We've never met Joe Wadlington. But we'd like to buy Joe Wadlington a beer. Because when this Internet user discovered this month that he was on a date with a former manager at the Olive Garden in Times Square, Joe could not focus on any other piece of information. He spent the next 90 minutes grilling this suitor on the inner workings of this shocking popular Italian restaurant chain. And now we're here to bring you Joe's exclusive findings… 1. Hold Everything! Sorry, but this will now be all we talk about on this date. 2. Buckle Up, Folks This is going to a bump, revealing ride. 3. Think You Job is Rough? Imagine working at Olive Garden… when the breadsticks actually run out! 4. Fine! Go Back to Ohio! Don’t let our amazing tourist attractions hit you on the way out! 5. Who Goes to the Olive Garden in Times Square?!? Oh, okay. That makes some sense. 6. That’s A LOT for a Plate of Spaghetti Like, so much it should be illegal. View Slideshow
I’ve never understood why people do “fashion photoshoots” — I mean, isn’t the point of a photoshoot so we can drool over the model, not the clothes? Anyway, here’s the lastest shoot from Italian hottie Bianca Balti and you know, I think I might finally be starting to get the appeal. I mean, obviously I’d still prefer to see Bianca model a hand-bra than a sweater, but it’s hard to argue with pictures like this … Continue reading →
Jenelle Evans is many things. She's a mother. She's a daughter. She's almost someone's wife. She's a habitual offender . While Jenelle has many roles in this life, being an actress is not one of them. But somehow, someway, she was still cast in a commercial for a product called Laboraide. And it is seriously the dumbest thing you'll ever see in your whole entire life. OK, so Laboraide is this natural, drug-free device for pregnant women to wear while they're in labor. It's supposed to allow them to be able to push more effectively and to avoid surgical interventions. It's essentially a glorified mouth guard. But we're not here to talk about the product — though why someone thinks a woman would want to bother with this nonsense while she's in the middle of labor is unexplainable — we're here to talk about Jenelle. Specifically, we're here to talk about Jenelle, her creepy boyfriend, David Eason , and their ridiculously cheesy acting. At the beginning of the commercial, we see David wheel Jenelle into the hospital. You'd think she'd be in pain, or at least a little anxious, but no. Not Jenelle. She is calm and serene, ready to shove a hunk of plastic in her mouth and push that baby out. When she gets to her hospital bed, she hops in, then puts that fancy mouth guard right in her gob. She's ready now! Right in the middle of labor, she's so in control of it all that she's able to take a moment from her steady breathing to share a sweet smile with her third baby daddy. And then, when that baby is finally born, she's able to sit back and relax, not a drop of sweat or blood or any other bodily fluid in sight, and just cuddle that child. Did we mention that she's rocking giant pearl earrings all throughout her delivery? Because she is. None of it makes sense, and Jenelle is a horrible actress, especially for pretending to do something she's done three times now in real life. But that's the magic of it. See Jenelle's acting chops in what could very possibly be the worst commercial of all time:
Jenelle Evans is many things. She's a mother. She's a daughter. She's almost someone's wife. She's a habitual offender . While Jenelle has many roles in this life, being an actress is not one of them. But somehow, someway, she was still cast in a commercial for a product called Laboraide. And it is seriously the dumbest thing you'll ever see in your whole entire life. OK, so Laboraide is this natural, drug-free device for pregnant women to wear while they're in labor. It's supposed to allow them to be able to push more effectively and to avoid surgical interventions. It's essentially a glorified mouth guard. But we're not here to talk about the product — though why someone thinks a woman would want to bother with this nonsense while she's in the middle of labor is unexplainable — we're here to talk about Jenelle. Specifically, we're here to talk about Jenelle, her creepy boyfriend, David Eason , and their ridiculously cheesy acting. At the beginning of the commercial, we see David wheel Jenelle into the hospital. You'd think she'd be in pain, or at least a little anxious, but no. Not Jenelle. She is calm and serene, ready to shove a hunk of plastic in her mouth and push that baby out. When she gets to her hospital bed, she hops in, then puts that fancy mouth guard right in her gob. She's ready now! Right in the middle of labor, she's so in control of it all that she's able to take a moment from her steady breathing to share a sweet smile with her third baby daddy. And then, when that baby is finally born, she's able to sit back and relax, not a drop of sweat or blood or any other bodily fluid in sight, and just cuddle that child. Did we mention that she's rocking giant pearl earrings all throughout her delivery? Because she is. None of it makes sense, and Jenelle is a horrible actress, especially for pretending to do something she's done three times now in real life. But that's the magic of it. See Jenelle's acting chops in what could very possibly be the worst commercial of all time:
If you’re a fan of the Duggar clan, by now you’re probably already familiar with the narrative surrounding Jana Duggar. To many viewers, Jana is the “Cinderella Duggar,” forced to remain at home and help care for her parents’ massive brood while her brothers and sisters marry and start families of their own. That characterization might be a little inaccurate (There could be lots of reasons that Jana has chosen not to marry.), but in fairness, Jana doesn’t do much to disabuse fans of the notion that she’s basically a put-upon fairytale character. In an interview with TLC that was recorded several months ago but released this week , Jana offers some insights into what she’s most looking forward to in 2017. “Jessa’s going to be having her little one, so I’ll be at that birth and looking forward to that,” she tells the network. It may seem harmless that Jana’s most anticipated event of the year is Jessa welcoming her second child , but apparently, the remark struck a nerve for some viewers. “So sad. At this age their lives should be full of excitement and promise. The only important things going on for them are projects and Jessa’s new baby,” one fan commented on the Duggars’ official Facebook page. “She has nothing else to do but wait around for another sister to give birth. Jana your killing me. Your young your beautiful, grab some life and live it girl,” wrote another. Look, if Jana wants to leave the house and start her own family and is being prevented from doing so, that’s legitimately very sad. But this might be a case of fans reading a bit too much into an off-hand comment. It’s worth pointing out that Jana’s twin, John David Duggar, is also single , but is not subjected to the same pressures and scrutiny as Jana. Usually, the most common critiques of the Duggars (or at least the ones that don’t their efforts to cover up the Josh Duggar sex scandals ) involve the family’s backwards notions about women and their place in the world. In the case of Jana, however, it’s often the fans who play the old fashioned role and bemoan her lack of a husband and children. See what you did, people? You’ve made us defend the Duggars! We’ll never forgive you for this. View Slideshow: Jana Duggar Photos: Beautiful, Maligned “Cinderella” Duggar Through the Years
If you’re a fan of the Duggar clan, by now you’re probably already familiar with the narrative surrounding Jana Duggar. To many viewers, Jana is the “Cinderella Duggar,” forced to remain at home and help care for her parents’ massive brood while her brothers and sisters marry and start families of their own. That characterization might be a little inaccurate (There could be lots of reasons that Jana has chosen not to marry.), but in fairness, Jana doesn’t do much to disabuse fans of the notion that she’s basically a put-upon fairytale character. In an interview with TLC that was recorded several months ago but released this week , Jana offers some insights into what she’s most looking forward to in 2017. “Jessa’s going to be having her little one, so I’ll be at that birth and looking forward to that,” she tells the network. It may seem harmless that Jana’s most anticipated event of the year is Jessa welcoming her second child , but apparently, the remark struck a nerve for some viewers. “So sad. At this age their lives should be full of excitement and promise. The only important things going on for them are projects and Jessa’s new baby,” one fan commented on the Duggars’ official Facebook page. “She has nothing else to do but wait around for another sister to give birth. Jana your killing me. Your young your beautiful, grab some life and live it girl,” wrote another. Look, if Jana wants to leave the house and start her own family and is being prevented from doing so, that’s legitimately very sad. But this might be a case of fans reading a bit too much into an off-hand comment. It’s worth pointing out that Jana’s twin, John David Duggar, is also single , but is not subjected to the same pressures and scrutiny as Jana. Usually, the most common critiques of the Duggars (or at least the ones that don’t their efforts to cover up the Josh Duggar sex scandals ) involve the family’s backwards notions about women and their place in the world. In the case of Jana, however, it’s often the fans who play the old fashioned role and bemoan her lack of a husband and children. See what you did, people? You’ve made us defend the Duggars! We’ll never forgive you for this. View Slideshow: Jana Duggar Photos: Beautiful, Maligned “Cinderella” Duggar Through the Years
