Watch your sugar… Patti LaBelle Announces New Walmart Desserts After the success of her # PattiPies , Patti LaBelle’s back with more confection creations. The songstress/chef is debuting five new desserts at Walmart; three cobblers, a sweet potato loaf and an apple pecan cake. People Magazine reports: After the massive success of her sweet potato pies in 2015, the legendary singer has developed five new desserts which will be available exclusively at Walmart starting Tuesday, August 29. On the menu are three cobblers (apple, peach, and berry), apple pecan cake, and sweet potato loaf — a nod to last year’s pie that’s similar to banana bread. To help create the recipes, LaBelle drew upon family recipes as well as her own experimentation in the kitchen. “I’ve been cooking for most of my life,” she tells PEOPLE. “As you’re standing in the kitchen and you think of certain ingredients, you just put them in — sometimes they work, and sometimes they don’t.” The desserts — which LaBelle says are “for anyone with good taste” — are pre-baked, you just have to toss them in the oven to warm them through again. And the best part? “You can even lie and say you made them,” she laughs. (Duly noted.) Will YOU be buying??? WENN, Walmart
There’s a movie coming out called The Same Kind Of Different As Me and I could end this article by saying the full name of the book it’s based on is Same Kind of Different As Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together . There are maybe seven words in that title alone that indicate this is some f*ck sh*t. The movie stars Renee Zellweger’s new face™, Renee Zellweger’s southern accent, Greg Kinnear phoning it in, Jon Voigt as Disheveled Donald Trump and Djimon Hounsou filling up the drinking gourd with his dignity before pouring it out in remembrance of what’s left of his career. The movie is pretty much what comes up if you type in All Lives Matter on the Pornhub search bar. So here’s the plot: Djimon Hounsou is a raging, homeless, mysterious savage Black man who needs to be saved by a White couple and their racist dad. Do they save him? Who cares…at least their White, loving marriage is saved. So yay! I originally was going to do this to the Magical Negro Eddie Murphy movie where he sacrifices his whole life and literally dies for the preservation of a White woman. But this trailer makes that movie look like It Takes A Nation Of Millions… had a baby with Gil Scott-Heron. This is the Illmatic of magic negro movies. So here’s the trailer. Let’s talk. :01-:05 – We start with an accent that’s pretty indiscernible. I’ll go on to learn that this is Renee Zellweger’s New Face’s™ New Southern Accent. That’s fine but it really sounds like someone deep fried a Tickle Me Elmo. :05-:10 – We learn that Renee Zellweger’s character – she doesn’t have a name so let’s call her “I Have A Black Friend” or IHABF – had a dream about a “poor wise man who changes the city.” She didn’t mention that he was Black, which is the least believable part of this whole trailer. IHABF seems like the type of woman who will tell you about every time she sees a Black person. She seems very much like the I was at Kroger and a Black woman was in aisle three type of White woman. So there’s zero percent chance she didn’t actually tell her husband “there was a poor wise man in my dream and he was BLACK.” :10 – Waitaminute. That looks familiar. THEY FILMED THIS IN JACKSON, MS WHY HATH YOU DESECRATED MY HOMETOWN LIKE THIS WE’VE GONE THROUGH SO MUCH GET THIS DEVILMENT AWAY FROM MY FAMILY :19 – New Faced Zelly Wegs is working the kitchen. Look in the background. It’s confirmed what I’d suspected all along. Look at how full those seasoning containers are. No need to say any more. :23 – Greg Kinnear is generally a good actor but it’s pretty clear his character’s name is Twitter Egg Avi. He’s the reluctant giver with a heart of gold below his judgmental pseudo-racism. :25-:40 – Ohhh snap! Twitter Egg Avi cheated on his wife’s new face. Tragedy! These two White people are surrounded by homeless people who had devastating tragedies but screw those hobos I’m crying over their failed marriage. Remember: White inconvenience trumps everyone else’s suffering any day of the week and twice on Sundays. :40-:47 – AHHHH SAVAGE! Is this supposed to be an inspirational film or a horror movie. BY GOD THERE’S A BLACK MAN ON THE LOOSE. AND HE HAS A BAT. This is the America Obama always wanted. 