Actors who portray badass characters generally aren’t quite as cool in real life as their onscreen creations. But that might not be the case with Sophie Turner. Sophie is obviously best known for her role as the savvy and uber-resilient Sansa Stark on Game of Thrones . But after today, you might prefer to think of her as Slayer of the Doughy Douche Lord. We’re talking, of course, about Piers Morgan, a man who’s clung to his last remaining shred of relevancy by burying his nose in Donald Trump’s nether regions and adopting the most obnoxious “hot take” extremist stance on every issue to come down the pike. Piers is one of those media figures who’s forever railing against the “snowflake” weaklings who he accuses of undermining the manly virtues that form the foundations of the western world. This, despite the fact that Piers has roughly the same build as the Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons and melts down like Frosty at the Equator every time someone says something mean about him on the internet. Still licking his wounds after waging a losing battle against Ariana Grande fans , Piers has decided to take on the mentally ill. We kid you not. On Wednesday, Piers retweeted an article the unknown-on-this-side-of-the-pond actress Beverley Callard, who is apparently very pissed off that famous people are demonstrating compassion toward people suffering from medical ailments. “Beverley Callard says celebs are trying to make mental health problems ‘fashionable,'” reads the original tweet. “She’ll be hammered for saying this, but it’s 100% true.” What we have here is a couple elderly edgelords presenting an objectively dumb opinion and preemptively patting themselves on the back for all the flak they’re gonna take, as if the impending ratio in any way lends credence to what they’re saying. By their logic, celebrities who speak out against opioid addiction are glamorizing fentanyl. These are the obnoxious blatherings like these might prompt you to respond to Piers directly, but we encourage you to hold off. For one thing, Morgan has a reputation for reporting his critics as “bullies” and having them confined to Twitter jail. On top of that, Sophie Turner already decimated Piers for you: “Or maybe they have a platform to speak out about it and help get rid of the stigma of mental illness which affects 1 in 4 people in UK per year,” Turner replied. “But please go ahead and shun them back into silence. Twat.” Oof. Piers would probably happily trade places with Theon Greyjoy at this point. All hail Lady Sansa.
So… this happened on Friday: View Slideshow: Jenelle Evans Sets Fire to Kailyn Lowry Hair Care Products: Take Your Peace Offering and … As documented in the gallery above, Jenelle Evans received a gift from Kailyn Lowry earlier in the week. It was a package of Kailyn’s Pothead Haircare products. Nice and thoughtful, right? Not quite, according to Evans, who responded by filming herself POURING GASOLINE ON THE PRESENT AND THEN SETTING T ON FIRE. “Hey, Kail. This is to your peace offering,” she quipped before taking this dangerous and pretty hilarious course of action. “Been debating whether to upload this, but I feel like the time is appropriate. Kail Lowry, for years you’ve been super jealous and envious of all us girls on the show,” Evans captioned the post, adding: “You try to make your way into the group, then turn into a mean ass person when it came down to me.” Along with the emoji of a raised middle finger, Evans concluded: You apologize on/off, claim I need to be apologizing sometimes, then talk shit constantly about me and my husband to the tabloids?! T HEN you had the balls to send me a PEACE GATHERING GIFT?! Don’t send me gifts and then go talk shit AGAIN!!! Wow, you’re an idiot cuz this is what I do for gifts sent from fake ass bitches like you. Stay our of my life, go worry about your own. Pretty straightforward, huh? It sounds very much as if Lowry received Jenelle’s message loud and clear… … and isn’t all that stressed about it. “I knew they would do this. I’m not upset at all,” Lowry told Us Weekly when asked about the burning. Kailyn also shared a screenshot of Evans’ video on her Instagram Story shortly after it was posted and wrote: “So Jenelle set my peace offering gift on fire…” She proceeded to joke about the incident on Twitter by replying to tweet with a picture of the flame-engulfed products and adding, “Potheadhaircare.com is [fire emoji].” It’s true. In her own way, Jenelle has provided her foe with all the free publicity she could ever desire via this gesture. The Teen Mom 2 stars have been at odds with since August when Jenelle appeared to slam Lowry for hooking up with her ex-husband, Javi Marroquin, after his romane with their fellow castmate Briana DeJesus ended. The drama didn’t stop there, though. Evans later accused Lowry of exploiting her and their rivalry for the sake of podcast downloads. “Soooo it’s ok to constantly talk about me on their podcast tho? Don’t you have any other topics than me?! #Flattered,” Evans tweeted at the time, to which the Hustle and Heart author replied: “You’re not actually interesting.” Jenelle Evans to Kailyn Lowry: Your Hair Products SUCK! DeJesus, meanwhile, has also chimed in on Jenelle’s burning. She’s no fan of Kailyn, either, not after they both slept with Javi — and she said the following to In Touch Weekly: “This isn’t my beef but I agree with what Jenelle did and completely get where she’s coming from. “You can’t say sorry and try to make peace and then go talk sh-t about Jenelle and her family. “Kail did the exact same thing to me – talked mad sh-t for a long time and then tries to claim she wanted to make peace at the reunion only to try to provoke some sort of ridiculous fist fight.” Concluded Lowry here: “Kail has a way of pushing people’s buttons, bringing them to a high level of pissed off, and then trying to play the victim in every situation. “I can assure you from my experience, [Kail] is not the victim.” View Slideshow: Teen Mom 2 Trailer: Jenelle Evans’ Marriage Implodes, Leah Finds Love, Adam Still Sucks & Much More!!
