Move over, Human Barbie . Here comes the Living Doll. At 15, Venus Palermo has grown into her doll obsession … sort of literally. Under the username Venus Angelic, the London teen posts beauty tutorials on YouTube. Living Doll Venus Palermo According to Venus, you too could be a ball-jointed doll (or BJD). Her doll-like appearance has turned her into an Internet star, and a magnet for controversy. Based on her 5 million viewers and a legion of Facebook fans, people take her advice on pupil contacts, plastic-sheen-effect powder, and white eye shadow to heart. But at what cost? The modern BJD is widely popular in Japan, which Venus is obsessed with. “Mommy cooks Japanese, thinks Japanese, goes to Japan with me,” writes Palermo on her blog. ” “Because we like it. Liking something, is soooooo GREAT!” Palermo’s obsession has attracted many a critic. Her videos have been called “bizarre” and “disturbing” in the media; her uncanny appearance is raising red flags. Perverse comments on the 15-year-old’s videos is proof she’s attracting unsavory fans. So is the occasional grown man trolling her Facebook page. But the teen’s mom doesn’t appear to be intervening in her daughter’s risky hobby. Mom serves as host of Q&A chats between teenager and fans. In one video posted last year, she sat by while the teenager chatted with a 24-year-old male who professed his love and then proceeded to belittle her. In text under that video, posted to VenusAngelic’s channel, Palermo refers to her fans as “lovers.” The title of the video is “Insane Guy in Love.” “The case of Venus Angelic is uncomfortably exploitative, as there is clearly a sexual undertone to what she is doing,” says Hilary Levey Friedman, PhD. “In general, young girls on YouTube is a disturbing, growing trend,” she says noting the recent trend of pre-teen girls asking viewers if they’re pretty. In many cases, parents are unaware of their child’s webcam usage, until their uploads go viral. But in other instances, the parents are facilitators. Levey Friedman wonders about Palermo’s mom’s aspirations for her, noting that Justin Bieber’s mom helped get his career get off the ground. The YouTube stage parent is relatively new concept. Most kids rise to viral fame for just being kids, and if a parent profits off of that they’re criticized. The rare performing prodigy, like Bieber, is an exception. Palermo doesn’t fall into either category. She may be bringing a Japanese trend to Western teens, but she’s also attracting a largely unwanted fan-base. What do you think? Harmless fun? Or too much, too soon?
Katt Williams and Suge Knight got into a huge fight outside a Hollywood club Friday night, just hours after the comedian’s arrest (the most recent one). Following Katt Williams’ arrest for child endangerment, he was seen alongside Knight as Suge popped some guy and nearly mowed down others in his SUV. Katt Williams, Suge Knight Club Fight A massive brawl erupted outside Eden nightclub, with Suge trying to go after someone as Katt gets away from the action, walking behind a dumpster. It’s not clear why, but Suge connects with a punch as he and Katt, who he manages, make their way to black SUV while being chased by someone. Katt evades pursuit and enters the vehicle; Suge then gets into a white SUV and floors it, nearly hitting several people on his way out of the parking lot. Just another day in the life of this modern-day Bonnie and Clyde. Katt and Suge were detained and cited by police a little over a week ago as Williams was busted outside Subway while Knight was getting a mani-pedi . Seriously, he was. But at least they got sandwiches afterward. Following his child endangerment arrest, but before the brawl erupted, he shared some thoughts on what happened, as well as gun control , with TMZ. Katt’s take on having guns around kids? How are you supposed to protect them without guns? Also, he suggests his arrest was racially motivated: Katt Williams on Arrest
Dear Bossip , I am 33-years old. I married my boyfriend of two and half years in January. We’re in love, but I went through our phone records and noticed he had been texting and calling his ex-girlfriend. I called her and she stated she thought I knew and that I didn’t mind. Suddenly, after six months, he decided to tell her I did mind and their so-called friendship ended. My husband now works at a distribution center were if they don’t have work he is released early. I feel uneasy about his work schedule so we started arguing. I started dropping him off at work and just still felt uneasy. We argue more and I just feel this fool is doing something, but I can’t prove it. I want to call his job or follow him to work. I just don’t want to because really I don’t know what I would do. You might see me in the news, but at this point I check his phone records and there is nothing. No one calls, or emails and texts. I just feel he has a slicker way to go about things. Some women will take 10 minutes just to see a man. I