Turn the page for episode 1 if you missed it on Monday… Continue reading
Dear Bossip , I have been with the father of my two kids for 10 years. We are by far not the perfect couple, but we have been solid. I am 28 years old and he is 24 years old. The last year or so I have been having mixed emotions because we are not where we should be in life. He has a GED and works jobs, but he doesn’t have a career, and he is not motivated. I keep telling him I want us to have better, but it’s like he does not understand. On the other hand, I have a male friend who we are just that. We never did anything that we should not have. He is married and I am in a complicated situation. We have known each other for a little over a year. My friend is a well-educated well-rounded guy with dreams and aspirations. Recently, we have kind of been flirting and getting to know each other more in depth, and I think I am falling in love with him. My kid’s father is such a nice guy. He treats me like a queen and is a great father, but he is not established. My friend on the other hand is established, and I don’t want to turn down the possibility of us being friends first, and that it could work between us even though he is married. I know a lot about his situation with his wife and it doesn’t seem like a forever thing. What do I do? Do I just back up and don’t cross that line of friendship because I don’t want it to turn bad. Currently, my kid’s father and I are working on ourselves, and, yes we are still having sex. We have a mutual understanding that we are taking time to re-evaluate things. I don’t want to hurt my kid’s father, but I also do not want to be hurt neither. – Between A Rock And A Hard Place Dear Ms. Between A Rock And A Hard Place , Ratchet, ratchet, ratchet! Those are my words for and about you. But, let me back up a minute. You’ve been with your boyfriend for 10 years, which means you were 18 years old, and he was 14 years old when you started dating? Uhm, isn’t that illegal to be dating a minor? So, you were already being ratchet 10 years ago at 18 years old, and now because you don’t think things are going where you want them to with your boyfriend, you’re talking about stepping out of your relationship to sleep with a married man? Huh? Are you serious? Do you see the pattern you have with men? You were dating a minor, which is wrong by all measures of the fact. He was still developing physically, emotionally, and mentally, and you took advantage of him. And, please don’t sit up here and say he was mature for his age. Ma’am, I will smack the –ish out of you. How would you feel if an 18 year old boy came home with your 14 year old daughter? Yeah, but you don’t like that idea. But, hold on, now you want to start dating a married man? Someone else’s husband? Uhm, yeah, you seriously have mental and emotional problems and you need help. Then, you have the audacity to say that he is not where you want him to be because he has a GED, works jobs, and has no motivation. However, he treats you like a queen, is a great father, working, and a nice guy. However, you say that you want better for the both of you, but, ma’am, what are you bringing to the table. What do you have to offer? I noticed that you left that out of the conversation. You’re complaining he has jobs, and no career. Uhm, so what is your career? What are you holding down? And, since you’re complaining about having and doing better, then explain to me why you are not married? Why have you been dating for 10 years, playing house, shacking up, and you have two kids, playing family, but there is no ring on your finger? (I’ll wait while you ponder that.) Now, because you’re not happy at home you figure the best resolution to your situation is to sleep with a married man. You figure that instead of talking and effectively communicating with your man about your feelings, how to move forward, and make the necessary steps toward a united goal, instead you seek comfort in the arms of a married man? And, you want to throw your boyfriend under the bus because you’re the ratchet trifling a** who is willing to jeopardize her relationship for a fling. SMDH! Some of you women are a piece of work. The man is married. He is not your friend. You don’t have anything in common with him. Despite that you may feel you have something in common with him, but you don’t. You’re enamored and impressed with his accolades and that he has dreams. And, he is selling you on his pipe dreams and your thirsty dumba** is falling for them with your lips touted up slurping on his nut sac. So typical. And, for the record he is not going to leave his wife. He just wants to smash, and you will have a momentary affair, and it will be over because the novelty of new p***y will wear off for him, and you will be just another chick he cheated on with his wife. You will stalk him, trying to keep the relationship going, and he may come back, and then you’ll have unprotected sex. And, BAM! You’ll end up pregnant, but you won’t know which man is the father, and, we all know how this story is going to end. What’s so sad is that you are comparing your man to a married. Why? There is no comparison. He is married, and the fact that you said he is established, well, yes, he is establishedly married (I made that word up. LOL!) Nevertheless, he is off limits, but knowing your ratchet a** you’re going to ignore all warnings and caution because you’re falling in love with him. Bwahahahahaha. Girl, stop! Falling