As I skim the warmed-over tributes to Marilyn Monroe on the dubious occasion of her being dead for 50 years, a variation of one headline keeps coming up: “50 Years Dead and More Alive Than Ever.” Rather than post some smart-ass comment about lazy headline writers, I thought I’d work with that idea: If Marilyn was still alive, what would have been some great movie vehicles for her? Below, in no particular order, my Movieline Nine wish list, which mostly ignores what Monroe’s actual would have been when these movies would have been made. This is hypothetical after all, and, besides, if you, type “Marilyn Monroe” and “ageless” into Google, you get more than 3.8 million hits. Okay, Marilyn fans, you’ve been served. Now, in the words of J.J. Hunsecker: “Match me.” Put your wish lists in the comments section below. 1. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988): Because Monroe playing the voice of Jessica Rabbit and delivering the line, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way,” in her presumably wizened sex-kitten voice voice would have been a beautiful thing. 2. Th e Poseidon Adventure (1972): Actually, no time-space continuum meddling would have been necessary for Monroe to have starred in this movie. Shelley Winters was 52 when she played the part of Belle Rosen and made that unforgettable — and ultimately sacrificial — swim to save Gene Hackman and secure that underwater lifeline. Monroe would have been 46, and I’d like to think she would have been as bawdy and mouthy as Winters at that age. The swimming scene could also have been a great nod to her hot-stuff swimming-pool scenes in Something’s Got to Give , which, in keeping with the premise here, would have actually been finished. 3. Grey Gardens (2009): Given all of the media generated by alleged Monroe’s relationships with John F. Kennedy and his brother Bobby, think of the press frenzy that would have resulted had she portrayed Jacqueline Onassis’ loopy aunt, Edith “Big Edie” Bouvier Beale in Michael Sucsy’s dramatic adaptation of the Maysles Brothers 1975 documentary. 4. Young Adult (2011): This would require putting Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman in the Hot Tub Time Machine and sending them back to 1962, but, lo, the results! Monroe takes Charlize Theron’s homewrecking role, and a young Don Rickles takes over for Patton Oswalt. That’s a movie I want to see. Plus, the subject matter makes the movie much more talked-about in 1960s, thereby getting it more of the Oscar love it surely deserved. 5. Thelma & Louise (1991): Once again, some time-bending would be required since Monroe would have been in her mid-60s when this movie was made. The more important question, though is, would Marilyn have made a better Thelma or Louise? I say Louise, because I bet that by the time she hit middle age, Monroe would have thrilled to play a scene where she shoots a man. 6. Flirting with Disaster (1996): Monroe would have been pushing 70–about 10 years older than Mary Tyler Moore was when the sitcom star turned heads as the acidic, body-conscious Mrs. Coplin. But if Monroe had cared for her her curves, David O. Russell would have pulled a hallmark performance from her. I suspect Monroe would not have been nearly as tart as Moore, but she would have been memorable. 7. Ocean’s 11 (2001): You’re thinking Angie Dickinson’s role, I’m not. I love Elliott Gould, particularly in this movie, but I think Steven Soderbergh directing Monroe as the female Reuben Tishkoff would have been so cool. Clooney and Pitt could have played off her as if they’d had a sexual past in younger days, and Monroe could have had a Mae West Sextette moment. 8. New York, New York (1977): I was planning to include a Hitchcock film on here until I read some of Tippi Hedren’s interviews about her sexual harassment at the hands of the brilliant-but-brutish director. Then it hit me: Marty! Yes, I know the movie has its flaws, but it’s ambitious, and Scorsese would have pushed Monroe to new heights in both the dramatic scenes and the musical numbers. Then again, Marilyn was no Liza Minnelli. So, if you’re really struggling with it, throw reality to the wind and imagine Monroe in Sharon Stone’s role in Casino. 9. Step Sisters (In my dreams) So, in some alternate reality, some super agent convinces Adam McKay to direct a remake of his 2008 comedy Step Brothers starring Madonna and Lady Gaga in, respectively, in the Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly roles. Monroe would play Mary Steenburgen’s part. Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo would write. Yes, I know, it would be easier to raise Monroe from the dead than get Madonna to co-star in anything with Gaga, but just think of the box office. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter.
