While it’s a fantastic idea to unplug from our mobile devices, not many of us tweet it out thinking others will care. Unless your name is Kanye West. In order for him to reach his true artistic potential, West has announced that he’s parting ways with his phone. “I got rid of my phone so I can have air to create,” he tweeted on September 14th. It’s never not a weird time for West to get rid of a phone, and he might not have any particular reason for getting rid of it now, However, perhaps the criticism from his Yeezy Season 4 show prompted West to put the phone down. Permanently. It wasn’t a total wash, though. Without a phone he wouldn’t have been able to antagonize his future wife over her romantic choices. West said that the first time he got a phone was in 2011, when he learned that his longtime crush was marrying Kris Humphries (the couple wed in August, but separated 72 days later). “I got a phone because somebody decided they wanted to marry Kris Humphries,” West joked on an episode of Kocktails with Khloe back in April. “I wasn’t up to anything, and I looked on the internet, and there was Kim Kardashian with some extremely tall person, and I was like, ‘I need to call her or something.’” Oddly enough, this relinquishing of the phone could have proved useful to West during his Twitter rants back in February. “Pitchfork, the album is a 30 out of 10,” West tweeted in response to the outlet rating his album, The Life of Pablo . More! “To Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, New York Times, and any other white publication. Please do not comment on black music anymore.” Aaaaand this. “I love love love white people but you don’t understand what it means to be the great grandson of ex slaves and make it this far.” The latest rant from Kanye? More of a response to Kid Cudi than a rant, but it was highly entertaining to watch. Kanye West BLASTS Kid Cudi: Respect the God! So, now that West is without a phone, will he be using pay phones? Rotary phones? Land lines with cords?! Coming soon: Yeezy Season Five From a Phone Booth. Quarters Required.
Kim Kardashian is on the cover of yet another magazine, but this time she’s not in her usual state of undress. To change things up from her usual “break the internet“-style nudes, the reality star decided to take a chance with a new look we can only describe as “soccer mom chic” for Wonderland […]
Paris is known as The City of Love. As far as Amy Schumer is concerned, however, it’s more like The City of I Really Hate How I Feel at the Moment. That’s because the comedian found herself hospitalized with a bout of food poisoning yesterday. The Trainwreck star jetted off for France last weekend and spent a few days out and about with boyfriend Ben Hanisch , visiting the Palace of Versailles and other tourist attractions. That was a lot of fun. But what happened next was the opposite of fun. On Monday afternoon, Schumer shared the following Instagram video of herself eating soup. It offered followers a nice view of the Eiffel Tower in the background, although Schumer made it clear that she wasn’t really able to enjoy it. “Trying to eat chicken broth post puke fest,” the 35-year old wrote as a caption. A video posted by @amyschumer on Sep 12, 2016 at 10:23am PDT Later that night, things had taken a turn for the worst, as Schumer posted an image of herself and Hanisch lying in bed, writing: “Thanks for everything Paris! Except the food poisoning.” Nearly all of us have probably spent a terrible night in bed or on the bathroom floor as the result of eating something bad… … but Schumer must have eaten something REALLY bad. She ended up in the hospital. Fortunately, because this is Amy Schumer and she’s awesome and amazing and hilarious, she posed for a series of silly pictures on a gurney and shared them through her Instagram account. “No red flags with this girl,” she joked in the collage’s caption. #nooooooooooo.” To pass the time while under doctor’s supervision, Schumer filmed a parody video for a dating website. Why? Because she’s Amy Schumer and she’s awesome and amazing and hilarious. “Hi. OK, this is my first time making one of these videos, but, you know, it’s a new time,” she explained. “My name is Amy. I’m 35. I love just grabbing life by its horns and experiencing everything. I love music and food. I really just want someone to share all of that with. “So, I’m taking a chance.” A video posted by @amyschumer on Sep 12, 2016 at 5:49pm PDT We should all have this much fun while poisoned by food, shouldn’t we? On Tuesday, Schumer assured her fans that she won’t miss any dates on her world tour. “I feel better and will do all my shows next week and will go see the queen Beyoncé!” she wrote. View Slideshow: 16 Reasons Why We Adore Amy Schumer Thank goodness. We’ve got tickets to an upcoming show!