in love my a**. You just want to get some d**k. You love playing the game of off-limits and dangerous liaisons with men. Remember, your boyfriend was 14 years old when you started dating him. He was off limits, yet, you pursued that relationship. You’re dangerous, and need some help. So, your options are either to sit with your boyfriend. Be honest and frank with him about what you’re feeling, desiring, and how to proceed to get both of your needs met. You mentioned that you’re working on re-evaluating your relationship. Well, take this time to set an action plan of how to move forward. It’s been 10 years of the same damn thing, but you’re not married. Why not? How can you move toward that goal? Then, you discuss his goals, desires, and dreams. What does he want for himself, and his family? Where does he see himself a year, two, or five years from now? Is he interested in being married? And, if you feel that neither of you are on the same page, you have two different dreams, goals, and desires for your relationship, then it may be time to end the relationship and move on. And, no, that does not mean you move on to the married man. He is off limits. Leave that man alone. And, you can’t be friends. You can’t be associates. You have no reason to be in contact or communication with him. Instead, I need for you to work on you, and get into some therapy to figure out why you have this desire and need to be with men who are off limits to you. Why do you pursue men that present some element of danger? You need to work on that, and get to the root of yourself. Something is at the core, and you’re going to seriously need to resolve this before you start dating or being any other man. Because if you don’t resolve this, you will continue to repeat this pattern at the detriment of yourself, and your children. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! Continue reading
Dear Bossip , For the past three years I’ve been dating this man and we have an 8-month old child together. He’s constantly asking for a stronger commitment from me, and at first I obliged. But, now after all of the events that have transpired, I’m not even sure if I even want to continue being with this man. Let me start from the beginning. At first it was like a match made in heaven. We fell for each other hard and fast. He had 3 children from a previous marriage, and since the mother was incarcerated I thought nothing of it. After 6 months he proposed and we were planning our wedding and life together. I was recently divorced at the time so I was a little apprehensive about jumping into another marriage, especially if I had to deal with baby mama drama. We moved in together a year into the relationship. We had to put the wedding on hold due to financial issues. The move was a bit of a wake-up call because I found myself being a mother to his children, being that they lived with us full-time. One day, 5 months into the pregnancy, I was cleaning out our room, and found letters that his children’s mom had written him. And, to my surprise, from these letters, I had discovered that they were still married. I confronted him about it and he assured me that once she got out he would file for divorce. Well, she got out. Took me through so much drama that I can’t bare to put it in the letter. She constantly called me, harassed me on Facebook, and via email. Here it is almost a year later and they are still married. They only interact when she calls for the kids. At first she wouldn’t agree to the divorce, but now she is. However, now he’s claiming that he doesn’t have the money for a divorce. My question is, should I leave him or continue to wait like a sitting duck? I love him but it’s really getting old. I honestly don’t even want to marry him anymore because I know that the ex will always be in my life if I do. I feel bad that my child won’t grow up with her father in the household, but is it really worth my sanity? – Ms. Sitting Duck Dear Ms. Sitting Duck , Ugh! (Screams with a bellowing Noooooooooooooooo!) You women and this, “I love him, but….” You are not in love. It is lust, or strong like disguised as love. Love is not foolish and naïve. It is not being blind to obvious ills, wrongs, and warnings. Love protects, cares, nurtures, and supports. So, the better question is do you love yourself? And, if you say that you love yourself, then would you make these foolish mistakes, or would you love yourself enough to say, “You know what, I love me and I know what’s good for me. And, this is not good for me.” So, now, I guess you can consider this a lesson learned, huh? (Side-eyeing you). Girl, the real tea and shade is that this man was so anxious to propose, and move you in with him because he needed some help with his three kids. His wife was incarcerated, and he was left with raising three kids, alone. Hmmm, now that should have raised an eyebrow. So, in his panic, he says, “I need somebody to help me with these kids because I can’t quit my job. This is a full-time job of cooking, cleaning, caring, and taking care of three kids. It’s too much. I need a woman to help me with this.” Therefore, he was only looking for a woman to care for him and his kids. He was not interested in finding a mate, partner, or soul partner. Girl, he duped you into believing he wanted you and you fell for it. This is a lesson for all you women out there who are dating, or potentially will date any man who claims to be divorce. Ask