Also in Monday morning’s round-up of news briefs, a slew of stars and moguls expected in an Obama fundraiser. Celeste and Jesse Forever triumphs at the specialty box office and a rom-com heads to Phase 4 Films. Harvey Weinstein, Aaron Sorkin and Anne Hathaway to co-Host Obama Fundraiser Weinstein’s Westport, CT home will be the site for the $35,800 per ticket fundraiser, billed as an intimate dinner for 50 people including Hathaway, Paul Newman’s widow Joanne Woodward, Deadline reports . Natalie Portman Marries Benjamin Millepied The couple married in a nighttime ceremony along the California Central Coast are of Big Sur following a 14 month engagement. They have a son, Aleph. The couple met in the fall of 2009 while prepping for their 2010 film, Black Swan , which made $329 million worldwide and earned Portman an Oscar, THR reports . Specialty Box Office: Celeste and Jesse Forever Hot in Debut; Killer Joe Solid in 2nd Weekend Most specialty newcomers had a rough go in their rollouts over the weekend, but one film Celeste and Jesse Forever managed a spectacular debut. Magnolia Pictures’ 360 also enjoyed a respectable opening, while others failed to gain traction, Deadline reports . Marvel Studios Sued over Avengers Briefcase German company Rimowa GmbH apparently gave its permission for the Disney-owned film studio to use its Topas briefcase in the film. However, the company claims Marvel took the look of its design for a plastic replica case that is due to be sold as part of a forthcoming Blu-ray box set, The Guardian reports . Phase 4 Films Nabs Miss Dial The company picked up U.S. and Canadian rights to David H. Steinberg’s romantic comedy Miss Dial . The pic is the feature directorial debut of Puss in Boots writer Steinberg and stars Robinne Lee and Sam Jaeger, Variety reports .
Late last week, the box office prognosticators speculated whether The Dark Knight Rises would eek out a triumph over newcomer Total Recall . The pendulum would swing in either direction as the weekend approached, but in the end TDKR easily beat out Total by every measure. In fact, the film only really managed to measure-up to its original, but in 2012 dollars 1. The Dark Knight Rises Gross: $36,440,000 (Cume: $354,638,000) Screens: 4,242 (PSA: $8,590) Weeks: 3 (Change: – 41%) Speculation ran rampant in among box office watchers if The Dark Knight Rises would hold number one with the debut of Total Recall , but in the end Batman won and actually quite handily. TDKR took the top spot for the third weekend in a row. The feature dropped 162 screens compared to the previous weekend and its $8,590 per-screen average compares to $14,549 last weekend. Internationally, the pic has grossed well over $378 million. 2. Total Recall Gross: $26 million Screens: 3,601 (PSA: $7,220) Week 1 The original opened with just over $25.5 million when it debuted in 1990 in 2,060 theaters for a $12,395 average, so the re-make is in quite in the shadow of its original especially when factoring inflation. Abroad, Total Recall grossed $6.2 million in 12 markets, but will be heading to larger territories in the coming weeks. 3. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days Gross: $14.7 million Screens: 3,391 (PSA: $4,335) Week: 1 The pic also grossed an additional $2.77 million overseas, so within ear-shot of its $22 million production budget, but it did not measure up to last year’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules in its bow. The previous installment of the series grossed $23.75 million from 3,167 theaters for a $7,500 average back in March of 2011. It went on to gross nearly $52.7 million domestically 4. Ice Age: Continental Drift (3-D, Animation) Gross: $8.4 million (Cume: $131,862,859) Screens: 3,542 (PSA: $2,372) Week: 4 (Change: – 37%) The animated feature held decently one month out and should surpass the previous installment Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs , which grossed just under $200 million domestically. 5. The Watch Gross: $6.35 million (Cume: $25,363,203) Screens: 3,168 (PSA: $2,004) Weeks: 2 (Change: -50%) The pic struggled to connect with audiences with a drop of 50% despite no change in screen count. 6. Ted Gross: $5,478,660 (Cume: $203,413,895) Screens: 2,767 (PSA: $1,980) Weeks: 6 (Change: -25%) The stuffed bear continues to be a summer hit internationally as well. The comedy grossed $32 million at 2,380 locations in 20 territories for an international total coming in at $77.3 million. Domestically, the feature played 362 theaters compared to the previous weekend. 