We're just going to come right out and say it: EARMUFFS, children! Okay, now we're going to come right out and get to the point: Men will do anything for a blowjob. We don't mean to generalize or stereotype here, but… yeah. It's true. Men will do anything for a blowjob. Just ask Hannah, a young woman who has been dating her boyfriend for about a year and who apparently is yet to provide him with any oral sex. After he started pushing for her mouth to be wrapped around his penis, Hannah replied by asking for a lengthy essay in support of this request. And the boyfriend took this assignment more seriously than anything since his SATs! Heck, who are we kidding: he took it far more seriously than he took his SATs! Follow along with this hilarious story below… 1. Persuade Me! Hannah means business. She’s looking for far more than “Ummm… because it will feel really good?” And just you wait, her boyfriend is about to deliver! 2. What is MLA Format? For those who require a better understanding of what is being asked for here. 3. … And He’s Off! Seriously, do you think anyone has ever typed more furiously in the history of the Internet? 4. Let Me Start By Saying… … To blow or not to blow? This is a parody of the well-echoed Shakespearean proverb that gauges the pros and cons and consequential successes and failures (the latter of which is indisputably improbable) of giving me a blowjob. 5. Do It for Diversity! In bed, but still. Diversity nonetheless. 6. Look at This Research! We’re not down with the term “sucky fucky.” But we’re blown (get it?!?) away from the research. View Slideshow
For much of their relationship, Paris Jackson and Debbie Rowe have been estranged . Following the death of Michael Jackson in 2009, Paris and her siblings were raised primarily by the late pop singer’s family and Paris has publicly criticized Rowe on more than one occasion. For a long time, it seemed the mother and daughter would never have a healthy relationship. That all changed in July of 2016, when Rowe was diagnosed with breast cancer . Shortly thereafter, she and her daughter patched up their differences, and Paris paid tribute to her cancer-stricken mom on social media, thus sending the message that a relationship she’d once given up on had taken on new importance in her life. In the months since, Paris has stood by her mother’s side as she endured the long and difficult process of chemo therapy. Today, she shared in the celebration, as Rowe completed her treatment: Paris posted the photo above, along with a caption reading: “My badass mom, kickin butt n takin names. ain’t she f–kin fabulous????” In a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight, Rowe opened up about the extent to which Paris has helped her through this difficult time: “[Paris] is my rock, she’s amazing,” Rowe said. “She’s been with me the whole time. She was there. First phone call, [it] took her 30 seconds [to reach out] when she found out.” It was a big step, as prior to Debbie’s diagnosis, she and Paris hadn’t been seen in public together since 2013. Rowe has mostly kept a low profile in the years since she lost a very public custody battle with Michael’s mother, Katherine Jackson, in 2009. It seems that some sort of falling out took place in 2013 that led to Debbie’s kids cutting ties with her, though the exact nature of the feud remains unknown. The status of her relationship (or lack thereof) with son Prince Jackson is also unknown. Of course, Debbie and Prince both seem to prefer life outside of the spotlight, so it’s possible that they’ve also reconciled and we just don’t know it. Paris, on the other hand, enjoys her massive social media following, as well as the ability to sing her mother’s praises to a large audience. We look forward to watching them enjoy one another’s company for many years to come.
We dont know where this was filmed or why, but that’s beside the point. Isn’t this one of the worst versions of Beyonce’s Formation you have ever heard in your life?
The Bachelor is just beginning with its January 2 premiere. The magical, journey-ending Final Rose ceremony has already been filmed, however, and customarily, The Bachelor spoilers have already leaked. Raise your hands if you’re surprised … anyone?! Hello? No. By this point, The Bachelor spoilers leaking before the season is almost as much of a foregone conclusion as the winners breaking up! We kid … mostly. But the show’s track record is not great. Just saying, people. Anyway, back to the lecture at hand: Nick Viall has finished filming his starring turn as The Bachelor, and we know the outcome. After being rejected by Andi Dorfman and Kaitlyn Bristowe on back-to-back The Bachelorette finales, will he finally find love this time? Oh yes. With Nick in the lead role and doling out the roses, it was finally his time (whether it lasts is another story, but we’ll get to that later). Anyway, ready to meet Nick’s final four – and the winner?! 1. Rachel Lindsay from Dallas, Texas. 2. Corinne Olympios of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. 3. Raven Gates from Hoxie, Arkansas. 