to see the divorce papers. You want to see some proof he is no longer married. Make sure it has an official seal on it, with some appropriate court, and judge’s signature. Hell, I will take it a bit further and get any verification of his financial commitments to her post-divorce. Is he paying alimony, child support, or if she is on any of his insurance plans, car notes, or cell phone plans? Find out if he is sending her money, or if she is benefitting from him financially and in what capacity. If you don’t, then you will find yourself in a trick bag, and the ole okey doke line of, “I can’t afford it.” Or, “I’m broke.” And, “Financially it is not a good time for me right now.” More importantly, if he is recently divorced, and he has children, then you need to ask yourself if you are ready to be a mother. Are you ready to care for children that are not your own? Do you want to deal with baby momma drama? These are real questions you need to ask yourself before dating any divorced or single man who is caring for his own children. Because with him comes his children, just like a man taking on a woman with children. If this is something you do not desire or wish to be a part of, then move on, and find someone who is divorced or single with no children. But, I’m not letting you off the hook because you had apprehensions throughout this relationship, yet, you moved forward. Why? Why did you ignore your gut, intuition, and that little voice advising you that this was not a good idea? Where you caught up in the attention, affection, and good loving he was providing you? Did you allow your judgment to be blurred by the, “I got a good man who is taking care of his three kids while their mother is incarcerated. So, he must be good enough for me.” Ma’am, the truth is that he lied about his divorce. He deceived you into thinking he was no longer married. He manipulated you into moving in with him and playing house. You are taking care of him and his children. So, what are you getting out of this? What benefit do you get from this relationship? What is he bringing to the table? And, honestly, you are living with a married man. How about that trick bag!?! Then, he lies and tells you that once the mother of his children is released from prison that he will get a divorce. Welp, she is released, and it’s over a year later, and now he is crying that he can’t afford it. But, this is not the first time a financial situation has come up. Weren’t you supposed to get married before, but all of a sudden a financial situation prevented you from getting married? Yeah, he realized that his lie about him being divorced would be discovered, so he threw a monkey wrench in that plan, and gave you some song and dance about money. Now, that his wife is out of jail, but he promised to get a divorce, and all of sudden he can’t afford it. I just want you to notice how this financial situation seems to conveniently arise at the right times. Hmph. Sips tea and glances at the morning news show. This is moment and opportunity to create a dialogue, communication, and action plan with your man. You can be honest with him about your feelings, how he’s hurt you, how this situation has made you feel distrustful of him, and you didn’t sign up for this drama. Then, you can set a time line for him to get a divorce from his wife. Within the next three months he has consulted a lawyer. Six months, they have filed the paperwork for divorce, and by the end of the year, the papers are signed, and he is legally divorced. (By the way, he is not going to divorce her. I’m just saying.) Or, you can move out, get a place for you and your child, put him child support, and tell him to get his life in order, fix his situation, and once it’s resolved then maybe, just maybe, you will reconsider your relationship with him, and if you want to move forward. Stop acting powerless, and as if you don’t have a voice in this. You do. He lied to you. He deceived you into this situation. If anything he owes you lots of apologies, an explanation, and to start being honest and truthful with you. Don’t let him off this easy. Take back your power, and own your life. It’s time to set a plan of action, stick to your plan, and be proactive. If you keep sitting like a duck, then how do you expect to become the beautiful swan? – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! Continue reading
Dear Bossip , I first want to say thanks for all the great advice to the ladies. Although you can be brutal at times, your words are always on point. I find myself confused and need your advice. I’ve been dating this man “Marcus” for eight months. He is an electrician. With his job, he travels from city to city (Here in Georgia). His latest assignment landed him in my city. We met, hit it off well, and have decided to become a couple. Things are great. He treats me very well, and I am very happy. Last weekend, we went out with a few of his co-workers for drinks. He got pretty wasted. He and I were having small talk. He said to me he was surprised that I wasn’t married. My response was something to the effect of I was surprised he was single. He then blurted out he was kind of not single, but was just unhappy. I was shocked. I was like you have a girlfriend? He then realized what he had said, and was like he didn’t mean it like that. He meant he was unhappy in his last relationship with the mother of his two girls. I’m like that doesn’t even make any sense. I really am