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The Royals Season 2 Premiere Recap: This Cannot Come to Good

Television’s most fictitious royal family is back for a second season on E!, and where the storyline goes is anyone’s guess. If last night’s premiere is any indication, the series aims to one-up last year’s blend of sex, scandals, silliness and cringe-inducing burns from Liz Hurley . Watch The Royals Season 2 Episode 1 Online Picking up where last season ended, The Royals Season 2 Episode 1 saw Cyrus behaving like the poor man’s Henry VIII whilst taking fashion cues from the palace tapestries. If this show was even remotely clever, I’d ignore the factual errors pertaining to the royal structure of the United Kingdom.   The writing is crap, the acting is second-rate (soz, Dame Joan Collins, even though ILY), and the gratuitous shots of bums and drugs has me wondering if T he Royals will live long enough to make it to season three. The network’s first scripted series was given the green light for season two even before the pilot aired, which forces me to declare that it has both jumped the gun and the shark. For someone who’s watched The Vampire Diaries since season one, it’s very bold of me to declare this show the worst thing to happen to television since Hallmark’s William & Catherine: A Royal Romance . The plots are nearly impossible, and require several looks back at season 1 in order to keep up.   Cyrus paid off a doctor to declare twins Liam and Eleanor illegitimate (no blood test needed), but then King C. sends him off to Gibraltar for a three-year stint, which bums Dr. Life-Ruiner out because he did what His Majesty commanded. Eleanor’s persistent drug use is getting a little old.  Doesn’t she have enough activities to distract her, what with finding out who murdered her older brother and King Simon? If we could also skip awkward sex scenes (“si, si!”) and back shots of the prime minister in a leather thong and thigh-highs, that would be great.  There’s a less blatant way to show the darker side of aristocracy and money, but that would require an entirely new production team.   Cyrus had a swan cooked, then gingerly consumed its one-graceful carcass it as the show’s only light, Dame Joan Collins paid him a visit.   There was talking of gambling, debts being paid (a 20 pound note bearing Simon’s face, covered by another 20 pound note bearing that of Cyrus), followed by “Duchy” giving Cyrus the old “hip hip hooray for you, Your Majesty.” Jasper’s been reinstated, Ted the terrible bodyguard has a new roommate and Cyrus’ odd daughters are…I don’t even know.   Are you for or against E!’s soapy version of a monarchy? Follow the link to watch The Royals online and discuss it in the comments below! View Slideshow: 16 Times Prince Harry Made Us Royally Swoon

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The Royals Season 2 Premiere Recap: This Cannot Come to Good

Sarah Palin: So Excited for Bristol’s Baby!

The world still does not know the identity of Bristol Palin’s second baby daddy. But we do know how Sarah Palin feels about becoming a grandparent for the second time. “I can’t wait for about 45 more days, and I’m gonna have a little baby granddaughter,” Palin said this weekend on CBS Sunday Morning. “And I’m happy about it.” Is she really, though? Bristol announced her second pregnancy over the summer, coming across as clearly disappointed in herself for once again having unprotected sex outside of marriage. The reveal came just weeks after Bristol called off her wedding to Dakota Meyer. And Palin admits this is not the way she saw her daughter’s life playing out. “Heck no because being a single mom is, oh my goodness, my heart goes out to the single parents,” Palin said. “But my enormous admiration for what it is that they’re able to accomplish doing double-duty. And I watch Bristol do double-duty all the time, you know, with her little boy, Tripp.” In sharing the baby news on her blog back in June, Bristol called it a “huge disappointment to my family” but admitted “there’s nothing I can’t do with God by my side.” She has since amended this statement to make it seem as if the pregnancy was planned. Bristol’s mom, meanwhile, says any child is a “blessing” and has a response to critics who say two babies out of wedlock goes against all she stands for as a conservative: “Well, the cool thing about puttin’ your faith in God is he certainly is a God of second chances, and third, and fourth and fifth chances. I screw up all the time.” View Slideshow: 21 Famously Unwed Mothers In closing, because it has to be asked, who would Sarah Palin support right now for the Republican nomination? “I would say that fighter is Donald Trump , because he’s got nothin’ to lose,” she replied. “He doesn’t have to be bought or sold, obviously, especially when it comes to contributions. He is his own man.”