know because I was there once, and plus, he used to talk to a lot of women. He says I’m a drama queen, bull-ish starter, but I feel it’s something he is doing and I just can’t prove it. So what should I do? The old me would move around, but this time I’m married and can’t just do it. If I don’t do something I’m going to hurt him. Plus, he is a full-blown liar. He can never tell the truth. If I’m right he starts to argue. I’ve become violent, but I’m trying. What should I do? Plus there is more. He has a (loser) baby mama and two kids that are in elementary school. She is actually in jail right now and we just found out his son can’t read and no one ever told us. I’m ready to pack up and bounce out on him. What’s holding me back is I relocated from another state without him, and my kids are getting a good education. Also, both my kids love him. He also comes home every day, but he told me he stays at work in the parking lot doing nothing because he is not sure how I would feel today. I believe this is just some more bull-ish he just says!! Should I just leave him?? I want to fight for us but lately it’s been physical! – Tired Of Lies Dear Ms. Tired Of Lies , Girl, please stop! Just stop all this drama and madness that you are creating. Ugh! I agree with him. You seem like a drama queen. All this drama going on and you are making it bigger than what it is. Chile, either you trust him or you don’t. Either you leave or you stay. Don’t go back and forth making this a bigger issue than it is. If he told his ex that it bothers you that you two are communicating, and you can’t find any evidence that they are still in contact with one another, then perhaps the situation is dead! And, if you are still snooping through the phone records, and the other measures you are going through, and yet, there is no evidence of him doing anything, then perhaps he isn’t! Yes, he could have gotten smarter, but from what you said about him I don’t think he’s that bright. I’m just saying. Therefore, stop creating the stress and drama in your life. Your relationship is going down the tubes, and you are at the root of it. You’re going to wake up one morning and find yourself alone, but it won’t matter because you’re going to justify your behavior, and pushing him away because that’s just the type of person you are. Now, moving along. There are a few things I’ve noticed between you two, in which I’ve also noticed with lots of married couples who rush down the aisle. Have you two discussed what monogamy is? Did you two sit with one another and talk about commitment and what it is? Did you go to marriage counseling before getting married? Have you two discussed that once you were dating and got married that he would have to delete all his numbers and contact with the women he was involved with? Yes, common sense would tell a man to delete and get rid of all his other women he was intimate with at one time, but sometimes you have to go the extra mile for pure measure and remind him. “Uhm, sweetie, this is how this dating and married thing works. You will delete all your exes, and any other woman you’ve been intimate with, talked with, or was trying to get to know. You are married now. You have no need for those other women. There is no need for you to keep in touch with any ex. I am your present, and your future. Your past is your past. So, in order for this to work, and if you want a happy wife, then be a man and act like a husband.” Next, you mention he is a liar. Ma’am, that’s not breaking news. You knew he was a liar before you married him. So, what made you think things would change after you walked down the aisle? He is a liar. He will always lie to you. He may want to be honest, and he may want to tell you the truth, but he doesn’t know how. Teach him. Train him. Instead of arguing with him over his lying, create other repercussions for his behavior. He knows how you’re going to respond when he lies. Hell, I even know what you are going to do when he lies. You start an argument, you fight, and then you make up. However, it doesn’t rectify his lying. He knows you, and he knows what to do next time, and how it will end. So, therefore, create other repercussions for his behavior. Next, he mentioned that he stays in the parking lot at work because he doesn’t know how you’re going to be on those days. You think it’s bull-ish, but in reality it’s some real –ish! That is the sign of an unhappy man. He is tired of you. Tired of you berating him. Tired of you chastising him. Tired of you making him feel like he never does anything right. Uhm, sweetie, you keep it up and one day he is going to leave and never return. No man wants to come home to an angry, bitter, and upset woman on a daily basis. How would you feel if every day you walked into your house and your man was berating you, talking down to you as soon as you walked through the door? Chile, you would start plotting and planning your exit. Ain’t nobody got time for all