skeptical at this point. Yesterday I walked up on him talking on the phone telling someone that his kids mom is a stay at home mom, and he has to pay all her bills due to his girls. While I do understand him doing this, it still can be a sign of him actually still being with her and just taking care of home while he’s away working. After I overheard his phone conversation, I asked him again was he still with the mother of his girls. He keeps saying no. Then we were watching Tyler Perry’s, “Confessions of a marriage Counselor/Temptations,” and he said something suspect again. He said, “I have to make sure my kids mother see this movie. I want her to see what happened to the marriage counselor at the end.” I sarcastically said, “Yeah, let’s call her now.” He then said he was sorry and didn’t mean anything by it. I’ve heard of men having a different woman in every city here in Atlanta, and I want no parts of this for myself. He keeps saying he is single, but I don’t know if I believe him anymore. By the way, he’s a Libra, and they are charming liars from what I hear. I don’t know what to believe. If he has a girl, I will end things. I just don’t know if he does. What do you think? – Ms. I Think I’m Being Gamed Dear Ms. I Think I’m Being Gamed , Face palm, face palm, face palm. SMDH! I know it’s a shortage of men in Atlanta, but DAMN! Are y’all down there willingly and knowingly sharing community d**k? You lie to yourself, or you convince yourself that as long as you don’t see it or her, then it’s okay. It’s just speculation. The thirst is heavy. Ma’am, you got all this damn evidence smacking you in the damn face and you still refuse to acknowledge what is painfully obvious. YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. YOU ARE A SIDECHICK. He has revealed critical information regarding another woman, children, her staying home and him paying all the bills. Yet, you allow him to slick talk you out of what you hear, feel, and know because why? Why don’t you want to believe what you’re hearing or believing? What about this man is so amazingly wonderful that you refuse to believe your own ears, instincts, and personal judgment? I don’t get some of you women. Evidence can be staring you right in your face, hell, it can be written in 24-font posted on the wall, and all the details, pertinent information, and involved parties can be listed, yet, you still refuse to acknowledge it because you want a man. Any man. A piece of a man. Just some man in your bed and banging you out. UGH! Liquor is a truth serum. It is the devil’s elixir. You want some information from someone, wait until they are drinking, or are drunk, and it all comes out. They will reveal everything. And, this traveling electrician, whom you met while he was visiting your city, and whom you decided to start a relationship with without knowing too much about him, reveals to you that he is “kind of not single.” What the hell is that? Either you are single or not. Duh! But, against your better judgment, and instincts, you continue the relationship with him. Why? Please explain why you continued to see this man. But, then you walk up on him during a phone conversation and learn that his children’s mother is a stay-at-home mom, and he pays all the bills. Uhm, sweetie, how much money is this man making? She can afford to be a stay-at-home mom, and he pays all the bills, and he can entertain you with dates? Ma’am, I’m going to need for you to use your cognitive thinking skills and start making some deductions. He is living with her! They are a couple! Want to know how I know this? Have you been to his home? Do you know where he lives? No you have not. And, you never will because he lives with her. I’ll wait while you shake your wig with your mouth wide-open and that look of shock on your face. Pulls out my bull-ish calculator and begins adding –ish up. 1.) He travels for his work from city to city within your state. Don’t trust him. Think about it, you met him while he was in your city. Thus, adding one city and multiply that by him visiting several cities within the state, then let me do the square root of him meeting other women the same way he met you. Uhm, my deductions indicate he is a traveling hoe and that you are not the only woman he is banging, or spending his time with. 2.) Based on your letter it seems you spend a lot of time hanging out in your city, and at your place of residence. Let’s see here: Add him coming to your home all the time and visiting you in your city and at your place. Then divide the fact that this gives him the ability to not be seen in his own hometown, and reduces the likelihood of him running into someone he knows, or, lying to his wife/girlfriend, or whomever she is to him, that he is out working. Now, let’s add all this up, and BOOM! He’s a liar! He’s manipulative and deceptive. Notice that when he gets caught he immediately results to the sorry, and apologetic excuse of he didn’t mean it, or anything by it. 3.) You don’t know where he lives. You’ve never been to his home. He spends all his time visiting you, and you women fall for the ole okey doke because he’s driving to come see you. He’s taking the time out of his schedule to visit you, and spend quality time with you. Uhm, NOOOOO! It’s because he knows how to conveniently lie to his wife, girlfriend, or woman he is living with, and he has a few hours to get away and he comes to spend it with you. Now, you add that –ish up and you tell