Tag Archives: kate middleton

Kate Middleton Pregnant…And So Is Pippa!

Posted on September 1, 2016 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Two Middleton babies are on the way! One will be royal, the other will be a common plebe. OK! Magazine wins this month’s “Weirdest Tabloid Cover Story,” and it’s only September 1st.   “Princess Kate & Pippa: We’re Both Pregnant!” The headline declares. “One’s having a boy, one’s having a girl! “Kate Will Be 8 Months Along At Pippa’s Wedding.” Pippa only got engaged to financier James Matthew on July 19th, so being an unwed mother is quite the scandal.   “The news is twice as nice for the Middleton family: Sources say that not only is Duchess Kate expecting — her little sister Pippa, is too!” a source allegedly told OK! . “Just a few weeks back, Kate discovered that she’s expecting another little princess, and the buzz in Pippa’s circle is that’s pregnant, too — with a little boy.” The Duchess of Cambridge is mom to two children already – Prince George, 3, and Princess Charlotte, who turned 1 on May 4th. And while Catherine and William are said to want a big family, there has been no official word from the palace on whether she is expecting.   In other words, she’s not. 32-year-old Pippa is, of course, aware of the stigma attached to her situation.   The source helpfully pointed out that she’ll “now have to endure whispers about whether hers is a shotgun wedding,” which would mortify her mother, Carole. I’m making that up.  Carole looks to be a very modern broad and probably supports a woman’s right to get knocked up by a multi-millionaire. No matter!  Pipps and Jim are in this to win this, having dated back in 2012, then getting back together this past fall, after she broke up with another fiancier, Nico Jackson. Plus, if all the gossip gets Pippa down, James can whisk her off on his private jet to his family’s hotel in St. Barts. View Slideshow: Pippa Middleton: A History Of The Famous Bridesmaid’s Suitors The source said that the couple is “totally in love, and they were going to get engaged whether she was pregnant or not.” It doesn’t take a super sleuth to figure out that this story is a hot pile of garbage, but it does make for great conversation by the water cool. “Did you hear about the Duchess and her terribly promiscuous sister?” one will ask. “Indeed,” the other will answer. “The unwed one is being brought to court to be publicly flogged.  Must go, my horse and carriage is here.” To drive the point home, the only reliable source when it comes to royal pregnancies (not Middleton pregnancies), is Kensington Palace.   If royal aides confirm it, only then is it true. Anything in the check-out aisle of your grocery store is just a tall tale.   View Slideshow: William and Kate: 16 Times The Tabloids Got It Wrong

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Kate Middleton: Furious Camilla is Finding Prince Harry a Wife?

Posted on March 8, 2016 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

She’s got her hands full with a toddler and an infant, but “finding wife for Harry” must be written down somewhere in her diary. The Duchess of Cambridge is apparently fuming that Prince Harry has enlisted the help of his step-mother, the Duchess of Cornwall in a quest to find true love.   Or a wife.  Whichever comes first. This is according to Celebrity Dirty Laundry , a site that never ceases to entertain when it comes to fabricated royal stories. “Prince Harry has turned to stepmother Camilla Parker-Bowles for advice about finding a wife,” the site claims. “Kate Middleton is livid that Prince Harry is ignoring her advice and has approached her arch rival Camilla for help choosing a Royal bride .” RUDE! “The Duchess of Cambridge loves her brother-in-law and wants to see him happy,” the site helpfully points out. “Sources say she is not going to let Camilla influence Harry’s choice of a Royal bride. An insider says this latest development has ‘sparked a royal war. You can bet Kate will go all-out to find Harry a bride before Camilla does.'” Right, so in January Harry reportedly admitted to wanting to get married. “I’m not dating and for the first time ever I want to find a wife,” the prince was believe to have told TV presenter Denise van Outen at a party. Then it was revealed that he hooked up with American Juliette Labelle over the New Year in Los Angeles.  Now it’s anyone’s guess who Harry is snogging at the moment, and with his upcoming official visit to Nepal, there is no time to fit in a royal wedding by year’s end. Should Harry need a royal bride at the ready, I volunteer. View Slideshow: 16 Times Prince Harry Made Us Royally Swoon

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Kate Middleton: Furious Camilla is Finding Prince Harry a Wife?

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Kate Middleton Pregnant Again! William Overwhelmed, Not Ready!