1:03 – 1:10 – This is the money shot. Twitter Egg Avi tells Djimon he wants to be friends and we get the slow pan and the soon-to-be infamous “well umma gunna have to think about that.” You know how some actors did deep into source material to really dig into a character? Remember how Leonardio DiCaprio ate bison testicles for his movie about killing Native Americans or whatever? Well Djimon did something similar: he made a DJ Screw tape of old Amos N’ Andy shows and learned how to be the most regressive Black man whose name doesn’t rhyme with Badea. 1:16 – There’s literally hours of B roll that’s just “Black Guy Receiving Styrofoam and Foil” they’ve filmed for this movie. Hours. The carbon footprint on this movie is going to destroy this planet. If depression from watching the movie doesn’t do it first. 1:17 – This is what Donald Trump is going to look and sound like on December 1, 2016 after he’s lost the election and gets his own TV show on Fox News and a column in People . 1:24 – I’m not exaggerating. Every five seconds there’s a clip of White people handing a homeless Black man something. If you listen closely you’ll hear Mike Pence letting out a post-coital moan. 1:29 – Booty had me like… Ha, no but seriously, this is what it looks like when racism is corroding your organs one White a$$ Hollywood movie at a time. 1:30 – This is an actual exchange: I Have A Black Friend: “Kind of sexy what you did today” Twitter Egg Avi: “Hanging out with a homeless guy?” I Have A Black Friend: “How was it?” Twitter Egg Avi: “Actually it was kind of amazing” Then I imagine he says “technically, it’s only 3/5ths of a homeless guy AMIRIGHT?” 1:42 – 1:46 – Oh, now we know why the Black guy is there…to homelessly sacrifice himself for the reclamation of White love. It’s a tale as old as time. 1:53-1:55 – Whether we’s rich or we’s po’ we’s all homeless. WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN. Djimon is now preaching in a church and he looks like Meth Danny Glover and I don’t know what this sentence means at all. And what year does this take place in? I guarantee no Black person alive right now says “we’s.” Zero percent. 2:03-2:06 – White love. There’s nothing better. A montage of how the Black guy made White people happy. There’s nothing better. Also, I think his head is stuck to her face. And is this Brad Paisley music giving us the soundtrack? The “Accidental Racist” guy? LL Cool J didn’t die in a Respectability Fire for us to still have to watch movies like these. I can’t wait to go see this movie and leave out yelling at homeless people to stop making excuses and find more White friends to get their lives together. Shoot me. Continue reading →
Sweetie Pie’s Owner Sues Her Son Over Trademark Infringement And Theft Looks like some drama is being served at your favorite soul food TV spot according to Biz Journals : Robbie Montgomery, reality TV star and founder of St. Louis restaurant Sweetie Pie’s, has accused her son of stealing money and misusing her trademarks to open competing restaurants, according to a lawsuit filed in federal court Tuesday. The suit, filed in the Eastern District of Missouri, said that Montgomery discovered last summer that James T. Norman “had been misappropriating Plaintiff’s accounts and funds maintained in connection with his management of” Sweetie Pie’s in The Grove, at 4270 Manchester Ave. The suit said Norman withdrew “substantial sums of money” from the accounts and used them to open and operate restaurants in North Hollywood, California; Berkeley and Florissant. It also said Norman has refused to return the money. The suit accuses Norman of violating Sweetie Pie’s trademarks. “Authorized” Sweetie Pie’s locations are located in The Grove and in Dellwood, according to the suit, but TJ’s Sweetie Pie’s Noho (North Hollywood, California), TJ’s Sweetie Pie’s Airport (Berkeley) and Sweetie Pie’s Kitchen (Florissant) are not authorized. Montgomery’s first restaurant, in Dellwood, opened in 1996, and recently reopened. A listed phone number for The Grove restaurant was disconnected Wednesday. The suit said Norman’s misuse of Sweetie Pie’s marks, registered with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in 2006, impairs Montgomery’s ability to operate her restaurants in the St. Louis area and to open any restaurants in the Los Angeles area. The suit cited negative online reviews for Norman’s restaurants as having damaged the perception of Montgomery’s. SMH!!!!!!!