It’s been just over two weeks since Kim Porter was found dead and just about a week since she was laid to rest. And now, for the first time, the late model’s oldest son has spoken out about the tragedy. Posting the above photo of himself and his mom, 27-year old Quincy Brown penned the following caption/tribute to Porter on Sunday night: You showed me how to simply live life and be happy no matter the circumstances. So that’s exactly what I’m doing. I miss you [and] love you so much, mommy. Pretty simple. Pretty straightfoward. Pretty powerful. Porter was discoverd inside her Los Angeles home back on November 15. We’re still awaiting the results of an autospy test to determine her cause of death, but multiple sources have confirmed that she was coming off a bout of pneumonia and was feeling ill the day before she died. Still, of course, many questions about what transpired remain. Porter was the mother of four kids, three of them with rapper and producing mogul Diddy. She and the global superstar were together at various points for 13 years, splitting for good in 2007, but remaining very close in the subsequent years as they transitioned to friends and parents. “For the last three days, I’ve been trying to wake up out of this nightmare. But I haven’t. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you baby. I miss you so much,” Diddy wrote on social media in his first post since Kim passed away. He added at the time: “Today I’m going to pay tribute to you, I’m going to try and find the words to explain our unexplainable relationship. We were more than best friends, we were more than soulmates. “WE WERE SOME OTHER S–T!! And I miss you so much. Super Black Love.” Several days after writing these moving words, Diddy spoken many others out loud while eulogizing Porter at her funeral in Georgia . First, he talked about his three kids with Porter and Quincy, who he cared for like a father after Porter welcomed him due to a relationship with artist Al B. Sure. “I just want to say to my kids, Justin, Christian, D’Lila, Jessie, Chance and the other man in the house, Quincy: Your mother instilled in me this, and I pledge in front of everybody right now that I will always be there for you. “I will always take care of you.” Diddy also addressed Porter directly in his emotional speech, according to a number of onlookers. “Kim, we gonna miss you so much,” he said, adding: “But I ain’t gonna miss you too much because I’m not gonna let your voice inside of me stop talking. “I know you like to talk to me a lot once you get on those rants, and I just want you to know I’m gonna be listening.” Diddy went on to recognize the unusual connection he shared with Porter, concluding as follows: “As time went on, our relationship took so many different changes, from being boyfriend and girlfriend to being lovers to being best friends to being just straight-up homies, like somebody that you know you can count on. “And we just love y’all, we appreciate y’all, appreciate the family. To all the words that I’m forgetting, to anything I’m forgetting to say, we love you, Kim. “Thank you.” May Kim Porter rest in peace. View Slideshow: Celebrities Who Died in 2018: In Memoriam
As you’ve likely heard by now, Meghan Markle is pregnant with her first child. Meghan, of course, is in the unique position of having climbed the ladder from basic cable D-lister to international icon in record time, so the eyes of the world are squarely on her growing baby bump. Meghan has reached that level of fame at which people place bets on things like whether or not she’ll have twins and what the baby (or babies) will be named. One mystery that’s attracted a lot of attention in recent weeks is the question of who Meghan and Harry will choose as the baby’s godparents. Naturally, there’s been lots of speculation and a fair bit of wagering, with most concluding that the godparents will be celebrities. Meghan hob-nobs with the global elite these days, so it’s widely assumed that she and Harry will choose some sort of public figures as the godparents. And one couple has become the odds-on favorites to receive the honor. Sources close to Duke and Duchess of Sussex say that while they haven’t made the selection official yet, Harry and Meghan have decided to ask George and Amal Clooney to do the honors. “Amal and Meghan have been close for years, and Harry and George have become buddies because of that,” one insider tells the Daily Mail. “They’re much closer than the headlines let on.” While the offer