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The nice thing about Emily Ratajkowski and her freakishly weird belly button, is that she will fade into obscurity. You see she was a busty topless model who tried so fucking hard to make it. She shot with every photographer she could, yet no one fucking cared about her, or noticed her, except for me…and then all of a sudden, she’s cast in a massive massive music video as the key tits…and boom…over…booking jobs, booking movie roles, booking Sports Illustrated, all while being average at best, a little bird-faced and despite being in her early 20s, like she got her face rebuilt by botox and other fillers… I don’t hate her, I just laugh at how the internet works, one thing goes viral, and it brings all the pieces that are part of it up with it, but like all things with no talent to back up what she does, and when another smoke-and-mirror Kanye West groupie comes along, the world will forget that Emily Ratajkowski ever existed…except maybe for me, because I think she’s lovely, even if she’s stopped communicating with me now that she’s famous, despite communicating with me before she was famous on a regular basis…I’m not mad, it’s expected from fake-ness…it’s just the internet.

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Emily Ratajkowski is Boring in a Bikini of the Day