We’re starting to believe that Katy Perry has magical powers. The “Rise” singer managed to deliver her second baby while still recording bitchin’ tunes. According to her September 12th tweet, Perry helped older sister, Angela Hudson (Perry’s real name is Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson) deliver her second child. “Helped deliver my sister’s baby at 2pm & am in the studio by 8pm,” Perry tweeted “GET A GIRL THAT CAN DO BOTH.” For those keeping tracking, Perry assisted with a similar task back in 2014. “Finally you can add ‘helps delivers babies in living rooms’ to my resume! It’s been a miracle of a day…Auntie Katy aka Stylist Auntie,” she tweeted after the successful birth. Perry rarely talks about starting a family, but ever since she and Orlando Bloom started dating, yours truly would throw her support behind a Blerry baby (just look at his son, Flynn, with ex-wife, Miranda Kerr). When she was still married to Russell Brand in 2011, Perry spoke candidly on Ellen about what it would be like to have children. “I would love to have children. I think that’s one of the reasons you get married,” Perry admitted. “Especially to the person that you marry. You think, that person is going to be a good partner, a good parent.” Brand schmand. Make them babies with Bloom! How many is she thinking? “If it doesn’t hurt the first time, I’ll keep popping them out,” she joked. Back in July, a source close to Bloom told E! News that he “plans to get married and have more kids one day,” after it was announced that Kerr was engaged to Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel. In extremely weird and random Orlando Bloom news, the British actor allegedly wants to get Perry and her enemy, Taylor Swift back on speaking terms. “He thinks Katy could only gain from a reconciliation with Taylor,” a source told Hollywood Life . Their fans would go wild, and if they collaborated, it would break every record in history!” Bloom is more concerned about peace-making than profit. “His main interest is Katy’s peace of mind and just doing the right thing,” the source added. “He just thinks it’s toxic for Katy to have this long standing feud. “He’s a Buddhist and has been pushing for her to make peace since they’ve been a couple, and since he’s pals with Selena Gomez , he’s offered to kind of re-introduce Katy and Taylor on better terms.” Babies and olive branches and Bloom, oh my!
Ariel Winter is God’s gift to social media for many reasons. Sure, there’s the fact that Ariel has giant boobs and frequently posts pics that come within centimeters of violating Instagram’s no-nipple policy, but more importantly, she handles the slings and arrows of the Internet Age with genuinely admirable grace and humor. In this way, she demonstrates to a generation that while selfies might earn you millions of followers (It helps to be on a hit TV show, of course.), it’s the way you handle the inevitable trolls that come with those millions of followers that makes or breaks an Insta-star. Yesterday, Ariel outlined her philosophy of hater-ism, by posting a heartfelt shoutout to her cyber-bullies in the form of a lengthy Instagram post: “Every time someone bullies me online, it gives me a chance to re-emphasize to my fans, and even myself, how important self-acceptance is,” she wrote. “Those who say such harsh things on my Instagram, thank you for this opportunity – but the question I ask myself each time I read the mean comments is if this is how you talk to a stranger online, I can only imagine how cruelly you speak to yourself.” Ariel concluded the post: “I love my fans and I love my bullies for what they truly need is love. Take the high road, there is less traffic.” Pretty inspiring stuff. (We’ll even forgive the corny mom-ism at the end there.) On a somewhat related note, Ariel also posted a photo of herself in a see-through skirt earlier this week: How does that have anything to do with what Ariel wrote? Glad you asked, hypothetical reader. For some reason haters have been particularly critical of photos of Ariel’s butt . Not the photos themselves, actually, but the fact that she posted them online. Apparently, these people are unaware that in our post-Kardashian society, butt selfies are basically a form of currency. Millennia from now, future generations will study the artifacts we left behind and wonder why our society revolved around the worship of asses. View Slideshow: Ariel Winter: 33 Pics of Our Favorite Modern Family Star! Not until they discover the Kim Kardashian sex tape will they truly understand. Sorry, we kinda got off-topic there. Anyway, props to Ariel for letting the hate roll off her back.