hasn’t been extended yet, sources say George and Amal have heard the rumors and are looking forward to speaking with Harry and Meghan. Apparently, George has even “told a couple of people he has a strong hunch.” The Clooneys are parents of twins, and news that they’ll serve as godparents has bolstered rumors that Meghan is expecting twins as well. In fact, that’s now considered such a strong possibility that the Irish bookmakers who have hosted the majority of the wagering on Meghan’s pregnancy have stopped accepting bets that she’ll have twins. “An unprecedented amount of bets on Meghan and Harry to have twins has forced us to stop taking bets on the market altogether,” a spokesperson for Paddy Power told Us Weekly in a statement. “Since the day began, the stream of bets has led us to believe that perhaps the punters — or an insider source — knows something more than we do.” So if you can find a bookie who will let you bet that Meghan will have twins and the Clooneys will be the godparents, jump on that! Why should Meghan and Harry be the only ones expecting joyous news? View Slideshow: Meghan Markle vs. Kate Middleton Feud: Tearing William and Harry Apart?!
Last week, Jenni JWoww Farley got candid about her son's autism diagnosis . Now, she's showing off her delight at he speaks — naming through some primary colors while he's busy doing other things. The video that she shared is absolutely adorable. Take a look: “The way he says yellow makes my heart explode,” JWoww writes in the caption of this video. She includes with her words a yellow heart emoji. In the video itself, JWoww prompts Greyson Valor. With her encouragement, he names “red,” “yellow,” and “blue.” Those are the primary colors, and he's wearing two of them. Greyson seems distracted by his snack on the countertop during the video. He's humoring his mother because, well, he's a little kid and that's what you do. He's dressed as Dash from The Incredibles and holding a Jack Jack doll from the same franchise. Greyson then places Jack Jack on the counter and moves to climb up onto his chair. He's such a precious little two-and-a-half-year-old boy. In another video shared by Roger Matthews, Greyson's only prompting is a question. He is asked to name colors rather than simply repeat them, and he does. He's honestly paying more attention to Disney's Rapunzel at the time. “The sky is the limit for this kid,” his father writes in the caption. Greyson clearly knows his colors very well. His parents are showing the world that his autism diagnosis isn't as scary as some people try to make it sound. Part of what makes his parents so excited about his verbal identification of the colors is that his progress with speech is very recent. There is a tendency among parents and even among some who work with children professionally to associate speech with understanding. Children who don't speak don't always communicate that they fully understand their environment. It is not at all uncommon for children on the autistic spectrum to have speech delays as children. That does not mean that don't understand the words that their parents speak to and near them. Greyson has probably known his colors for a very long time. What's pleasing his parents so much is that is he is now giving verbal confirmation. JWoww doesn't want her son's autistism diagnosis used as clickbait , which is a very understandable concern. But she does want to show off her children on social media. In the process, she can educate more and more parents on what it can really be like having a child on the autistic spectrum. While it's true that some autistic adults need neurotypical caregivers in order to function in society, that is not the standard. Unfortunately, images from popular films of nonverbal and barely-functional adults too often come to mind for parents whose young children have just been diagnosed. Autism is a spectrum, and includes a massive variety of traits and qualities. Greyson smiling and speaking is a great way to illustrate that. Some mothers of autistic children seem to use their experience to make things all about them. They become “mommy bloggers” who look for sympathy for their situation, as if an autistic child were a curse. JWoww and Roger do not seem to be doing that at all. They're talking about speech therapy, but it's because they love their son and want to help him succeed in life. JWoww meets her attention quota as a reality star. She doesn't have to use her son for fame, and it's great that she's not trying.
