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Javi Marroquin Achieves #PeakBro Status, Opens CrossFit Gym

If you’re anything like us, you’ve avoided CrossFit and its enthusiasts with the sort of aggressive disdain that most folks reserve for sanctimonious vegans or people who love to tell you about their dreams. But for reasons we don’t fully understand, the fitness brand is wildly popular these days, and Javi Marroquin is looking to capitalize on the trend. Javi took to Instagram this week to announce that he’s opening his own CrossFit gym in Smyrna, Delaware, which is apparently a place. Marroquin announced the news with a triumphant video addressed to his followers. “DREAM COME TRUE!” Javi captioned the announcement below. “So I’m taking a big leap here and going to open up my own business,” he continued. Javi’s Big Announcement “This has always been in the back of my mind for years. “I was always scared to take the first jump and go after it. After talking with my family and loved ones, @crossfitkillshot will be opening soon in Smyrna, DE!” Javi elaborated on the news in the video itself, adding: “I am going to go ahead and open my own CrossFit affiliate called CrossFit Killshot,” said an exuberant Javi. Marroquin goes on to encourage fans to follow the IG page for his new business venture, adding: “Stay tuned for more updates.” Sounds pretty straightforward, but to be honest we have a lot of questions: Is Javi prepared for his insurance to skyrocket after a soccer mom from Dover inevitably takes a kettlebell to the skull? And what in the hell inspired the douchetastic name Killshot? Is it inspired by Eminem’s Machine Gun Kelly diss track of the same name? If so, we’re gonna have to go ahead and encourage all Delaware residents to boycott Javi’s gym on general principle. But the most important question of all, of course, is — what does Lauren Comeau think of all this? As you’re probably aware, Javi and Lauren are expecting their first child together, and they recently bought a house. So even though they’re not officially man and wife, their finances are pretty well intertwined. Hopefully, Javi consulted Lauren before jumping into this thing. Sounds like a no-brainer, but all those years of six-digit reality show earnings may have blinded him to the financial concerns of regular folk. View Slideshow: Javi Marroquin GOES OFF on Kailyn Lowry: I’m So Sick of Her!

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Javi Marroquin Achieves #PeakBro Status, Opens CrossFit Gym

Bill Cosby Impresses Fellow Inmates, Earns Prison Nickname

Well, folks, it’s been about 24 hours since Bill Cosby was sentenced to prison and taken into custody. It’s a positive development for just about everyone in the world, with the exceptions of Cosby himself and maybe a handful of wacky sweater enthusiasts. Considering he appears to have raped scores of women over the course of several decades, Cosby’s 3-10 year sentence is appallingly light, but on the plus side, he’s 81, so there’s a good chance he’s tasted the sweet pudding pop of freedom for the last time. Anyway, millions are rightly celebrating Cosby’s incarceration today, and we salute his victims for their bravery in coming forward and their persistence in seeing that this monster was brought to justice. Another group that’s rightly jazzed (Get it? Because he likes jazz?) about the Cos being locked away are his fellow inmates. Despite what Orange Is the New Black might have led you to believe, minimum security prisons are actually rather boring places where amusingly topical monologues are few and far between. So the arrival of a celebrity inmate — particularly one as famous as Bill Cosby — is highly anticipated occasion. “Prisoners are excited that Cosby is there,” a source close to the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections tells Radar Online. “Even the toughest cellblocks showed respect for him.” And it seems they’ve even done the disgraced comic the honor of granting him a prison nickname. “They’re calling him the ‘OG’ — lingo for ‘original gangster,’” the insider claims. We’re hoping that nickname is delivered with a healthy dose of irony, as Cosby spent the past 50 years chiding black men for the way they dress by day and drugging and raping women by night. There’s nothing remotely gangster about either of those activities. Earlier today, we reported that Cosby is trying to beg his way out of prison  by claiming that he’s in danger due to his celebrity status. Fortunately, prison authorities anticipated that argument, and they essentially shot it down with a statement issued moments ago: “We are taking all of the necessary precautions to ensure Mr. Cosby’s safety and general welfare in our institution,” Corrections Secretary John Wetzel said. “The long-term goal is for him to be placed in the general population to receive the programming required during his incarceration.” Sounds like you may want to get comfortable, Mr. Cosby. You’re gonna be in there longer than Theo got grounded when he took the car without permission. Zab-zippity! View Slideshow: Bill Cosby Sex Scandal: What Led to His Arrest

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Bill Cosby Impresses Fellow Inmates, Earns Prison Nickname

Octomom: My Family Is Too Damn Big For Instagram!

