Michelle Jenneke is a bit of a monster, but black people don’t care about that, they just like that she has sturdy hurdler legs and athleticism that looks like she can take a beating in the bedroom, and by sturdy legs and athleticism to take a beating in the bedroom, I mean she’s white..they like that she’s white… Not that the Worldstar audience is black, like all things mainstream hip hop, suburban white kids are all about that shit…it keeps them hood…like chains, drug dealing, and rapping in the mall parking lot…turning their white accent to something more hood…you know to keep shit urban… But more importantly, they took a monster, shot her to look good, and this is the hottest you’ll ever see Michelle Jenneke, because lets face it, what else is there for her to really do with her career, she’s a fucking hurdler… Here are pics of her to remind you that she’s a monster…she had one viral hit…and now she’s just proving if you’re not fat, and oiled up in the pool you look good…
I feel like Lady Gaga got this idea from every time anyone had sex with her pretty much ever…you know some people get cummed on as the fishing moves, some girls squirt, in Gaga’s case…it always ends in being puked on. Not because she’s a puke fetishist, but because she’s disgusting looking… That said, this is some real reaching…it’s like this bitch has done everything for attention…ever cry for attention possible..the only thing left for her to shock and awe..or shock and confuse…or just bore…but still get our attention like the annoying kid in the group poking his own eyes out to get noticed…if you know what I mean…and if you don’t…it’s like we’ll look cuz it’s there, but it doesn’t impress, make a statement or make us fucking care, you useless vile human who rips off people for her Charity… She’s garbage, been used to make money and it is safe to say, ready to be disposed of…and not just because she’s ugly, I mean she’s already ugly, it’s because she’s just not relevant…and her act is played out bullshit… That said, I’d totally watch her porn.
The Sundance Film Festival opens Thursday with a new crop of anticipated American indies – some of which will define the cinematic year. Last year’s narrative winner Beasts of the Southern Wild received a slew of Oscar nominations this year along with other titles. Which ones will emerge this year. Over the next week, M.L. will give a snapshot of the filmmakers themselves in their own words along with trailers. The first five filmmakers profiled today include Lynn Shelton’s Touchy Feely (U.S. Dramatic Competition), David Lowery’s Ain’t Them Bodies Saints (U.S. Dramatic Competition), directors Aaron Aites, Audrey Ewell, Nina Krstic, Lucian Reade’s 99%: The Occupy Wall Street Collaborative Film (U.S. Documentary Competition), Bastian Guenther’s Houston (World Dramatic Competition) and Stacie Passon’s Concussion (U.S. Dramatic Competition). Touchy Feely by director Lynn Shelton – [U.S. Dramatic Competition] Synopsis What happens when a family’s delicate psychic balance suddenly unravels? Abby is a free-spirited massage therapist. Her brother, Paul, an emotional zombie, owns a flagging dental practice, where he enlists the assistance of his equally emotionally stunted daughter, Jenny. Suddenly, transformation touches everyone. Abby develops an uncontrollable aversion to bodily contact, which seriously hinders her chosen profession and the passionate love life she once shared with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, rumors of Paul’s “healing touch” begin to miraculously invigorate his practice. As Abby navigates through an identity crisis, her brother discovers a whole new side of himself. Boasting superb performances from an ensemble cast that includes Rosemarie DeWitt, Josh Pais, Ellen Page, Scoot McNairy, Allison Janney, Ron Livingston, and newcomer Tomo Nakayama, Touchy Feely is about learning to live in your own skin—literally and figuratively. Written and directed by talented Sundance alumnus Lynn Shelton (Humpday, Your Sister’s Sister), Touchy Feely bristles with originality, coupled with Shelton’s trademark sensitivity to the foibles of human nature. [Courtesy of Sundance] Comments by Lynn Shelton: Touchy Feely quick pitch: Touchy Feely has an ensemble cast and multiple story-lines. At its center is a brother and sister: Abby (Rosemarie DeWitt), a free spirited massage therapist who can’t do her job after developing a mysterious aversion to touching skin, and Paul (Josh Pais), an emotionally stunted dentist who’s dying practice is suddenly invigorated when his waiting room fills with folks seeking out his “healing touch”. …and why it’s worth checking out at Sundance and beyond: I think it’s honest and emotional and funny and goes to some unexpected places. Plus, take a look at the cast list. Some quick anecdotes on how it all came together: 1. Our already short prep period became quite a bit shorter when Rosemarie DeWitt got cast in Promised Land which was shooting exactly when we were hoping to. In order to keep her in our film, we moved our schedule up by three weeks. 