that! LOL! The home is his castle. The place where he should feel like a king, and not a pauper. The place where he can be at peace, and find love. Create that environment, and you will get the man you want coming home every day. Create that space, and your man will shape up, instead of shipping out. Finally, you have discovered that one of his children can’t read. Uhm, instead of complaining, help the damn child! Find some resources for the child so he can learn how to read. Why are you complaining, and getting your panties in a bunch? You inherited his children, as well as he has inherited yours. Therefore, treat that child like family and get the child some help. Why don’t you sit with the child and read with them? Instead of making the child wrong, or those who didn’t tell you that the child couldn’t read, then how about working together to get the child some help? Jeezus! You grown folks are truly special. This poor child is struggling through school and you are demeaning the child? You see the pattern and behavior that you have? Who wants to come home to that every day? Girl, work on yourself before you start trying to work on others. Look, your man seems like he is trying. He seems like he’s made some adjustments, however, it’s you who has not made any adjustments. So, readjust your attitude. Stop walking around with the screw face, and your lips turned up. You’re going to mess up your face, and no one is attracted to a woman with a scowl on her face. And, you have you stank attitude. No ma’am. Sit with your man, and talk. Don’t argue. Talk. Listen to what he is says, and then come up with a way to make your marriage a happy and loving one. Please talk with one another as adults instead of suspicious spouses. He is a grown a** man, just like you are a grown a** woman. Stop going through his phone, and you’re married. If you don’t trust him, then get out of the marriage. Otherwise, at some point, you’re going to have to stop holding the reigns, and his nuts. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Dear Bossip , First let me tell you I like that you are always giving it to people real. Tough love is the best way to get through a thick skull. Mr. Dean I am in a struggle with my mind and my heart. I have friend whom I have been friends with for over 12 years and I do not agree with most of her lifestyle choices. Normally I am not bothered by those choices because they do not directly affect my life, but most recently she has asked me to be in her wedding. My problem is I am a strong believer in marriage and I believe those who cannot be faithful should get married. My friend is one of those people. Since she has been engaged she has slept with two rap stars (one of them is also recently engaged), an ex-boyfriend, a friend, and she has had not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 abortions. None of those pregnancies were by her fiancé either. I tried to talk to her to show her without coming off as a hater that she is not acting like a woman who is engaged to be married. But, it is like talking to a brick wall. She claims that once she says, “I Do,” that her cheating ways will be behind her. I do not buy it. The man she is engaged to seems to be a really committed man. They have one child together and she has a child from a previous relationship that he wants to adopt. Every time I think what she is out there doing I want to knock her over head because she putting this man and her child’s lives at risk, not to mention a lot of women have a hard time finding a good man. I am in a struggle with my morals and my duty as a friend. I do not want to be in a wedding that goes against everything I believe in and I do not think I can attend the wedding either. I am not sure if when the pastor asks, “Does anyone know a reason these two cannot be wed” that I won’t scream, “I object.” I am deep in my faith and I cannot watch my friend lie before God. So, my question to you is should I walk away from this friendship so I do not compromise my morals or just stand in line at her wedding asking God to forgive me? – Confused Friend Dear Ms. Confused Friend, Chile, mind your business. Mind your business. Mind your business. I understand that she is your friend and you are concerned about her and her judgments as a woman. But, she is grown. She is an adult. And, the choices she has, and is making are a result of something much deeper than what you hope to object to in her being married. Who knows what she is dealing with emotionally and mentally? Something could have happened to her as a child and this is behavior is a result of that, or those incidents. She probably hasn’t, nor won’t tell you about them because she may be too embarrassed to discuss. But, let’s discuss the fact that you have been friends for 12 years, and you mean to tell me that in all those years you did not say anything to her about her behavior and lifestyle choices? After four abortions something should have told you that