Amber Portwood and Matt Baier have never been our favorite Teen Mom couple. After all, with reports that Matt tried to holler at both Farrah Abraham and Jenelle Evans before finally succeeding with Amber, and with that whole thing about him being a deadbeat dad of a still unproven amount of children … Like, why would we ever be into him? But despite the protests of Teen Mom fans everywhere, Amber is still with Matt, and they’re planning on getting married this October . Or at least, that was the plan before all the abuse allegations hit the fan. Earlier this week, some questionable photos of Matt Baier surfaced — photos that showed some pretty nasty injuries that seemed to be from a fight. In one photo, Matt has some bloody cuts on his face, and in another, he has a black eye. Not only that, but the photos were actually screenshots of texts — along with the pictures, Matt wrote messages like “Look what she just did” and “Remember this is the woman who did this!” So the easy assumption would be that these are photos from Matt claiming that Amber abused him, right? After all, Amber has a history of domestic violence , and we saw her viciously attack Gary Shirley more than once. She’s come a long, long way since then, but still, fans have noted that the background in one of Matt’s photos matches a room in Amber’s house, and the glasses he’s wearing are his current ones. As much as we don’t want to believe that Amber, much less 2017 Amber, could do something like this, could it actually be true? According to a statement Matt gave People, absolutely not. “The rumor that’s circulating is both vicious and completely false,” the statement begins. “I can’t stand by and allow the media or anyone else to undermine the progress that Amber has made in turning her life around, or the relationship we’ve worked hard to build together.” “The photo that surfaced is nothing more than the result of some roughhousing amongst my guy friends,” he explains. “I got my butt kicked by a friend, and it was well-deserved, I might add.” “Now someone’s trying to use the pic to paint an untrue picture of our life together.” “Amber would never lay a hand on me,” Matt concludes, “and I can’t wait to marry the love of my life in October.” So there you have it. The photos have nothing to do with Amber, their relationship is lovely and beautiful and all good things, and we’re all dumb for believing otherwise. However, let’s also remember that at one point in this new season of Teen Mom OG, Amber breaks down while trying on wedding dresses , telling a friend “You can love each other and want to be with each other for the rest of your life and still not trust each other.” So hey, even if the abuse rumors aren’t true, maybe still don’t get married? Just a thought.
Amber Portwood and Matt Baier have never been our favorite Teen Mom couple. After all, with reports that Matt tried to holler at both Farrah Abraham and Jenelle Evans before finally succeeding with Amber, and with that whole thing about him being a deadbeat dad of a still unproven amount of children … Like, why would we ever be into him? But despite the protests of Teen Mom fans everywhere, Amber is still with Matt, and they’re planning on getting married this October . Or at least, that was the plan before all the abuse allegations hit the fan. Earlier this week, some questionable photos of Matt Baier surfaced — photos that showed some pretty nasty injuries that seemed to be from a fight. In one photo, Matt has some bloody cuts on his face, and in another, he has a black eye. Not only that, but the photos were actually screenshots of texts — along with the pictures, Matt wrote messages like “Look what she just did” and “Remember this is the woman who did this!” So the easy assumption would be that these are photos from Matt claiming that Amber abused him, right? After all, Amber has a history of domestic violence , and we saw her viciously attack Gary Shirley more than once. She’s come a long, long way since then, but still, fans have noted that the background in one of Matt’s photos matches a room in Amber’s house, and the glasses he’s wearing are his current ones. As much as we don’t want to believe that Amber, much less 2017 Amber, could do something like this, could it actually be true? According to a statement Matt gave People, absolutely not. “The rumor that’s circulating is both vicious and completely false,” the statement begins. “I can’t stand by and allow the media or anyone else to undermine the progress that Amber has made in turning her life around, or the relationship we’ve worked hard to build together.” “The photo that surfaced is nothing more than the result of some roughhousing amongst my guy friends,” he explains. “I got my butt kicked by a friend, and it was well-deserved, I might add.” “Now someone’s trying to use the pic to paint an untrue picture of our life together.” “Amber would never lay a hand on me,” Matt concludes, “and I can’t wait to marry the love of my life in October.” So there you have it. The photos have nothing to do with Amber, their relationship is lovely and beautiful and all good things, and we’re all dumb for believing otherwise. However, let’s also remember that at one point in this new season of Teen Mom OG, Amber breaks down while trying on wedding dresses , telling a friend “You can love each other and want to be with each other for the rest of your life and still not trust each other.” So hey, even if the abuse rumors aren’t true, maybe still don’t get married? Just a thought.