2. The dentist office, one of our key locations, eluded us until the eleventh, nail-biting, hour. I had nearly given up in despair, when, as if by magic, I discovered through casual conversation that the father of the very nice town car driver who took me to the airport one day, had JUST retired from dentistry at the age of 92. They turned out to be the most wonderful friends to the production. It was pure serendipity. 3. The biggest challenge for me of making this film was cutting together all the story-lines in the edit room. It was like an advanced-level jigsaw puzzle. Some background on the cast… Josh Pais and Rosemarie DeWitt functioned as muses for me; I wrote their roles specifically for them. The rest of the cast fell into place with relative ease once the script was finished. Ain’t Them Bodies Saints by director David Lowery – [U.S. Dramatic Competition] Synopsis: Bob Muldoon and Ruth Guthrie, an impassioned young outlaw couple on an extended crime spree, are finally apprehended by lawmen after a shootout in the Texas hills. Although Ruth wounds a local officer, Bob takes the blame. But four years later, Bob escapes from prison and sets out to find Ruth and their daughter, born during his incarceration. The barren landscapes of David Lowery’s poetic feature evoke the mythology of westerns and saturate the dramatic space with fatalism and an aching sense of loss. Aided by powerfully restrained performances by Casey Affleck, Rooney Mara, and Ben Foster, Lowery incorporates an unnerving tension into the film, teetering it at the edge of violence. The beautiful, irreconcilable dilemma of the story is that Ruth—compelled by the responsibilities of motherhood and her evolving relationship with the deputy she shot—remains haunted by her intense feelings for Bob. Each of them longs for some form of peace. Ironically, it’s Bob, the unrepentant criminal trapped in the romantic image of a bygone past, who is driven by an almost righteous sense of clarity. Following in the footsteps of Badlands and Bonnie and Clyde, Lowery’s humanism transcends the genre. [Courtesy of Sundance] Comments by David Lowery: Ain’t Them Bodies Saints quick pitch: Ain’t Them Bodies Saints is a classic tale of an outlaw who breaks out of prison and sets out to reunite with his family. …and why it’s worth checking out at Sundance and beyond: It’s looking like the temperature in Park City next week is going to have a high of 12, so escaping into the heat of the Texas summer – at least on screen – might be a cozy respite! Some quick anecdotes on how it all came together: That Texas summer was one of the challenges; the movie was originally set during the winter, but for scheduling reasons I rewrote the script to take place in summer. I figured that we might as well own it and make the heat an integral part of the film. It eventually became so integral that we had a few crew cases of heat exhaustion on set. Pausing in the middle of a hectic shoot day for medics to assist our fallen comrades was troubling for multiple reasons. But everyone endured and in the end, all the sweat and dirt looks amazing on film, and the summer is almost a character in the movie – burnt grass blowing in the wind, birdsongs in the morning and those amazing summer sunsets that you only get in Texas. 99%: The Occupy Wall Street Collaborative Film by directors Aaron Aites, Audrey Ewell, Nina Krstic, Lucian Reade [U.S. Documentary Competition] Synopsis: In 2011, seemingly overnight, Occupy captured the imagination of our nation—and the world. The sweeping story of the birth of a movement, 99%—The Occupy Wall Street Collaborative Film follows a disparate group of activists who converge on lower Manhattan’s Zuccotti Park to build a society organized by nonhierarchical decision-making structures. Inspired by the idea that wealth and political power are dangerously concentrated, grassroots groups from Minneapolis to Mississippi to Oakland soon follow suit, converging to focus on issues crucial to their own communities. After confrontations, expulsions, and mass arrests, the movement finds itself at a crossroad. What’s next? Designed in part as an experiment modeled on Occupy’s process, the film employs multiple cameras around the country to capture the kinetic, immediate experience on the ground, peppered with a comprehensive range of viewpoints from activists, experts, and