It’s been several years since Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes cheated on their spouses together. Of course, some wounds never fully heal, and it seems that Brandi Glanville and Dean Sheremet may just now be realizing that the best way to get over their exes is to get under their ex’s exes. Yes, there’s reason to believe that Brandi and Dean are gettin’ it on. The rumors that Glanville and Sheremet are dating began back in May, when they randomly started popping up on one another’s social media pages and podcasts. Then it turned out the reason they suddenly appeared so chummy is that they’re hosting a cooking show together . Of course, that doesn’t definitively mean they’re NOT banging, right? Either way, the rumor is alive and well again thanks to Brandi’s latest Twitter post: Brandi captioned the above pic: “Now their [sic] are 2 men allowed in my kitchen @Deansheremet and my baby Mason Cibrian -he made dinner tonight #killedit Naturally, Dean re-tweeted it, which only got people talking even more. Does it actually mean anything? Well, we can’t say for sure, but Brandi had to know what she was doing when she tweeted it. Sheremet is recently divorced and Brandi is so famous for being single that she was on a show called Famously Single . So you have two eligible, semi-famous folks cooking together and tweeting hearts at one another. We have no idea if these two will ever actually date, but you can bet something happened at some point.
Soooo, Brandi Glanville posed in her undies and complained about her post-baby waistline. The thing is, I’m not sure if I should be looking at a particular part of her torso, because she looks like a weight loss “After” picture. “Trying to get my pre-baby waistline back :/,” Glanville wrote on June 5th. “Have a little more work to do.” Glanville can be forgiven for wanting to keep it super-right and super-tight; her new E! reality show, Famously Single premieres on June 14th, and the model knows that when you feel good, you look good. Glanville co-star on the “relationship rehab” show alongside Jersey Shore’s Pauly D, former Danity Kane member Aubrey O’Day, The Bachelorette ‘s Josh Murray, model Jessica White, former NFL player Willis McGahee, Love & Hip Hop ‘s Somaya Reece, and British reality star Calum Best. In a press release for the show, Glanville revealed the number one reason why she signed on. “I’m single because I tend to sabotage relationships when I get even the smallest amount of suspicion,” Glanville admitted. “Only a small percentile of men can actually keep it in their pants.” View Slideshow: 9 Celebrities Who Will Probably Swipe You Left on Tinder Famously Single isn’t Glanville’s only gig; In addition to her podcast, Brandi Glanville Unfiltered , the Sacramento native is set to host My Kitchen Rules , a cooking competition with LeAnn Rimes’ ex-husband, Dean Sheremet. Additionally, Glanville recently revealed that she would definitely consider returning to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills . With Kathryn Edwards reportedly out , there’s room to spare for the franchise’s resident trouble maker. “I’m not ruling it out absolutely, but I’m so much happier not doing the show at the moment,” Glanville told Australia’s NW magazine. “It was toxic after a while, so it’s good to get a break.” Glanville formed a strong bond with Kim Richards, who also left the show to work on her sobriety. There is no word from Bravo on who will appear on the next season of Beverly Hills . View Slideshow: 12 Things We Miss (and Love!) About Brandi Glanville
Tracy Morgan Admits That He Contemplated Suicide After His Tragic Car Accident When Tracy Morgan hosted Saturday Night Live last year, we all rejoiced. He appeared to have fully recovered from the car accident that we feared would take his life. Fast-forward 21 months and Tracy is now taking time to reflect publicly on his mental and physical state during that very difficult time via Rolling Stone … In the wake of Morgan’s injuries, it felt like his worst fears were coming true. “I said, ‘If my funny ever went away, I’d die,’” he says on a Monday evening in his New Jersey home, a few days before the Michigan show. “And I thought I was going to die for a long time. My thoughts – I was in a very dark place. I was sitting right here, contemplating suicide. I couldn’t walk.” He’s in an easy chair facing a TV in his living room, near a cylindrical tank where his giant Pacific octopus lurks, waiting for its next meal of lobster. Morgan insisted on leaving the hospital early and continuing his rehabilitation at home. “You go to hospitals to f***ing die,” he says. “If I got to go, I wanted to be in the house with