Natalie Suleman is the mother to 14 children. As you can imagine, she has even more trouble than most families when it comes to getting everyone together for a group photo. The results, however, can be pretty darn funny. Take a look at the photo of  her minimalist family , and read the (former) Octomom’s explanation for the chaos. Sharing the photo that you’re about to see to Instagram, Natalie Suleman — who no longer uses the names Nadya or Octomom — offers an explanation. “So THIS is what happened when we attempted to take a fun family photo with as many family members as possible,” she writes. In the picture, she is seated with only 11 of her 14 children. “Per usual, Elijah, Amerah, and JJ are absent from the pic,” Suleman explains. She adds: “(growing up I despised taking photos so I understand and don’t force them).” There is a lot of chaotic energy in this photo. With some different arrangements and more dramatic lighting, you’d get a Baroque painting. “Aidan had enough of sitting and threw his head back,” she explains. The result, as you can see, is that his head flew back dramatically, “nearly hitting mine.” “So,” she writes. “This may explain why I look, ummm … startled.” She’s clearly not the only one. Hey, children don’t generally want to sit still for ages. This problem magifies exponentially when you add more children. She also shared this smaller but much less chaotic photo recently. This was from when she sent her octuplets back to school. Like countless other parents, celebrity and otherwise, she snapped and shared a back-to-school photo on social media. Unlike the vast majority of those other parents … she had a lot of children in the photo. But she fit them all into the frame anyway. She’s had a lot of practice, just as she did in this image when she was feeding them all vegan tacos. Even in this image, you can tell that they had to go out of their way to fit into the frame. It’s so reassuring to hear that Suleman gives her children the freedom to opt out of family photos if they want to. (If anyone else has ever been forced to wear a  turtleneck  for an  hour  at the age of four for a family photoshoot, and still feels indignation at that memory, you can appreciate her parenting choice) It’s also neat to see that most of her children are more than happy to pose for the photos. And when it’s only the eight of them, things tend to turn out pretty well. At least, they do in the photos that she chooses to upload. We’re sure that she has plenty of outtakes that fans and followers don’t normally get to see. You know what? It’s been years since  Suleman stopped being Octomom , and we have to say that she seems to be doing well. We’re so sorry that she got so much negative feedback over supporting her family by stripping. There is nothing wrong with sex work, and she should never have been shamed for it. Sometimes, when people become famous, they just can’t handle it. Suleman is an example of that, but she seems to have adjusted to things. Her focus is on her fourteen children. That’s right where it should be. View Slideshow: 33 Nadya Suleman Pics You Don’t Even Want to See

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Octomom: My Family Is Too Damn Big For Instagram!

Bill Cosby Begs Wife: Get Me Out of Prison Before I Die In Here!

