The first half hour of Here Comes the Boom is so good moviegoers might be fooled into expecting something better than an obvious wish fulfillment fantasy so patently implausible it’s almost insulting. Sadly, those moviegoers would be wrong. Star, producer, and co-writer Kevin James creates a witty, confident everyman in the first act, only to sacrifice him to the pic’s demands for formula and sentimentality thereafter. James plays Scott Voss, a Boston high school biology teacher sunk in a bog of laziness and apathy. He’s the kind of cartoonishly bad educator who arrives late to class every morning and ignores his students while reading the paper with his feet propped on his desk. Yet Scott’s extremely likable all the same: he’s smart, funny, and not too jaded to be inspired by Marty (Henry Winkler), the goofy but saintly music teacher. There’s even a hint of sexual charisma in his failed flirtations with the school nurse (a pleasingly age-appropriate Salma Hayek). The plot gets rolling when the principal (Greg Germann) announces that budget cuts will force the imminent shutdown of the music program. Knowing that Marty is the school’s best teacher, and the father of a surprise late-in-life baby, Scott vows to raise the $48,000 needed to keep the music program running. This promise first leads him to teaching citizenship classes at night school, then inexplicably becoming a cage fighter. Here’s a thought experiment: Is there any way Scott’s four-month journey from middle-aged lug with a few spare tires to mixed-martial artist fighting against professional pugilists half his age could work? Maybe if James was replaced with Tom Hardy or one of the Expendables in their prime. James’ arms are as thick as most men’s calves here, but he still looks more like he’s eaten a professional fighter than become one. It doesn’t help that the movie makes the mistake of having Scott recover as quickly as Wile E. Coyote, further defying its viewers’ suspension of disbelief. Scott’s hare-brained scheme to join the UFC world doesn’t just give the film a serious plausibility problem. It also lowers the character’s IQ by several dozen points even before his opponents punch him repeatedly in the head. Scott just doesn’t seem as smart afterward. The jokes get lazier too. The sharp zingers of the first act are blunted into broad gags, though the pic’s one gross-out scene — which stems from James’ consumption of a batch of bad homemade applesauce — is a hilarious surprise. Worst of all, the sheer unlikelihood of Scott’s victory sends the movie on the fast track to Clichéville, where underdogs win every fight and all fat slobs are secret mensches who deserve hot tamales like Hayek. Luckily, Here Comes the Boom has retired UFC fighter and sports personality Bas Rutten to inject some wild-card energy back into the film. A craggily handsome Dutch giant with a body built for hurting, Rutten is an UFC superstar and one of the hyperviolent league’s most winsome advocates. He’s also a delightfully affable screen presence and pretty much saves the film from drowning in its own cheesiness. Rutten plays Nico, a former fighter and current aerobics instructor who’s a student in Scott’s citizenship class. Nico doesn’t think Scott has what it takes to succeed as a MMA fighter, but he’s a supportive friend and a dedicated coach. Rutten’s character comes with an injured neck in his backstory, so the only ones duking it out in the ring are James and some anonymous muscleheads. The fight scenes are cursory and exist only to trace plot points, not to provide visceral thrills. There’s no movement, no chase, and thus no pleasure. The film’s climactic brawl, between Scott and a tattooed tornado of muscle (MMA fighter Krzysztof Soszynski), is shot UFC-style, at close range with leering, lo-res cameras. The black wire cage that locks the fighters in the ring feels claustrophobic. And yes, there is an alarming amount of blood. Here Comes the Boom is the first R-rated movie in James’ career, and thus feels like a risky project despite its reliance on well-worn tropes. The movie gives the genial actor a makeover by knocking out Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Zookeeper and replacing them with an edgy tough guy who sweats blood and knocks strangers out cold. You know, for the children. It’s that weird dichotomy between gooey values and enthusiastic violence — both the character’s and the film’s — that makes Here Comes the Boom so schizophrenic — and therefore, so interesting. It’s too bad the film’s far-fetched premise and R-rating will mean few viewers will be eager to swallowing James’ strange concoction of sugar and blood. Inkoo Kang is a Boston-based film journalist and regular contributor to BoxOffice Magazine whose work has appeared in Pop Matters and Screen Junkies . She reviews stuff she hates, likes, and hate-likes on her blog THINK-O-VISION . Follow Inkoo Kang on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead needed to prove herself. After years of hopping from genre to genre, she wanted to shed her Scott Pilgrim vs. the World dye job and bloody Final Destination 3 history and find a complex role that would be a game-changer for her career. Luckily, the stars aligned and landed her in front of Smashed director James Ponsoldt, where she not only impressed him enough that he didn’t audition anyone else for the role, but she also helped him cast her leading man, Aaron Paul . Mary Elizabeth sat down with Movieline ahead of the film’s Oct. 12 release to talk about crafting her recovering alcoholic character, Kate Hannah, preparing for the role without meeting anyone first — except for one wild night with Aaron — and sharing her modest, yet poignant, reaction to all of the well-deserved Oscar buzz. And as for all of those big blockbuster roles she’s been “passed over for” throughout the years? She spills about that, too, opening up about the truth behind failed negotiations and what she wants her career path to look