something is not right with her, and she needs some serious therapy and psychological help. Also, the fact that she is sleeping around aimlessly with various men should have also clued you in that she is dealing with issues that are deeply rooted emotionally and mentally. Or, perhaps you were benefitting from her relationships and living vicariously through her as she was spreading her legs from the east to the west coast. If she is screwing rappers, and she is benefitting from those relationships, then guess who else is benefitting from them? You are! You’re her friend, and when she comes to you with some free tickets to a concert, or hanging out in VIP popping bottles, and she’s tricking off his money, guess who is right there with her enjoying those benefits? You are! So, did it bother then, or did you 12 years later develop some morals and values and think you’re better than her? So, she is getting married, and her fiancé may or may not know about her lifestyle or past. What are you going to do about it? Reveal to him what she has been doing and break up their relationship. Maybe he knows. Maybe she has been forthright with him and it doesn’t bother him. Maybe he has his demons as well and she is willing to accept his, as well as he accepts hers. Just because you think he’s a nice guy that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a past. We all have a past. So, whatever arrangements the two of them, it has nothing to do with you. Their relationship is not your concern. Their relationship is between them. It doesn’t involve you or concern you. MIND YOUR BUSINESS. I’m here to tell you that interfering in someone else’s relationship is a recipe for disaster. You may have good intentions and want the best for all parties, especially for your friend, but putting your nose into something you know nothing about, or don’t have all the details or information about, then do what you do best, MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Because if you say something, and get too involved in their relationship, and they end up breaking up, and she tells him what you said, but they end up working things out and get back together, then guess what? You’re the a**ed out friend who butted into their business, and they both will shun you and not invite you to their wedding. MIND YOUR BUSINESS. If it bothers you that much what she is doing, and you don’t approve of her life or choices, then end your friendship. Don’t go to the wedding and you won’t have to be offended. Don’t sit up there in the front with your bridesmaid gown on rolling your eyes and sucking your teeth. Save your money, and wish her the best and move on with your life. And, unless she has asked you for your opinion about her life, and what she’s doing, and whom she’s doing, then you talking and giving your opinion and advice is all in vain. I am a firm believer that unless someone asks you for your opinion and advice, then you do not offer it. Sometimes folks just like to vent, or share, therefore, you should reserve all your judgments and opinions because it has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t affect your life, situation, or circumstance. If they ask you what you think, then say something, but until then keep your mouth shut, and MIND YOUR BUSINESS! If she asks you for your insights, then you can let her know that you support her, and you want the best for her, but you cannot support her choices and decisions because they are detrimental to her and others. And, you truly want the best for her, and for her to have a happy life. And, if this is what makes her happy, then as my grandmother would say, “If you like it, I love it.” Don’t take her drama and issues with you into the New Year. Leave them in 2012, and you move on with a new attitude for 2013. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
He was already dragged to court back in 2010 for nonpayments for his first son. Braylon, Jr. According to The New York Post … New York Jets wide receiver Braylon Edwards is being sued for child support again after fathering a second love child with yet another woman, Page Six can exclusively reveal. Edwards, 29, is being sued in Manhattan Family Court by stunning fashion blogger Ashton Whittington after she gave birth to a son, Ashton Arthur Whittington, who is now 18 months old. The NFL star — who joined the Jets earlier this month after tweeting “idiots calling shots” were ruining the team and makes his return in tonight’s game — was also sued in 2010 by “America’s Next Top Model” contestant Nik Pace with whom he secretly fathered a son, Braylon Jr., now 3. A source tells us, “Braylon and Ashton had a relationship, and around the time he was arrested in September 2010 [for DWI], she became pregnant. They are no longer together. He knows about his son and is paying interim child support, but Ashton is suing for a more formal child support agreement.” In the earlier case, we exclusively revealed that Pace was