me what you come up with. Look, the man has lied to you on several occasions, and you’ve caught him in the lie. Why won’t you trust yourself, and the gut feeling you’re getting? If you don’t trust yourself, then it’s easy to allow someone to come into your space and lie to you as well. So, ask him to be honest and tell you the truth. Present your facts to him of what you know. But, he’s going to continue to lie to you because that all he knows how to do. So, that’s when you ask him if you can visit him at his home. Ask if you can spend some time at his place, and that you want to hang out in his hometown instead of yours. As he stutters, and makes excuses as to why you can’t visit him, or come to his place, then you politely escort him out of your home and bid him adieu. You can play this game with him if you want, but know that the game will end with you never being his woman. You’ll always suspect him of cheating, lying, and being deceptive. You’ll wonder when he’s not with you, then what is he doing, and with whom. So, I suggest you end the game before it begins, get the truth out of him, and then decide how to move your piece on the board. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
View original post here:
Dear Bossip: He Travels Within The State For Work & I Suspect He Has A Girl And Seeing Other Women
Back in the day none of the teachers were as young and supple as lil Kalee… where are they coming from? A Wall Township High School teacher has been arrested and charged with having a sexual relationship with a student. According to the complaint, Kalee Warnick, 22, has been charged with aggravated criminal sexual contact and endangering the welfare of a child. The complaint alleges that the ninth-grade English teacher had a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old student. Turn the pages to see some photos we… dug up along with tweets from her students. Continue reading
Dear Bossip , My child’s father and I were together for over 8 years. I met him while we were both stationed overseas in the Navy. We have not been together for over 2 years. But, I’m not writing about why our relationship failed. We have a 5 year old son that we co-parent. We have learned that we are better as friends and have agreed that we will raise our son together. One morning he texted me and told me, “Good morning,” and, “Have a good day.” This is common so I thought nothing of it. Later on that day he called me and told me not to respond to the text. When I asked him why he told me that he left his Ipad at one of the female’s house that he is currently seeing. We both have Iphones and Ipads, so with the Imessage being linked to the Ipad, it will send your text conversation to the Ipad. Seeing that he left the Ipad over to the female’s house, she was able to see what he texted me. He told me don’t reply to any text message I receive from him until he gets his Ipad. I told him that I did not reply to text message anyway. And, that was the end of the conversation. Later on that night he called me and told me that him and the female got into an argument about him texting me good morning. He told me that she was chasing him around with a knife and a cinder block around the house in front of her 4 children. I told him that was unacceptable and that if he valued his life and wanted to see his son into manhood that he would need to stop seeing her. I feel that any person that you are in a relationship with, male or female, that will cause you bodily harm then you don’t need to be with them. He agreed and that was the end of the conversation. That next night he called me and asked for a favor. He wanted me to talk to the female because she wanted to ask me something. I immediately told him NO! I told him that there is nothing that we needed to discuss. And I hung up. He called back later and asked to Facetime with our son. He talked to our son for a while and then asked to speak to me. While we were talking all of a sudden the female comes on speaker phone out of nowhere. I couldn’t believe it!! I was too upset. I felt that he set me up because he knew I would not talk to the female. Then she starts asking me about how much he texts me, and why she couldn’t come to our son’s party and a whole lot of other mess. I simply listened to her rant and rave about this and that. After she was done I told her in a calm voice that I don’t argue with people and that there was nothing for us to talk about. And, that I communicate with him for our child, just as I’m sure she talks with all of her 4 baby daddies. And, that what we talk about has nothing to do with her unless she is going to start helping out financial with our child. And with that I hung up the phone. My question is this: After all of this I told him that if he was going to bring his mess with his females to me then he does not even need to call, or even to speak to our child. I don’t like drama and when it is brought to me I shut it down. I don’t deal with it. I have been told that I am wrong for telling him not to call or have him around her. And, I told him anyone that is threatening to kill him and chase him around with a knife then they don’t need to be around my child. I mean if she feels that it’s acceptable for her to do it in front of her children then that’s her. But, in front of mines, no, it will not go down like that. And, lord forbids there is a time that she actually kills him. Was I wrong for giving him the ultimatum