detractors. In an era of hopelessness and resignation, this film is a reminder that another world order is still possible. Comments by Audrey Ewell: 99%: The Occupy Wall Street quick pitch: Mainstream news coverage of Occupy Wall Street left most people with a pretty inaccurate idea of what really happened. We went behind the scenes and took a hard look at one of the most tumultuous movements in contemporary American life. 99% connects the dots on who these people were, what they were doing, and why; this film will give you a whole new understanding of what was really happening in the cultural and economic environment, and why it compelled people all over the country to take to the streets. And then we look at what could be coming next. …and why it’s worth checking out at Sundance and beyond: This film gets into the lives of real people who are struggling to deal with the issues the movement propelled into the spotlight. It’s both affecting and enlightening. What’s great about 99% is that you will walk away truly understanding how all of the issues are connected. How a single mom in Minneapolis struggling with foreclosure is connected to the pension crisis faced by teachers and firefighters, and how the deregulation of banks and corporations (that led to the junk mortgage market crash) is directly linked to laws that govern lobbying and campaign finance. All of that is 100% connected and this film uses the stories of real Americans to cover the big interconnected picture in a way that has never quite been done before. It peels back the curtain and reveals who has the power in America, how they maintain it (including coordinated suppression of protest by DHS, local police forces and government), and the consequences for real people. Some quick anecdotes on how it all came together: Just two or three? Well, this film had unique challenges due to its experimental production process. Audrey Ewell (the founder of the film) was liaising with our shooters and co-directors all over the country, keeping it all coordinated and making sure we were getting material that could blended into one story. Various co-directors were responsible for various threads in the film. At one point, one of the co-directors in NY wanted to interview someone who was in Oakland, CA. Our Philadelphia co-producer had a connection to this woman, so he put us in touch, and the NY co-director and Audrey researched and wrote questions for her, and then a shooter in the Bay Area filmed the interview by proxy. And after all that, the NY co-director quit the film as it was too big a commitment for her, and all of that work got scrapped because her thread was subsequently cut. On a film like this, people came and people went, and because it was designed to be a parallel (but unaffiliated) experiment that mirrored and tested the processes of the movement, this was just the sort of thing that we’d invited in. So while it was frustrating and time-consuming, we’d decided to embrace the process and see where it would take us. What we found was that not all of the movement’s processes worked for us, and we had to adjust as we went along in order to satisfy the needs of a real-world, goal-oriented process with deadlines. And in our case, what that meant was scrapping any ideas about consensus, and instead implementing a strict hierarchy, with the more experienced filmmakers leading the process. Only then was production of the film possible. Houston by director Bastian Guenther – [World Dramatic Competition] Synopsis: Clemens Trunschka is not doing so well. With spotty employment and a shaky marriage, he’s pretty much lost any claim to being a “functional alcoholic.” The more accurate term for him would probably be “lousy drunk.” So when an opportunity arises to help a German company recruit an American candidate as its CEO, Trunschka seizes the chance to get… [Courtesy of Sundance] Comments by Bastian Guenther The Houston quick pitch: Clemens Trunschka is a corporate headhunter and an alcoholic. Drinking increasingly isolates him from his life and leads him away from reality. On the hunt for a top CEO in Houston, Texas, his addiction takes him on a haunting journey into his own darkness. …and why it’s worth checking out at Sundance and beyond: I hope that, like a good short story, the film lives on in the viewer’s imagination after leaving the theatre. It gives no answers and is certainly not didactic, but I hope it provokes some critical thoughts about how we live today. If so then the film achieved a lot beyond being 107 minutes of entertainment. We get wrapped up and lost in systems of our own creation that are organized around short-term goals and short-term satisfactions. On the individual level, this