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Hide Ya Kids: 33-Year-Old Catholic Teacher Popped By One-Time For Chopping Down 15-Year-Old Student

When will the teachers stop phucking the students? Teacher Arrested For Having Sex With Student According to Mail Online A former school worker arrested yesterday in Michigan for having an inappropriate relationship with a 15-year-old student has appeared in court. Abigail Marie Simon, 33, entered a not-guilty plea today to charges of first-degree criminal sexual conduct and accosting a minor for immoral purposes. Simon was fired from her position as a tutor and study hall supervisor at Catholic Central and West Catholic high schools in April after the boy’s mother found pictures of Simon in a garter belt on her son’s phone. Police also found text messages of a sexual nature between Simon and the boy and an arrest warrant was obtained this week. Simon allegedly had a sexual relationship with the student between February 1 and April 26 of this year at her former apartment in the 300 block of Bridge Street North West, in Grand Rapids. According the MLive.com, Grand Rapids Police Detective Amy Lowrie said that the alleged victim initially told police that he and Simon had sexual contact but then recanted his testimony. ‘Recently [he] has admitted that there was sexual contact again. And the text messages that were found in both of their phones support there was a sexual relationship.’ Simon was held at the Kent County Correctional Facility before the hearing today. Her attorney Michael Distel asked that she be released on a personal recognizance bond. Distel cited Simon’s clean record and supportive family and told the judge that she does not pose flight risk. The judge Patricia Schaefer noted that Simon has contacted the boy after being warned to stay away from him by police, and set her bail at $25,000. Simon posted bail this afternoon and is staying with her parents in Grand Blanc. Schaefer told Simon that she cannot contact the alleged victim or be within four blocks of him in any direction. A probable-cause hearing is August 23. SMH. Whoop her azz and put her underneath the jail.

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Hide Ya Kids: 33-Year-Old Catholic Teacher Popped By One-Time For Chopping Down 15-Year-Old Student

Pure Comedy: Slizzard Driver Breaks Out Into Dance During Sobriety Test [Video]

Don’t just stand there… bust a mov e. Man Starts Dancing During Sobriety Test According to Mail Online When Dale Bentley was arrested for allegedly driving drunk, he decided to spice up the plain old field sobriety test – by breaking into a jig. Bentley’s impromptu performance in response to a cop’s request to walk a straight line was caught in its entirety on the dash camera of a police cruiser that stopped the self-styled ‘lord of the dance’ in Gahanna, Ohio, last weekend. In the footage, which clocks in at 4 minutes 30 seconds, the 39-year-old man could be seen strutting his stuff, flailing his arms, swivelling his hips and laughing with the officers. According to a police report, the bizarre incident started just before 1am on August 4 when they pulled over Bentley’s car on Granville Street after he was spotted doing 40mph in a 25mph zone, the station WBNS-TV reported. The driver had initially refused to stop, according to police, but eventually agreed to pull over in front of the Gahanna High School stadium. Suspecting that the driver may be inebriated as he appeared confused, officer Reuben Hendon and his partner asked Bentley to step out of the vehicle and perform field sobriety tests. Bentley may not have been able to walk a straight line, try as he might, but that did not stop him from busting a move. Peep the video below. Who says white boys can’t dance? Gahanna Police Department

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Pure Comedy: Slizzard Driver Breaks Out Into Dance During Sobriety Test [Video]

Give Her Free: Amanda “Cray-Cray” Bynes Wants Out Of The Looney Bin

No Amanda, we think you need more of your “medicine” before they let you loose. Amanda Bynes Fights For Her Freedom According to TMZ Amanda Bynes will be in court Friday –TMZ has learned — and we’re told she will mount a ferocious fight for her freedom. Sources involved in the case tell TMZ … Amanda will be transported from the psychiatric hospital — where she’s been staying against her will for the last 2 weeks — to a courthouse where her parents will be asking a judge for a temporary conservatorship. We’re told Amanda will be transported by a hospital vehicle and accompanied by her lawyer. The only snag would be if Amanda goes off the rails before the hearing. Sources tell us Amanda will be speaking with the judge — possibly in chambers — so he can get a read on her mental competency. If the parents prevail, the temporary conservatorship will last until Sept. 30, when a full-blown conservatorship hearing will take place. If the parents get their way, Amanda will go back to the psych ward for further treatment. If Amanda prevails, she will walk out of the courthouse a free woman. Somewhere Drake is laughing.