So much for sisterhood. Or for one sisterhood in particular, we should say. Following an intense episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta on Sunday night, NeNe Leakes has made it as clear as she can… … the long-time Bravo personality is finished with Porsha Williams! Shortly after this installment aired, NeNe shared what appears to be a sweet photograph of herself and Williams. And that much is at least true, we guess: the photograph itself is very sweet. But the caption? It veers far closer to sour AF . “When you a ride or die chick!!!!” Leakes wrote (and has since deleted), adding: “Hey lil sis, I got your back! Lil sis: yeah ok! Then throws big sis under the bus! What the F-CK #loyalty #dontbitethehandthatfeedsyou I’m out #beloyaltosomebody.” Porsha Liked the photo — but only because Instagram does not give on a Hate option. “So you text me and ask me a question then make an assumption,” she replied to NeNe’s diss, continuing: “Now you come on social media and blast me! Bitch you got me twisted. #fakeashell #cutthecrap.” What prompted these public remarks? Well… … On the aforementioned episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kandi Burruss opened up to Leakes, Cynthia Bailey and Marlo Hampton about all the ugly dirt she had on Porsha’s boyfriend, Dennis. Should she reveal said dirt to Porsha? NO , they all responded, with NeNe the most adamant that Williams ought to remain in the dark. During the filming of this episode, NeNe was the closest of everyone involved to Porsha, she her opinion carried a great deal of weight. But then Leakes went off herself and told Porsha immediately after her lunch with Kandi. She spilled all the Dennis-relatde tea. Here’s where it gets complicated and oh so very Real Housewive-y: NeNe didn’t want anyone to know she relayed everything to Porsha. Except Porsha didn’t really get the memo because she later drank wine with Leakes, Kandi and Cynthia and just kept bringing up Dennis every chance she could. Finally, Kandi felt a need to jump in. “Okay, lemme just say this, child,” Burress said before explaining to Williams what she had heard about her lover. Kandi then looked directly (that is, disapprovingly ) at NeNe, who tried to play ignorant. “I wanna know how I’m involved,” NeNe replied. “Hello, Kandi. Hello. Hello. Heller. Hellerrr. See, I don’t get involved in people’s relationships.” Viewers, of course, knew this to be a lie. So did Porsha. Cut to a confessional and Williams saying the following: “NeNe came to me, and NeNe was like, ‘Well, I think she didn’t tell you because she was worried about how you’d react.'” It actually sounded for real as if Porsha didn’t know that NeNe told her all that Dennis stuff in confidance. But after Williams basically outed Leakes to everyone else last night, NeNe went ahead and sent the message above, outing Porsha from her life forever. Confused? We don’t blame you. Use the video/link below to watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta online now and get caught up! Watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 10 Episode 22 Online
We have ourselves a real Alien vs Predator situation, because there’s no good guy in this feud. Whoever wins, we lose. Danielle Bregoli wants Iggy Azalea to cash her ousside . To make the scenario even sweeter, it happened at a Cardi B party. After Danielle hurled a drink at Iggy, the two went off on each other on social media. On Wednesday, November 14, the Fashion Nova X Cardi B launch party saw a bit of a tiff between two guests. This time, nobody was throwing shoes — but instead it was a drink that hurtled through the air. Iggy Azalea took to social media at the party to share that she was attacked — sort of — by Danielle Bregoli. “Am I just going to have a half and half wig for the rest of the night?” Iggy asked. “So the Dr. Phil girl is really upset about me apparently,” she said, bewildered. “And thought I’d fight a child?!” “LOL Anyway!” Iggy said, eager to move on. “The fashion nova party is LIT!” Danielle Bregoli took to social media herself to explain her beef with Iggy. “It’s simple,” Danielle writes. “Don’t talk all sorts of s–t on the internet and n [sic] come up to me like u [sic] my friend.” “Some of these hoes like u [sic] fake n [sic] 2 faced [sic] as f–k,” Danielle accuses. “But,” Danielle says. “I’m not that bich [sic].” Well that clears things up. (We think that she’s saying that she believes that Iggy was disparaging her online prior to the party) Iggy later elaborated on social media in a series of tweets. “I literally was standing there taking pictures wide open no security,” she shares. “Felt water thrown on my wig.” For the record, Danielle also confirmed that it was water. So, at least nobody handed the now 15-year-old rapper vodka to yeet. “Turned around and saw all these people scuffling