As you’ve likely heard by now, Bill Cosby was sentenced to 3-10 years in prison yesterday after being convicted of sexually assaulting Andrea Constand. The disgraced comedy legend was handcuffed and taken into custody shortly after the judge delivered his sentence. It’s been less than 24 hours since he was imprisoned, but already, Cosby’s booking photo has become a viral sensation, and reports about his first day behind bars are being gleefully shared on every social media platform. (A report from TMZ that Cosby’s first meal will include Jell-O has proven particularly popular.) Naturally, Cosby took advantage of his first opportunity to place a phone call, and insiders confirm that he contacted his wife of 54 years, Camille Cosby. Now, a new report Radar Online claims that Cosby spent most of his time on the phone imploring Camille to do everything in her power to get him out of jail.   “They took my cane, tie and shoelaces because they think I will harm myself,” Cosby reportedly told his wife . A witness who listened in on the call, says Cosby complained about the conditions and led his wife to believe he was in immediate physical danger: “He said he had a stale hotdog bun thrown at him and he fell down a few steps because he wasn’t being guided,” the source recalls. “He told Camille, ‘Grab the checkbook and hire anyone and everyone’ who could get him out as soon as possible.” Obviously, as a lifelong serial rapist, Cosby is deserving of absolutely zero sympathy. But if the idea of a mostly-blind 81-year-old grandfather living out what might be his final years in state prison strikes you as tragically pathetic, fear not. Life is easier for rich people everywhere — including prison. Cosby will likely serve his sentence in a relatively cushy facility for “low risk” inmates, and a team of lawyers will descend on the place every time a guard so much as looks at him askance. Fortunately, his treasured “legacy” has been thoroughly decimated, and Cosby’s many victims can hopefully rest easier knowing justice has somewhat been served. And with any luck, Camille Cosby will soon see the value in being free of her monstrous husband. View Slideshow: Bill Cosby Sex Scandal: What Led to His Arrest

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Bill Cosby Begs Wife: Get Me Out of Prison Before I Die In Here!

Counting On Recap: Kendra, Joseph Duggar Welcome Baby Garrett!!

Back in June, Joseph Duggar and Kendra Caldwell welcomed the birth of their first child , a precious baby boy named Garrett David. Now, almost four months later, Counting On has aired Kendra’s difficult delivery episode. As difficult as it was for fans to see her in so much discomfort, it was even harder for Joe. It was hardest of all, of course, for Kendra herself. Many Duggar fans were surprised when they learned that Kendra gave birth in a hospital . The Duggar family is big on home births for … complicated cultural reasons. “Kendra would lay down and she would have a contraction,” Joe explained. “So,” he continued. “The only comfortable position for her was standing on her feet.” She was having enough discomfort and difficulty that they went to the hospital. And that was a very smart move. Kendra kept holding her breath instinctively while in pain, but  Kendra’s labor would ultimately last 13 hours. As her contractions grew closer and closer together, her water still had not broken. Fortunately, she was in the hospital, so the doctor was able to help her with that. “Don’t push,” Kendra’s mother coached her as her labor grew more intense. “Just breathe.” Joe was riding an emotional high, but his actual feelings were very conflicted. “It’s exciting because our baby’s almost here,” he admitted. “But also it’s a hard time because I have to see Kendra go through the hardest time of her life.” When little Garrett David was born, however, Joseph was positively over the moon. “He’s here, he’s here!” Joe kept repeating. Kendra chimed in, cooing over her “sweet little guy.” Fans have known about this precious baby for months, but seeing his birth on Counting On gave them a whole new perspective. Part of the appeal of the Duggars is how viewers feel that they’ve been with the family every step of the way, even through births. That can really hook you. That said, a number of viewers can’t help but wonder: what comes next? Obiously, Joe and Kendra are busy being new parents to their baby and Kendra is probably still in the later stages of healing from childbirth. But fans realize that, for most of their marriage, Kendra has been pregnant with their honeymoon baby. What is next for the couple? A lot of married couples have a child early on in their marriage. After they give birth, they focus on parenting but still make time to enjoy their married state. But Joe and Kendra are not most couples — they’re Duggars. Fans figure that it’s only a matter of time before baby #2 is on the way. That said, considering how difficult Kendra’s childbirth was, will she be so eager to try again? And having seen and heard her pain, will Joe be in any hurry to return to a delivery room? Probably not. But they may feel an obligation to, either from family and community pressure or from religious beliefs. And if you spend enough time around a precious baby like Garrett, sometimes the pain of childbirth becomes a distant memory … and all that you can think about is how much you’d like to have another. View Slideshow: Joseph Duggar and Kendra Caldwell: The Newest Counting On Couple!

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Counting On Recap: Kendra, Joseph Duggar Welcome Baby Garrett!!