comes in the form of rampant consumerism or addiction, and on the societal level, in extreme capitalism and global corporations. These systems do not offer enduring solutions or meaning. They divide and conquer. So the film shows this and the isolation that comes with our modern way of life. Some quick anecdotes on how it all came together: I remember that during our shoot, Garret Dillahunt was shooting the TV show, Raising Hope , in which he stars. This ran all week in LA, then he would fly into Houston to shoot with us for the weekend and return late Sunday night to be on the set in LA early Monday morning. For 6 straight weeks, he worked every single day. I truly appreciate his dedication to our film. One day we shot a complicated scene in which some of the crew stood on a rooftop of a skyscraper in downtown Houston holding a fishing rod with a line that was attached to another fishing rod held by another crew member on the street below. To complicate matters, we were shooting this from another skyscraper across the street. Bad cell phone and walkie talkie reception did not help. But it was an exciting and fun moment, and I love how it turned out on screen. In general it was a challenge to shoot a feature film outside of my home country. The film sets work differently in Germany and the U.S. Each provides unique challenges. However, the experience was deeply gratifying, and I definitely want to continue making films in both countries. And background on the cast: I sent the script to Ulrich Tukur’s agent. After a while she called back and told us that he loved it. So we met several times, talked about the character, the story, and what it meant to me. Pretty soon we agreed on doing this project together. Our casting agent in LA, JC Cantu, showed me a lot of excellent actors for the role of Wagner. But when I had a Skype conversation with Garret Dillahunt, that JC organized, I knew that I found the right actor. We didn’t read any lines. We just talked about the film and the character. This was one of those rare moments where I knew immediately that I had found the right person. Our casting agent for Texas, Beth Sepko, did a fantastic job of finding stellar actors from the region for various other roles. Insight on the clip: Each of the two clips consists of one continuous shot in the film. They capture the pace and the style of the film. This was important to me. The clips should ignite viewers’ curiosity but also render in that short amount of time the condition of the main character. Concussion by director Stacie Passon – [U.S. Dramatic Competition] Synopsis: Abby is a fortysomething, wealthy, married, lesbian housewife who—after getting smacked in the head by her son’s baseball—walks around every corner of her suburban life to confront a mounting desire for something else. She takes on a new project and purchases a pied-à-terre in Manhattan. Walking around the city streets reminds Abby what it feels like to be sexy, and her pent-up libido shakes off its inhibitions. Her desire is not a take-home item for the minivan ride back home, so Abby inaugurates a double life that draws her deeply into a world of prostitution for women. In an auspicious debut effort, director Stacie Passon draws out a pitch-perfect performance from her lead actor, Robin Weigert, as a sexy, shut-down family woman stretching to bloom again. Palpably sensual and deliciously contained, Concussion is a keen observation of the complicated contours of midlife crisis. [Courtesy of Sundance] Comments by Stacie Passon: “Grateful to Sundance”: Firsts are always very fun, but with it I know there will be a lot of scrutiny. Will these films stand up? Will they move people and make them think? Sundance has been very brave here, but also I know they have a ton of confidence in the films in competition. They’ve been wonderful and supportive of Concussion in a so many ways already. We are grateful and lucky to have their support. Here’s to Technology and non-traditional distribution: I’m really encouraged. I mean, Sundance said that there where a many features made by women this year. Technology is making it easier to make films. Access to distribution platforms makes it easier to monetize films. I think as more and more women find these non-trad ways to get the work seen, we’ll see our numbers rise dramatically. The other thing is that women historically have had a hard time making more than two or three features, and many of the films at Cannes are not by new filmmakers. So women drop off huge in that category. For most of the women at Sundance in competition, this is a first or second feature. So it’s not only Sundance’s willingness to embrace women, it’s really about embracing new voices as well.