and screaming,” she continues. “I thought there was a fight in that section.” There sort of was — and she was part of it. “I was confused as f–k about what was going on,” Iggy admits. “Then some fat girl started yelling and my friend raven jumped over a sofa and was tryna fight that fat girl,” Iggy adds. Charming. “I saw some red hair,” Iggy’s recollection of the evening continues. “And saw it was the Dr Phil girl.” Iggy is all kinds of problematic, but we have to give her props for declining to even use Danielle’s name. “I couldn’t hear a thing she said,” Iggy elaborates. “It’s a club and she was far.” “The security escorted her out,” Iggy says. “And she logged on to the gram from the parking lot I guess to claim her clout for what I don’t know,” she adds. Iggy says that she didn’t let it bother her: “I stayed and enjoyed the night.” “No one approached me,” she adds. “Her own babysitters moved her further and further way from me until I couldn’t see her,” Iggy reveals. “It was some ‘hold me back’ fake fight reality TV vibes,” Iggy characterizes. “Then she was escorted out.” That sounds positively surreal. Danielle continued to lash out on social media. “Glad u left wit a bag,” she said of Iggy’s gift bag. “Cuz u certainly ain’t making no money from music anymore.” We know that Danielle is an up-and-coming rapper whose music is breaking records , but that’s an odd insult. Iggy is still a big-name rapper and her estimated net worth is twice Danielle’s. Also, Iggy is not currently on probation. Danielle cannot honestly say the same. View Slideshow: 21 Celebrity Feuds We Never Saw Coming
Last week, Kanye West was forced to flee as shots were fired on set . Also, everywhere near his primary residence is on fire. Now, he’s facing accuastions from Lorde that he totally ripped off her stage designs for his shows. And she has the photo comparisons to back up her claim. Kanye West and Kid Cudi’s “Kids See Ghosts” Tour has attracted the wrong kind of attention. Lorde, the absolute legend who won a Grammy before graduating high school, took to her Instagram Stories. There, she shared a series of images noting what she found to be a suspicious similarity between her tour’s stage design and Kanye’s. The suspended box design, creating a second floor to the stage without taking up any stage space, is pretty difficult to miss. Did Kanye really steal the work? Lorde suggests so with a few words. “I’m proud of the work I do,” Lorde wrote in reflection. “And it’s flattering when other artists feel inspired by it,” she continued. Lorde clarified about that flattered feeling: “to the extent that they choose to try it on themselves.” “But don’t steal,” she insists. “Not from women or anyone else,” Lorde writes. “Not in 2018 or ever.” Es Devlin is a designer who has worked closely with Lorde. “It’s hard to come up with stuff that feels new,” Lorde shared in 2017. “And with the tank it felt weird and interesting and quite specific to me,” Lorde shared. She spoke of her collaboration with Devlin: “The two of us just built it from the ground up, bouncing ideas back and forth.” Devlin has also very notably worked with Kanye for many, many years. In an apparent response to Lorde’s post, Devlin made a post on Instagram showing a similar “box” in the opera, Carmen , by Georges Bizet. Interestingly, this isn’t the first time that someone has noticed that Kanye’s stage design seems similar to another. Last time, it was this image (above) of hanging lights. Kim Kardashian herself took aim at Saint Laurent, suggesting that Kanye’s set design had been ripped off. (One could argue that no one gets to lay claim to the concept of hanging lights, but it really doesn’t matter) That makes defending Kanye against Lorde a little complicated. That is, assuming that Ye has any defenders left who aren’t in his bed or on his payroll. Some could cynically suggest that Lorde is being opportunistic. Lorde is famously friends with Taylor Swift. Even more famously, Taylor and Kanye have a serious beef. In 2016, Kim orchestrated Taylor’s temporary downfall. Now, however, Taylor is back. Meanwhile, Kanye chose 2018 as the year to purge himself of any lingering goodwill that the public may have for him. Is Lorde just kicking Kanye while he’s down by attacking his art? So, did Lorde jump the gun by indirectly accusing Kanye of ripping off her work? Did Kanye and Lorde just come up with similar ideas? (Great trains run along the same tracks, if Kanye is still considered to be “great”) Or did Es Devlin rip off a design from an opera and then pass it off to both artists? We would suggest that it’s more likely (and also kinder) to suggest that no one is stealing from anyone. Stages only have so many possible designs, folks. That said, we can understand why Lorde might be sensitive on the topic. There is a widespread phenomenon, from business meetings to the art world, of men duplicating a woman’s ideas and receiving credit for it. It’s good to be on guard for that — even if you might, occassionally, be mistaken. View Slideshow: 21 Celebrity Feuds We Never Saw Coming