Dancing with the Stars Season Premiere Recap: Who Surprised?

A new set of celebrities (yes, ABC is still rolling with that term for these people!) hit the floor Monday night as Dancing with the Stars Season 27 got underway.  This is usually the point we talk about which of the celebrities are notable, but it’s difficult to do that when the show has such a random bunch who probably should not have made the cut.  But they did.  Let’s break down the performances on the season premiere to find out which members of the cast actually stand a chance at winning.  Mary Lou Retton and Sasha Farber We liked Retton’s chances heading into the season because of her stint in the Olympics. Athletes are more flexible than most, and cutting some shapes on the dance floor is the name of the game on this series.  They dance the Cha Cha to “Treasure,” and there were some glaring issues. It could be a case of it being the first performance, but she will need to loosen up if she wants to remain in the game.  Len Goodman did say she was “pretty nifty for fifty,” so there’s that.  Judges’ Score: 19/30 Milo Manheim and Witney Carson We had no idea who the heck Milo was when the cast was revealed, but after one episode, we’re sure he’s going to make it very far.  The Disney star performed the Cha Cha to “Free Free Free,” and there was instant chemistry between him and Witney.  There was some criticism, but most of that stemmed from him moving around at a breakneck pace. It turns out these judges want him to straighten his legs a little bit more.  Okay then.  Judges’ Score: 20/30 Evanna Lynch and Keo Motsepe Evanna was memorable as Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movies, and if she manages to battle the nerves, she could carve out a dancing career.  She was fast and tried any of the routines set out for her which is no easy task. She was rejected from dance college and is now looking to dance her way to victory.  She and Keo danced the foxtrot to “Do You Believe in Magic.” It’s unclear whether Evanna does actually believe in magic.  Judges’ Score: 18/30  Danelle Umstead and Artem Chigvintsev Danelle danced the foxtrot to “Rise Up” with Artem. Despite being completely blind, she aced the number.  The judges seemed to think so as well, calling the duo’s bond “magical.” Judges Score: 18/30 Bobby Bones and Sharna Burgess This radio personality went with a jive to “T-R-O-U-B-L-E,” and it was a surprisingly fresh performance. Granted, there were some issues, but for the most part, it was solid.  Judges’ Score: 20/30 Juan Pablo Di Pace and Cheryl Burke Did anyone actually think this Fuller House actor was going to be bad? The moment he appeared on the dance floor with Cheryl and danced a salsa to “Dinero,” it was evident he was one to watch.  Len even went as far as calling him “the hunk with the junk in the trunk.” Judges’ Score: 22/30 Nikki Glaser and Gleb Savchenko This was one of the more frustrating performances on the night. The comedian went with a salsa to “Yes,” but it was far too rusty.  It felt like an early rehearsal, and the judges pointed that out through their critiques.  Judges’ Score: 17/30 Alexis Ren and Alan Bersten Was this the biggest surprise of the night? Model, Alexis Ren who we had never heard of before her casting strutted her stuff in a poignant jive to “Good Golly Miss Molly.” She dedicated the performance to her late mother, and the judges were shocked by her dancing ability.  Judges’ Score: 21/30 John Schneider and Emma Slater At one point, John Schneider was very famous. Somewhere along the way, he disappeared out of the public eye.  He returned on Monday night with a solid foxtrot to “Good Ol’ Boys from Dukes of Hazzard.” We’re struggling to conclude whether the song choice was smart or desperate.  The judges were divided on whether there was something there, but we’ll need to stay tuned to find out if he dances to the Smallville theme tune next.  Judges’ Score: 18/30 Tinashe and Brandon Armstrong Tinasha is the only member of the cast who is still semi-relevant. It makes sense then that she would prove why she was still relevant with her dance routine.  Her jive to “I’m a Lady” oozed elegance and was filled with showstopping moments. Do we already have our winner?  Judges’ Score: 23/30 Nancy McKeon and Val Chmerkovskiy   This The Facts of Life star turned in a surprisingly solid quickstep to “It Don’t Mean a Thing,” and the judges had a mixed response to it.  She was by no means the best or the worst performer of the night, but there’s potential.  Judges’ Score: 18/30 Joe “Grocery Store Joe” Amabile and Jenna Johnson We still have no idea why Joe is part of the cast, but he kept a smile on his face while performing the quickstep to “Fish Out of Water,” and it was a resounding failure.  Will he self-evict or will he be headed home Tuesday night? Judges’ Score: 14/30 DeMarcus Ware and Lindsay Arnold This former NFL pro closed out the season premiere with an awesome cha-cha to “Sweet Sensation.” All three judges were enamored with his ability.  Judges’ Score: 23/30.  What are your thoughts on the performances? Who should go?  Dancing with Stars continues tonight at 8/7c on ABC.  View Slideshow: Dancing with the Stars: The Odds are Out! Who Will Win?