7. Step Up: Revolution (3-D) Gross: $5.3 million (Cume: $23,097,149) Screens: 2,606 (PSA: $2,034) Weeks: 2 (Change: – 55%) The feature had a pretty steep drop, though it did have a slight up-tick in showings compared to its opening weekend. Still, the drop suggests the pic is not grabbing audience attention as it expands. 8. The Amazing Spider-Man Gross: $4.3 million (Cume $250.64 million) Screens: 2,425 (PSA: $1,773) Weeks: 5 (Change: -36%) One of the summer’s biggest hits, the feature is now totaling just under $678 million worldwide. 9. Brave (3-D, Animation) Gross: $2.89 million (Cume: $223,324,000) Screens: 2,110 (PSA: $1,370) Weeks: 7 (Change: -33%) The Disney animation has cumed $118 million for a global total coming in at $341.3 million. Brave has comfortably surpassed the summer’s other animated success, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted , which has cumed just over $210.8 million in 9 weeks of release. 10. Magic Mike Gross: $1.38 million (Cume: $110,894,000) Screens: 1,202 (PSA: $1,148) Weeks: 6 (Change: – 47%) A success by any measure, the feature has likely come close to its domestic peak. The Steven Soderbergh directed film added 349 theaters in its sixth weekend out. Still its $1,148 average compares to $1,626 last week. And overall, certainly a stripping success for a $7 million budget.
Rashida Jones filtered her own relationship history — and a few heart-wrenching break-ups — into this weekend’s Celeste and Jesse Forever , an L.A.-set look at one couple’s struggle to remain besties through separation, divorce, and the complicated disentanglement that follows the world’s best-worst break-up. Co-written with fellow actor Will McCormack, whom Jones dated for three weeks years ago, the sweet, affecting dramedy is peppered with moments inspired by real life events that carry Celeste through her journey of painful but necessary self-discovery — including one legendarily awful date with a guy who turned out to be, in Jones’ words, “a serial masturbator.” Like Celeste, Jones, who looks back on her past relationships as life lessons, has learned the hard way that not all love stories are meant to last. “I’m no better at break-ups,” she admits. “I haven’t gotten any stronger, I just try to learn my lesson in a way where I don’t have to re-learn it, and that’s the only thing I can do,” she says. As I was watching, I realized these are revelations you can only really have by experiencing them firsthand. Yeah, totally. Will always says, “The cure for the pain is the pain.” I hate when he says that, but I definitely feel like it’s the first step in real adulthood, when you’re like, “Oh, things are not going to be the way I thought they would.” In some ways they’re going to be better, and in some ways they’re going to be way worse. But regardless, I have no control over it, and my need to control it only makes it worse. It definitely came from a real place. It’s a very personal story for me, and hopefully it’s the kind of thing I can leave in the movie and leave behind. There’s so much truth in this movie. For instance: The crushing wisdom that is contained in Boyz II Men’s “On Bended Knee.” Was there an actual best-worst break-up for you that inspired the story? It’s definitely a composite of a lot of relationships for me, for Will, and for family members and friends. We just stole the best-worst parts. I definitely loved somebody for years, and it didn’t work out. We grew up together, and it was really hard to let go. We spent years not being friends and now we’re friends and it’s great — but that’s because it took years. And I’m no better at break-ups. I haven’t gotten any stronger, I just try to learn my lesson in a way where I don’t have to re-learn it, and that’s the only thing I can do. It gets a little better every time I get out of a relationship, I know I’m never going to do that thing again. You and Will wrote this together, but the press notes tell us you two dated for a few weeks way back when. I assume you were able to be good friends after that? We were. We dated for three weeks and then he kind of dumped me. I was like, “Ugh, whatever.” Then we became friends a couple months later. He reminded me recently that he had apologized to me for not treating me well, and then we became friends. That’s nice! I think that was obviously an essential part that I had blocked out, but… so we were friends for a long time and talked about writing, and started things but never finished them. But the Celeste and Jesse relationship, that dynamic is very close to the one that Will and I have — except we don’t still have that “will they/won’t they” tension. We’re basically brother and sister now. So that’s what happens, huh? Well, listen — not with everybody! I have people with which that