Cardi B and Nicki Minaj are feuding. It's intense, but at least nobody's throwing shoes anymore. Cardi claims that she passed over working with artists like Little Mix, and that Nicki is essentially getting her leftovers . Nicki's stans believe Nicki, Cardi's stans believe Cardi, and most people are just enjoying watching the two fight. After Cardi ranted and raved and invited Nicki to physically fight, Nicki had a counter-proposal. Nicki said that Cardi doesn't write her own lyrics … and “offered” for them to both take lie detector tests to prove it. Naturally, as soon as someone mentioned that, The Maury Show had to weigh in. Twitter is losing their minds over this whole beef. Take a look. 1. Nicki calls for peace As you will see, some applauded her appeal to reason. Others weren’t buying it. 2. Did someone say “lie detector?” The Maury Show is famous for their love of texts and then revealing the results after a lot of dramatic build-up. 3. Maury got some replies One person was Team Nicki, another was Team Cardi, and another was just there to enjoy the feud. That more or less sums up Twitter’s reaction to this whole thing. 4. Someone is betting on Cardi This fight sequence is one hell of an illustration of how this person imagines that the fight would go down 5. Team Cardi spoke out From their point of view, Cardi had come with plenty of receipts — in addition to her hot-headed threats. 6. Some Cardi fans think Nicki is envious We’re leery of cherry-picked lists, but it’s clear that these two very talented women do not get along View Slideshow
Breaking news: Meghan Markle is pregnant with her first child! She and Prince Harry are expecting sometime next spring. Okay, so you probably heard that last week. But speculation about the newest royal baby’s name is already heating up! Despite unconfirmed reports that Meghan is having a boy, and that Harry wants a girl , they’ve yet to confirm their offspring’s gender. That’s not about to stop us from weighing in on her child – specifically what the Duke and Duchess of Sussex should name it. Let’s just say that if she listens to our staff writers, she’ll have plenty of options for an idea that … wait … wait … Suits her. HILTON HATER Suits has given Meghan Markle so much already: it was through the show that she first came to global prominence. The Pearson Darby storyline from Season 2 guided her through her first British merger. And as she was born Rachel Meghan Markle, choosing to take her middle name professionally, the show even gave her the opportunity to reclaim her birth name as Rachel Zane. It is only fitting, then, that Suits provide the Duchess with the name of her first child. But which name to pick? Unfortunately, the show’s three mainstays are out, as Harvey, Donna and Lewis are terrible first names. How about finding inspiration in the last names, then? After all, Markle’s love life has been bereft of last names: on Suits, she married Mike Ross, a man with two first names. And in real life, she married Prince Harry, a man with no last name. Again, this is a no-go: Specter is out, as naming a child after the organization out to kill James Bond is probably not the best way for a foreigner to ingratiate one’s self with the British populace. As is Zane, as the break-up of One Direction is a wound far too fresh for England to reopen, even with a slight spelling change. But perhaps there is something with Zane after all. Suits never lacked for drama, but it, like all shows, will eventually come to an end. The only drama that lasts forever is family drama. While Markle has largely stayed above the muck that her estranged family keeps wading into, the naming of her child provides an opportunity for her to end that drama once and for all: name the child “Robert” after Robert Zane, her father on Suits and the best father figure Markle has ever had. TYLER JOHNSON For a boy: Harvey. Generally, royal babies are given traditional names like Henry or Aethelred, so that if they wind up ascending to the throne due to freak accident or bloody war of succession, they can just slap a Roman numeral on the end and be done with it. I say that’s lame, and it’s for nerds. It worked for centuries, because the royal family is comprised entirely of lame nerds. But Meghan Markle is cool and hot and she’s from Hollywood, which is why, if she has a son, she should name it … Harvey. Hear me out! It’s been rough year for that particular moniker, but not all Harveys are sexual predators. Before she became the Duchess of Sussex, Meg was best known for her role on Suits, and her boss on the show was named