Ready for the ultimate list of 27 hottest celeb MILFs? If you're reading this, then obviously yes, you are ready and then some. Scroll through the hottest moms in Hollywood right here and now and tell us who you'd most love to … buy flowers for today! 1. Mila Kunis Mila Kunis is the mother to a girl named Wyatt. We’re so jealous Ashton Kutcher gets to sleep with her. 2. Kourtney Kardashian Now that’s an attractive family! Kim’s big sis Kourtney often flaunts her figure in teeny weeny bikinis. 3. Brooke Burke A 42-year-old mother of four, Brooke Burke still looks like this. Jealous?! 4. Sofia Vergara This bombshell calls herself mom to a 20-year-old son. 5. Christie Brinkley The supermodel and mother of four is 60 … going on about 30? Talk about ageless! 6. Beyonce Is it possible that Blue Ivy’s mom gets sexier by the day? View Slideshow
I am always amazed when I look at Katie Holmes and see what looks like a 50 year old mom…her hard battered face that has seen some shit and escaped that shit…and by shit I mean Scientology…something that is very secretive and that leverages your secrets so that you never leave them and keep giving them money…even if the overall lessons of Scientology are to work out, look good and be positive…the backend of it is apparently evil…not that I know anything about scientology, I am just basing it all off of her face… That said, I was never a Katie Holmes fan, I didn’t watch Dawson’s Creek, because I have a penis…and I found that shit to cater to people who don’t have penis….I did like the one nude scene she did where she was dead and underwater while naked…because it make me question my love for tits being so deep rooted that I’d jerk off to a dead bitch…because TITS… Well now, she just looks like old melting face pile of shit…and for some reason I was compelled to pot this…a reason I don’t know because I generally avoid the over 30 crowd… The post Katie Holmes Old Scary Face of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
Brooke Burke must be pushing 50 by now, and I don’t mean pushing 50 kids out of her pussy, I think she’s closer to around 5, I mean pushing 50 in age, old as fuck…but still rocking a hot body…because I guess when you’re a 90s Playboy chick, turned Wild On host, Turned first season of Dancing with the Stars winner, you have a commitment to your fans, who are probably some of the weirdest people in the world, because honestly, even if you were into her on Wild On, you’ve gone on with your life and forgotten her…so the people still around…are the kind of weirdo people you probably chatted with in chatrooms when chatrooms were a thing and not facebook…..you know sad, possibly disabled…freaks.. Either way, she’s doing a photoshoot, and her mom pussy is covered up so you can focus on her low estrogen thanks to menopause abs from working out all day…which aren’t so bad if there isn’t a younger girl around to stare at…you know the kind of mom on the resort vacation with the “girls” who you try to fuck because the rest of her friends never recovered from the baby weight due to cake… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Brooke Burke’s in a Bikini of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
One thing I hate about mainstream media is the shitty, clever, bullshit puns that they apply to their stories… Like looking at this Brooke Burke digging through the junk in her trunk, while wearing leggings, that would make someone, like a dad, say “look at her junk in her trunk”….leading me to use it as the headline…making me just as pathetic, uncreative, and lame as them…everything I always hated…I have become.. But in my defence, Brooke Burke doesn’t inspire me to tell stories of partying around the world like she did for a cable network, before settling down and having a bunch of kids…probably because she settled down and had a bunch of kids…making her, even if still kinda hot like her Playboy past, a married mom…no one should care about…and probably don’t….but she’s got junk in her trunk. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE
I’m pretty sure Brooke Burke has got to be in her 40s or something by now, and for anybody wondering how she manages to keep that booty of hers looking this good in a pair of leggings, these pictures of her at a farmer’s market ought to answer that. I don’t know a lot about this whole “diet and exercise” thing (I’m a blogger, remember?), but I’m pretty sure eating healthy is a big part of staying in shape. And also bi-weekly “aerobics” sessions with a blogger, but I understand if that one’s not for everybody. Photos: Fameflynet
Brooke Burke Chavet has gone from bikini wearing host of Wild On…to fitness mom with a lifestyle brand other moms who I guess used to watch Wild On, back when they were party sluts, with dreams of being the next Tara Reid, on some perpetual spring break, before turning 25, getting knocked up and fat, with memories of all the gang bangs that happened, before they traded in the bikini for the suburban home…and apparently they go to Brooke Burke, the hustler who turned being a cheesy raging party slut with fake tits and a hot body, into a lifestyle brand thanks to the tabloids, dancing with the stars, and what some would call bottom feeding, but what her bank account calls genius… I am no a fan of party girls, or people who get paid to pretend to be party girls, pulling their life together and figuring it all out, I prefer them being at dive bars, drinking their sorrows, remembering the glory days, not by choice, but because of the infected herpes scab…. To See the Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE
We don’t get these too often anymore these days, but it’s time for a rare Brooke Burke sighting. According to my sources, these killer booty shots are from a Sketchers ad she was shooting, and I know Brooke’s got to be in her 40s by now, but her body still looks just as good as most chicks in their 20s. Anyway, to all you ladies out there wondering what her secret is, I’ll tell you: she hooks up with a blogger for 30 minutes three times a week. OK, so that’s a lie, but still, doesn’t that sound like way more fun than whatever stupid juice cleanse you were going to try instead? Call me. » view all 23 photos Photos: PacificCoastNews
No one cares enough about Aubrey O’Day to take pictures of her, but this is the #SELFIE generation and she’s got instagram to distribute the self shot erotica for her…and the worst thing about all this is that she turns me on. Most of you don’t know who this is, but she was on some show where she fucked Diddy and ended up in a pop band….that lasted 3-5 minutes…like Diddy…and then she took on being a snowflake black dudes wanted to fuck and bitch started eating and eating and eating and it was fun to laugh at….until she realized…she’ll get farther with her fat ass and fake titties if the rest of her is fit as fuck…so she got to work on herself and now I’m getting turned on by her after what must be 5 years of making fun of her…when I could have been writing her love letters…what a fail…
Wild On Happened Brooke Burke…in the fucking 90s… I think it’s safe to say that it is a good time time to throw in sports bra and/or bikini top, because you’re a mom and 100 years old…. I get it, she’s fit as fuck, and fit is hot, and fit 40 year olds are something to celebrate when you’re a 30+ women seeking hope that your kids won’t rape you physically…but when fitness is coupled with menopause…bitches start to just look like dudes..and despite the fact that a lot of guys like girls who look like dudes…I don’t. I see these ripped old ladies at the Starbucks all the time, and I’m just like “interesting”…but they are still old fucking gross no matter how many pull ups they do…or botox they get… You can try to beat the clock like one of your cheap as fuck gameshows…but biology always wins… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE
Brooke Burke-Charvet will not be by Tom Bergeron’s side on Dancing With the Stars in 2014, and it was not the co-host’s choice to bid the show farewell. The 42-year-old confirmed her abrupt, surprising departure Friday. “I have enjoyed seven seasons co-hosting DWTS but understand the need for change considering the position of the show at this juncture,” she said in a statement. Putting a positive spin on it as best she can, Brooke Burke says: “I’ve always been one to embrace change and looking forward to pursuing opportunities I previously wasn’t able to entertain because of contractual obligations.” But in an appropriately-worded parting shot, she adds, “I’ve seen my fair share of shocking eliminations in the ballroom but this one takes the cake.” Sources tell E! that Burke-Charvet had no idea her job was on the line until ABC apparently informed her Friday afternoon she wouldn’t be returning . “We can confirm that Brooke Burke-Charvet will not be joining us next season,” DWTS executive producer Conrad Green said in his own statement. “She’s been a wonderful part of the Dancing with the Stars family since her triumphant win in season seven and will unquestionably be missed by our entire team.” “We’d like to thank Brooke for her years of great service.” Burke-Charvet won season seven with her partner Derek Hough, then later replaced Samantha Harris as cohost for the most recent seven seasons. DWTS returns in its new one-night format when Season 18 kicks off Monday, March 17. At least no one will boot Brooke out of this exclusive club … 23 Hottest Celebrity MILFs Open Slideshow 1. Brooke Burke A 42-year-old mother of four, Brooke Burke still looks like this. Jealous?! View As List 1. Brooke Burke A 42-year-old mother of four, Brooke Burke still looks like this. Jealous?! 2. Sofia Vergara This bombshell calls herself mom to a 20-year-old son. 3. Beyonce Is it possible that Blue Ivy’s mom gets sexier by the day? 4. Kate Beckinsale This stunning Brit doesn’t look a day over 25, but has a teenage daughter. 5. Jessica Alba Jessica always looks flawless, whether she’s on a red carpet or a playground. 6. Gwen Stefani The chic rocker mom is expecting baby number three and looking fabulous. 7. Halle Berry Mom of two Halle recently turned 47. Can you believe it? 8. Shakira New mom Shakira’s hips still don’t lie. (But don’t forget about those abs, people.) 9. Kristin Cavallari The Hills star is expecting baby number two and showing off sexy selfies while she’s at it! 10. Adriana Lima This Angel walked the Victoria’s Secret runway 8 weeks after giving birth… 11. Heidi Klum Once nicknamed “The Body,” Heidi’s still working that title to the fullest today! 12. Kim Kardashian North’s mama has got some of the hottest curves in the biz 13. Jenna Dewan-Tatum The gorgeous Mrs. Channing Tatum showed off her baby bump while pregnant with daughter Everly. 14. Miranda Kerr This awesome Aussie is one of today’s most in-demand faces. 15. Penelope Cruz This sultry Spanish star is a mommy of two. 16. Kourtney Kardashian Now that’s an attractive family! Kim’s big sis Kourtney often flaunts her figure in teeny weeny bikinis. 17. Britney Spears Britney Spears is still a smokin’ hot mother of two. We’ll just try to forget that this dude is the father. 18. Jessica Simpson Jessica Simpson had two kids in like a year! 19. Reese Witherspoon The 37-year-old Oscar winner has three kids: Ava Elizabeth and Deacon Reese (with Ryan Phillippe) and Tennessee James (with current hubby Jim Toth). 20. Kate Middleton Kate Middleton has made motherhood look easy – and royally, naturally beautiful – from the day she gave birth to the future King. 21. Jennifer Lopez The ageless Jennifer Lopez is the proud parent of twins. 22. Christie Brinkley The supermodel and mother of four is 60 … going on about 30? Talk about ageless! 23. Jennifer Garner About as normal-seeming, and committed to being a mom, as any A-list star ever was. Who doesn’t love Jen?!