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Sarah Palin: So Excited for Bristol’s Baby!

Kate Upton for Harper’s Bazaar Australia of the Day

Big Momma Kate Upton is looking older, more sophisticated…like a mom of 5 who lives in a mansion up the hill…and who is walking around the grocery store with her two maids…pretending to be a mom…you know dignified… I guess it would make sense for Kate Upton to look 40 and like a mom by the age of 25…because at 16, her tits were bigger than your fucking head. Freaks of nature that hormonally, made you think, she’s probably going to be fat as fuck, this is unnatural, but that her parents figured they could use to set up her life and future….and they did… Despite, being huge, fat, disgustng, sloppy, broad as fuck…..she still never became a “plus sized model”…and despite falling off the radar, not really be anything special…she still managed to make 3.5 million dollars last year…in what I would have assumed was her worst year ever, as no one cared about her tits anymore…because new big natural tits took her place.. Kate Upton…pulled off a great scam…isn’t that hot, never was that hot, just busty…then fat…now this…a mom..and or a barn animal in a dress..for Harper’s Bazaar… If you care about the Top Model Earning List…. Here it is: 1. Gisele Bundchen: $44 million 2. Cara Delevingne: $9 million 3. Adriana Lima: $9 million 4. Doutzen Kroes: $7.5 million 5. Natalia Vodianova: $7 million 6. Miranda Kerr: $5.5 million 7. Joan Smalls: $5.5 million 8. Lara Stone: $5 million 9. Alessandra Ambrosio: $5 million 10. Candice Swanepoel: $5 million 11. Karlie Kloss: $5 million 12.Carolyn Murphy: $4.5 million 13. Kate Moss: $4.5 million 14. Liu Wen: $4.5 million 15. Daria Werbowy: $4.5 million 16. Kendall Jenner: $4 million 17. Hilary Rhoda: $3.5 million 18. Kate Upton: $3.5 million 19. Jourdan Dunn: $3.5 million Insane when you know as well as I know that people don’t care about these models, that people will still look at the campaign with no name models, that so many girls will model for free….who are hotter an more interesting and that paying models…especailly this kind of money is just a scam ad agencies do to keep the high budgets coming in from the brands…because if brands didn’t spend their 20% of earning on marketing, the economy would explode and they would just pay it to taxes, so you might as well go for the gold..or in Kate Upton’s case…the monster model who costs a lot… The post Kate Upton for Harper’s Bazaar Australia of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Kate Upton for Harper’s Bazaar Australia of the Day

ELsa Hosk’s Nipple of the Day

Elsa Hosk was a nude model before being cast for Victoria’s Secret when the company was going through a rebrand last year, after everything went stale..and they realized they needed new blood – featuring instagram models who work for far less than traditional models…because they were getting naked for likes before a big brand got behind them… Well, now she’s walking around with a sheer top – and in case you were wondering…still has her nipples… The post ELsa Hosk’s Nipple of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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ELsa Hosk’s Nipple of the Day

Liv Tyler Nipple for Yahoo! of the Day

Liv Tyler’s nipple is visible for Yahoo!, because Yahoo!, like Google, is a porn site, they just don’t market themselves that way, even though the number 1 thing they get traffic for, and monetize with ads is “PORN”….and why not use Liv Tyler as their soft sell approach to a porn star…because she didn’t have a father until she was a teen, then she found out her father was in a massive band and that her mom was a famewhore groupie who gets knocked up by guys in huge bands…only to leverage her new name…or his name that she figured she’d use professionally, because he is her dad after all, biologically..counts…and then she became an it girl…and now she’s old…but still has nipples…what look like real big nipples… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Liv Tyler Nipple for Yahoo! of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Liv Tyler Nipple for Yahoo! of the Day

