz they look good together so waz happening.” Patton, who accompanied her husband to the VMAs and the afterparty at 10AK in N.Y. City (where, yes, they looked great together), hasn’t commented. However, being the coolest chick ever, she’s not likely to be bothered by mere rumors. If it is true, though, she won’t let him off the hook easily, either. She once hid in the bushes to make sure Thicke, her husband of eight years, wasn’t cheating on her (he wasn’t). As for Robin, he hasn’t commented either. Considering they hit the beach in Miami on Wednesday with their son, Julian, and were spotted playing in the sand, we don’t suspect it’s a high priority.
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