thing will never go away. That’s the crazy part about being an adult: when it’s like, [your feelings for another person] are never going to go away. But it doesn’t mean I should be with that person. I have somebody that I love and will always love, and we’re friends, but we’re never going to be together. That sucks, but you can’t always reward the connection with a lifelong relationship. Sometimes it is what it is. You’re so wise! Ugh, not really! [Laughs] There’s a line in the film that stuck with me: “Would you rather be right, or be happy?” That’s the kind of thing that really sucks to hear until you realize that it’s true. I know. To me, that was really the key to turning to adulthood for me. For so long when I was precocious and in my twenties I thought, “If I take right action, if I know what’s right, I’m going to be fine.” And then shit happens, because shit always happens to you. Then you have to learn how to be flexible and see grey and not hold onto a concept, or not fight for a mission that’s going to make you unhappy. For a long time I was convinced that I could will whatever I wanted to into being. Me too. My Will and I bring this up all the time — free will versus destiny — because I think when you feel like you have control over your life you do think, “Well, if I just do this, I’ll make it better.” Then you’re like, “Oh my god, maybe there is no free will, because things happen and if you try, you’re going to be miserable.” [Laughs] Well, you’ve given us all a lot to chew on. In terms of tackling the romantic dramedy genre, how did you and Will approach it, and what did you want to do differently than what had come before? The kinds of romantic comedies that I’ve always responded to, that I’m obsessed with, that I watch incessantly, are When Harry Met Sally… , Manhattan , Annie Hall , Broadcast News . And what I love about those films is that, yeah, maybe they’re hilarious, but they also have these rich insights and complicated relationships, and you walk away feeling something. You’re left with something. The humor comes out of the pain of the reality of the relationships. Mainstream film doesn’t have as much of that element anymore, so we kind of wanted to do something like that and hopefully touch upon some kind of socio-cultural trends that relate to people, that they feel haven’t been represented in movies. What are some of those trends? There are a couple of things: One is the Peter Pan-syndrome boy and the Type A woman relationship, and I think that has been touched upon — that’s, like, a Judd Apatow model. That’s his thing. But then more it’s growing up with somebody and feeling like they’re a family member, somebody that you loved, and trying to transition into friendship. Can you be friends with your ex? What does that actually look like? How do you get past a relationship that has defined you for so many years and try to keep some part of it but not throw all of it out, just because you’re not going to be together anymore? Right — and that would be the typical immediate reaction to most break-ups. To throw it all out? I think there’s some survivalist protection thing involved, too. I personally don’t think you can go right into being friends with somebody right after so long being together. You have to have a break. You have to heal, you know? [Laughs] People say this to me all the time and I fucking hate it, but you’re only ready when you’re ready. Chris Messina’s character says it in the movie and it’s so annoying, but you go back as many times as you need to go back before you’re done with that lesson. You’re going to do it until you’re not going to do it anymore. So true. Meanwhile, Celeste and Jesse also manages to feel very authentic to L.A. — not just the local landmarks and spots, but even something in Celeste’s constant plugged-in multimedia engagement. Maybe that’s something of the contemporary female experience, in an age when everyone’s consumed by email and the ego-driven Twitter mentality, all these things pulling you in different directions at the same time. For sure. Also, her job in the movie is to stay connected. And to be smarter than everyone else, in a way — to be able to forecast the future, to predict trends, which is exactly what she has trouble doing in her own life. Exactly. If we were being really simple and cliché one of the themes that we were going for was, she can predict everyone else’s future, but she can’t predict her own. She picked a job where she can always be right, and she can prove to herself that she’s always right. Then life happens and she can’t be right about it. Some of the more comic scenes — the awful date Celeste goes on at