Movieline is updating the winners as they’re announced at the 70th Golden Globes Sunday night. The nominees follow in each category until the winner is announced. MOTION PICTURE CATEGORIES Motion Picture, Drama Argo , Warner Bros. Pictures, GK Films, Smokehouse Pictures; Warner Bros. Pictures Django Unchained , The Weinstein Company, Columbia Pictures; The Weinstein Company/Sony Pictures Releasing Life of Pi , Fox 2000 Pictures; Twentieth Century Fox Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures, Twentieth Century Fox; Touchstone Pictures Zero Dark Thirty , Columbia Pictures and Annapurna Pictures; Sony Pictures Releasing Best Exotic Marigold Hotel , Blueprint Pictures/Participant Media; Fox Searchlight Pictures Les Miserables , Universal Pictures, A Working Title Films/Cameron Mackintosh Productions; Universal Pictures Moonrise Kingdom , Indian Paintbrush; Focus Features Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, CBS Films Silver Linings Playbook , The Weinstein Company Director Ben Affleck, Argo (Winner) Actor, Drama Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln Richard Gere, Arbitrage John Hawkes, The Sessions Joaquin Phoenix, The Master Denzel Washington, Flight Actress, Drama Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone Helen Mirren, Hitchcock Naomi Watts, The Impossible Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea Actor, Comedy or Musical Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables (Winner) Actress, Comedy or Musical Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook (Winner) Supporting Actor Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained (Winner) Supporting Actress Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables (Winner) Screenplay Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained (Winner) Foreign-Language Picture Amour (Austria) – Winner Animated Feature Film Brave (Winner) Original Score Mychael Danna, Life of Pi (Winner) Original Song “Skyfall,” Skyfall (Music by: Adele, Paul Epworth Lyrics by: Adele, Paul Epworth) – Winner TELEVISION CATEGORIES TV Series, Drama Homeland (Winner) Actor, TV Drama Damian Lewis, Homeland (Winner) Actress, TV Drama Claire Danes, Homeland (Winner) TV Series, Musical or Comedy Girls (Winner) Actor, TV Musical or Comedy Don Cheadle, House of Lies (Winner) Actress, TV Musical or Comedy Lena Dunham, Girls (Winners) TV Movie or Miniseries Game Change (Winner) Actor, Miniseries or TV Movie Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys (Winner) Actress, Miniseries or TV Movie Julianne Moore, Game Change (Winner) Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie Ed Harris, Game Change (Winner) Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey , Season 2 (Winner) Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award Jodie Foster (previously announced)
Admit it — Justin Bieber looks kind of hilarious on this fishing boat. So Justin Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez recently went on something called a “romantic fishing trip” while Selena's in Florida filming her new movie … Visit link: Star Spotting: Justin Bieber On A Fishing Boat Or Your Uncle Bob?