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Give Her Free: Amanda “Cray-Cray” Bynes Wants Out Of The Looney Bin

In Busty White Folks News: Model Chick Kate Upton Says Married Or Engaged Men Are The Only Ones Thirsting After Her Goodies

Hide ya husbands….cause they probably want Kate… Kate Upton Says She Only Gets Approached By Married Or Engaged Men Sports Illustrated cover girl Kate Upton definitely has the goods, but she recently told Elle Magazine that the men who are confident enough to approach her and try to get them are usually already married or engaged. via THG Kate Upton dons a gorgeous red strapless Lanvin dress on the cover of the September issue of Elle. In the magazine, she discussed the downside of her modeling fame, specifically feeling terrible and like a toy after her first SI cover in 2012. “Every single guy I met was either married or about to be married, and I felt like I was their bachelor present or something,” she tells the magazine. “I’m not a toy, I’m a human. I’m not here to be used. I am a grown woman.” As for her current dating life … there isn’t much of one. “I really have never had a serious relationship in the industry,” she says. “I’m just having fun.” “Obviously I have a very busy schedule, and relationships [aren’t] a priority.” We wonder where Kate is going to meet all these men that are taken….cause something tell us that there are plenty of single guys nearby who’d gladly take her off of their hands. Photo Credit: ELLE Magazine

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In Busty White Folks News: Model Chick Kate Upton Says Married Or Engaged Men Are The Only Ones Thirsting After Her Goodies

People Aint Isht: Parents Arrested After Three-Week-Old Daughter Dies From Heat Exhaustion During Road Trip In Van With No Air Condition And One Working Window

These parents need their azzes whooped. Parents Arrested After Daughter Dies Of Heat Exhaustion According to Mail Online The parents of a 23-day-old baby girl have been arrested after she allegedly died from heat exhaustion when they took her on a grueling 1,100-mile road trip in a van that had no air conditioning and only one working window. Christopher and Angela Randolph, age 28 and 26, embarked on a 15-hour drive from Columbus, Ohio, to the tiny town of Ringling Oklahoma, to visit family on Tuesday, police said. They stopped at a gas station in Ardmore, 20 miles from their destination, when they noticed little Hanna, born less than a month ago, had stopped breathing. Temperatures in Oklahoma on Tuesday reached 100 degrees with 30percent humidity by 2pm, when the couple noticed their daughter was dead. She was rushed to the hospital, but pronounced dead. Police believe she died from complications from heat exposure, though a full autopsy is pending, according to KOTV. The couple’s 15-month-old baby who was also in the van was taken into protect custody. The parents, Christopher and Angela, were arrested and charged with child neglect causing death. Police in Ardmore say they have learned the two other children the Randolphs had were removed from their custody by the state of Ohio in 2010. The pair were arrested on Wednesday afternoon by police in Ardmore. Newborn infants have minimal ability to regulate their own body temperature and have fewer working sweat glands than children who are even a few months old. Police suspect the child over-headed in the scorching car because of minimal air flow. Why would you take a baby on a road trip in a van with no AC and one working window?

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People Aint Isht: Parents Arrested After Three-Week-Old Daughter Dies From Heat Exhaustion During Road Trip In Van With No Air Condition And One Working Window

Poor Baby: Khloe Kardashian Has Been “Crying Hysterically” Since Finding Out About Lamar’s Dirty Doggin’ Ways

Khloe is this close to popping a vein. Khloe Kardashian Crying Her Eyes Out Over Lamar’s Cheating We would be crying too if mistress after mistress told the world how they busted it wide open for our husband. Lamar is the new Tiger Woods. According to Radar Online It’s been very rough for Khloe Kardashian in the wake of yet another woman claiming an affair with the reality star’s basketball star hubby, Lamar Odom. Khloe has been “crying hysterically,” and has been on the phone with momager, Kris Jenner, who has been trying to calm her down, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting. Khloe called “Kris very, very early on Wednesday morning after reading about Lamar’s latest mistress coming forward,” a family insider told Radar. “She has been crying hysterically. Kris has been trying to calm her down, but Khloe seems to know in her heart that Lamar has been indeed cheating on her. Lamar is Khloe’s entire world, and she can’t understand why he would cheat on her. It’s really, really sad, because she loves him so much.” Just three weeks after Star magazine revealed that Lamar had a yearlong affair with 29-year-old Jennifer Robinson, another bombshell has dropped: She wasn’t the only one! Gorgeous brunette lawyer Polina Polonsky told the magazine that she had an alleged six-week affair with Lamar, 33, earlier this summer. When other women in the past have claimed to have hooked up with Lamar, “Khloe didn’t take it seriously. She is completely rattled that Jennifer took and passed a lie detector test,” the source told Radar. “Lamar hasn’t been denying the affair as strongly as he did with others in the past. Khloe is literally feeling sick to her stomach. It’s just gut wrenching to watch her go through this.” It gets better Khloe. Keep ya head up.