Chateau Marmont with the celebrity photographer, for instance — were those inspired by terrible dates in real life? That happened to me. No! It did not! It did ! Horrible, horrible dating story. The whole thing? The whole thing. Yeah. That’s amazing. Is it? [Laughs] It was less amazing when it happened, and then like six months later it was okay, I could tell the story. The worst part was that I had a friend that I told the story to and I knew that she had dated him briefly, and the same thing happened to her! He was, like, a serial masturbator. I want you to know that makes that scene so much better for me as a viewer. I know, it’s so sad. Also: Was Ke$ha not available to play the trashy pop starlet played by Emma Roberts? [Laughs] You know, there’s obviously a little bit of that in there but it’s another kind of composite. It’s her, a little early Britney Spears, a little Taylor Swift, a little Miley Cyrus… Sure, but there is a nod to the unexpected wisdom in that character. We didn’t want it to be this superficial, shallow girl. We tried a little bit to buck convention. Every character in the movie, we tried to do a thing where you expect one thing from them and they surprise you, which is hard to do. Next up for you is another re-team with Will, adapting your own project? Frenemy of the State, yeah. We’re doing an adaptation of a comic book that I co-wrote, for Universal and Imagine. It’s about a socialite who is recruited to be a spy in the C.I.A. Are you thinking of starring in it? No! It’s like a 20-year-old girl. I could be her mother. I could legitimately be her mother. If you were a teen mom, or something. Yeah, if I was a teen mom. So we’ll see. Hopefully they make it! Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
“Why don’t people send this stuff to me?!” Bryan Singer cries through laughter, watching YouTube parodies of his films, including X-Men , The Usual Suspects , and Jack the Giant Killer . It’s kind of adorable. Welcome to the internet, Bryan Singer! (Fun, but I do wonder why the folks at What’s Trending don’t show Singer any Superman Returns and Valkryie parodies. Because, oh yes, they do exist.) [ What’s Trending ]
French-Canadian director Jean-Marc Valée won multiple festival nods for his 2005 feature C.R.A.Z.Y. and followed it up in 2009 with The Young Victoria , also taking home prizes and his latest Café de Flore also scored around the festival circuit. Adopt Films will release the romantic-drama Stateside in November and released a second U.S. trailer. Seemingly disconnected by both time and geography, Café de Flore nevertheless unites a young mother with a disabled son living in 1960s Paris and Antoine, a recently divorced and successful DJ in contemporary Montreal. The new trailer follows below the plot below… Plot synopsis: In 1960s Paris, a working class woman gives birth to her first child, Laurent – a Down Syndrome son. Undaunted she embraces the challenge of raising her beloved offspring as normally as one would any other child. Her husband abandons them both. She bravely brushes this additional hiccup aside as Laurent replaces her spouse as the perfect man of her dreams. As Laurent approaches school age Jacqueline’s aplomb becomes obsessive and cloying. Her increasingly self-destructive attachment to her son is raised to a fever pitch when, at the age of seven, he meets a Down Syndrome girl (Véronique) and experiences his first crush. His sudden desire for independence, and his attraction to Véra, are the catalysts that transform Jacqueline from a loving mother into something resembling a lover scorned. What emerges is a love triangle of potentially tragic proportions. In 21st century Montreal, a forty year old divorcee, Carole, is trying to restart her life after her divorce, two years earlier, from Antoine, a devastatingly handsome, successful touring DJ. Soul mates who’ve been a couple since the age of fifteen, their divorce is a schism that might prove impossible for either of them to put in the past. Making the transition even more difficult for Carole is the fact that her two daughters, one teen, one tween, are about to gain a stepmother, a stunningly beautiful, heartbreaking blonde, a woman about to “steal” away the perfect man of her dreams. The young girls are being cruelly pulled in two different directions, Antoine’s father, a recovering alcoholic, seems to side with his ex-daughter-in-law, and Carole is succumbing to fits of depression and potentially dangerous bouts of sleepwalking. What emerges is a love triangle of potentially tragic proportions. “Café de Flore” Official US Trailer #2, directed by Jean-Marc Vallée from Adopt Films on Vimeo .