suing Edwards for child support in 2010. He’d tried to have the case heard in Georgia, hoping “to pay less money.” He was served in New York after Pace’s attorney Lauren Mallin , who happened to be dining at the same restaurant, Philippe, went to his table and handed him the papers. Edwards later settled with Pace here and agreed to pay support, which sources say is much lower than Pace’s reported $70,000-a-month demand. Now Whittington has hired top lawyer Mallin, who tells us, “We expect Mr. Edwards to provide appropriate support for his child.” In March, Edwards tweeted his undying love to most recent girlfriend Victoria Bow, “I will never let you down. You are my world . . . My twin, my soul, my earth, my beginning and my end. Damn, I am on top of the world.” A Jets rep declined to comment. Edwards’ lawyer Howard Michael Rudolph said he is “honoring his financial obligations, and there is an agreed [temporary] order in place.” SMH Images via twitter
Yeah, she’s DEFINITELY in Al Qaeda…smh TSA Detained A Wheelchair-Bound 12 Year Old With Explosives Traces On Her Hands Via NYDailyNews A wheelchair-bound girl suffering from a crippling bone disease was temporarily detained by TSA officials in Texas after she tested positive for traces of explosive materials. Twelve-year-old Shelbi Walser, who suffers from a genetic bone disorder called Brittle Bone Disease, was held for nearly an hour at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport after TSA officials detected traces of explosives on her hands, Dallas ABC affiliate WFAA-TV reported. Walser, who was left in tears after the ordeal, was flying to Tampa, Fla., with her mother to receive treatment for her condition on Sunday, when she was randomly selected for a security screening, the girl’s mom, Tammy Daniels told WFAA. After TSA officials swabbed the girl’s hands, she tested positive for traces of explosives. Being that the girl is confined to a wheelchair, there is no telling where the “traces” could have come from. “It could have come off fertilizer because we have chickens,” Walser said. “I could have run through something from them. It could have just come off the ground because I roll through everything,” “I was just scared because I didn’t know what they were going to do,” the frightened girl added. Shelbi’s mother understand’s airport safety, but isn’t very happy with how her child was treated by TSA. “I am by no means undermining our safety in the air,” she said. “After 9/11, by no means am I doing that. But, when it comes to children, common sense is not in a textbook.” TSA says: “We are sensitive to the concerns of passengers who were not satisfied with their screening experience and we invite those individuals to provide feedback to TSA through a variety of channels,” the TSA statement read. “We work to balance those concerns with the very real threat that our adversaries will attempt to use explosives to carry out attacks on planes.” One of these TSA agents is gonna catch a serious fade one day with all these inappropriate screening practices. Do you think TSA oversteps their boundaries or are they just doing their job?? Image via WFAA
The shooter killed his mother first before he ran rampant in the school. Via the Associated Press : Nancy Lanza’s body was found later at their home on Yoganda Street in Newtown – after the carnage at Sandy Hook Elementary School; after a quiet New England town was scarred forever by unthinkable tragedy; after a nation seemingly inured to violence found itself stunned by the slaughter of innocents. Nobody knows why 20-year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, why he then took her guns to the school and murdered 20 children and six adults. But on Friday he drove his mother’s car through this 300-year-old town with its fine old churches and towering trees, and arrived at a school full of the season’s joy. Somehow, he got past a security door to a place where children should have been safe from harm. Theodore Varga and other fourth-grade teachers were meeting; the glow remained from the previous night’s fourth-grade concert. “It was a lovely day,” Varga said. “Everybody was joyful and cheerful. We were ending the week on a high note.” And then, suddenly and unfathomably, gunshots rang out. “I can’t even remember how many,” he said. The fourth-graders, the oldest kids in the school, were in specialty classes like gym and music. There was no lock on the meeting room door, so the teachers had to think about how to escape, knowing that their students were with other teachers. Someone turned the loudspeaker on, so everyone could hear what was happening in the office. “You could hear the hysteria that was going on,” Varga said. “Whoever did that saved a lot of people. Everyone in the school was listening to the terror that was transpiring.” Gathered in another room for a 9:30 meeting were principal Dawn Hochsprung and Diane Day, a school therapist, along with a school psychologist, other