Harvey Specter. Yes, her husband on the show was named Mike, but you can’t give a royal baby such a basic-ass name. No one wants to bow before King Mike. So christening the wee lad Harvey would be a great way to honor Meghan’s past while also reclaiming what could be a cool name and preventing future generations from associating it with a sweaty scrotum monster. I’d be lying if I told you I knew I’d end up using that phrase in an article about baby names. For a girl: Tatiana. Ha! All the Suits fans out there thought I was gonna go with Rachel, in honor of Meghan’s character on the show. Well, I’ve got a surprise for both of you! Yes, I’m once again paying tribute to MegMar’s acting career, but unlike all you bandwagon-jumpers, I’m aware that her most essential contribution to the world of cinema is her uncredited role as Tatiana in the largely forgotten Russell Brand-Jonah Hill classic Get Him to the Greek . (Her part as a Fed Ex girl who gets hit on by Jason Sudeikis in Horrible Bosses is a close second.) If I’m being completely honest, I had no idea Meghan was even in that movie until I Googled her filmography five minutes ago, and it looks as though her scene has been buried by the sands of time – if it even made the final cut. But that’s neither here nor there. At its core, this idea is about my desire to see the look on the Queen’s face when Harry and Meghan tell her they’re naming their daughter Tatiana because of a Russell Brand movie, a moment that I hope they would capture on video and put on YouTube for the world’s amusement. This has been the first installment in my series on the many ways in which the royal family could be way cooler. EMILY TRAINHAM If you grew up wanting to be a parent, there’s a good chance you’ve spent at least a little bit of time thinking about baby names. And if you meet an actual prince then fall in love with him and decide to get married, and you have some weird obligation to make more little baby princes and princesses … You DEFINITELY have some names floating around in your head. What we’re saying is that Meghan and Harry are probably way, way ahead of us in thinking of potential names for their baby. So we have a lot of catching up to do! First of all, let’s go ahead and throw out the name everyone’s going to be thinking of: Diana. Sure, William and Kate used it as like the third name for their daughter, but it’s not like they own the name, you know? But then again, Meghan is pretty much the coolest thing that ever happened to the royal family, so that might not be hip or original enough for her. Maybe they’ll go with something that ends in “-ayden,” right? A lot of people seem to be into that. Or just a random but adorable noun, like River or Olive or Lamp. Let’s see, one of her old dogs was named Bogart, so maybe they could reference some classic movie star? Hepburn? Monroe? Brando? Ooh, ooh, or Grace Kelly, because she was a Hollywood star who became a princess, just like Meghan?! But you know what? This whole thing would be way more fun if we all didn’t know that what’s going to happen is that they’re going to pick some old, boring name. James, Mary, Victoria, Henry … Basically open up a history book, find the section about all the British kings and queens and their kids and dogs or whatever, and that’s where you’ll find your Harkle baby name. Such a waste. SIMON DELOTT What Harry and Meghan name their first child is a deeply personal choice that will reflect who they are as people as well as their child’s relation to the royal family. So, naturally, I’m sure that they’d love to hear my opinion. Alexander or Alexandra remain arguably great names, because they fall within the traditional names of British nobility and are also normal names. William and Kate made similarly good choices with George and Charlotte but then stumbled on that front with Louis. Louis is very royal but only a “normal” name if you are a duckling who wears green. But while variations of Alex may be good choices, they’re not super interesting. We have already mentioned that Harry’s children will not have princely titles unless his grandmother intervenes to make it so. By default, it is expected that Harry’s eldest son will be an Earl at birth. So Harry and Meghan should just name their son Earl. It’s a dignified name and will effectively strong-arm the Queen into giving him a better title so that he doesn’t go around being called Earl Earl. Instead, he’ll just grow up with resentments, like a normal child, and with no great love for the Dixie Chicks. View Slideshow: The 35 Most Ridiculous Celebrity Baby Names of All Time If they have a daughter, they should name her America. To be clear, that’s after America Chavez, a really great superhero. By coincidence, it’ll be an eternal and glaring reminder of the land of Meghan’s birth. You know, in case anyone forgets.