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Dancing with the Stars Season Premiere Recap: Who Surprised?

Megyn Kelly is Trying Really Hard to Be Relevant Again

Remember when Megyn Kelly introduced herself to NBC viewers by saying she would not discuss politics as the host of Megyn Kelly Today? Hmmm… perhaps we ought to back up a bit and first ask instead: Remember Megyn Kelly?!? The former Fox News anchor made headlines on a near-daily basis back during her time as a host on that network. She even hosted a debate between Donald Trump and the pathetic politicians he managed to beat out for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2016! Kelly was a relevant member of the press, that's our point here. Then, she left Fox News for NBC… stirred up quite a bit of controversy with her arrival … landed her own hour on The Today Show… and tried to become a Kelly Ripa-like television presence. Kelly was suddenly all nice and normal and tried to be the woman next door who just has a few kids and a husband at home and who wants to gab about the latest fashion trends, as opposed to the latest political happenings. Then her ratings tanked. Then she interview Alex Jones (!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!). And now she's irrelevant.  This brings us to Monday morning and Kelly's return to the political arena, as she hosted a round table discussion with NBC's Hallie Jackson, PBS' Amy Holmes and Rolling Stone contributing editor Joe Levy. The topic at hand? Embattled Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh and the multiple accusations of sexual misconduct that have been made against him over the past several days. “What a mess, that's a clean version of what I was thinking in my head,” Kelly said at the top of the conversation, later making it clear that she's on Team Kavanaugh and adding she has no idea why Democrats would push for the FBI to investigate the aforementioned allegations. “[The FBI's] not a super-secret special police force to investigate super-secret really bad things the nominee may have done. That's why we have congressional investigators,” she said. “The Republicans actually are investigating the Christine Blasey Ford allegations and the Democrats have refused to do so! “They're standing there in protest saying the FBI needs to do it, which doesn't really help us.” Two quick things here: Isn't the FBI precisely a special type of police force whose mission is to get to the bottom of confusing and complicated cases of national importance? The FBI did investigate Anita Hill's claims in 1991 than then-Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas sexually harassed her. Later in this segment, Kelly cuts off a panelist and emphasizes: “He's saying he didn’t do it. He's not saying that those allegations against him amount to nothing if he did! He's saying he didn’t do it!” Oh, well, that changes everything. If Kavanaugh is saying he didn't do something… why is this even a debate? Watch the heated exchange now!

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Megyn Kelly is Trying Really Hard to Be Relevant Again

Rob Kardashian: HOMELESS After Being Kicked Out By Kylie Jenner?!