Posted on February 4, 2016 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Not a day goes by where I don’t hear, “is Kate pregnant again?” The source of said news can usually be found in the supermarket checkout aisle with a splashy headline, and this time is no different. Before we dig into the “goss” about whether or not there actually is a royal fetus, it’s important to note that unless Kensington Palace makes an announcement (as they have in the past, and early on due to Catherine’s morning sickness).   The tabloids can print whatever they want, but if and when it actually happens, it will come directly from the horse’s mouth (or the horse’s press office’s mouth). According to Celebrity Dirty Laundry , Catherine’s up the duff again and Prince William is “overwhelmed and not ready for a third baby yet.” The royal couple are due to visit India and Bhutan this spring, and will be heavily involved in the celebrations of Her Majesty’s 90th birthday.   Royal expert Victoria Arbiter told me a few years back that royals plan their calendar (heir-making included) meticulously, so a pregnancy could possibly keep Catherine from traveling abroad “Unconfirmed sources divulge that Prince William would have preferred to wait a few more years before adding to the Cambridge family,” CDL goes on. “Whoever the source is for this latest third Royal baby speculation revealed that the Duke of Cambridge wasn’t prepared for the Duchess of Cambridge to be expecting again so soon after Princess Charlotte’s birth.” tl:dr – Catherine’s probably not pregnant.  This story is crap. View Slideshow: Royal Baby Photos: Hail to the Princess!

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Camilla Makes The Queen Try Botox, Gets "Banished" From The Palace!

Posted on January 25, 2016 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

I can’t.  I literally CANNOT. A few of you know that I dabble in royal studies , so I’d like to think I’m a credible source when it comes to separating fact from fiction. The stories on Celebrity Dirty Laundry never disappointment it when it comes to outrageous rumors, to the point where I think, “Wow.  You guys should write for The Royals .” Today I came across a story that involved the Queen, the Duchess of Cornwall and Botox.  What a trio! According to CDL , Camilla is such a fan of Botox that she convinced Her Majesty, who will turn 90 in April, to give it a go . This is a sovereign who, if feeling ill, will pop two Tylenol and take a brisk walk in the Scottish Highlands instead of a nap.  Volunteering for a Botox injection doesn’t sound like something the Queen would be keen on. It’s alleged that both Camilla and the Duchess of Cambridge pop round to Dr. Feel Good every now and then to smooth out their wrinkles. A source claims that “Duchess Camilla believed that passing along this information to Queen Elizabeth would be a great way to claw her way back into Queen Elizabeth’s good graces.” It appears that Camilla informed the Queen that Botox had “virtually no side effects,” so Her Majesty “ordered the Royal dermatologist” to the palace, who administered a needle here and there over a six-month period. Well, thanks to Camilla’s helpful advice, Her Majesty can “barely move her jaw to speak. Now, it’s also difficult for [Queen Elizabeth] to chew food. And smiling is out of the question.” Camilla’s punishment?  “Banished from Buckingham Palace.” Catherine is reportedly furious at Camilla for causing her granny-in-law pain, but is also psyched because it puts her ahead of Camilla in the non-existent popularity contest. While I have no idea if Camilla and Catherine get Botox injections, I can’t imagine that the Queen would be convinced to give it a go.   Her Majesty is not a vain woman, and never has been.  She does her own hair and makeup, was brought up in an era of austerity, and gets countless wears out of her outfits. Both Camilla and Catherine do get facials from Heaven Skincare founder, Deborah Mitchell, creator of the famous “bee venom mask” that works as a natural face-lift by tightening and cleaning the skin. Mitchell has called Camilla the “kindest, kindest person.” Beyond that, it’s anyone’s guess how both royal women treat their face.   View Slideshow: 12 Photos Of Kate Middleton Looking Regal as He*k

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Kate Middleton: 15 Photos of Iconic Hair Porn

Posted on December 12, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Elizabeth Taylor's diamonds, Jayne Mansfield's cleavage…there are some things in this world that prevent us from looking away, however impolite that may be. The Duchess of Cambridge has perfected the art of a blowout, balancing shine with volume to create what my friend calls “hair that won't quit.” Allow yourself to get lost in a gallery of one of Great Britain's national treasures. 1. “You Haven’t Said a Thing About My Hair” “I don’t even know why I’m here. I just wanted to wear this up do.” 2. “Nature Is My Own Personal Wind Machine” “Disney requested this photo as a sketch for their next princess. I said ‘fine.'” 3. “May I Introduce…My Hair” “We are very happy to spend the rest of our lives with William.” 4. “Happy Wedding Day To Me and My Hair!” “You lot won’t believe the glory hiding beneath this veil.” 5. “Easy With The Flash Bulbs, Boys” “The light will damage my hair, which is grounds for treason.” 6. “Oh, Stop” “Just kidding, keep talking about my hair.” View Slideshow

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Kate Middleton: Depressed! Anxious! Fighting With The Queen!