my family.” For the first couple of weeks, he stayed in the second-floor bedroom, unable to navigate the stairs. “My wife heard all the screaming,” he says, calling Megan over from the kitchen, where she and her mother are playing with Maven, who is dressed head-to-toe in Disney gear. “She changed all the bedsheets when I s**t on myself. She knows.” Personal injuries aside, it appears that part of what lead Tracy to that “dark place” was the death of his friend and mentor Jimmy Mack. Morgan struggled with feelings of guilt, reminding himself that everyone in the car was there because of him. “Emotionally, it’s hard for me to deal with,” he says. “I asked everybody to be there that night. I have to live with that. But I had to forgive myself. I know Jimmy would want it like that.” He cues up a song he’d play to soothe himself in his dark moments – which happens to be the smooth-jazz theme from Taxi – and begins to weep. “I remember the days,” he murmurs. “I remember them days. Jesus.” Morgan has zero desire to recover his memories of that night. “The past is nothing but a forest filled with horrors,” he says, gravely. Because it is Tracy Morgan saying these words, I can’t help but laugh. He grins a little, and starts repeating the phrase, putting some spin on it, pushing it fully around the corner to comedy. “Nothing but a forest full of horrors,” he intones. We’re beyond thrilled that Tracy did not choose to end his life. His unique brand of comedy is needed in these days when there are SO many things that can bring us down on a daily basis. God bless Tracy Morgan and his family. Image via Splash
Tracy Morgan Admits That He Contemplated Suicide After His Tragic Car Accident When Tracy Morgan hosted Saturday Night Live last year, we all rejoiced. He appeared to have fully recovered from the car accident that we feared would take his life. Fast-forward 21 months and Tracy is now taking time to reflect publicly on his mental and physical state during that very difficult time via Rolling Stone … In the wake of Morgan’s injuries, it felt like his worst fears were coming true. “I said, ‘If my funny ever went away, I’d die,’” he says on a Monday evening in his New Jersey home, a few days before the Michigan show. “And I thought I was going to die for a long time. My thoughts – I was in a very dark place. I was sitting right here, contemplating suicide. I couldn’t walk.” He’s in an easy chair facing a TV in his living room, near a cylindrical tank where his giant Pacific octopus lurks, waiting for its next meal of lobster. Morgan insisted on leaving the hospital early and continuing his rehabilitation at home. “You go to hospitals to f***ing die,” he says. “If I got to go, I wanted to be in the house with my family.” For the first couple of weeks, he stayed in the second-floor bedroom, unable to navigate the stairs. “My wife heard all the screaming,” he says, calling Megan over from the kitchen, where she and her mother are playing with Maven, who is dressed head-to-toe in Disney gear. “She changed all the bedsheets when I s**t on myself. She knows.” Personal injuries aside, it appears that part of what lead Tracy to that “dark place” was the death of his friend and mentor Jimmy Mack. Morgan struggled with feelings of guilt, reminding himself that everyone in the car was there because of him. “Emotionally, it’s hard for me to deal with,” he says. “I asked everybody to be there that night. I have to live with that. But I had to forgive myself. I know Jimmy would want it like that.” He cues up a song he’d play to soothe himself in his dark moments – which happens to be the smooth-jazz theme from Taxi – and begins to weep. “I remember the days,” he murmurs. “I remember them days. Jesus.” Morgan has zero desire to recover his memories of that night. “The past is nothing but a forest filled with horrors,” he says, gravely. Because it is Tracy Morgan saying these words, I can’t help but laugh. He grins a little, and starts repeating the phrase, putting some spin on it, pushing it fully around the corner to comedy. “Nothing but a forest full of horrors,” he intones. We’re beyond thrilled that Tracy did not choose to end his life. His unique brand of comedy is needed in these days when there are SO many things that can bring us down on a daily basis. God bless Tracy Morgan and his family. Image via Splash
Roland Martin was joined by media consultants Autumn Joi, Tony Redz, and Bobby Pen for this week’s journey into madness. Kicking off our list of insanity is a man caught on camera in the kitchen dancing suggestively to Rihanna’s new hit single, “Work.” Tony Redz said the hefty dancer “looked like he was happy he was about to eat.” ______