For the most part, the offspring of Kris Jenner are doing incredibly well for themselves these days. Kylie is almost a billionaire ; Kendall is one of the world’s most sought-after runway models, and Kim is planning to have a fourth child by an eccentric sneaker mogul. In fact, all of Kris’ kids are crushing it in their own way — with one notable exception. Yes, we’re talking about perennial f–k-up Rob Kardashian. No, before you scroll down to the comments and point out that whoever gets paid to examine Rob’s bank statements is probably looking at some pretty sizable sums, allow us to clarify what we mean when we say Dream’s dad flat-out sucks. Yes, he has far more money than your typical 31-year-old — but by most accounts, he’s an unconscionable douche bag. Look no further than Rob’s revenge porn campaign against the mother of his daughter for evidence of said douche-baggery. Anyway, unlike the women in his family, Rob is burdened with an aversion to work, but fortunately, he never has to go far to find a helping hand offered by a gullible relative. For a while, Rob lived with Khloe rent-free. When she understandably got tired of dust-busting blunt roaches and Crunch Berries out from between her couch cushions every morning, she gave him the boot. And now, it seems Kylie has followed her sister’s sage example. Not surprisingly, the ludicrously wealthy Kylie owns several homes, including a $6 million 7,000 square foot mansion that, until recently, had served as Rob’s abode. Radar Online is reporting that Kylie recently decided to sell the property, leaving Rob in a lurch. The site claims that Rob is living in in less-than-ideal conditions at his mother’s house, and although he’s working on turning his life around, he and Kris are reportedly getting on one another’s nerves. “He is apparently working out a lot and looks really good,” a source tells the site. “He just doesn’t want to be associated with his sisters and their drama right now and is focusing on his daughter, Dream.” Rob is currently house-hunting, the insider adds, and while fights with Kris have been frequent, the momager has assured her son that she won’t allow him to end up on the street. “Rob and Kris will always have a special bond and she will always take care of him however she needs to,” the source says. Here’s hoping she never actually said those words to Rob. Dude will almost certainly hold her to that promise. View Slideshow: Rob Kardashian: Roasted on Twitter for Blac Chyna Slut-Shaming

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Rob Kardashian: HOMELESS After Being Kicked Out By Kylie Jenner?!

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Rekap: Pregnancy is SO Easy!

Breaking news: Kylie Jenner has given birth! We repeat: Kylie Jenner has given birth! What? You knew this already? It h appened way back in February , causing Sunday night’s brand new episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians to feel very dated and anti-climactic? Oh. Nevertheless, the latest installment of this bizarrely popular E! reality series focused almost entirely on Kylie’s pregnancy and labor. Early on, Kim joked with Kylie that her expecting state has been the best-kept secret of our generation,” despite literally every website on the Internet writing about it for weeks at the time. “Your friends deserve awards,” Kim told her sibling, adding that she was never able to keep her pregnancies quiet and saying of Jenner’s close friends. “Seriously, because now you know you have some real ones.” Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian Play the “Kylie Pregnancy Game” Later, while working out with her personal trainer, Kim was stunned when Kourtney Kardashian walked in and delivered the news that Kylie was in labor.  Kim noted that Kylie had asked Khloe to be in the delivery room, at Kim’s behest, while the family later gabbed once again about the secrecy of this birth (Kim: “Can you believe Kylie got out of the hospital with not one report? Now Caitlyn can never say we have big mouths and we leak everything.”) — along how amazing and how easy it all was. “It was such a positive experience. …  She would go, ‘I’m not feeling any pain,’” Kris Jenner explained of her youngest child. “She was so calm.” Oh, Kris also said she pulled Stormi out of Kylie’s vagina . “Ewww,” Kim replied upon hearing this news. “Kylie’s always wanted to be a mom so this is really exciting for her,” Kim told the camera, saying of why the young star didn’t make any official statement until after she gave birth: “She just didn’t want anyone changing her happy moment and her happy pregnancy, so I’m really proud of her that she stuck to her guns and was able to tell her story her way.” We believe her. It definitely didn’t have anything to do with Kylie’s shock and shame over getting impregnated at age 20 by a guy she had only been dating a few months . “I can already tell that Kylie is gonna be the most amazing mom and is so in love with her baby,” Kris added, as the relatives laid it on as thick as humanly possible. Eventually, Kylie showed up for dinner, Stormi wrapped up tightly at her bosom while making her television debut. “Now that it’s all said and done, what is your real take on pregnancy?” Kim asked her sister. “I liked it. I miss it,” Kylie said ridiculously with a shrug. “I had like, the easiest pregnancy.” What did she miss about it? What did she like about it? “You never feel alone and like I was really sad to not be pregnant anymore,” Kylie expounded. With Chicago Westin the picture  on the show, all that remains is for Khloe to give birth and complete the trifecta. “Khloe, I’m just so excited for you,” Kylie said. “I can’t wait.” “Chicago was like the new girl in town for like a day,” Kim quipped. “Stormi’s got three months, maybe as the new girl,” Kourtney said. NOTE : We made some fun of Kylie and company here because the news is just so old and the glee with which she talked about labor was a tad bit nauseating and absurd. But we really are happy for Jenner. View Slideshow: Keeping Up with the Kardashians: 14 Shocking Secrets Revealed! SECOND NOTE : The episode also included a memorial to the late family dog Gabbana. And we’ll never make fun of anyone for mourning the loss of a pet. Khloe, who had taken Gabbana into her home after Kris and Caitlyn’s divorce, eulogized the canine in a testimonial, saying: “It’s so crazy to me that a dog can touch your life the way Gabbana’s touched my life. … I could always hear her in my home and now I hear silence.” May she rest in peace.

