I have travelled, very fucking little in my life, but enough to know that I’ve never been on a plane where the girl sitting next to me looks anything like this, or stretches like this, or is on seats anything like this. I am more of the back of the plane, hit by turbulence, too fat for one seat but too cheap to buy two seats, sitting next to two other pigs in the same situation as me, our fat spilling over onto each other, cramming the people in front and behind us, all while sticking up the plane with our fat person stench… It’s like this Izabel Goulart shit should be an ad for business class, because it seriously makes me want to save up money I steal from my wife to travel business class, and not just because I hate the prison I’ve built for myself, but because of the small and unlikely chance that I’d end up next to plane porn like this…leading to me mile high clubbing myself until they have to make an emergency landing and I get arrested for being indecent.
Imagine finding out that the Kim Kardashian sex tape was produced by Kris Jenner. Or that this family’s reality show is actually scripted by E!. Children around the world are now grappling with a similar shock, as the creators of Hello Kitty made a startling announcement last week: Hello Kitty is not actually a kitty! She’s a little girl named Kitty White – and the little girl in the following home video is none too pleased about this revelation. “I hate it,” the child says. “She looks like a cat, she cannot be a human. She is a cat that acts like a human.” Check out the footage below and take note of the girl’s sister in the background, who jumps in to the confusing/depressing/anger-filled fray with a very good question of her own: Girl Reacts to Devastating Hello Kitty News We’re very sorry, young lady. But it could be worse. As this little boy laments in exasperation , your mother could be pregnant again. Here’s an extended look at cute kids reacting to stuff in a very cute manner: Cute Kids React to Stuff 1. We’re Going to Disneyland?!? What happens when parents tell their daughter the family is going to Disneyland? An awesomely adorable reaction.
Something tells us he’s not the most reliable spokesman on Bey’s plans… Mathew Knowles Hints Toward Destiny’s Child Reunion Tour Beyonce’s daddy is just running his mouth this week. During a sit-down radio interview, he let everyone know he still runs the show as Detiny’s Child’s official manager, and might be throwing Beyonce and crew back up on stages across the world in the near future. But…doesn’t he already have enough extra children (and baby-mamas) to manage? Via MailOnline : As the father of Beyonce Knowles and the manager of Destiny’s Child he’s bound to have the scoop. So fans of the Say My Name hit makers will be excited to hear that Mathew Knowles has hinted at a possible reunion of R&B divas Beyonce, 32, Kelly Rowland, 33 and Michelle Williams, 34. The 63-year-old music executive spoke to the Roula And Ryan Show on Houston radio station 104.1 KRBE and said: ‘Folks don’t know it but I am still the manager of Destiny’s Child. ‘When you see Destiny’s Child on TV and you see them doing songs together slowly, slowly – now they’ve done two, they were recently on TV – I don’t know, it might be another Destiny’s Child album coming.’ Although the group officially disbanded in 2006 and Kelly is currently expecting her first child with husband Tim Witherspoon, in June, Michelle quietly released Say Yes – a song which featured both Kelly and Beyonce. Mathew continued: ‘There might be this tour that makes history, Destiny’s Child featuring Beyoncé, Kelly and Michelle. Can you imagine what that would be like?’ Possibly…but we’re sure he could imagine the dollar signs associated with that much more clearly than he can see the fan experience. Keen to know more but aware Mathew wouldn’t be able to reveal too much, Roula and Ryan asked him to ‘cough twice if that is happening in the next year’, which he did right away. And although there have been rumours that the father and daughter are currently estranged. Mathew maintains they are still as close as ever. He gushed: ‘She’s still just my girl. We talk every Sunday. She’s still the humble, generous person she’s always been.’ Mathew might just be holding on to a bit of wishful thinking with this one. Kelly is damn near crowning and he’s trying to book her on stages??? Besides…if Beyonce wasn’t trying to be bothered with him professionally as a solo artist all those years back, would she really have time for that now — especially considering how far she’s come without him??
Kids often say the darndest things. Like ” F-CK! ” after being doused with water as part of the Ice Bucket Challenge. They also write the darndest things, as evidenced by the following spelling mistake made by a six-year old in Great Britain. Not only did this misguided young man believe “cinnamon” is spelled “semen,” but he also circled that it smells “good.” Fortunately for the Internet, this toddler skipped the following question, which asked for more details about the word in question and which likely could have led to some very inappropriate jokes. Don’t worry, though, anonymous little guy. Many other kids have made similarly uproarious spelling mistakes, starting with the girl who loves her WHORE family. Hey, no judgments here… 20 Awesomely Hilarious Kid Spelling Mistakes 1. She loves her what?!? The sentiment is very nice. And, hey, maybe the adjective is accurate. Who are we to judge?