of? It’s either her, or our son. – It’s Her Or Our Child Dear Ms. It’s Her Or Our Child , Ma’am! Ma’am! Ma’am! This right here! Yassss! I don’t blame you! You shut that –ish down quick, fast, and in a hurry! Werk momma! And, I feel like you, I don’t have time to sit around arguing with folks, nor divulging in drama or stress. Ain’t nobody dealing with all that –ish, and especially not when it involves your children. Hell to the naw! So, yes, you did the right thing by telling your ex and his woman that what goes on between you and he has nothing to do with her, and particularly it has nothing to do with your child unless she is contributing financially to his well-being. Other than that, she needs to stay in her place and in her lane. There is no reason she needs to have conversations with you. For the hell what? What’s going on between he and her is between he and her and has nothing to do with you, just like your child and what goes on between you and he has nothing to do with her. She needs to learn how to stay in her place. Also, she doesn’t need to be at your son’s party. Why? For what? It’s a child’s party for your son and his family. She is your ex’s girlfriend. She needs to slow her damn roll and your ex needs to make sure to put her in her place. She just wants to come and be in your business, and to meet you. And, she wants to flaunt herself around the party that she is in his life. Uhm, she can have several side chick seats on the sideline. But, as you can see she is unstable and mentally and emotionally unhealthy. And, definitely when someone displays signs of being physically abusive, then it is time to go! Why would you want your child in that environment? If she will chase your ex around the house with a knife and cinder block in front of her children, then there is nothing to prevent her from doing something like that in front of your child. So, no, unless you arrange supervised visitations, then don’t leave your child with him and that woman. Who knows what she is capable of doing, and what will set her off. Yeah, you don’t play when it comes to your child, and she is threatening physical violence. I don’t know if you have child support arranged, or how you are handling your visitations, but I strongly encourage you to arrange with the courts to have supervised visitations, and explain to the court what happened and why you feel your child will not be safe in her home, and why you don’t want your child left alone with them. That will resolve that matter. And, your ex needs to get a handle on his home front and situation quick, fast, and in a hurry. This woman is going to do nothing but try to cause havoc and chaos in his and your life. And, I don’t blame you. Don’t get caught up in his drama and his mess. He’s trying to wrangle you in by having you talk with her to resolve the issues he’s created with her. Sorry, but, err uhm, he’s got to be a big boy and hold his own. You handled the situation classy and tactfully. You informed both he and her that you don’t engage in arguments and drama. You will not entertain her insecurities, nor his requests to appease her or his relationship. And, why would he even think it’s okay to call you up and talk with her? You are not in high school. You are grown folks. And, if she is that insecure about what he’s doing and who he’s texting, then perhaps she doesn’t need to be with him! So, don’t get caught up in their mess. Explain to him how you won’t get involved, and for him to not involve you with their drama. You had a good arrangement up until then, and if he can’t handle that then you will get the courts involved, and the courts will help resolve it for you. Also, remain in communication with your ex about the best ways to have visitation because you want him to be involved in his child’s life, but you are not allowing your child to be with them, particularly her, alone. Unfortunately, you can’t control who he dates, but, you can work out some type of arrangement of how and the type of environment you feel is best suitable for your child to be exposed to. And, explain to him why you feel the way you do. I’m sure you can work something out. But, you are doing the right thing, and I commend you on being a grown woman and not engaging in your ex’s girlfriend silly and immature tactics. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! Continue reading
Kim Kardashian may want to remain in hiding a bit longer. The leader of the free world just took shots at her and Kanye West. Sort of. In remarks made in front of Amazon employees in Chattanooga last week, President Obama used Kim and Kanye as examples of a “shift in culture” that is poisoning today’s youth and altering The American Dream. Obama argued that a few years back “kids weren’t monitoring every day what Kim Kardashian was wearing, or where Kanye West was going on vacation, and thinking that somehow that was the mark of success.” The President added: “There has been a shift in culture. We weren’t exposed to the things we didn’t have in the same way that kids these days are… There was not that window into the lifestyles of the rich and famous.” In other words: perhaps it’s not healthy for young people – who follow Kim Kardashian on Twitter and think they are totally her best friend – to know that Kim and Kanye allegedly spent $767K on gold plated toilets . And it’s especially unhealthy when one considers just how Kim got famous enough to afford such items (we’re looking at you, Kim Kardashian sex tape !). Obama noted that he and wife Michelle are “constantly reminding Malia and Sasha of the slightly unreal environment that they’re in – and that that’s not the norm,” while it seems unlikely Kris Jenner is ensuring her children are equally well grounded. This isn’t the first time the President has called out Kanye. He was caught referring to West as a jackass a couple years ago. What do you think of these comments? Are they accurate? Off base? Inappropriate? Spot on? Watch the following video for more and sound off now! Obama Slams Kimye