4. Vanessa Grimaldi of Montreal, Canada. Nick goes on hometown dates with these four on the ninth episode of the season. Thanks to Reality Steve , we know how it plays out from there. Hometown Elimination: Corinne Olympios. According to Steve, the Oracle of Bachelor and Bachelorette spoilers, insiders were surprised that Corinne made it as far as she did. Perhaps, then, it wasn’t a shock that her hometown date was the one that didn’t translate to an overnight date and the Fantasy Suite. Steve also notes that Corinne is 100 percent the “villain,” that she wasn’t liked by a lot of the other girls, and will be the talk of this season. Anyway, she’s out. And then there were three … In Episode 10, the remaining women travel to Finland, where Nick probably gets naked with all three once the cameras stop rolling. We kid … sort of. We have no idea honestly. Remember that it’s Nick we’re talking about, though, so it’s fairly likely he’s not opposed to going there with his final trio of girls. At all. Fantasy Suite Elimination: Rachel Lindsay. The first African-American contestant to make the final four (or three) will be a contender to be the next Bachelorette, and for good reason. She will not get engaged to Nick, however. The finale will pit Raven Gates against Vanessa Grimaldi, and well, the rumors were true … Nick Viall is engaged to Vanessa Grimaldi! Weeks ago, we heard that much like Ben Higgins picking Lauren Bushnell and JoJo Fletcher taking Jordan Rodgers, this was a sure bet. Vanessa was his favorite early on, according to the man with all the inside connections, and like Lauren and Jordan, she got the final rose. Now, of course, we don’t know for sure . Until it plays out on ABC, we can’t be 100.00 percent positive that the information above is correct. But we would bet heavily that it is. While the contestants’ romantic futures often fade fast, with a few notable exceptions, The Bachelor spoilers are pretty close to a lock . This doesn’t mean there won’t be drama, of course. You can take it to the bank that ABC promos, tabloids and other fan speculation will hint at various alternate outcomes all winter long. Does Raven actually win in the end? Nick leave both his finalists hanging? Does he get rejected once again in what would be an epic twist? No. Steve is not “worried about being wrong,” which is a telling sign. Speaking of signs, they don’t look so hot for the winning duo’s future. The word on this street is that Nick has been bitten by the Hollywood bug, wants to be an actor and model, and is set on moving to L.A. Doesn’t bode well if you’re Vanessa. View Slideshow: The Bachelor Season 21 Contestants: Meet Nick’s Ladies! How can we be sure they won’t last as a couple before we’ve even seen them as a couple? We can’t. Nothing is set in stone, obviously. Let’s just say that the odds are against it. Despite all the talk that Nick “earned” the job or takes the process seriously, the trappings of fake and finding love on TV are real obstacles. We wish them well, don’t get us wrong. But to state the obvious, based on what we know, we aren’t holding our collective breath for the LIVE TV WEDDING EVENT of the year. What about you, Bachelor Nation? Do you think it can possibly last? Check out the full gallery of contestants above, and tell us if you believe Nick and Vanessa even stand a chance, given his … history: View Slideshow: 7 Girls From The Bachelor Franchise That Nick Viall Has Slept With
Don Lemon is so drunk right now he's spilling his heart on #CNNNYE for his New Year's Resolution. pic.twitter.com/52npFU7Pmc — Josh Sánchez (@jnsanchez) January 1, 2017 Poor Don. Are there any men out there trying to show Don Lemon a good time and not hurt his heart in 2017? Gosh!
Texas Police Officer Gives Weed Smoker A Chance To Dodge Jail With 200 Push-Ups Every now and then you come across a good cop who actually wants to HELP the citizens he patrols. Enter officer Eric Bell of the Arlington Police Department. When he caught a young man smokin’ that loud in front of a local movie theater (how dumb is THAT?!), he took advantage of the teachable moment and did something that the lifted loiterer will probably never forget for the rest of his life… Too bad we don’t see more cops like Eric Bell… Image via YouTube
For those of us watching television Stateside, Chewing Gum probably became one of your favorite shows this year after making its debut on Netflix in late October. But the series actually premiered in 2015 on the British TV channel E4. In case you missed the greatness of this six-episode series, it’s focused on Tracey Gordon. She is the virginal daughter of a religious mother who is trying to see more of the world — and have some sex.Tracey, played by Michaela Coel, who both created and writes the series, ended up winning two BAFTA Awards earlier this year for her work. She took home Best Female Comedy Performance and Breakthrough Talent for writing the comedy. With that much success not only across the pond but a bubbling influence here in the United States, you knew a second season had to be on the way. [ madamenoire ] $5 Million Class-Action Lawsuit Accuses St. Ives Apricot Scrub Of Damaging Skin In the $5 million class-action lawsuit, the women state that dermatological research warns that the walnut shells in the scrub can cause inflammation, which leads to breakouts and accelerated aging. The women’s specific issue though is that the St. Ives product says it’s “dermatologist tested.” While it may be, it’s misleading to put that information on the product considering that the ingredients in their products are not recommended by dermatologists. [ madamenoire ] #CallYoPresident: Black Motorist Leaves Trump Supporter Stranded In Snow Troy Brown might have gotten some lumps of coal in his stocking this past Christmas, this after he left a Donald Trump supporter stranded in their car in the middle of an Ohio snowstorm. Brown posted a video of him passing the motorist by to his Facebook page, which has since gone viral and drew out the racists of course. Brown posted the video two weeks ago when Ohio was slammed by a heavy snowstorm. Using the clever hashtag “#CallYoPresident,” he then posted the