‘It was such an idiotic thing to have happen,’ Rob Cesternino tells MTV News of the men giving up immunity for a trip to tribal council. By Josh Wigler Bill Posley, of the Manono Tribe in “Survivor: One World” Photo: CBS And just like that, the whole Manono tribe has officially joined the “Survivor” Hall of Shame. After winning immunity in a blowout challenge against Salani and recapturing momentum in the process, the men of Manono flushed their good fortune down the toilet by volunteering to go to tribal council in place of the women. Their reason: to vote out one of their own, Leif, who “betrayed” the tribe’s core alliance by telling stand-up comedian Bill, the unwitting nemesis of newly anointed Manono mastermind Colton, that he was next on the chopping block. After a racially tense tribal council, however, it was Colton who had the last laugh, and Bill — not Leif — was sent packing. Manono’s unanimous decision to exchange immunity for an early trip to tribal council goes down as one of the single-most confounding, moronic moves in “Survivor” history. At least, that’s my take. Good thing we have the smartest player to never win the game, two-time contestant Rob Cesternino , to weigh in with his thoughts on this week’s unprecedented episode of “Survivor.” Keep reading for his take on Manono’s controversial move, Colton’s sudden rise to power and more. MTV : OK, Rob. My head has not stopped spinning since the last 10 minutes of that episode. What was your reaction on seeing Manono’s “plan” go into action? Rob Cesternino : It really was such an idiotic thing to have happen on this show. I’ve seen a lot of dumb things happen in the history of this show, but usually the dumbness is confined to one person making a dumb move. Usually, the groupthink doesn’t invade a whole team of people, which is what happened here. It’s pretty remarkable. It’s a remarkable event that eight people went along with an idea that was so insane. MTV : So, just to clarify: This was not some brilliant outside-the-box thinking that I can’t wrap my head around. This could very well be the single stupidest move in “Survivor” history. Cesternino : Well, I don’t think it’s the single dumbest thing that’s ever happened. I still think that belongs to ice-cream scooper Erik [from “Survivor: Fans versus Favorites,” who was voted out after surrendering his idol to a chief competitor], with Brandon Hantz [from “Survivor: South Pacific,” voted out in similar fashion] being second. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this, though. Is there any sort of strategic advantage to the men’s decision? I really can’t come up with anything. The best I can come up with is that maybe for Colton, he feels that he has the girls in his pocket and he has a bunch of guys he’s working with. “As long as I’m getting rid of somebody who isn’t working with me, better than sending the girls to vote out someone who I have a good relationship with.” But just from the beating that Colton took at tribal council from both Bill and Jeff Probst, it’s not a good thing for his reputation to continue taking a pummeling like that. MTV : Colton has been and continues to be an absurd character. He’s like the homesick camper who cries and cries nonstop the first week, then comes back strong and rules the bunk as a dictator the rest of the summer. How did that happen? What do you think? Are the men following him out of fear? Loyalty? Is it the idol in his pocket? Cesternino : I think there’s some fear there. I think also some of these men are just along for the ride, and that’s not necessarily a bad strategy. Jay, Jonas, Leif, these guys are just sort of more followers. Troyzan and Tarzan feel like more in cahoots with what Colton is doing. Then there are a few who are just outnumbered and are going along with it, not trying to upset the apple cart. Colton does have a very dominating personality. I’m sure there’s some charisma there. Most of the offensive things he’s saying are just to us, the audience. So I’m sure he can be charming. But I’m not sure exactly if it plays out this way every season, but right now, there’s a combustible enough combination out there for Colton to be successful right now. MTV : Everyone on Manono had to agree to make this choice to go to tribal council. If you’re out there, how do you say no? Can you say no? There