See the article here:
President Obama Slams Kim Kardashian, Shift in Celebrity-Based Culture
Posted in Celebrities, Gossip
Tagged amazon, Barack Obama, celeb news, children, Gossip, Hollywood, hollywood update, kim kardashian, Marriage, Music, obama-slams, Sex, stars, words
Sweet baby Jesus… NYPD Shoots And Kills Armed 14-Year-Old After Shoot-Out With Another Man A rookie police officer shot and killed a 14-year-old boy on a street early Sunday after he refused to drop his gun and pointed it in the direction of officers, authorities said. Shaaliver Douse died of a single gunshot to his jaw after the confrontation in the Melrose section of the Bronx. Two officers with the New York Police Department were on foot patrol when they heard gunfire at around 3 a.m. The officers responded to the scene and found the boy with a 9mm handgun firing shots at a fleeing man, authorities said. Police released two surveillance videos Sunday evening that show a man they’ve identified as Douse, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, fire at a group of men standing outside a bodega and then chasing after one of them. Police said Douse fired four shots in all. The officers identified themselves as police and ordered him to drop his weapon, authorities said. “The officers ordered Douse to drop the gun but instead he fired another round,” NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly said at a news conference. “It is undetermined at this time whether he fired at the officers or a fourth time at the unknown male who had just run past the officers.” When he pointed his gun in the direction of officers, one of the officers shot him, police said. Douse was pronounced dead at the scene. Although it appears that Shaaliver Douse was clearly in the wrong, it’s still sad to see another young brother killed. Especially at the hands of the police… Image via Douse Family Continue reading
Dear Bossip , I’ve been in love with the same man since September 2010. We met on a deployment. I lived in North Carolina and he lived in Alabama. He was a gentleman, a dream come true, until we got back to the states. He started hiding our relationship. He let his friends talk greasy about me on Facebook and would not let me meet his mom. Around January/February 2011 I found out the reason that he wouldn’t take me to meet his mom was because his ex lived there. I found this out after she tried to add me on Facebook. Around this same time I found out that he had given me two STD’s at once. Both curable. I forgave him. He kept lying and only God knows about what else. So, we broke up in May. I moved on with my life. So, in December 2011 he came back to me wanting to get back together. I said yes. January went by smoothly. In February I received an email from a girl that said she was also his woman. She also told me about the baby he had on the way with the one that lived with his mom. I was devastated. He told me that he hadn’t seen or talked to the girl since November (we were both on two separate deployments at this time). He also told me that he had planned on telling me about the baby face to face when we got home. I was so hurt because at the time the baby was conceived he was still telling me he loved me. It was the same girl that had originally broken us up in the first place. I tried to stomach it for love, but when he took his time getting a DNA test I just couldn’t do it. We broke up in May 2012. Fast forward to May 2013, he emails me to say Happy Birthday and it turns into friendly conversation. He had a girl and I had a man. His girlfriend (the one that told me about the baby) emails me to let me know that they had gotten back together and that I needed to stop talking to her man. This whole time he been telling me how much he loves and misses me, but not once did he say he would leave her for me. I guess I’m writing to you because I don’t know how to just tell him to leave me alone and stop coming back into my life. Because I feel like he only comes back to figure out if he still has a place in my heart, and to see that if he really did want to come back to me if I would take him back. I love him. I really do. He was my first love. I think about him every day, but I know in my heart that he will never grow up and he will never leave his baby mama alone or take any woman serious. I love him, but I am not in love with him. He emails me and when I email him back 4 to 5 days later, he gets a little attitude. I don’t know how to tell him to leave me alone for good. Whatever I do it turns into an argument. – Want To Move On Dear Ms. Want To Move On , I’m sorry, but what is so difficult about telling someone to leave you the hell alone!?! He is only coming back into your life because you allow him to come back in your life. Stop responding to him and he will leave you alone. HELLO! Stop giving him entrée. Stop all communication. Stop answering