video of him explaining the situation with a photo of the stranded vehicle. Naturally, Trump types and your garden variety racist trolls found the public post and began hurling racial slurs and threats common for those hiding behind keyboards. “Wow, pretty low move, and to brag? Lol. I’m sorry your morals are so misguided,” said one person. Another just went straight for the jugular and called Brown a “black piece of sh*t.” Other gems included, “And that’s what’s wrong with people nowadays I was raised to help everyone in need no matter what but what do I know I’m just a gun owning patriotic American and you sir are a piece of sh*t.” Brown got plenty of support from the other side and amped up his stances by placing a comment that read, ” A list of people Trump voters can call for help: 1. Yo president 2. Exxon Mobil CEO 3. General Flynn’s son 4. The gunman at Comet pizza in D.C.” [ hiphopwired ] Carrie Fisher’s Autopsy on Hold [ tmz ] Rihanna Steps Out in Floral Bliss While In Barbados [ hellobeautiful ] Pink Welcomes Son, Jameson Moon, With Husband Carey Hart [ huffingtonpost ] Teen Runaway Saved From Prostitution — by Uber Driver [ iheartradio ] Former NFL Safety Keion Carpenter Dies [ balleralert ]
Former Student Admits Killing Teacher He Impregnated And Their Toddler Son This story just keeps getting more twisted. Isaac Duran Infante, the student who fathered 4-year-old Miguel Barahona with former teacher Felicia Barahona, both found dead Monday, has admitted to killing them. The 23-year-old confessed killer came to Barahona’s Harlem apartment Christmas night intending to kill her, police sources told the NY Daily News. After knocking her to the floor and choking her with a telephone cord, Infante realized his son with Barahona had emerged from the bathroom. He then choked the boy to death, leaving his body in the bathtub before leaving the apartment and returning to his home in Bethlehem, Pa. Infante was seen arriving at the building and leaving about three hours later on video footage captured from a security camera at a neighboring apartment. He turned himself in to police after his sister showed them a photo of him in the same red hooded sweatshirt he’d worn that night. Police sources say the sweatshirt was left behind following the killings after Infante put on a scarf Barahona had once given him. Police say Infante was angry over his weekly child support payments of $80-$100, as well as upset that Barahona fed Miguel fast food. Infante was expecting another child with a new girlfriend and having difficulty managing the child support payments, according to NY Post reports. Infante, who had a job working at an airport near the Pennsylvania/New Jersey border told investigators that Barahona had taken advantage of him when he was just a teen student and raped him. He faces two counts of first-degree murder. Jeeeeez this is a lot to digest. Of course the little boy is the victim in all this, but despite her obvious manipulation of Infante, Barahona shouldn’t have lost her life. Infante is a victim too still — anybody who watches SVU as much as us already knows he’s going to use his teen sex abuse as a defense in all this. 22 is damn young to be committing murder AND infanticide too — not that there is ever an appropriate age for that! Facebook
This has been a pretty rough year in terms of losing our icons, and losing them at ages that are far from what one would consider “old.” After losing George Michael, Ricky Harris and Carrie Fisher in a span of days at the tail end of the year, Twitter users are more than disappointed — they are pretty frightened. People started saying that precautions need to be taken to look out for the icons we have left, whose work we’ve grown up with and followed. Here is a list of stars Twitter users said we need to keep a 24/7 eye on as this disappointing year comes to a close. [ madamenoire ] LaTavia Roberson: I Was Dismissed From Destiny’s Child “And It Wasn’t Pretty” It’s been 19 years since four teen girls from Houston, Texas, came together to form Destiny’s Child, and 16 years since original members LeToya Luckett and LaTavia Roberson were replaced by Michelle Williams, and, briefly, Farrah Franklin, but the pain lives on for Roberson. The 35-year-old has spoken about the hurt of being kicked out of one of the highest-selling girl groups of all time on more than one occasion, but this time Roberson is putting all of her thoughts all in one place: A memoir to be released in the spring of 2017. [ madamenoire ] Kodak Black Responds To Internet Slander After Instagram Shower Video Kodak Black took a shower on Instagram Live. Of course, he dropped the phone and exposed himself. Of course, we laughed. Kodak Black‘s attention whore radar went off the meters Tuesday when he decided to take a shower on Instagram Live. Apparently, the attention got so overwhelming that he dropped his phone by mistake, we think. The phone conveniently dropped screen-side up, giving his followers a floor up view of Black’s “Lil Kodak.” If you’re into that kind of thing, you can look for yourself here. The people who got assaulted by the image responded immediately while the rest of us were blindsided by the screenshot on our timelines. [ hiphopwired ] Debbie Reynolds Rushed to Hospital for Possible Stroke [ tmz ] Pause, No Homo: Grown Men Don’t Have To Defend Their Heterosexuality [ globalgrind ] Trump Is Already Taking Credit For The Economy. Here’s Why It Could Backfire [ huffingtonpost ] Cowboys Will Reportedly Activate Mark Sanchez as Dak Prescott’s Backup [ balleralert ] Judge Sucker-Punched Lawyer After Party: Complaint [ iheartradio ]