It’s a strange time to be an American. We continue to provide the world with a number of crucial exports, such as Springsteen songs and Seinfeld reruns, but we’re in danger of losing our most cherished delusion and being forced to confront the reality that we don’t actually hold a position of respect and authority in the global community. Part of the problem is that we went from a president who hangs with Beyonce and Kendrick Lamar to this guy: Yes, that’s Donald Trump chillin’ with the biggest celebrities who will admit to voting for him. (Sorry, Scott Baio.) The good news is that the phenomenon of aging, Trump-voting rockers in dumb hats seems to be mostly limited to the Detroit area. The bad news is literally everything else about this photo. Gaining the approval of celebrities might be the only thing more important to Donald Trump than convincing the world that his penis is actually quite adequate in size , so the fact that the best he can do in terms of famous friends is Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, and Sarah Palin means there’s probably a MOAB headed for Hollywood at this very moment. Fortunately for Donnie, he was able to find playmates who share his obsession with his former rival: Nugent uploaded the above photos to his Facebook page, along with captions such as this bonafide gem (*kisses finger tips like an Italian chef*): “So today is the 242nd anniversary of The Shot Heard Round The World is it! Well well well looky looky here boogie chillin’, I got your Shot Heard Round The World right here in big ol greazyass Washington DC where your 1 & only MotorCity Madman WhackMaster StrapAssasin1 dined with President Donald J Trump at the WhiteHouse to Make America Great Again!” He later added that the group dined on “incredible lobster salad & lampchops! UltraYUM!” For our readers who aren’t fluent in Ted Talk, we think Nugent is trying to say that he got separated from his tour group and ate part of a lamp. For some reason, he’s very excited about the whole thing. We kid, of course. Donnie is just enjoying having some friends over to his new place while his wife remains semi-permanently out of town , and we don’t blame him. It gets lonely in the Oval Office. Steve Bannon never wants to watch old DVDs of The Apprentice , and Jared Kushner always messes up the chorus of “Bawitdaba.” View Slideshow: Donald Trump: Roasted For White House Easter Egg Roll on Twitter!
It’s a strange time to be an American. We continue to provide the world with a number of crucial exports, such as Springsteen songs and Seinfeld reruns, but we’re in danger of losing our most cherished delusion and being forced to confront the reality that we don’t actually hold a position of respect and authority in the global community. Part of the problem is that we went from a president who hangs with Beyonce and Kendrick Lamar to this guy: Yes, that’s Donald Trump chillin’ with the biggest celebrities who will admit to voting for him. (Sorry, Scott Baio.) The good news is that the phenomenon of aging, Trump-voting rockers in dumb hats seems to be mostly limited to the Detroit area. The bad news is literally everything else about this photo. Gaining the approval of celebrities might be the only thing more important to Donald Trump than convincing the world that his penis is actually quite adequate in size , so the fact that the best he can do in terms of famous friends is Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, and Sarah Palin means there’s probably a MOAB headed for Hollywood at this very moment. Fortunately for Donnie, he was able to find playmates who share his obsession with his former rival: Nugent uploaded the above photos to his Facebook page, along with captions such as this bonafide gem (*kisses finger tips like an Italian chef*): “So today is the 242nd anniversary of The Shot Heard Round The World is it! Well well well looky looky here boogie chillin’, I got your Shot Heard Round The World right here in big ol greazyass Washington DC where your 1 & only MotorCity Madman WhackMaster StrapAssasin1 dined with President Donald J Trump at the WhiteHouse to Make America Great Again!” He later added that the group dined on “incredible lobster salad & lampchops! UltraYUM!” For our readers who aren’t fluent in Ted Talk, we think Nugent is trying to say that he got separated from his tour group and ate part of a lamp. For some reason, he’s very excited about the whole thing. We kid, of course. Donnie is just enjoying having some friends over to his new place while his wife remains semi-permanently out of town , and we don’t blame him. It gets lonely in the Oval Office. Steve Bannon never wants to watch old DVDs of The Apprentice , and Jared Kushner always messes up the chorus of “Bawitdaba.” View Slideshow: Donald Trump: Roasted For White House Easter Egg Roll on Twitter!