staff members and a parent. They were meeting to discuss a second-grader. “We were there for about five minutes chatting, and we heard Pop! Pop!, Pop!” Day told The Wall Street Journal. “I went under the table.” But Hochsprung and the psychologist leaped out of their seats and ran out of the room, Day recalled. “They didn’t think twice about confronting or seeing what was going on,” she said. Hochsprung was killed, and the psychologist was believed to have been killed as well. A custodian ran around, warning people there was a gunman, Varga said. “He said, `Guys! Get down! Hide!’” Varga said. “So he was actually a hero.” Did he survive? The teacher did not know. In a first-grade classroom, teacher Kaitlin Roig heard the shots. She immediately barricaded her 15 students into a tiny bathroom, sitting one of them on top of the toilet. She pulled a bookshelf across the door and locked it. She told the kids to be “absolutely quiet.” “I said, `There are bad guys out there now. We need to wait for the good guys,’” she told ABC News. “The kids were being so good,” she said. “They asked, `Can we go see if anyone is out there?’ `I just want Christmas. I don’t want to die, I just want to have Christmas.’ I said, `You’re going to have Christmas and Hanukkah.’” One student claimed to know karate. “It’s OK. I’ll lead the way out,” the student said. In the gym, crying fourth-graders huddled in a corner. One of them was 10-year-old Philip Makris. “He said he heard a lot of loud noises and then screaming,” said his mother, Melissa Makris. “Then the gym teachers immediately gathered the children in a corner and kept them safe.” Another girl who was in the gym recalled hearing “like, seven loud booms.” “The gym teacher told us to go in a corner, so we all huddled and I kept hearing these booming noises,” the girl, who was not identified by name, told NBC News. “We all started – well, we didn’t scream; we started crying, so all the gym teachers told us to go into the office where no one could find us.” An 8-year-old boy described how a teacher saved him. “I saw some of the bullets going past the hall that I was right next to, and then a teacher pulled me into her classroom,” said the boy, who was not identified by CBSNews.com. Robert Licata said his 6-year-old son was in class when the gunman burst in and shot the teacher. “That’s when my son grabbed a bunch of his friends and ran out the door,” he said. “He was very brave. He waited for his friends.” He said the shooter didn’t utter a word. “Then our teacher, somebody, yelled, `Get to a safe place.’ Then we went to a closet in the gym and we sat there for a little while, and then the police were, like, knocking on the door and they were, like, `We’re evacuating people, we’re evacuating people,’ so we ran out.” Children, warned to close their eyes so they could not see the product of his labors, were led away from their school. Parents rushed to the scene. Family members walked away from a firehouse that was being used as a staging area, some of them openly weeping. One man, wearing a T-shirt without a jacket, put his arms around a woman as they walked down the middle of the street, oblivious to everything around them. Gov. Dannel P. Malloy and other public officials came to the firehouse. So did clergymen like Monsignor Robert Weiss of Newtown’s St. Rose Roman Catholic Church. He watched as parents came to realize that they would never see their children alive again. “All of them were hoping their child would be found OK. But when they gave out the actual death toll, they realized their child was gone,” Weiss said. He recalled the reaction of the brother of one of the victims. “They told a little boy it was his sister who passed on,” Weiss said. “The boy’s response was, `I’m not going to have anyone to play with.” We’ll keep you updated on this developing story… Images via twitter
How sad is this…? Mother Shot And Killed Outside Brooklyn Hospital While Daughter Suffered Asthma Attack Via NYDailyNews A 32-year-old mother was fatally shot Tuesday outside a Brooklyn hospital where her 8-year-old daughter was being treated for asthma, police sources said. Shalema Gaskin was with her daughter and the child’s father at Brookdale University Hospital when she left to check on another child at her Kings Highway apartment a block away shortly before 3:15 a.m., sources said. The father stayed at the 8-year-old’s bedside. A short time later, a passerby saw Gaskin bleeding from a bullet wound to her neck behind the hospital E. 98th St. and Hegeman Ave., police said. Gaskin was rushed into the emergency room, but she could not be saved. Image via TODD MAISEL/NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Come on VOGUE! Apparently being the child of Madonna means you grow up around a lot of really interesting characters who can either teach you how to Zoolander or body board with the best of them. Oh and nannies with nice fannies are a bonus. Rocco hung out with mom’s boytoy Brahim and a friend at the hotel pool in Sao Paulo while his sister Mercy and brother David Banda had a blast body boarding at Ipanema Beach with a nanny and security guard. GSIMedia