Posted on November 20, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Everything is the worst and Catherine is displeased. On November 18th, the Duchess of Cambridge made an emotional speech at the Place2Be Headteacher Conference about the importance of mental well-being in young people.   Her Royal Highness touched on the love and support she received from her own parents and how that positively impacted her life (that would be the understatement of the century). “I know that I was lucky,” Catherine told the audience.  “My parents and teachers provided me with a wonderful and secure childhood where I always knew I was loved, valued and listened to. “But of course many children are not so lucky. Since beginning my work in areas like addiction, for example, I have seen time and time again that the roots of poor mental health in adulthood are almost always present in unresolved childhood challenges.” Catherine is a patron of Place2Be , an organization that provides emotional and therapeutic services for young people. Some media outlets thought this the perfect opportunity to label Catherine a basket case, claiming that the speech was a “cry for help” as she continues to battle depression, anxiety and an eating disorder.   And it’s all the royal family’s fault. “Prince William is desperate for Duchess Kate to ‘snap out of it,’ but the bouts of depression and anxiety appear to be increasing in frequency and severity,” Celebrity Dirty Laundry claims.   “The Duke of Cambridge also fears the Duchess of Cambridge is battling anorexia.” Mmmk. Kate Middleton: Hacked! A LOT! “Kate’s constant fighting with Camilla Parker-Bowles hasn’t helped the situation. Prince Harry reportedly came to Kate Middleton’s rescue recently telling Parker-Bowles to back off and stop tormenting the Duchess. “This did not endear Prince Harry to Camilla Parker-Bowles and the two are now reportedly feuding.” So much feuding!  How does one get anything done with all this feuding?! “Queen Elizabeth had given Carole Middleton a bit more access to Princess Kate which seemed to put both mother and daughter in better spirits. After finding out the manipulative Middleton matriarch was trying to freeze the Royal family out of Princess Charlotte’s first Christmas that was the end of that.” Manipulative Middleton matriarch.  That’s what I’ll be next Halloween. “Queen Elizabeth reportedly is enforcing even tougher restrictions on how much contact Carole can have with Princess Kate, Prince George and Princess Charlotte.” This is so dumb.  The Windsors are made out to sound like as dysfunctional as that terrible E! show . BTW, the Queen and her husband,  Prince Philip celebrated their 68th anniversary today.  Congrats, you love birds. And when you’re done wondering if Catherine is weeping in an ivory tower right this very second, please take a moment to soak in the sartorial splendor of todays look in Wales.   Catherine wore Reiss’ “Angel” coat for a visit to Caernarfon with her Kiki McDonough Eternal 18k Gold Citrine Pear-Drop Earrings ($740).  She and William used to live in Anglesey, Wales when they were first married, so today’s trip was especially significant. The Reiss coat was first seen on Catherine on Christmas day 2011 (thanks What Kate Wore for that reminder!), then again in 2012 during a trip St. George’s Park (she was in her first trimester with George at that time). View Slideshow: 17 Photos Of Kate Middleton Looking Smug as Heck

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Kate Middleton is Anorexic, Tabloid Outrageously Alleges

Posted on November 6, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

As an ardent supporter of Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge , it pains me to read articles like the one published in a recent issue of the  National Enquirer . Gossip Cop has helpfully debunked a report that the former Kate Middleton has an eating disorder , and is “consulting a leading British medical expert who is treating her for the early stages of anorexia.” Catherine has been the target of stories like this since she married Prince William in April 2011.   Certain media outlets prey on her thin frame, using any and all opportunity to shout, “She’s not eating!” or “She’s down to 98 pounds and has resorted to eating mulch from the palace gardens!” It gets worse. “Instead of a body to die for, she ended up with a condition that can be fatal,” a palace insider claims, pointing out that Catherine works tirelessly to become the “Perfect Princess” through strict dieting and exercise. “The sad fact is Kate overdid things,” said insider said with a (no doubt) heavy heart. Yes, the Duchess of Cambridge is thin, but no one knows what goes on behind palace walls, and it’s very easy (and very uncool) to speculate about eating disorders. If you must know, Catherine is very athletic; she plays tennis at the Harbour Club in London, runs, skiis and reportedly enjoys a spot of yoga.   In November 2011, Catherine refused to try some peanut paste during a visit to UNICEF center in Denmark, which sent newspapers into a tizzy.  An insider explained that the newlywed was “not comfortable eating in front of the cameras. “What if she didn’t like it and made a face? That expression would then be on every newspaper.”  This is actually believable, even if the source had no connection to Catherine whatsoever.  Seeing as the poor girl’s life went from semi-private to 100% public after she said “I do,” I don’t blame her.