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Poor Baby: Khloe Kardashian Has Been “Crying Hysterically” Since Finding Out About Lamar’s Dirty Doggin’ Ways

Momma Take The Wheel: Woman Calls Police On Her Son After He Allegedly Confesses To Murking His Girlfriend

Bet he didn’t see this coming… Mother Calls Police On Her Son After He Admits To Murdering Girlfriend A 20-year-old Florida man is set to face murder charges after he allegedly admitted to his mother that he killed his girlfriend, which prompted her to call the police on him. via WESH Orlando A man is in the Orange County Jail facing second-degree murder charges for allegedly killing his girlfriend and dumping the body, police say. Officials with the DeLand Police Department said the victim, Alyssa Oakes, 19, had moved into the Hunters Creek Apartments on Spring Garden Avenue with her boyfriend, Khambrel Hadley, a few weeks ago. Investigators said Hadley told his mother Friday that he had killed Oakes and disposed of her body. DeLand police then went to the couple’s apartment and said they found what appeared to be a homicide scene. Oakes’ body was found Saturday Hadley is being held in the Orange County Jail on charges of second-degree murder and resisting arrest without violence. He’s also charged with stealing a car from the Hunters Creek Apartments. This was probably the hardest thing this mother has ever had to do. Ladies, could you turn your son in if he confessed to murdering someone? Photo Credit: Facebook/WESH Continue reading

Drugs Are Bad M’Kay: Lindsay Lohan’s Beyotchazzness Drove Chaka Khan Home Early From Rehab

SMH. How you gonna disrespect the legend that is Chaka “I’m Every Woman” Khan ? Via RadarOnline reports : When Lindsay Lohan moved from the Betty Ford Center to Cliffside Malibu she joined another famous face, legendary singer Chaka Khan — who RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned left the treatment center early because she couldn’t stand Lilo’s diva behavior! According to a source who attended rehab with Lindsay, 27, the Mean Girls actress arrived to Cliffside just after Chaka and was immediately disruptive to everybody in the program and when Chaka tried to set her on the straight and narrow, the conversation ended in a complete blowout. “Chaka was really cool about everything at Cliffside, but Lindsay just pushed all of her buttons to the point where she was aggravated and tired of Lindsay’s sh*t,” the former patient told Radar in an exclusive interview. “Lindsay was just doing stupid stuff for attention, so Chaka told her she was childish and told her to grow up. She never lost it, but started yelling at Lindsay. Told her to knock it off, asking her if she came to rehab to get well, or just to piss around.” Things got so heated between the two that the source tells Radar 60-year-old Chaka eventually had it with Lindsay, telling several of the patients she “hated” Lindsay. “Chaka was so annoyed with Lindsay. It got so bad that she refused to get in the same car with her or go to the same meetings with Lindsay,: the source said. “So Cliffside had to change everything up schedule wise so the two were never together.” Chaka — who has admittedly struggled with drug abuse and alcoholism in the past, spending several stints in rehab centers — left Cliffside a week early because she couldn’t stand Lindsay, the source claims. “Chaka told me she was leaving early because she couldn’t stand Lindsay,” the source told Radar. “Lindsay caused such an uproar that administration basically said to the patients, ‘If you can’t take it and you want to leave, leave.’ The next day a guy that had already left because of Lindsay came back and helped Chaka with her bags and stuff and took her from Cliffside.” Siding with Chaka, the source said they feel bad Lindsay drove so many away from the treatment center. “Chaka’s a strong woman and her time at Cliffside did help her get a lot better. She’s a positive lady and quite interesting, in a good way,” the source told Radar. “She just needed the strength and at the end of the day she got what she was looking for.” Calls to Chaka’s rep for comment went unreturned. There will be some serious hell for Blohan if anything bad happens to Chaka Khan. Serious. Itchbay better watch her back. WENN Continue reading