Ali Michael Hipster Fashion Porn of the Day

Photographer, who I assume is popular on instagram, named Chadwick Tyler ..did this Hipster Fashion Porn shoot with a girl named Ali Michael, who at one point in time was about to be a hugely famous model, but she weight 105 lbs, which was too fat for fashion, before fashion decided to only hire these instagram famous girls who are pushing 130, and have parents who pay the brand to give their little babies the chance to live the dream…I call it the Super Sweet Sixteen era of brats having parents get them anything…even modeling jobs and social media fame…thanks to the ability to hiring the best of pulicists.. Well, it turns out that model Ali Michael has decided to go down the softcore erotica route, because even if packaged as “art”…or “who cares, it’s just a nude body”…and I absoultely agree, I don’t care. I love nudity, I’ve been doing this site for over a decade and always posted nudity that I didn’t think was porn, alienating myself and turning down branded ad campaigns, all because I though nudity wasn’t worth penalizing, and in my activist, lazy activist, way…this was my protest…only to tell anyone I meet, “it’s not a porn site, if this is porn you get off to, you’re fucked up”…not that that makes me more money, or gives me more credibility, but I say it anyway… But this shoot is pushing it…I mean it’s no spread pussy, no labia, theoretically just tits…packaged as art, because dude put a black and white filter on it…to make it more dramatic…and in my opinion lame…I only like black and white when shot on film because it was cheaper to process for the starving snapshot photographer before digital…in an era where dude sat and removed color to be artsy…and in and of itself that’s lame… What isn’t lame is that he has some dumb mode buying into it…on all fours in panties…and maybe this will go viral and get her acting jobs like she was Emrata, but I think it’s more a shoot that requires more penis penetration…why go half way..when you cross that line into pornography…just own it… The post Ali Michael Hipster Fashion Porn of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Ali Michael Hipster Fashion Porn of the Day

Kim Kardashian is Too Lazy to Adjust Her Own Bra of the DAy

Kim Kardashian doesn’t adjust her own bra herself anymore. She’s got someone for that because she’s just that useless. Just a pig, too rich and too lazy to do anything….unable to life a finger for anything, so lazy that she doesn’t even dress herself , probably doesn’t raise her prop / kid herself…and I’d be surprised if she even wipes her ass herself…you know just to feel all that money she whored herself in sex tapes to make… The last time a man was wrist deep with this Kardashian wasn’t between her huge milk filled, fat, fake tits…but was in her asshole… So I guess there are signs of her being more dignified….a lady…but not really, she’s disgusting.. Kim Kardashian also showed up to an event in a see through dress, sure she was wearing underwear under the see through dress, but she was still in a fucking see through dress…the beast is 7 months pregnant or some shit…never should a 7 month pregnant person, even if they are a pornstar turned reality star, rapper wife…no matter how fucking trashy, despite all their expensive things they are… BONUS – Here’s 60% of the BOTOX supply of Los Angeles The post Kim Kardashian is Too Lazy to Adjust Her Own Bra of the DAy appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Kim Kardashian is Too Lazy to Adjust Her Own Bra of the DAy

Carly Baker is Some UFC Ring Girl in FHM of the Day

I don’t watch UFC, but I assume this Carly Baker chick is the replacement of the other blonde one that got beat the fuck up by her boyfriend… UFC, like Ed Hardy, RIP CHRISTIAN AUDIGIER – THE GOD OF THE CHEESE DICKS….is designed or crafted for cheese dicks and trailer trash…. And the girls they use in their promo videos, like WWF, are these trashy stripper looking bitches, with fake tits, fake lips, and tight bodies, because it’s a sporting event… I am not against any one, even if I hate everyone, I always support sluts and what look like Vegas hookers who find a marketable angle…whether that angle is being the jerk off material to a testosterone filled sport that is followed by pretty alpha hetero anti-gay dudes…who get excited watching dudes half nakedly wrestle each other…so throw in the tits to give focus to the boner or some shit… Either way, Carly Baker. The post Carly Baker is Some UFC Ring Girl in FHM of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Carly Baker is Some UFC Ring Girl in FHM of the Day