Elizabeth Olsen has given her two cents and two thumbs up to Fifty Shades of Grey , the best-selling erotic drama by E.L. James that has been the subject of a flurry of Twitter and blog posts over the summer over who will (or should) be cast in the lead roles. But the Martha Marcy May Marlene star who is currently filming Very Good Girls and has a couple of other projects in post-production said that the novel is “kind of great” for helping its female base to embrace fantasies and to openly discuss their sexuality. “It’s had a huge impact on society. Apparently rope sales have skyrocketed because women who’ve read the book are really getting into bondage, which is kind of great. It’s such a taboo for women to actually discuss sexuality without the help of Cosmopolitan ,” she told Bullett . Continuing she added: “All of a sudden, this book has become a sensation because the women reading it haven’t had access to this kind of thing before. I was talking to a guy who was making a joke about it, saying, ‘Clearly these women just need to watch porn.’ In a way, he’s right.” Olsen had been rumored to play the Anastasia Steele in the already anticipated screen version of the movie. Rumors have also been flying about Kristen Stewart, Emma Watson (who told EW the answer is no), Shailene Woodley, Amanda Seyfriend, Dakota Fanning and Lindsay Lohan. And for Olsen, the answer is a bonafide no. In fact a, “No, no, no.” Amazon.com plot description of Fifty Shades of Grey : Romantic, liberating and totally addictive, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is a novel that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever. When literature student Anastasia Steele interviews successful entrepreneur Christian Grey, she finds him very attractive and deeply intimidating. Convinced that their meeting went badly, she tries to put him out of her mind – until he turns up at the store where she works part-time, and invites her out. Unworldly and innocent, Ana is shocked to find she wants this man. And, when he warns her to keep her distance, it only makes her want him more. But Grey is tormented by inner demons, and consumed by the need to control. As they embark on a passionate love affair, Ana discovers more about her own desires, as well as the dark secrets Grey keeps hidden away from public view… [Source: Bullet , SF Gate , Amazon ]
With the world in the thrall of another Olympiad, it’s time to dig up an appropriately athletic title from the vaults. And given the disastrous performance of U.S men’s gymnastics team in London, I will be doing my part to salve that psychic wound by drawing attention to an even bigger acrobatic disaster: the 1985 film Gymkata . The late, legendary Wide World of Sports anchor Jim McKay was renowned for bringing us what he called “the human drama of athletic competition,” and in that arena, the Olympics rarely disappoint. Gymkata , on the other hand, fails spectacularly. The drama is non-existent. The athletic display is jackhammered into the storyline, and the performances can be said to be many things, but human is not one of them. This is a gold-plated disaster, and it is one worthy of display. What exactly is Gymkata? The movie’s tag line describes it as “The skill of gymnastics. The kill of karate.” In reality, it was MGM’s unintentionally hilarious attempt to cash in on the excitement behind the gold-medal-winning U.S. Olympic Men’s gymnastics team of 1984 by building a clunky action/adventure movie around a buff gymnast and a fictional form of martial arts. To those ends, the studio cast a once-promising athlete Kurt Thomas, to star in the picture. Thomas had been expected to win gold at the 1980 games in Moscow, but the United States’ boycott of those games scuttled those chances. I’d love to know what Thomas considers more disappointing: being denied his Olympic dream or his appearance in this movie. Handsome athlete in hand, MGM grafted on the action/adventure angle by optioning a pulpy 1957 novel, The Terrible Game , by Dan Tyler Moore, hiring an unproven TV writer Charles Robert Carner to script it and a chop-sockey film director, Robert Clouse, to helm it. All that was left was to slap an action mullet on Thomas and yell, “Action!” The movie begins with slow-mo footage of Jonathon Cabot (Thomas) performing on the horizontal bar, intercut with shots of stampeding horsemen pursuing a lone individual. This man is chased to a ravine and as he tries to cross by suspended rope he is shot with an arrow and plunges to his death. We learn that this was Cabot’s father, and soon Jonathon is being recruited by the U.S. government to join a new fighting corps because he’s needed to infiltrate the country of