Tag Archives: for the fellas

Bossip I have a topic for your “Sextra” post! I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and we have amazing sex. When we first started dating we talked about different things that turned us on and he talked about some of things that tuned us on and his thing was porn. He knows a lot of the female porn stars and all but it’s not my twist. When I was single I did watch porn occasionally when I need to handle my business but other than that I’m just not into it!! He always said he wanted to watch one with me to see what it did to me but I can bring myself to watch one with him because I feel like it’s going to take away from the intimacy we share and I don’t want to corrupt that with porn you know what I’m saying? Am I being to anal (no pun lol) or should I give it a try? I want to please him sexually but I feel like somethings are unnecessary. What would you do? Happy Friday to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! Okay, so you’re struggling with pushing some bedroom boundaries a bit, huh? Well, the thing about adult films and watching them as couple is the sense of escapism or voyeurism, as if the moment is being shared by more than just the two of you. So, no doubt, one could relate to the feeling of being somewhat violated or as if the intimacy is being shared by more than just you and your boyfriend! That’s a hard boundary to cross for many. If that’s what it takes to “please him sexually” then you may want to reconsider what you want out the your relationship versus what you’re getting. Like you mentioned in your letter, you watched pornography by yourself when you felt the urge to “handle your business” and the pornographic experience is different for everybody who chooses to indulge! Some watch it in secret and would never admit to anyone that they do, in fact, watch in the first place and, second, get aroused by it! Then you have those who are on the opposite end of spectrum – they might get off to porn on the regular basis, have no shame about it and would be willing to share some of the best performers, their specialties and what they’ve learned from them. Everyone else in between has their own feelings towards it and participate accordingly, whether it be at random out of curiosity or to pick up a few “techniques” or whenever you need a little visual stimulation to “handle your business!” Everyone is different and watches for different reasons! If your reason is limited to your private moments and that’s where you’d like to keep it, that is your choice. Sis, here’s the deal, you should only do what you are comfortable with and he shouldn’t pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do. If it’s something you don’t feel comfortable with, he should respect your wishes without question. If it’s something that you’re open to but not at this particular junction in your relationship, let it be known and tell him he’ll be the first to know once you warm up enough to the idea to try it. once again, it cannot be stresses enough, communication is key! So, if it’s a firm “no” let him know and don’t waver. If it’s something you’re willing to try in time but you need him to back off it a little, tell him! Be honest with yourself first, sis! Be honest with yourself! Best of luck to you! What do you think, Bossip fam? Please share your thoughts below! Have a wonderful weekend and please remember to email all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com !

Read the rest here:
Sextra: I Can’t Bring Myself to Watch Porn With Him