Paloma Ford And Nick Young Dating? Father-to-be-again Nick Young was caught by paparazzi heading out for the night with model/singer Paloma Ford. The two tried to play coy by leaving in separate vehicles but Nick’s friend gave up the goods on the pair. We can’t say for sure if this is a first date or a maturing fling, but to paps Nick says “I’m happy” when asked about the two hooking up. TMZ Welp! Nick Young seems to be happily moving on from Iggy and evidently the mother of his children Keona Green who is pregnant with his second child. Hit the flip to see more of the banger Nick tried to role with but, separately. Continue reading →
Fake Fattys: 27 Times The Kardashian Clan Revealed Their Botched Up Body Parts It’s no secret that the Kardashian crew has had their share of needles and knives but sometimes their expensive lady lumps leave less to be desired. Flip the script to see what we mean. Are these body parts botched or beautiful? Don’t forget to drop your thoughts in the comments. Continue reading →
Note to Kim Kardashian : You could learn a lot from Laura Mazza. Late last month, Mazza, who blogs for the website Mum on the Run, posted side-by-side photos of herself on Facebook. One was snapped before she had kids. The other was snapped after she had kids. And instead of focusing on some absolute need to lose all the weight that built up due to her pregnancies – like certain reality stars out there continue to do – Mazza said she wanted to share her “Victory Story” with followers. Meaning what, exactly? We’ll let Mazza explain in her own words because the words are all pretty much perfect. Take a look at the before-and-after images above and then read her inspiring message below: No, this isn’t a before and after shot of weight loss. But it is a victory story. I write this from my heart. It hurts. On the left – This was my body before kids. No stretch marks or scars from belly button piercings. A belly button that was high. A flat stomach. I was always on a diet back then. And this was the best diet I went on. I used to take photos of my progress. Uploading this photo wouldn’t be bad, it’s like me being in a bikini. It’s socially acceptable. I took progress photos because it meant I was closer to be a weight where I would love myself. I ate no carbs, and barely any vegetables. Just meat. But I loved it because I was losing weight rapidly and the more bones that protruded the more I valued myself. I ended up hating meat, and was always suffering from heartburn. But still I looked at this photo, this image of myself, like I was fat. There was nothing wrong with the way I looked. My body was mine. No one else would have said anything, they would have told me I looked fit, that I was healthy. I remember people asking me what my excercise routine was… They admired me. I admired me! I bought a whole new wardrobe. I was so proud. I showed off my body. On the right is me now. Stretch marks. A droopy belly button. Thicker, not many bones protruding, but more dimples that represent cellulite. People don’t want to see this photo. All of a sudden it’s not okay. It’s not pleasing to the eye anymore. It’s not a body to be admired. This body, it’s not a result of just meat. It’s a result of eating everything. Fruit, vegetables, carbs; pasta, rice, cakes, chocolate.. Sometimes 20 chicken nuggets. Fish… It’s not always healthy but 99% of it is. The nuggets are for when I’m tired.. Sure. The scars and stretch marks and jiggly tummy is because I made humans. I ate a little more cake, I drank a little more wine. I made mug cakes at 9pm and snuggled on the couch with my husband. But for some reason, I didn’t love this body. It’s sad. This body didnt deserve sexy underwear, or a new wardrobe. Sometimes I didn’t even want to take pregnancy photos because I was ashamed of how big I looked. I didn’t admire this body. I felt like people were forcing me to love my body. “You’ve only got one”… Well, I don’t care. I want to be skinny. But shit, when I was, I wasn’t happy. And I certainly wasn’t healthy. But you know what? I have achieved more with this body, then I have with my old body. I’ve eaten more good foods. I’ve lived more, I’ve given more, I’ve enjoyed more. I’ve made life. This body, THIS body should be celebrated and admired. I should admire myself. I should love myself. I get it now. Celebrating all body types. All body types and the stories that go with that body. Above all, THE person should be celebrated. Healthy bodies should be celebrated. Healthy should be what we strive for. Healthy minds, healthy journey’s and however that reflects on to our bodies, we should admire it. I still want to look like the first photo, no doubt. I miss that body, it makes me sad. But I want to get there in a healthy way, mentally and physically. I want to be proud and at peace with this body. And I want to like what I’ve got now. No.. I want to love what I’ve got now. No matter what size you are, a size 6 or size 60. You deserve to celebrate it. Sexy underwear AND a new wardrobe. So love your body, because you truly really really, only get one! And it’s STILL sexy to wear granny jocks! Woop woop! Case closed. Mic dropped. Internet hero, revealed. Thank you, Laura Mazza.
Kim Kardashian is a gutter pig, but she’s rich and fuck and more interestingly shameless as fuck. It’s like they make 100s of millions of dollars a year, and this haggard plastic surgery ridden pig…who is some shade of shit color…still walks around with her tits out like some gutter street hooker…more importantly…she’s married to a very rich and famous rapper…and she still plays this gutter street hooker…not to mention she was raised as an LA rich gig…yet she still plays the street hooker…because she knows her audience is black men and the women who want to fuck them…which is everyone… The funny thing about these demon, is that if the price is right, she’ll do it. She’ll promote skinny teas or protein powders like the den mother instagram hooker…without even thinking twice…she’s got a compelled and engaged audience who are locked the fuck in…and her social media team needs to be financed and paid for so bring in the shameless ads. We live in a world where people like ads….it makes zero sense to me…but what makes less than zero sense to me is that she’s so influential…kids are getting her plastic surgery procedures and are looking like this…it’s fucked….but tits are tits…and we can’t hate anyone showing tits..even if we all collectively she should be taken out back and shot like the old cow she is…. The post Kim Kardashian Nipples of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