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Social Media of the DAy

@devwindsor @barbarafialho1 fittings 2015. #devonwindsor #barbarafialho #fittings #victoriassecret #vsfsupdates2015 #vsfashionshow A video posted by Victoria's Secret Brasil (@victoriassecretoficialbrasil) on Nov 6, 2015 at 8:27am PST Vitoria’s Secret is pushing their fashion show on social media…to generate the first round of buzz before the televised event that I call their hugely successful infomercial..every Holiday season, the people who watch TV, get very excited about a brand that sells them garbage and a dream…while making them feel insecure.. So first wave is announcing the cast. Second wave is social media prep for the filming of the show, which takes place November 9, then they’ll release all the VIP red carpet pics…of the filming of the event…then they’ll release all the pics from the event…so that by black Friday…people are ready to buy their nonsense…and by TV air date..people are just fucking cumming VS…. It’s a scam that works… Here are a few of them doing fitness before the show…even though we all know they are actually just starving themselve before the show…who are they trying to fool into thinking these girls are about health and fitness…when clearly they are into starving, being skinny and fucking rich dudes… Here’s some other model babe who I’ve never heard of who got cast…I like this one….she’s good… A video posted by Daniela Braga (@bragadany) on Nov 5, 2015 at 11:12am PST Here’s Elsa Hosk in Catalog Pics – Bound CLICK HERE Here’s Candice Swanepoel in Catalog Pics CLICK HERE Here’s Monika Jagaciak in Catalog Pics CLICK HERE Here’s Lily Aldridge at some Fantasy Bra Event CLICK HERE The post Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Social Media of the DAy appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Social Media of the DAy

Khloe Kardashian Memoir: 6 Things We Learned

Khloe Kardashian has a lot to share with the world. The reality star has come out with a memoir titled ” Strong Looks Better Naked ,” passing along advice to fans that range from weight loss techniques to relationship goals. What are the book's main takeaways? To save you time and money, we've already read the book and we've taken away the following six lessons from it… 1. Khloe Hated Kris Humphries At one point, she references her “least favorite” ex of sister Kim and writes of how this person started “started complaining about life at home,” adding: ‘Why don’t you cook for me?’ he told Kim. ‘Khloe cooks for Lamar all the time.’ This happened in front of me, and it really upset me. I told him, ‘That is so rude! How dare you compare our relationships? And why are you being so aggressive? The right thing to do is to ask Kim if she’d consider cooking for you from time to time.’ He didn’t treat Kim with respect; he wasn’t kind, and unfortunately, he didn’t get my point, which I guess is one of the many reasons he is an ex.” 2. She Couldn’t Accept Her Father’s Death She was in denial about her dad’s death: “At the funeral, though, when I saw my father in his casket, I completely fell apart. I don’t remember the details, but apparently I was an emotional wreck, and I’m told that I was so distraught I actually passed out. At one point I fell to the floor kick and screaming, and I had to be sedated. It was really intense. I refused to believe my father was gone. I just wanted to believe it was all just a bad dream.” 3. She Went Through a Wild Phase Following the previously-listed entry, Khloe wrote: “That’s when the partying started.” She goes into detail about her hard-drinking ways not long after her dad’s passing. 4. She Loves Rob, But… “I love him and he knows I love him, but he fell into a deep, dark place and couldn’t find his way back. I’ve tried to help him, as has the entire family, but our efforts have largely been in vain. From time to time, though, he decides he’s going to fix things his way, and he plunges in headfirst. Inevitably, it doesn’t work.” 5. She Sympathized with Her Stepfather, But… Upon learning Bruce wanted to become CAITLYN Jenner, Khloe struggled to accept the change: “I had lost my father, and now I was losing Bruce. Bruce wanted to be a woman and I could only imagine the battle raging inside of his soul. My heart went out to him. But, I saw the transformation as a huge loss.” 6. She Will Always Love Lamar Odom We all know ups and major downs she’s been through with Lamar Odom, but she ended the book with this acknowledgement: “Thank you to Lamar for giving me some of the best years of my life and for everything you taught me about being strong. Before I met you I felt invisible, and after I felt seen.” View Slideshow

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Khloe Kardashian Memoir: 6 Things We Learned