has to be a way you can say no to that without looking like a jerk, right? It’s such a blatantly boneheaded move — would it really alienate you that much to go against the majority on this one? Cesternino : This is the part that was really insane. “We’re all going to tribal council, but it has to be unanimous!” First of all, they said they’re going to vote Leif off — I don’t know how much that’s a smokescreen to get Bill to vote yes, but that even seems more idiotic. Why do you need a unanimous vote to vote somebody off? Why Bill agreed with it, I’ll never know. But why did Leif agree to this plan? I’ll never know! How much of this was misdirection? Because he only got Bill’s vote at tribal council. If Bill went, “You know, not good. I’m going to vote no on tribal council.” What do they say? “Well, you’re outvoted, and now we’re voting you out.” I don’t know. It didn’t make much sense to me. MTV : I guess part of that might be that Leif seemed to feel genuinely terrible about spilling the beans to Bill, and Bill just seems like a bit of a dummy in the game of “Survivor,” and was once again way too excited to dodge a bullet that was headed directly to his face. If the two people who really needed to object were a) too guilty to say no and b) completely unaware of how much trouble they’re really in, I guess they’d vote yes? Cesternino : I don’t know. Why would Bill want to get rid of that padding? If there’s a person between you going home and someone else going home, that’s an airbag for you. That’s keeping you alive in the game. Why you would want to accelerate getting rid of that person by going to tribal council [voluntarily] — all of this could have played out further into the game. There’s always the chance that politics could change, there could be a switch, a merge. Time is your friend in this game when you’re in that position. MTV : There was some amazingly absurd foreshadowing when you see Leif in the box at the very beginning of the episode, which was just such a ridiculous visual. It portended some doom for this guy. But honestly, I don’t think Leif did anything so egregious to warrant such a turnaround from his tribemates. Clearly he slipped up and that wasn’t smart, but does anything he did warrant the reaction he got last night? Cesternino : No, I thought everything was overblown with Leif. Who cares if Bill knows he’s next to go? It’s not like he has an immunity idol or anything like that. I didn’t think that was such a big deal. I thought Colton’s reaction was over-the-top, but Tarzan’s too. Didn’t it seem like Tarzan was talking to Leif like he was a Chihuahua? “That was bad, Leif! Get in your box, Leif!” [Laughs] I thought that was so over-the-top. And honestly, this was the most we’ve seen of Leif so far, and I really liked Leif. He seems like a nice guy. MTV : Well, there’s more to talk about in this episode, but Manono’s decision is such a lightning rod that it’s hard to focus on anything else. But what do you think: Who, if anyone, is playing the game well right now? Cesternino : I think one of the guys who still looks good is Jonas. Even though he’s going along with bad ideas, he’s not rocking the boat that much. I didn’t like how he negotiated with the women; he came off bad there, negotiating about using their fishing net. He looks easygoing enough to follow along in the aftermath of Colton and continue to advance in the game, though. MTV : And who doesn’t look good? Everybody ? Cesternino : Well, for the women, Alicia continues to get into arguments with people where she doesn’t really have a conflict. She’s continuing to create tension wherever she goes in the game, and that’s not usually a good formula for success. MTV : She was also instrumental in Salani losing immunity. Hypothetically, if things had played out as they should have played out and the women were sent packing to tribal, would Alicia have gone home? Cesternino : Hmm. [ Pauses ] Her name was coming up, but I think Christina would still have been the one to go. Much like Cat versus Nina , the person inside of the alliance, even if they’re deserving of going home, probably stays over the person not in the alliance. Get more of Rob’s thoughts on “Survivor” at his website . What did you think of last night’s episode? Sound off in the comments section or hit me up on Twitter @roundhoward !