Parmistan — an Eastern-bloc nation, possibly known for its hard cheese — where the government wants to establish our satellite defense shield. Jonathon is told that once he infiltrates Parmistan, he needs to compete in a centuries-old contest called “The Game”, where the winner is rewarded with his life, and one request. His training is overseen by Princess Rubali, who is said to be an expert at The Game. This designation is dubious at best given that nobody has won The Game in 900 years. Cabot’s training is even more unconvincing, although highly entertaining. Walking up staircases on his hands turns out to be a key form of training, if only so that the camera can linger on Thomas’ crotch as he repeatedly practices this skill. Predictably, Cabot and the mostly mute Princess hook up and once he’s fully trained, then head to Parmistan, where faster than you can say “freshly grated,” they encounter trouble. The Princess is kidnapped, and Cabot engages in the first of numerous skirmishes using his newfound Gymkata skills. Thomas is also given plenty of opportunities to elude danger using a combination of vaulting, floor exercises and other gymnastic skills. And yes, things get even more ri-damned-diculous: In one scene, Cabot uses a crude pommel horse that he just happens to come across to dispatch a crowd of attackers as they come at hi in take-a-number fashion. Once, the Game portion of this train wreck gets underway, Gymkata becomes even more incoherent and contradictory. Despite repeated claims that there are strict rules to the Game, they are repeatedly ignored. And, at one point, Thomas undercuts his stoic leading-man aura by whining about how other contestants are cheating. Late in picture, Cabot learns that his father did not die from the arrow that found him at the beginning of the movie — only to see his pops take another shaft. “Just win,” father tells son before he drops for a second time. A climactic battle follows where Jonathon eventually snaps his opponent’s neck with his thighs of steel. The victorious Cabot rides into town with his still-breathing father, who apparently is harder to kill than the dismembered Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail . Jonny wins the Game, gets the girl and is reunited with his now sieve-like father, but the filmmakers can’t leave well enough alone. A title card then states the Ronald Reaganesque reason that the ending is truly happy: “In 1985 The First Early Warning Earth Station Was Placed in Parmistan For The U.S. Star Wars Defense Program.” If watching athletes who are more fit, skilled and graceful than you’ll ever be leaves you with a feeling of inferiority, then Gymkata is your remedy. If the flailings of a onetime Olympic hopeful trapped in a hapless, incompetent production don’t make you feel superior, they will at least make you laugh like a champion. Follow Movieline on Twitte r.
Scarlett Johansson ‘s sexy pillowy voice has once again been leant to recorded music. The Avengers star joined French recording star Lulu Gainsbourg for a club-loungy version of Bonnie & Clyde . The song is just one from other notables who took part in an album, which Gainsbourg created as a tribute for his father, Serge Gainsbourg. Other famous voices bellowing for the album called From Gainsbourg to Lulu are Iggy Pop, Rufus Wainwright as well as Johnny Depp and now ex Vanessa Paradis. In the original song, based off a poem penned by infamous outlaw Bonnie Parker herself, the elder Gainsbourg paired up with another blonde bombshell of the day, French actress Brigitte Bardot back in 1968. So, this latest duo seems a perfect match. The only notable change aside from the latest version’s apparently softer tone is that Johansson sings her parts in English, while Gainsbourg sticks with French. But this is not the first time Johansson has hit the recording studio. She also released an entire album of Tom Waits covers back in 2008. Listen to Scarlett Johansson and Lulu Gainsbourg’s verion of Bonnie & Clyde here . Listen to Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis’ version of Ballade de Melodie Nelson here . [Sources: Blogcritics , Huffington Post , E Online ]