like after Smashed . Smashed is a departure from your previous roles, including comedies like Scott Pilgrim and bloody gore like Final Destination 3 . Was it refreshing to play such a dynamic, dramatic character? Yeah, I mean it was such a change of pace. It was almost like changing careers because it was so different. It was great, and it was what I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’ve needed to sort of prove myself in this capacity for a long time — I needed to show, at least to myself, that I could carry a really complex role, so I knew that I needed to do it for me. The fact that people are actually responding to it is sort of above and beyond what I even was hoping for. How did this role come to you? Did James [Ponsoldt] say, ‘Hey, I want you for this role?’ or did you audition? I had been seeking out smaller scripts. I had been really trying to find something small and intimate, so I had a meeting with Jonathan Schwartz, who is the producer of the film. I didn’t know what he was producing at the time, but I just wanted to meet him because I knew that he had some scripts in the pipeline. After he sent me this script, I just flipped out over it and called him immediately and was just like, ‘Please let me know what I can do to just get my foot in the door and be considered for it!’ So then he set up a meeting with me and James, which went really well. After that, I just sort of took it upon myself to do an audition tape; I taped probably like seven, eight scenes from the movie and sent it to James. And after he and the producers talked it over, they cast me, which was crazy! I expected them to sort of see every actress in Hollywood and go through that whole process, but they didn’t. They didn’t see anyone else. And so it was really, really, amazing. It’s hard to imagine anyone else but you in the role — you embodied Kate to a T. How did you prepare? Is there anything you did in the audition tape that made it into the film? Luckily whatever I did in the audition tape was enough to get me the part, but from my perspective, in retrospect, I feel like it’s terrible! [Laughs] I did so much more work on the character by the time I actually shot it that to me it’s like night and day. When I look at that audition tape, I feel like I’m acting , and I feel like I was able to get to a place by the time I shot the film where it wasn’t acting anymore. I was sort of scared, even after I did the audition tape and got the part, because I still didn’t feel like I had a handle on it at all. So it was scary to me almost to get the part because I was like, ‘Ooh, but I don’t know how to play this!’ So I worked really hard. I really wanted to make sure I did the part justice, and I did whatever I could. I spent a lot of time in AA meetings, I spent a lot of time with James just really carving out Kate’s backstory and becoming really, really specific about that. And just spending a lot of time on myself and my own issues emotionally. It was a lot like, just, therapy. Working through my own stuff. That ended up being the most important thing, the thing that connected me the most to the character — sort of relating my struggles to her struggles and my issues to her issues, and sort of linking those two things up. It was an amazing experience. Is there anything from Kate’s backstory that we didn’t see that you worked together with James on? We talked about her entire life. There are hints at it throughout the film — you see her relationship with her mom, you know there’s probably a lot of pain there, especially childhood pain. And so we fleshed that out quite a bit with her dad leaving and what age, what age did she start drinking and why, and what age did it become her identity to be the fun drunk girl, and how that became so much easier to be than to be herself. How it became easier to be the drunk girl than to be the girl with all of these problems. So that was the thing that we really focused in on. You said you went to some AA meetings to prepare. Was there anything else that you did? I’m sure you didn’t go on any drinking binges to get into your character… Yeah, I went on one! I went on one with James and Aaron! [Laughs] I hope you weren’t on a bike. No, not on a bike. James was our designated driver. And it was in part to get into character, but it was mostly for us to feel the dynamic with each other — what we’re like when we’re drunk. Because the couple is like that so much; it’s how they spend their lives together, is drunk. So we wanted to kind of start off with that. And also it helped because Aaron and I didn’t have any rehearsal time. We had only met each other once before. It was a good way for us to get to know each other really fast. You know, when you sort of go out and get drunk with someone, you become close pretty quickly. [Laughs] It was a nice way to sort of expedite that process. And by the time we showed up [on set], we felt close enough to be able to go to those places together. Was Aaron cast before you or after you? After me. Everyone was cast after me. It was like a total shock. It was so crazy. I had no idea that the supporting roles were going to end up being these incredible actors. I mean, that really took it to a whole new level. I knew it was an incredible script, I knew it was an incredible part I was dying to play, but I sort of thought it was a tiny movie, that it was probably going to be all unknowns, and we were kind of just going to try to get people to see it and do our best. And then when they started telling me who was going to be playing the other roles, I was like, ‘Oh, people are going to see this! This is a real movie! This is really happening!’ [Laughs] So, yeah, that was incredibly exciting. And you mentioned that you and Aaron had only met once or twice before. Did you do a chemistry read together or did you meet at all? No. I kind of knew that Aaron was everybody’s favorite. He was my favorite, he was everybody’s favorite. [Laughs] We had talked about a lot of people for that part, but he was the only one that everyone agreed on. We’d come up with other names, but it would be very polarizing. Like, one person would be like, ‘That person would be great!’ and another person would be like, ‘No! Definitely not!’ [Laughs] But Aaron was the first name that came up that everyone went, ‘Yeah! That would be great.’ I still wanted to meet him, just because I didn’t know him personally. I knew he was an incredible actor and I had such admiration for him, but I also knew that I needed to work with somebody in that role who was going to be really open and who was going to be someone I felt comfortable with, because you have to go to a lot of humiliating places doing a role like this. You don’t want it to be someone who you feel like is going to be closed off or is going to be too cool to really give anything back. From the moment I met him, he was so open and warm and genuine and lovely, and just the sweetest person. And now I feel like everybody else knows that he’s the sweetest person in the world, but I’m like, how didn’t I already know that? [Laughs] I shouldn’t have even had to have met him to find that out. But it was great, and after I met him, I sort of told everybody that he was perfect, and then he came back. Honestly, your chemistry reads like you’ve known each other for years. Although their love story is far from perfect, If you take the alcohol out, could you see their relationship continuing? For me, having learned a lot about alcoholism and AA from researching the character, I’m very much of the feeling that they can never be together, as heartbreaking as that is. Just because no matter what they have that co-dependency that they’re naturally going to want to fall back into. And it would be such a struggle for them to have a normal, healthy relationship that it would make them both really tempted to go back to alcohol. And I think as an alcoholic, you have to really keep yourself in the most healthy of environments at all times. So I think for her it would just be a mistake to put herself back into that really unstable place. But I do love the fact that the end is so hopeful for him; that he is going to figure his life out. And that one day, I do think that they could be really great friends. I think there’s a lot of love there and they will be able to be in each other’s lives, but I don’t see them ever being a couple. The craziest part for me was that you don’t really see how damaged Kate’s life is until she really hits that downward spiral. That’s the thing. It certainly isn’t a message movie by any means, but we are kind of making a point that even if you stop drinking, it doesn’t mean your life suddenly becomes easier — it actually becomes harder in a lot of ways because you have to deal with your pain. It’s better, but it’s hard. It felt like a very realistic portrayal of alcoholism, especially with Kate’s two split personalities. How did you balance the dynamic of both opposing sides of her persona? What’s great about it is that it just felt like, for the first time to me, that I was playing a really whole person. Because we all have so many different sides to our personalities, but you just never see that on screen. I think that’s why it’s so surprising that it feels so different, because we’re not used to seeing people on screen show so many different sides of themselves — we’re not usually really allowed to since characters are usually more one-dimensional. So I loved that; I loved being able to do that. I felt like I was able to bring all the different shades of my own personality to her, and there was nothing that I had to shut off. Your chemistry with the entire cast — including Nick Offerman’s offbeat character, Megan Mullally as your boss, and Octavia Spencer as your sponsor — was incredible. How did you form that dynamic? I think it was just luck, and James casting the right people. We didn’t have any rehearsal time — we didn’t even meet! Aaron was the only person I even met before we started working. Did you all even do a read through together or did you just jump into it? No, we just showed up and just did the scenes! It was just one of those lightning in a bottle things where everything just comes together and everyone was so wonderful. We were very lucky. The most surprising part was that most of the cast were comedic actors playing straight. What was that like, both in and out of character? It was just really lovely. It was such an amazing group of people who are all just lovely human beings. They’re all super funny, but not in that way that they have to constantly be telling a joke or constantly getting attention — not in that way at all. Just lovely people to be around. So it was a comfortable, relaxed environment, and it was sort of like the film. We would go from laughing together to talking about more serious things. We just felt like a family. It just felt like a place that you could really be yourself, which was the ideal environment for a film like this. Now that you’ve done such a big drama, what’s next? Rom-com? Adventure? I know you’ve seemingly been passed over for some of those big blockbuster roles, including Cobie Smulders’ role in The Avengers . But if you took that role, do you think you would be where you are now? And do you have any hopes to be that big blockbuster star? Yeah, I mean, it’s funny, because some of those roles — well, the majority of them, I was just plain passed over for them [Laughs] — but some of them I actually chose not to do as well because I don’t really just want to be the blockbuster star, and I don’t necessarily want to sign onto seven films in a role that I’m not really passionate about. That’s actually happened several times as well, where in the news it sort of seems like, ‘Oh, she lost the part,’ but in reality, it just falls apart in the negotiation process and you realize that this isn’t really something I’m passionate enough about to agree to ‘X, X, and X,’ and