Tag Archives: ashley-greene

Julie Henderson is Russell Simmons’ Young and Probably Not So Fresh Vagina of the Day

It turns out that Russell Simmons is dating a model, I originally thought she was just some fit girl he was trying to seduce on the beach with his spiritual moves in efforts to not look like a socially awkward loser who relies on his extreme wealth and success to get pussy, the kind of guy who when told he looks familiar says that he gets that all the time because he looks and sounds like some kind of familiar muppet or cartoon character, but I guess that’s just my Russell Simmons fantasy and not the way it actually goes down because anyone with an adult lisp has no choice but to milk all the money he’s made by promising fresh white pussy he will make her the next supermodel because of his ties in the fashion world, and by fresh pussy, I mean as fresh as a pussy who has worked her way to Russell Simmon’s dick can possibly be, cuz you know he didn’t take her virginity, and that this is wallet fucking is a place she’s been before….just never this high profile…. Either way, here is her young body in a bikini…. Pics via Bauer

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Julie Henderson is Russell Simmons’ Young and Probably Not So Fresh Vagina of the Day

Cheryl Tweedy Showin’ Off Her Gutter Tattoos of the Day

There’s nothing like bringing some seemingly clean, hot bodied girl you picked up drinking whiskey at the local cowboy bar, after striking up conversation with her about why someone so tight bodied would be in such a piece of shit place, with piece of shit men like yourself, who just want to fuck her ass like it was a piece of fuckin’ warm wet meat while treating her like a piece of fuckin’ shit, to the hourly rate motel down the street from the cowboy bar, where you strip her down in your dark hotel room, ravaging her, grabbing her, licking her and suckin her, sliding your hand up her thigh and feeling her well trimmed muff under some lacy panties before throwin’ her on the bed and licking her from the knee up her inner thigh on your way to that glorious pussy that felt so nice just moments earlier, but noticing this gutter tattoo before you get to your destination distracts you so much making you ask her where she got it risking ruining the moment and having her say “In Prison”, making you scared to ask why, but it reminds you that this bitch is someone you probably want to use a condom with because she’s been around enough to get arrested, making you realize prison tattoos strategically placed on the way to the pussy acts like a warning sign that this pussy may be tainted and for that, we thank Cheryl Tweedy for being so considerate, despite the cold hard truth that we will never get to really maximize it’s purpose since she’s not hanging in ghetto local cowboy bars, she’s all famous and luxurious and shit….but we can jerk off to pics of it.

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Cheryl Tweedy Showin’ Off Her Gutter Tattoos of the Day

Ashley Greene Bikini Pics Are Doin The Rounds of the Day

Ashley Greene is some bitch from Jacksonville Florida, or what I call the land of opportunity and if you’re a loser who is not a 13 year old girl but into the same things as 13 year old girls, you will know her from the Twilight movies…. Truth is that being into the same thing as 13 year old girls isn’t that bad of strategy to get laid. If you get into what 13 year olds are into now, it gives you something to talk about now, planting the seed and developing a bit of a friendship so that by the time they turn 18 they’ll be willing to sleep with you because you’ve been such a cool, involved, personable neighbor all these years….

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Ashley Greene Bikini Pics Are Doin The Rounds of the Day

Taylor Lautner: New Moon is Manly!

To many, New Moon might be considered the ultimate chick flick.

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Taylor Lautner: New Moon is Manly!

Sightings: Ashley Greene & Kellan Lutz’s Night Off

Selena Gomez is definitely not the only celeb these days into singer-songwriter Jason Mraz. One of our spies spotted Twilight stars Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz on Wednesday night at…

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Sightings: Ashley Greene & Kellan Lutz’s Night Off

Jayde Nicole Sues Joe Francis For $1 Million

Brody Jenner’s girlfriend Jayde Nicole is suing Joe Francis for $1 million over the she-said, sleaze-said nightclub brawl in Hollywood last month.

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Jayde Nicole Sues Joe Francis For $1 Million

Ashley Greene: Twilight Saga Fans Love Me!

Ashley Greene is pretty much famous for two reasons: Her role as Alice Cullen in the Twilight Saga. Nude photos that were leaked in August.

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Ashley Greene: Twilight Saga Fans Love Me!

Victoria Beckham Gets Mobbed

Victoria Beckham’s not much of a rugby player, but she made her way through this scrum of photographers when leaving her London hotel today. The former Spice Girl made it to Heathrow Airport without a scratch on her stilettos.

‘Twilight’ Star Jackson Rathbone Injured On Set

Twilight star Jackson Rathbone was reportedly injured on the set of Eclipse after rehearsing a scene with co-star Kellan Lutz. Sources tell us the 24-year-old star was seen walking around with an ice pack on his hand and made a quick trip to the hospital.

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‘Twilight’ Star Jackson Rathbone Injured On Set

We’re Nuts About Lutz!

Check out dashing man about town Kellan Lutz (aka Twilight’s Emmett Cullen) hitting an Emmy afterparty at LA’s Chateau Marmont.