Tag Archives: life

Dear Bossip , I’m currently in a relationship with a man who has a daughter. I on the other hand don’t have any children. I met him about 5 years ago and we dated. I specifically asked him was he ready to be in a relationship, he told me no. So, I began dating other people. I was showing him some pictures in my phone and he continued scrolling through my pictures and came across a picture of a guy and he flipped out. After that incident we went our separate ways. All communication between us was cut off. Fast forward about 2 ½ years and he decided to send me a message on Facebook. We got together and caught up. When I met him 5 years ago he didn’t have any children. Now, he has a 1 year old. I was real leery of getting involved with a guy with kids, but honestly this child has made an honest man out of him. I just love seeing him be a great father. That was a year ago. Now, we’re in a committed relationship. About a month or two ago we were over his parent’s home and to my surprise his mom pulled me to the side and told me that he’s expecting twins with his child’s mother. I had no clue of this. He didn’t mention this to me at all before we decided to make our relationship official. I asked him about it and he told me that he doesn’t really think she’s pregnant. He also told me that if she is pregnant he’s going to get a DNA test on the children. When his child’s mother was pregnant with his first child she confessed to him that she wasn’t sure if the baby was his. He got a DNA test and it proved the child is his. To bring things up to speed, his sister came out and said that his child’s mother is expecting twin boys. Now, I’m positive she’s pregnant and he’s probably the father. Now, that we’re in a relationship I’m not sure if I can handle being in a relationship with someone with three small children. I’m in my early 20s with my Bachelors degree and I plan on furthering my education – Should I Walk Away Dear Ms. Should I Walk Away , Uhm, sweetie, if his child’s mother is pregnant with twins right now, then, uhm, you do realize that he cheated on you while he was in a committed relationship with you. So, why wouldn’t you confront him about his infidelity? SMDH! I don’t understand why some of you will go back to an ex after years of being broken up, and being separated. Just because someone from your past reaches out to you on Facebook, or any social media outlet, it doesn’t mean you have to respond. It doesn’t mean you have to go back and try to make it work again. If it didn’t work the first time, then it’s not going to work the second time around. Why go back and get into the same mess you left? They are an ex for a reason. UGH!!! Now, here you are, a grown woman, with some education, and doing things for yourself, and your ex is still doing the same –ish he was doing years ago. He has a small child, and now his same baby momma is pregnant with twins. You and he were together at the time of her conception, which means he was cheating on you with her. So, Ms. Smarty-Pants, what do you think you should do? Do you think you should stay with this man who cheated on you with his baby momma? Do you want to be with this man who will have three small children, yet, you have none? Do you want to deal with his baby momma drama? Do you want to deal with him not having any money to take you out because all of his income will be going toward his three children? Leave. Get out of the relationship. The reason his mother and sister both told you that he is expecting twins is because they both know he ain’t –ish, and they don’t want to see him mess up your life. You seem like you have your head on your shoulders and you’re a good and wonderful person, and they are protecting you and giving you the red signs to take heed and leave his bum a**. You’re young, you have a lot going for you, and a lot to look forward to, and one of them is not being in a relationship with a man who has three small children, and dealing with baby momma drama. He cannot do anything for you. He will be forever on child support, and he will not be able to take you out, buy you anything, or do anything special with you because he has to deal with his children, his responsibilities as a dad and parent, and giving his money to her. Why stay with a man who cannot commit himself fully to you emotionally, mentally, and physically? Do yourself a favor and get out of the relationship, delete him out of your life, and focus on you. Focus on your life, and be thankful that you are not baby momma number two, and having to deal with his other child’s mother and you being pregnant. Be thankful that his mother and sister warned you, and hipped you to him and his trifling ways. Girl, buy them some flowers and send them a thank you note. Then, I’m going to need for you to stop responding to exes who reach out to you on social media. Stop going backward and repeating the same behaviors over and over again. They are an ex for a reason. Move forward. Life is about moving ahead, forward, and not backward. You stay in this relationship, then don’t be surprised by the drama you will experience and the stress you will encounter. It will be at your own demise. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean :  loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!        

Link:
Dear Bossip: I Reconnected With An Ex Who Has A Child, Now I’ve Learned His Baby Momma Is Expecting His Twins