sign the contract on. [Laughs] So that’s happened a bunch, too. Because I do really want to do films like this. That’s the majority of stuff I want to do. But unfortunately, you don’t get paid to do films like this! [Laughs] You get enough to go to a nice dinner. That’s basically the money that you get paid. So you do have to think about your career and making a living and how you’re going to do that. Going forward, I would love to work with directors like Rian Johnson and Joss Whedon; people like that who are doing big films but do have really independent voices. That’s kind of what I want to focus on, is always working with people with at least an independent point of view, even if it’s not an independent film. Well, on that note, congratulations! For this film, you already have a lot of Oscar buzz. What, in the perfect situation, would you like to happen next whether you win an award or not? I think for most actors, because we sort of have to tell ourselves this, we always say, ‘Oh, it doesn’t mean anything to win an Oscar!’ It certainly isn’t a goal that you want to set yourself up for, because then you’re just setting yourself up for disaster. Because how many people actually win an Oscar? So I would certainly never imagine that for myself, but the thing about those kind of awards are that they are completely life-changing. You’re given a power that so few other people in the industry have. And so that’s the thing, that I would sort of just want to use … for good! [Laughs] I sound like a superhero. But to help make good movies. I would love to be in the position where my name is a name that is large enough in some capacity to make things happen in the industry. To be able to fund a small film or be able to discover a new voice and give them a platform. That’s something I would really love to to do. Smashed hits limited theaters in New York and Los Angeles on Oct. 12. Alyse Whitney is an editor at Wetpaint Entertainment. You can follow her on Twitter @AlyseWhitney .
My name is Jillian, I’m 15 years old, live in New York and obviously LOVE this kid named Justin. I have had the most AMAZING Bieber experiences of my life. I’ve meet him 10 times and have seen him perform and do interviews live 16 times. I have been a true true belieber since ‘One Time’ and always will be. I don’t know why I have never written a Bieber Experience. I have so many things to write that I am so grateful for, but I am just going to write about what happened to me one week in June when Justin was in NYC. It all started June 18th when my friend Cat and I got on line at Macy’s at 4 a.m. to get tickets for Justin’s Apollo show. We waited hours, which actually flew by pretty fast because we made so many friends with other amazing beliebers while waiting. When they finally opened the doors, we knew we were getting tickets and flipped a shit. We ran into the store, got our Girlfriend fragrance bags, and an envelope with our tickets in them. We ripped open the envelope to see where out seats were and guess what? WE GOT SECOND ROW. We started jumping up and down like idiots but who cares….it’s Justin Bieber we’re taking about! We called all our friends, family and posted the great news on every social network possible. After we got our tickets we went home, got ready for the concert, and then made our way back into the city. When we walked into the Apollo and saw our seats I thought I was dreaming. After waiting quite awhile (cause ya know Mr. Bieber is always fashionable late), Justin came on stage! As soon as he came on our first instinct was to run closer to the stage so he can grab our hands, and that’s just what he did. We ended up being front row for the entire concert. This was honestly the best concert of my life. Everything was just so funny; when we blew the fuse, when they lost a kid, when Justin pushed Scooter into his birthday cake, when Ry Good told us we were gonna be stuck in here for a while and started throwing food at us. Then after Justin’s last song which was ‘Boyfriend,’ he ended up grabbing Cat’s phone and took a picture of us! MY FACE IS PRICELESS IN IT. Throughout the whole concert he grabbed our hands multiple times, made a lot of eye contact with us, and even pointed too me when he sang “Shawty right there” in One Time! I went home that night shaking just of the thought that this was real life, and not a dream. When I got home I picked out another outfit for the next day because I was meeting Justin at his J&R Believe CD signing! I woke up, went to take my bio regents (that I did not study whatsoever for) and made my way to the city. I went up to Justin and told him about how I was first row last night and how he was amazing. He was really sweet and even grabbed my hand! After that, we went to wait outside of MTV studios for Justin because he was going there after J&R. We saw him get out of his car, but seeing him for even a second is worth it to me. After these 2 AMAZING days I thought nothing can make this week any better! The next day, my friend texted me saying something about getting tickets to a Justin Q&A for Fuse TV. During the sign up process they asked you write a question you would like to ask Justin. I wrote, “Have you ever played a prank that’s gone too far?”