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Keeping Up with the Kardashians Rekap: Pregnancy is SO Easy!

Farrah Abraham: Vivica A. Fox Is Trying to Destroy Me!

Throughout her years on Teen Mom: OG , Farrah Abraham set the bar pretty high in terms of drama and truly absurd behavior. But believe it or not, the reality-star-turned-porn-star-turned-celebrity-boxer may have topped herself in her long-awaited return to television. As you may have heard, Farrah recently appeared on Face the Truth , a new syndicated talk show in which D-list celebs and other unfortunate souls volunteer to have their lives picked apart by a panel of hosts. Why would anyone submit themselves to this sort of treatment? That’s a great question that we’re not 100 percent qualified to answer, but we would assume it’s for roughly the same reason that you hate Facebook, yet continue to post non-stop status updates: It’s 2018, and now more than ever, negative attention is better than no attention at all. Anyway, Farrah’s estranged mother, Debra Danielsen, also appeared on the show, and it seems Deb is convinced that her daughter is on all the drugs. If you’re wondering how she may have gotten that impression, please watch any existing video clip of Farrah, and you’ll immediately understand. Farrah, of course, denied the allegations, but unfortunately for her, it’s quite easy to definitively determine if someone is on drugs. And so, tests were conducted, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, Farrah had barbiturates in her system. Of course, Farrah subscribes to the Trump theory of reality, which holds that there is no objective truth, and if you can successfully deflect blame onto a rival, then you can never be guilty of anything. And so, Ms. Abraham gave a long, rambling, extremely Farrah-esque interview in which she blamed FTT host Vivica A. Fox for tampering with the test results: “I was just actually more disappointed in the press that Vivica had to do in order to get press for her show,” Farrah told Radar Online. “She’s like, ‘Oh, people are sending in letters,’ No. You have a fake audience, you attack women, your advice isn’t even credible that you’re giving someone as I do go to therapy, I do have family therapy ongoing with my mom. Farrah went on to make wilds claims about her own health that can only be described as “Trumpian”: “I take it upon myself to have the best health to not have anything in — anything my doctors give me. Their drug test was false. My doctors all looked at everything they gave me, there’s no Barbiturates in there. “Vivica’s been on reality TV herself so I guess if she wants to say that I’m trash — I work my a– off. Like, I’m filming 24/7 right now, I’m sick, I’m on a reality TV show set nonstop, and I don’t stop working,” Farrah continued. “That’s way more drive and way more hard work than a TV talk show where you should up and you do fake talk TV and cause fake problems.”  Vivica has yet to publicly respond to the accusations, which is probably for the best. For one thing, what we saw on the show speaks for itself. On top of that, this is Farrah we’re talking about, which means roughly half of what she said makes no sense at all. Plus, Farrah needs a celebrity boxing opponent , and we’re sure she’d love to lure Vivica into that mess. View Slideshow: Farrah Abraham Trashes Teen Mom Replacements: What Pathetic, Dumb Losers!

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Farrah Abraham: Vivica A. Fox Is Trying to Destroy Me!