his emails. Stop answering his texts. Stop every damn thing and he will leave you alone. Damn! It’s that simple. But, you like this attention. You enjoy him coming back to you in and out of your life. You find it amusing knowing that he is thinking about you. Because as you stated in your letter, you think about him every day. You keep him alive and this drama going on between you and him because you are enjoying his attention. You feel that although he has a woman, and you may have a man, that he is still reaching out to you because there must be something there. There must be some love, some affection, and you get a kick out of knowing he is going behind his woman’s back and telling you things you want to hear. So, be honest and ask yourself why do you feel the need to respond? What are you getting out of it? What do you possibly owe him, and what are you hoping to get out of these exchanges? Yeah, you playing these games with him, so, ma’am, I’m going to need for you to grow the hell up and stop all these shenanigans. Ain’t nobody got time to be playing with you and inflating your self-esteem and ego. And, ma’am, I want you to be very aware of what I’m about to tell you: He doesn’t love. He doesn’t even like you. You are someone he tolerates and likes dumping his STD’s into. Point blank! The man never apologized to you for giving you two STD’s at the same time. Please tell me what is there to love about him? Please tell me how you can possibly even think this man deserves any of your time, or attention? He gave you two STD’s at the same time. (Uhm, burns much). LOL! Honey, he never apologized or stood up for you when his friends were talking greasy about you on Facebook. He never even introduced you to his mother. As you’ve stated in your letter, you were a secret that he hid and never admitted to anyone that you were his woman. Which means he was embarrassed and ashamed to call you his woman. And, on top of that, he had his other woman, the one who had his baby, living with his momma, and still dipping up in you because you spread your legs and let him run up in you raw thinking he loved you. HE DIDN’T, DOES NOT, and NEVER WILL! So, it’s time you stop calling him your first love, and that you have all these feelings for him. This man didn’t have any feelings for you because if he did, then he wouldn’t have put you through all this drama, stress, and emotional, mental, and physical pain he has taken you through. You’re the woman he knows who is naïve enough to let him keep coming and going, and continue to give him some gush-gush and run game on you. When you learn to respect yourself, demand better for yourself, and stop letting men treat you like a doormat, then you can truly get rid of him. Until you can truly and honestly be real with yourself about why you keep letting him come back and forth in your life, and why you feel the need to respond to him when he reaches out to you, then he will keep coming back. So, cut the cord. Drop his a**. And, stop responding to him. If you truly want to get him out of your life, then stop responding to his emails, block his a**, and block his number. As a matter of fact, put DNA next to his name and number (Do Not Answer). Pull yourself together and go live your life. Stop harboring and thinking about him every day. When thoughts of him come up, put on some music, read a book, go jogging, do something to distract the thoughts, and trust me you will eventually not even have a thought or concern about him. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! Continue reading
Keepin’ it comin’ folks! At this rate Paula Deen will be on welfare by the end of the month! Paula Deen Dropped From Her Publishing Deal According to TMZ reports : The demolition derby known as Paula Deen’s empire rolls on — she’s just been dropped by one of her publishers, which says it will no longer release her next project … which was expected to be a best seller. In a statement released Friday, Ballantine Books announced it has cancelled the publication of “Paula Deen’s New Testament: 250 Favorite Recipes, All Lightened Up”. But get this … even though the book wasn’t set to come out until October, it’s already #1 on Amazon with pre-order sales. Ballantine adds its name to the long list of companies abandoning ship in light of Deen’s n-word controversy … The Food Network, QVC, JCPenny, and Smithfield Hams, etc … This fat broad’s books aren’t the only things that won’t be selling anymore.. Paula Deen’s officially the least popular kid on the playground … JCPenney just severed ties with the celebrity chef in the wake of her n-word scandal. A rep for the department store released a statement today, saying, “We can confirm that jcpenney has decided to discontinue selling Paula Deen branded merchandise.” JCP had sold Deen-brand kitchen products … which is good news for Martha Stewart. Those “black leaders” can have all the sympathy they want, Paula Deen can’t get isht from us but a hard kick in the a$$ and a GTFOH! Image via WENN
View original post here:
And Another One: Racist Cholesterol Cookin’ Chef Paula Deen Dropped By Her Book Publisher AND JC Penney Over N-Word Controversy!
Posted in Celebrities, Hollywood, Hot Stuff
Tagged amazon, bennyhollywood, celeb news, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity News, dirty dog diaries, network, publication, race matters, Sex, stars
Breaking Sports Video
Pac-12 NCAA Sports
Justin Bieber Fan Site Breaking News