. After I signed up, I got a email back shortly saying I received the tickets! So once again, I went to sleep feeling like my life was a dream. When I got on line with my friends, people from the Fuse TV were walking up the line asking for people’s names to cross off the list. When they got to me, I told them my name and I noticed instead of crossing it off, they highlighted it. I was so scared like maybe that meant I couldn’t get in or something! After a few seconds the girl goes, “Come with me” and brings me to another line. She then explains to me that I was one of the 5 people picked to ask Justin my question on National television! I STARTED FLIPPING WITH MY FRIEND LAUREN WHO I BOUGHT AS MY GUEST. I am not the loudest of people and kinda shy when I first meet someone, but at all the Justin events I go to I have learned that you need to get recognized and put yourself out there. I was so loud and happy and one of the Fuse crew members named Michael came up to me. He told me to follow him and at this point I was losing it from happiness already. He goes to me, “I can tell your a very very big super-fan and don’t seem to be shy around people, so I’m guessing you wouldn’t mind playing a Trivia game on TV against Justin himself would you?” AT THIS POINT I COULDN’T MOVE OR BREATHE. LIKE WHY WAS I GETTING SO LUCKY? Finally it was Justin to go on stage. The whole crowd went wild. After the interview he did on this other stage, it was time for him to play the game with me! I stood at the buzzer and then realized he was coming to stand at the buzzer, next to me! He got on the stage and gave me a hug. The he was trying to press the buzzer but he wasn’t pushing it right so I was like, “Justin you need to go like this” and then he got it and started laughing. I WAS TALKING TO HIM LIKE HE WAS MY FRIEND. I have meet him enough times to realize now he is actually a normal kid and finally I was myself around him. Next the girl explained the rules to us of how the game worked. He shook my hand. We had to answer a question about his music video on the screen. For some reason Justin wasn’t looking at the screen were he was supposed to, he was staring at me. I LOCKED EYES FOR LIKE 20 SECONDS STRAIGHT WITH JUSTIN BIEBER LOLBYE. I go “Justin” and he was like “Yeah” with the cutest smile on his face. “Look at the screen it’s the other way!” Then he finally turned his head the other way. After the whole game was over, I ended up winning 3-0! After he made a sad face and goes, “I’m just upset I lost again” with the cutest pout on his face. “Don’t worry I’ll let you win next time.” Then he goes to the crowd, “She’s amazing! She knows me better than I know myself!” and then gave me the biggest hug! I’m still flipping to this day. During commercial break Justin was still on stage next to me and he was on his phone, his background was so weird LOL. He then goes onto video and pans the crowd and takes a video. Since I was right next to him I legit put my face in his camera and he started laughing. We talked for a little, but honestly I don’t even remember our convo, I was too starstruck and shocked to remember it. Before he left there was one thing I KNEW I needed to too and I needed to break a rule to do it. They told me before the show that I was not allowed to take pictures with him because it would start too much. BUT YOLO! I asked Justin if I can take a picture with him and he goes sure! Since my phone was dead, I grabbed a randoms girl’s phone from the audience and took a selfie. Then I asked for a kiss on the check . I always thought I would be to scared to ask that but at this point I really felt like I was Justin’s friend, so it wasn’t awks at all. HE KISSED ME and that’s when I was just like what the eff is going on right now. Then he needed to go back to the interviewing stage, so after the kiss he said bye, waved and went back. I got off the stage and started to cry. THAT WAS THE BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY WHOLE ENTIRE 15 YEARS OF LIFE RIGHT THERE . Everyone came up to me giving me hugs and telling me how jealous they are and how lucky I am. After a little while Justin left back to his hotel. Since us beliebers are so hardcore and never stop, we decided to wait at his hotel. We managed to get pictures with Ry Good, Alfredo, and even randomly Chord Overstreet! We also saw Bruce and Vanessa! So that explains what happened to me during the best week of my life! To think that this week was just some of the many experiences I have with Justin makes me feel so grateful. Too grateful for words. Justin I love you and and I always will. Thank you all for reading this and I hope you can all experience something as great as I did. Just never give up, cause really…..absolutely anything can happen. -Jillian @JDBieberislife Watch my video with Justin here ! Excerpt from: My name is Jillian, I’m 15 years old, live in New York and…
A terrible story… 3-Week-Old Baby Mauled To Death By Pitbull In an extremely sad story out of Detroit, a 3-week-old baby was fatally attacked by a family pitbull while sitting in her car seat that was put on the floor. via Detroit Free Press : A 3-week-old girl was killed by a pit bull Thursday after her mother left her in a car seat on the floor inside a house on Detroit’s west side, police said. Sgt. Eren Stephens said the newborn’s mother went to a home and took the infant inside with her. The mother put the girl, still strapped into the seat, on the floor, not knowing there was a dog loose in the house. The mother, Stephens said, stepped away from the infant for a moment, but when she returned the pit bull was mauling the girl. The baby was taken to a hospital, but she died of her injuries. Police did not release the name of the girl or her 24-year-old mother. The dog was removed from the home Thursday night and taken to an animal control facility. The investigation has been turned over to the homicide division. Stephens said investigators will submit their reports to prosecutors, who will then decide whether to file any criminal charges. “It seems like maybe just a tragic accident,” Stephens said. Such a terribly sad story. Image via Detroit Free Press
Another day, another Glamour model in videos and/or picture, showing her pretty irrelevant, yet awesome tits….it is like these Glamour models don’t sleep, or maybe it is just that there are so fucking many of them, that there is just an endless supply of half naked busty trash that was meant to be strippers, only instead figured out the low level fame game, and I am glad they did, cuz otherwise we’d never be touched by their greatness on an emotional level, like we are after watching this video… Girl in kitchen looking hot…works for me….