From One White Man To Another: Actor Mark Wahlberg Gives Justin Bieber Advice, “Stop Smoking The Sticky Icky”

Justin, Mark could teach you a thing or two. Mark Wahlberg Offers Justin Bieber Advice Mark has been through it all. If Bieber gets his isht together, he can be like Mark in 10 years. According to US Magazine Listen up, Justin Bieber! Mark Wahlberg has been there, done that — and more — and he has some free advice for you. In a live webchat with U.K. newspaper The Sun, the Pain & Gain star jokingly offered up a few nuggets of his own hard-won wisdom for the 19-year-old singer, who’s had a recent spate of bad press. “Justin, are you listening? Don’t be so naughty, yeah?” Wahlberg quipped in a faux British accent. “Be a nice boy, pull your trousers up, make your mum proud, yeah? Stop smoking all that sticky icky, you little bastard.” Then, taking a more serious tone, the father of four added: “He’s a kid. Let him live his life. I would hope that he would look at it like I wish I looked at it and think, ‘You know what, now is the time to be focused and to be disciplined and to be the best that I can be in this career.’” Wahlberg, 42, speaks from experience, having struggled with substance abuse and criminal charges when he was a teen. Bieber’s offenses, by comparison, don’t look so bad to the actor. “He’s a teenager living in a different day and age…I was in prison before I got a record out, and I don’t think he’s been to prison, and I don’t think he wants to go,” Wahlberg told The Sun. “He’s a nice enough kid.” That said, fame can be a slippery slope, the former rapper warned. “You’re going to be a teenager, but if you’re being a teenager in the spotlight, then you’re going to be criticized for it,” he explained, citing Bieber’s young, female fanbase. “This career can be short-lived — you might as well be the best you can while you’re doing it.” Wahlberg — who has been in talks to do a movie with Bieber — doled out some similar advice to the star during an interview with Vulture in April. “I think it’s best to put down the phone and Twitter and all that stuff, and just be a little more low-key right now,” he said. “Because they’re watching every move he makes, everything he says, and less is more. Go take a vacation.” Do you think the Biebster will listen?

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From One White Man To Another: Actor Mark Wahlberg Gives Justin Bieber Advice, “Stop Smoking The Sticky Icky”

SMH: Man Who Had Forced Sex With Homeless Woman Discovered Hours Later Lounging By Stranger’s Pool Reading A Newspaper

How do you have forced sex then go read a newspaper? Man Has Forced Sex With Woman Then Reads Newspaper According to Mail Online A Massachusetts man wanted for allegedly kidnapping and having forced sex with a homeless woman in the woods has been caught after he was discovered sitting naked by a stranger’s pool. Anthony Vega, 49, of Pembroke, was arrested and charged in connection to the Saturday sex assault after he ended up in Phyllis Darling’s backyard. Darling said she spotted Vega sitting on a chair by the pool on her property and reading a newspaper, wearing nothing by a towel. The alarmed homeowner called police to remove the intruder. Vega was taken to Brockton Hospital for a check-up, where it was revealed that Vega is a suspect in forced sex. The victim, a 34-year-old homeless woman from Boston, told police that Vega approached her at the Dudley Square MBTA station early Saturday morning and offered her a ride to a motel in Dorchester, the Boston Herald reported. Instead, however, police said Vega drove for three or four hours, taking rural roads that the women did not recognize. The 34-year-old attempted to escape and even take control of the steering wheel, but Vega reassured her that he did not intend to hurt her and just wanted to ‘make love,’ according to police. Vega allegedly brought the unnamed woman to a wooded area near Hanson, where he held her down and raped her. The 34-year-old woman punched her alleged attacker in the face and eventually was able to flee, but not before writing down his name and license plate number on her hand. After making her way through the woods to a road, the woman stopped a passing motorist, who agreed to drive her to Hanover, according to the Boston Globe. She then contacted police to report the forced sex and picked out the 49-year-old Vega from two photographic line-ups. The woman also identified his car, which was found abandoned in Hanson. At least she has her life…good thing she got his information. Shutterstock

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SMH: Man Who Had Forced Sex With Homeless Woman Discovered Hours Later Lounging By Stranger’s Pool Reading A Newspaper