You wouldn’t think our girl Claudia Jordan would run into these issues with men, but unfortunately she does. Listen to the audio player to hear five tips…
Liv Tyler was in Ibiza…on a yacht…because she was an unwanted rockstar daughter, who was lost, but then she was found, given tons of money to make-up for guilt and lost time, thanks to her whore groupie mom, before being sold off to modeling agencies and talent agencies to live out her dreams…because when your dad fronts Aerosmith, even if he doesn’t like the acknowlege being your dad…opportunities happen… She’s old, I didn’t like her when she was an “it girl”…but I do think Daddy issues are cute enough for me to want to buy her used bikini on ebay, if she’s sellin’ it… But then again, I’d buy anyone’s used bikini off ebay…if only I wasn’t broke. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE
My favorite magazine right now is GALORE …. I think they are putting out some of the best stuff around, and I am not just saying that because I am friends with the person who shot this magazine, I am saying it because I genuinely think they know what’s up…and I’m not just saying it because I think Sophie Simmons, the girl you didn’t want to have sex with on the Gene Simmons Family show, because she was fat, unless you were a Gene Simmons Fan, into fucking anything that came out of his cock, even a jar of his semen, because he’s brain washed you that hard… But I’m kinda into her leaner body, getting naughtier, posing in her panties, amongst black people…like the cream filling in an Oreo cookie that kinda makes me want to cream in her cookie…. Right? [galore]
Kesha posted this “bare” breast picture of her tits before the VMAs, because I guess she’s feeling better about herself than when she was the sloppy drug addict a few months ago. I guess rehab saved her sex appeal, not that she ever had any sex appeal..I just ARCHIVES OF HER POSTS and she’s been pretty consistently low level… But if she could take one thing from Katy Perry, tor as she likes to call her, her BFF who gave her a record deal to shut her up when all she did was whine about Katy’s success, it’s that you gotta show off them hipster raver club tit scenester tits…people like that. Here are a few more pics from her instagram:
#454196824 / gettyimages.com 10 – Lena Dunham is a celebrated TV personality, when looking at Lena Dunham, you’d probably wonder how that happened, basically discounting the entire Emmy awards and TV industry as a fucking scam, sham, based on who you fucking know, because anyone with eyes knows…there’s no room for this kind of monster in the media…it’s a vain world we live in, and this should have been taken out back and shot like the monster it is, back when it crawled out of the mother’s womb…so that no one would notice it missing…..She’s the fucking worst. #454196600 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 9 – Adam Levine and his Beard the Victoria’s Secret Model, or as I like to call her the girl his rich kid ass can pay enough to tolerate him, since no one can tolerate him. #454196564 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 8- Angie Harmon was Testing Out her Botox to See if Gravity or Botox Will Win.. #454196466 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 7 – Emmanuelle Chriqui #454195872 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 6- Kaley Cuoco in a Bow Tie Because She’s Already Won – with her 100 million dollar deal….who cares about an Emmy #454195456 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 5- January Jones Left Her Bastard Ashton Kutcher Baby at Home to Make an Appearance, because single mothers with billionaire baby daddy’s… #454195004 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 4- Melissa McCarthy Brought the Diabetes #454194704 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 3- Sarah Silverman Won an Emmy Because She’s a Serious Actress now – who unfortunately gets naked…because that’s all it takes to be a serious actress. #454194430 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 2- Sofia Vergara Took Advantage of the Cameras…because she loves the fucking cameras…and turns it on for the cameras…because the cameras are the reason she did all that whoring…they were the light at the end of her single immigrant mother hustle…and they are here now…so pose…together they’ve made it… #454193982 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP 1- Alexandra Daddario Showed Off Her Tits. The Internet Went Nuts – Now She is Relevant… #454193764 / gettyimages.com #454193760 / gettyimages.com CLICK HERE TO SEE MADAM MEOW’S EMMY ROUND UP
Kirsten Dunst is on the cover of VS magazine, which from my understanding is a pretty big fashion magazine, so naturally she did it naked or in lingerie…that’s what fashion is about. Clothes just get in the way and the irony of fashion nudity since by definition fashion is clothing…IRONY…. I guess it is to remind that Kirsten Dunst, despite her career and IMDB page is not dead at all..even though anyone you ask will just assume she is, she may still running around like a drunken fool getting in trouble and going to rehab…or she may have settled down thanks to rehab…who knows anything for sure really…other than that she’s got great heavy tits on a skinny frame and that – in a lot of ways – is all the genius you need.