Dear Bossip , First, let me tell you that I love your column. You give the realest advice and I get the feeling you genuinely care about each individual you receive letters from. With that being said I think that I’ve lost my mind. My son’s dad and I broke up a couple of years ago due to infidelity on his part. A couple years go by and I’ve decided that I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. I prefer to just have sex and utilize my “block” app after, so no further contact will happen. The problem is I have met two guys maybe 3 months apart from each other. The first guy is really sweet and he gives me whatever I ask for and the sex is just okay. We’re both into the same type of things sexually and I like that. The second guy is someone who is nice but he is adamant that he’s not into “tricking” (this is his word) and refuses to do anything for me and sex with him is HORRIBLE, but he really is a good guy. Now please understand that I’ve always been in very long relationships and never really got the chance to explore the “hoe in me” side and I use protection every time by the way. I guess my question is that because I’m seeing two guys who don’t know about each other and they both want to be with me, is it wrong to continue to date both of them? I rarely have sex with either so I don’t think there’s a call on the play. Mind you, I’ve told both of these men that I do not want to be in anything serious. Your fan forever. – Feeling Kind of Hoe-Ish Dear Ms. Feeling Kind of Hoe-Ish , LOL! Girl, I love you!! You better do you and explore your inner-hoe! And, I love that you use the “block” app so when you’re done, you’re done. Ba-by! I am a big advocate of “block” and “delete.” Hell, for those I don’t want to be bothered with I even put “DNA” next to their name – DO NOT ANSWER. LOL! And, please don’t apologize for knowing what you want, and for doing you! Hell, there are more people who need to be honest with themselves and tell themselves the truth as opposed to fooling and tricking people into relationships, and then hurt others along the way. Chile, don’t get caught up in that. So, I’m saying, get your freak on, enjoy yourself, and date. That is what dating is all about. It’s exploring and meeting new and different people. You’re dating. You go out, get to know one another, and if you choose to then you engage in sex. You’re not committed to anyone, and you are enjoying yourself and spending time with people and getting to know them. And, there is nothing wrong with have sex, just as long as you keep using protection so that you won’t end up with another baby daddy, or some sexually transmitted disease. However, I am a firm believer in being honest with folks up front. Let them know, “I am not interested in a relationship. But, I am dating, and I am seeing other people. We are not exclusive. I do enjoy your company, and I enjoy spending time with you. I hope you can handle that, and who knows what the future holds. Perhaps there can be something more. But, in the meantime, I am dating, and getting to know you, just as you’re getting to know me.” You see how easy and simple that is? You see how saying this will save you a world of headaches? Because if you’re not honest and truthful with people upfront and they learn or discover that you are seeing other people, then they will feel mislead and deceived by your actions. Therefore, be honest and let the men you’re seeing know that you are dating. You don’t have to go into details about who you are dating, and discussing them about each other to each other. You’re dating. And, continue to be honest and letting know them that you’re not looking for a relationship at this time. Be honest. Be truthful. Hell, the man who told you that he wasn’t into “tricking” was honest with you. He let you know that he refuses to spend any money on you, but yet he wants to lay up with you. And, the sex is horrible. Chile, puhlease! Yeah, all you need to be doing with him is dating him. Tell him he needs to get his sex game up, and then he can use the disclaimer that he is not into “tricking.” Listen, girl, you’re free. You know what you want. And, you’re taking the necessary precautions on protecting yourself during sex. Girl, be the hoe! Hoe in the morning, noon, and evening. And, don’t let anyone’s judgment or opinion of you affect you. Until they are paying your bills, feeding you, and willing taking care of you and your child, then girl DO YOU! And, to answer your question if it’s wrong to continue dating both of them? Uhm, no it’s not. You’re dating. And, you already told them that you are not looking for anything serious. Now, hang from the rafters, and continue exploring the hoe in you. We all got a little hoe in us. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