I know she’s old and these pics are boring…but my recent fetish is moms who dress like their teenage daughters even if their bodies can’t justify or support it. It is so youthful and almost sad….you know all the desperation…holding onto what they had while jealous of what their daughters have….in what always makes me think I could get them to cheat on their husbands for one last attempt at excitement.
I love watching girls all bendy and erotic for yoga…it excites me….even when the girl is not quite a girl but all old as fucking woman who has fallen off in sex appeal even if her tits are barely in their 20s…..It almost inspires me to go to the fucking local yoga studio but won’t because I know I will likely die of a heart attack before ever getting a boner looking at all these women capable of eating themselves out due to flexibility…because I am not fit….but I am a pervert… I guess Jenny McCarthy staging shoots like this is just her holding on…because besides the humiliation that comes with it….there’s nothing wrong with that. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
I didn’t know who this Jena Sims girl was at first, but apparently she’s a former beauty queen. As for what she’s doing at the 007 event, I can give you two good reasons, and they’re both currently bulging out of her dress. And with a body like that, this girl can definitely go places. Like my bed… As a bonus, here’s a video of Jena in her new movie Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader . Huh, and I didn’t think those things could get any bigger. » view all 16 photos Photos: WENN.com
Dear Bossip , This is my first time ever coming to someone about this situation. By reading some of your other messages on Bossip, I feel that you aren’t biased and that is was I need because I’m soooo lost right now. Ok, me and my girl have been together for 4 years. This is an interracial relationship. She is white and I am black. She is 33-years old and I am 29-years old. This girl has stuck by my side through everything, and I mean everything; ranging from my crazy baby momma keying her car, to me cheating too many times to count, which is the stupidest thing I could have ever done. A little of my background: I have never been faithful to anybody, never in life. I have only had maybe like 3 or 4 girls that I could even say I have cared about. This is no excuse, but I simply don’t know how not to flirt. I had the mindset that I could be with any girl I wanted, which in all honestly has been mostly true, not saying that I’m God’s gift to women or anything, I just never had a problem getting the one I wanted or getting what I wanted. Back to the topic at hand, I have taken my girl for granted for tooo long. Actually, I am surprised she has stayed around this long. She has caught me numerous times. Once, she set up a fake Facebook account with fake pictures and everything. She acted like some girl trying to holla and I fell for it. I did claim her as my girl, but showed her absolutely no respect on the matter. She has caught me walking a girl upstairs to my apartment, and the cell phone is its own story in itself. Yet, through all this she has stuck by my side and never left. The cheating wasn’t the only problem though. I’m not a woman beater or anything, but we would get into fights sometimes, fist fights, but mostly just arguing about my “F” ups. Then, I would get mad, pull her by the hair, then leave her house or kick her out of mine. Like I said, honestly I don’t know why she has stayed around so long. We have had like week-long break ups and stuff like that, but most of that was me not wanting to be with her. I don’t know what my logic was. I know I have been stupid, selfish, and very immature, but I have never stopped loving her and actually her staying around has made me love her more, and even though it seems like it took forever I only want to be with her. So, like 10 months ago, which isn’t that long ago, I decided that I wouldn’t cheat on her anymore, which actually has been going very well for me. Our relationship seemed to be getting better. We have had maybe 1 or 2 big fights in the last 10 months, but nothing related to cheating, but that’s because we stopped disrespecting each other with our talks and actions. But, it has gotten better. We are madly in love. The problem is that she knows exactly what she wants but I still got some growing up to do. So, the relationship has been the best it has ever been for some time because I started communicating more, taking her out, and I stopped cheating. But, I still had a flirting problem and I still need to show her more respect in every aspect. Like three months ago, I came into a financial problem and after everything I was trying to do failed, I asked her if we could move in together. Now, before you start thinking I am a moocher or something, I have always had a job and have never batted an eye at doing whatever I could for her or her child whenever I could. I think that’s how she knows when I’m doing something wrong because that is like the only time that I get distant. But, anyway, she said I could move in. I didn’t really want to but it was the only choice I had to make ends meet. So, the weekend comes when I am moving in. She goes out of town with some of her friends. I get everything moved with no problem. But, I had spent just about all my spending money. I do odd jobs on the side to make extra money. I needed some money, so I had some computers that I had fixed for some people and I decided to return the computers to the