Although it’s set in the present, the characters in Lasse Hallström’s Salmon Fishing in the Yemen seem to have been imported from a different time. The good ones behave in a courtly manner and speak in dignified tones and the rascals twinkle and flounce. Often the effect of Simon Beaufoy’s script (adapted from Paul Torday’s 2007 novel) is refreshing, due in no small part to the congenital irresistibility of the actors speaking his lines — Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt and Kristin Scott Thomas. It’s when the adorably priggish Cary Grant type is accused of having Asperger’s by his plucky but labile future love interest and the benevolent Sheik bankrolling the duo’s wacky experiment is nearly assassinated by Yemeni jihadists that things get to feel a little pear-shaped. Things open on a sprightly note: Harriet (Blunt), the attaché to a wealthy Arab Sheik (Amr Waked), taps off an email to Dr. Alfred Jones (McGregor), a fisheries scientist with a government job, about the Sheik’s desire to fill the Yemen River with North Atlantic salmon. Whatever the Sheik wants the Sheik gets, although his reasons are never really clear — or convincing, anyway. Although all the salmon fishing any man could want is available at his English estate, we are supposed to believe the Sheik has a vision of bringing two worlds together. This is all British diplomatic relations guru Patricia Maxwell (Scott Thomas) needs to hear. After a decade of war in the Middle East, the Sheik’s plan looks like a human interest oasis in a PR desert. Fred’s not having it, of course. Fred’s not having much of anything, including his awful wife (Rachel Stirling). Although McGregor is novel as the endearing but highly repressed nerd, his scenes with Stirling — who treats Fred like a pet who has outlived his welcome — are the only ones in which he feels a little miscast. Middle aged and stagnant is not a look McGregor can pull off quite yet; even his most consternated furrow feels a beat away from that wolfy grin. He’s more natural with a fellow ingénue like Blunt, and their scenes together are charming enough to give the story and its sleepy, slightly TV movie-ish pacing that something extra. Fifty million pounds and a weekend seduction at his sprawling estate convince Fred to help the Sheik with his idea, and the rest of the film involves the trio working together to stock a desert river with salmon and see if they’ll swim upstream. Even if you don’t think this seems like a horrible idea in every possible way, it’s tough to get too excited: Hallström is like a human shock absorber, and that smoothness is reflected in every emotionally airbrushed moment, whether Blunt is mourning for her new boyfriend (Tom Mison) — who disappears mysteriously after being deployed to Afghanistan — or those angry terrorists who seem to have escaped from another movie are trying to pop off our handsome Magic Arab. When the recessive style works with the characters and the kooky international-incident story, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen has an absorbing, old-fashioned sweetness. The crackle of Scott Thomas’s performance — rarely has someone had more fun saying ahhhh- sss — cuts the breathless tension developing between Fred and Mary, and the exotic settings are just fabulous enough to sweep you away. But when the blend of classic and hyper-contemporary are not working together they are working against each other, making for some pretty jarring tonal lurches. We see Muslim men praying several times throughout the film, and when the script finally pauses to address it, the general wistful tone feels disingenuous: “I don’t know anyone who goes to church anymore,” Fred says in wonderment. “On Sundays we go to Target.” I imagine in the fullness of the novel a line like that has the resonance of context and perhaps even self-satire. In this often perilously simplistic film it just comes off as dopey. It’s too bad Blunt and McGregor have to compete with the flimsy conceit holding the story together. They make a lovely couple, even buried behind a heightened writerly style and the awkward persistence of those cliff-scrambling extremists. Surely there’s a sympathetic Sheik out there with fifty million to drop on a second go around? Follow Michelle Orange on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Well done yet again, Internet. Apparently lacking anything better to do for the next minute and a half, this girl decided she would attempt the impossible – sneezing without closing your eyes. Ever see anyone pull that feat off? Didn’t think so. Well, America is about bold ideas and people willing to push the limits of human creativity and willpower. Don’t even front like you don’t care or you’re not gonna watch: Sneezing With Eyes Open
After the return and exit of Shawntel Newton last week, The Bachelor settled back into its normal routine of ridiculous dates, cat-fighting and emotional turmoil Monday. The Bachelor spoilers we’ve read actually didn’t include much on this episode, including who would get the boot. So it was interesting to watch unfold in that sense. Ben Flajnik took the ladies on a BREATHTAKING horseback riding date, and later fly fishing, getting the women wet in a way they never imagined. Most likely. One lucky bachelorette also won a private show from country singer Clay Walker … but was there a rose in tow? And Courtney Robertson , as always, was insane. Please, join us for THG’s +/-
I don’t know if you can tell by its freakishly quirky title, but Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is freakishly quirky. Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt, and a suddenly super-droll Kristen Scott Thomas star in what appears to be a Middle Eastern-set romcom with kooky supporting characters. There’s also a chance that it’s an Eat, Pray, Love for downtrodden white men, which would be despicable. You figure it out.