Films like Celeste and Jesse Forever and The Five-Year Engagement feel like the start of some new subgenre — these unromantic semi-comedies about the microdramas of nice, emotionally inarticulate people struggling their way through relationships. Both feature comedic actors working with material that’s not intended to be all that funny, and both take angles on relationships that don’t usually make it to screen — a prolonged breakup leading up to a divorce and a prolonged, unhappy stretch leading up to a wedding. And both cruise on the charms of their lead actors, in this case Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg , holding together just enough to be satisfying while also leaving you wishing they had a little more to them. Jones doesn’t just star in Celeste and Jesse Forever , she co-wrote the screenplay with Will McCormack (who also appears onscreen) — The Vicious Kind ‘s Lee Toland Krieger directs. It’s an interesting role for an actress to sculpt for herself, and the fact that Jones worked to make it happen speaks to the dearth of complicated, flawed female characters that are out there. Celeste, the character Jones plays, has definite hangups, realistic ones that the film explores with almost too much enthusiasm — she can be hard to spend time with as she strikes out at her friends and herself in the process of actually getting in touch with her emotions. Despite the title, the film’s far more hers than Jesse’s (Samberg) — this isn’t so much a rom-com or even a break-up movie as it is a portrait of a woman getting her unearned certainly about life shaken up a bit, and coming to terms with her own imperfections. Celeste and Jesse have been best friends since high school, and when the film starts we see them together in a car, sharing old jokes and the conversational shorthand of people who’ve known each other for a very long time. They go to dinner with their friends Beth (Ari Graynor) and Tucker (Eric Christian Olsen), who are prepping for their own wedding, and we learn that all this adorable couple behavior isn’t cute, it’s actually a little weird, because Celeste and Jesse have been broken up for six months — and while they’re ending their marriage, they still spend all their time together. Celeste is a trend forecaster (she’s written a book called Shitegeist ) and Jesse is a mostly unemployed artist, and the two are gleefully co-dependent (he’s moved out — to the guest house in the back yard). Not having gotten to see them as they were breaking up, we’re left to extrapolate their problems from the fallout as their precarious set-up crumbles under the weight of denial and miscommunication, as Jesse obviously thinks Celeste is working up to taking him back while she’s enjoying having him around but not having him too close. When he finally realizes they’re done, she comes to terms with the fact that maybe she’s not, but by then he’s gotten inextricably involved with someone new. Celeste and Jesse Forever has an affectionate, grounded take on Los Angeles, which comes across like a tangibly pleasant, lived-in place on screen (still a relative rarity for the city in movies), one in which you can run into friends at furniture stores and miss your dinner reservation at the Chateau Marmont. The film blends in bits of the showbiz industry in a matter-of-fact way — Celeste gets set up on a date with a 22-year-old male Gap model, and reluctantly takes for a client a teenybopper pop star (Emma Roberts) whose music she can’t stand. There’s a specificity to its cultural references and the locations its characters frequent that’s pleasing, and that’s more natural than the sometimes strained bits of quirkiness that mark relationships like the one between Celeste and her business partner Scott (Elijah Wood), who tries to be her self-awarely sassy gay bestie. Jesse, placed in a situation where he has to man up, proves himself capable of turning into the responsible adult Celeste claims she always wanted him to be, while she crumbles, claims she’s okay, tries to date when she’s not ready (the omnipresent Chris Messina is her best self-deprecating suitor) and smokes a lot of non-medicinal marijuana. Jones proves wonderfully willing to put herself in humiliating situations, whether overindulging at an engagement party or going on a wince-worthy dinner with a guy (Rich Sommer) whose name she can’t get straight. But her toughest scenes are the ones in which she undercuts people again and again, telling one he isn’t ready for fatherhood, another that he obviously isn’t the right match for her, and assuming (and needing) Jesse’s new girlfriend to be dumb. The way the film and its lead actress are willing to let the character fall on her face repeatedly and realistically is impressive, though the general formlessness of Celeste’s crisis makes the process, well, a lot like witnessing someone you’re fond of insist on making terrible mistakes over and over again. Celeste and Jesse Forever creates a handful of likable and very human characters, so much so that halfway through you want the film to stop putting them through the emotional wringer so that you can just spend time with them. Follow Alison Willmore on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