people so I could have some money. The only problem was that I took this one female her computer real late that Friday night, which was an idiot move, but in all honestly all I wanted was the money. The girl that I took the merchandise to already knows about my girl and knows I love my girl. She even encourages me to be faithful and honest and tells me not to hurt my girl. Me and her are good friends, but my girlfriend doesn’t trust me around her because we used to have sex like 8 years ago. So, I go over there, my girlfriend was out of town. I should have told my girlfriend what I was doing, but I thought I would be in and out, no harm done. All we did was talk, nothing more, nothing less. I don’t even see this girl as someone I would have sex with anymore. She is just a friend, but my girlfriend is insecure with me around any girl and I don’t blame her. While I was over there my girl called. I didn’t answer the phone, which was another idiot move. But, I thought it was best because I didn’t want to upset her because I knew that nothing was going to happen, and it didn’t. So, that night my girlfriend had one of her friends ride by our house and I wasn’t there. I called my girl back a little while after I left and told her I was busy moving the last of my things. This wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the whole truth. When my girlfriend got back from out of town she went through my phone and found some texts and a call log that showed I had went to the other girl’s house. I tried lying to her about it, but that only pissed her off more. We stayed together after that, but this is where things got very sour. From that moment on it was like my girl just wants to fight with me. It’s like she wants to push me away. I have a temper and we got into one bad fight. I have kicked a whole in the wall, but I fixed it. And, one day, I was looking for a quick way to make some money, so I was looking to sell something that I wasn’t using. I was putting it in my car and she decides that she wants to start fussing. She closes the garage door, I forced it open and messed it up. But, me and one of her friends fixed it, and at the time I didn’t know dude was trying to get her, though. I almost forgot while all this was going on. We hadn’t had sex in like a week or two, and I still had not cheated, so I was very proud of myself. So, from then on out she would come home late or not come home at all, or just leave in the middle of the night or whatever. I still have been faithful through all this, but a time came when I was like, “Look, I know you don’t want me anymore, so let me stay in the guest room for a little while so I can save some money, then I will be out off your hair.” After that we had a talk, she said that she still loves me and wants to be with me, but that she has no trust in me and I understand this. So, we broke up. We still live together and sleep together most nights. She even gave me some the other day which was great!!!! I have been trying everything I can think of to get her trust back. Like I said, we still live together and sleep together some most nights. We still call each other pet names and tell each other I love you. I have been trying to do everything to make her happy. I want to be her husband. I want to be faithful. I truly love this girl and want to be with only her and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get her back. I just don’t know what to do because I have never felt like this before. She says if you love something you have to be able to let it go, but I don’t want to let her go. When I moved in with her I knew what I wanted, and I want our family. I just don’t know how to get it back. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time. – Want Her Back Dear Mr. Want Her Back , I love these conversion stories where folks are in relationships doing dirt, dogging their mates, freaking everybody but them, cheating, and lying, and then you have this aha moment and think that they’re supposed to forget everything you did and be happy you turned your life around and act like nothing you ever did mattered. Get the freak out of here! And, Whoop-to-MF’ing-do! You feel bad for treating her horribly for four years, and now you want to be the man she’s been hoping you’d had been from day one. Whoop-toMF’ing-do! You want to be a family now after she’s bent over backwards, stood by your side, fought for the relationship after she’s caught you cheating time and time again, and now you don’t want to cheat anymore and be Mr. Faithful-Who-Loves-To-Flirt. Let’s get something straight right now. And, you need to start being honest with yourself. YOU ARE A LIAR. Say it to yourself. Admit it to yourself. YOU ARE A LIAR. That’s it. That’s the plain truth. You can’t be trusted. You went to another woman’s house on a Friday night because you wanted to get some money because of your bleak financial situation (That’s whole other issue right there). This is a woman you had sexual relations with in the past, and you claim you’re good friends. Chile, please miss me with that bull-ish. You are not good friends, as you experienced that night. She is old p***y that is on reserve. That is all she is. But, when your girl called you that night you ignored her call, and decided to call her back later. WHY? If you weren’t doing anything, and you were simply there to get some money, then why lie to your woman about the truth? Oh yeah, it’s because you’re a liar and you felt guilty. Why didn’t you think to call your woman in advance, or while