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Kate Middleton: Pregnant With Twins, Tabloid Claims

Posted on October 30, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Not surprisingly, a new round of speculation about whether or not Kate Middleton is pregnant goes began pretty much the moment the Duchess gave birth to Princess Charlotte.  So we doubt anyone was terribly shocked to see this cover story in OK! magazine: For some reason, tabloids are obsessed with the idea of Kate Middleton giving birth to twins . In fairness, if the reactions to Prince George and Princess Charlotte are any indication, the entire UK would explode from excitement if Kate ever brought a matching set of royals into the world, so it’s not hard to see why the BS press is so enamored with the idea. Anyway, OK! can’t quite make up its mind on this one, as the cover claims Kate is giving birth to a boy and a girl , while the article inside says that the couple “doesn’t plan to find out what they’re having in advance, instead they want to be surprised at the birth.” (We read this nonsense so you don’t have to!) The tabloid even claims that upon hearing the news, William excitedly exclaimed, “My mother would be so thrilled!”  View Slideshow: Princess Charlotte and Prince George Photos Yup. They even went for the Princess Di emotional gut-punch. And you thought the British media was bad! Are we saying with absolute, 100 percent certainty that Kate is not pregnant with twins? No, but if she is, it’s a total freak coincidence. Maybe OK! is planning to report that Kate is pregnant with twins every week between now and when she reaches menopause, just so if it ever happens, they can say they broke the story.

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Kim Kardashian: Snubbed By Kate Middleton Again and Again! DONE with The Duchess!

Posted on October 21, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Kate Middleton and the British Royal Family just keep on snubbing Kimye, and Kim Kardashian finally got the message, a new report claims. Ever since Kate became an international style icon, but especially since North West and Prince George were born in 2013, Kim has been OB-SESSED . Kardashian, 35, has absolutely idolized the 33-year-old Duchess and has tried desperately to meet her on multiple occasions, only to be rebuffed. If you can call the [crickets] treatment that. Tabloid reports allege that Kim has reached out to Kate personally, but has yet to receive the time of day, and her requests began to get a tad weird. Kanye West even sent Princess Charlotte a custom outfit form his new clothing line, but the questionable clothing gift was promptly returned. When Kim learned that FLOTUS Michelle Obama was meeting the Duchess, she lobbied for Michelle to put in a good word for her. Obama declined. An insider dished that at one point, Kate even canceled one of her events at the last minute because she heard that Kim would be in attendance. Boy is she pissed at Kate Middleton now. After two-plus years, Kim has finally taken the hint , and she is royally (boo) fed up. An insider dished to Star Magazine, “She is devastated.” “After years of trying to worm her way in to Kate’s life, it was one rejection too many. She and Kanye can’t believe anyone would treat them this way.” That’s what you call a reality check. As for reports that the Duchess is pregnant with baby #3 , that can’t be confirmed or denied, but OMG, Kim is probably psyched they’re preggo together again! Totes exciting!

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Kate Middleton to Prince Harry: You WILL Marry Chelsy Davy!

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Prince Harry’s Bachelor days are over … according to Kate Middleton, who’s screened all of his potential wives and deemed this one the best: Prince William’s little brother is reportedly dating his ex Chelsy Davy, with whom he reconnected while he was doing charity work in Africa. Inside sources say that William’s wife and Harry’s sister-in-law, Kate, has been serving as his relationship guru – and supports this fully. And by relationship guru, we mean investigator in chief . The Duchess of Cambridge “vetted both Chelsy Davy and Cressida Bonas , until she was convinced that Chelsy was royal bride material.” With Harry harboring feelings for both, “Kate has been secretly vetting the pair for months, to decide who will make his perfect wife.” Her findings? “Chelsy’s the one. He can’t live without her.” Well that’s nice. As is having a full-throated endorsement from Kate, who has stood fall in the face of intense public and private scrutiny. From those Kate Middleton bikini photos of yesteryear to rumors just this week about Carole Middleton drunk at a rugby match, it’s nonstop. Not any commoner has the fortitude or the willingness to be put through the wringer, but a source says Kate feels Chelsy has what it takes. “Kate questioned whether either woman was up to [it].” It being “the rigors of royal life … and although Chelsea has confessed some fears about royal life, Kate managed to calm them all.” View Slideshow: Chelsy Davy: Prince Harry Wife in Training?! Now that Harry and Chelsy Davy have Kate Middleton’s seal of approval, should we expect an engagement announcement anytime? “Get ready for an engagement announcement soon, and then another royal wedding at Westminister Abbey next Spring,” says a source. Yeah, right. We’ll believe that when we see it. Still, by all accounts, Harry and Davy are a thing again, and we would not be surprised if (eventually) she can tame the wild Prince. Sorry, Cressie.

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