you were in en route and explain to her what you were doing and where you were going? Why couldn’t you wait until Saturday morning or afternoon to go to her house? Why didn’t you arrange to meet her in a mutual location instead of going to her house? It’s because you don’t think. You just do, and think about the consequences later. And, as a result you keep lying on top of the lie you told. SMDH! You are definitely not the brightest. And, this is obvious. But, know this, your past is indicative of your present and future. For four years you took this woman through it all, and you expect her to forget everything because you’ve been on your best behavior for the past 10 months. Really? Really! You’s a do-do brain. Ole doofas a**! And, I don’t care what you’re arguing about and how intense it gets, YOU DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS ON A WOMAN! Don’t grab her hair, shove her, mush her in the face, or pick her up to move her out of your way. YOU JUST WALK AWAY! LEAVE! GO AND SIMMER DOWN AND LET THINGS CALM DOWN. But, don’t put your hands on her. Now, let’s address the fact that you moved in with her to save money because you couldn’t live financially on your own. That is the only truth you have. You didn’t move in with her because you loved her, or because you wanted to be a family. You wanted to save money. And, the sad part is that you still have not saved any money because you’re still trying to hustle money. So, what’s the underlying issue you have? Oh, yes, you’re a liar and cheater. Thus, this issue will play out in all aspects of your life: financially, mentally, emotionally, physically. When you’re real and honest with yourself, all those things will fall into place. But, ask yourself, “Why do I lie? What am I getting out of lying? What will this lie accomplish and am I ready for the consequences behind the lie? And, how has lying served me over the years? Look what lying has gotten me.” By the way, this whole relationship is all about YOU. Re-read your letter and hopefully you will see this. YOU cheated on her for four years. YOU moved in with her because YOU wanted to save money. YOU lied to her. YOU did what you wanted to do, and now YOU want to act like nothing happened and that she should just get over it. Sorry, but if you want to get her back, and be a family, then start acting like a man. Start being proactive in the relationship, and give her everything she deserves. Make her feel loved. Make her feel desired, wanted, and needed. Buy her flowers. Take her out. Cook dinner. Treat her like a queen. And, instead of playing house, and you want to be a family, then get married. Be that man, and she will be that woman! But, you’ve got to make the necessary steps and strides to making her feel that she can trust you. And, it’s going to take some time, but you’ve got to earn that. You want her back, then grow the hell up, stop lying (be honest even if you feel a lie would be easier to tell, don’t do it. Tell the truth), and start working on earning her trust and love. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
And then hid the dead baby in a shoebox! Via Orlando Sentinel: A Polk County girl is facing capital murder charges this week after deputies say she strangled her newborn to death shortly after delivering him in her bathroom toilet, officials said. The 14-year-old tried to conceal her pregnancy from beginning to end. She wore loose-fitting clothing, manipulated pregnancy tests and finally, delivered a baby in secret at her home. Three days later, the girl’s mother smelled something foul in her daughter’s bedroom and found the full-term infant dead in a shoe box among a pile of dirty and discarded laundry items. Polk County Sheriff’s deputies were first alerted to the case Sept. 19 when the girl went to Lakeland Regional Medical Center for treatment for a purported miscarriage. She told her mother she had pain and accidentally flushed the fetus down the toilet. But when she talked to investigators, she confessed to having gone into full labor in the bathroom. According to the sheriff’s report, she put a towel in her mouth and turned on the bathroom water to drown out any sounds she would make during delivery. The 5-foot-3, 100-pound girl delivered the the 9.5-pound, 20.4-inch baby boy into the toilet. She lifted the moving baby and saw he had a pulse. According to the Sheriff’s Office, the girl then squeezed his neck for about a minute until he was no longer breathing. The girl cleaned up the bathroom, the baby and herself before putting the dead child in a box, according to information provided by Donna Wood, a Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman. Deputies said the girl’s mother denied she was pregnant though relatives suspected otherwise due to the girl’s changing appearance. She wore sweat pants and sweat shirts throughout the summer months to hide her growing abdomen and walked around the home with a blanket around her, an arrest report said. Wanting to protect the teen’s privacy, the mother allowed her daughter to administer two pregnancy tests in private that resulted in negative readings. The teen told investigators she killed the child because she was “afraid her relationship with her parents would change,” the arrest report said. An autopsy revealed the baby died of asphyxia from strangulation and blunt force trauma, officials said. The girl was arrested Thursday and charged with first-degree murder and aggravated child abuse. She is being held at the Polk County Juvenile Detention Facility.
