Tag Archives: like-the-time

Taylor Momsen is the Slutty Teen of the Day

Taylor Momsen doesn’t have shit on the real hooker I saw this weekend. She also wore a short skirt, tight outfit, shitty bleached hair, but instead of make-up, bitch had a real rugged “Just got fucked for money” look, and instead of pantyhose, or thigh highs with garters, she had her fishnets tattooed on her legs and I thought that took being a whore to the next fucking level, it was like she accepted this was and always will be her life, while Taylor Momsen is just a clown mocking that for attention, like a kid on Halloween, it is so artificial, it is funny, but at the same time we need to come together and celebrate an underage girl dressed slutty, no matter what the occasion or how lame, boring, pathetic, useless, ugly, fat or stupid she is, because in the end it’s still an underage girl dressed slutty, and that’s always lots of fun to look at….

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Taylor Momsen is the Slutty Teen of the Day

Jessica Alba Covered Up and Insecure at a Photoshoot of the Day

Jessica Alba got booked to do a photoshoot, something she hasn’t really been asked to do for a while, you know since she committed career suicide by becoming a family woman thanks to an arrogance that came from all the constant re-affirmation, and she looks pissed. The paparazzi say it is because her stylist put her in some half naked outfit, an outfit her body probably can’t handle as well as she’d like it to, or as well as it used to and she proves that by walking around covered the fuck up like a fat chick at the waterpark, with a miserable looking face cuz she clearly didn’t win the fight. It’s a rat race out there and if you wanna make money, you gotta step the fuck up and strip the fuck down like the whore that you and your uterus are…. I’m loving these pictures, but that’s just because I love insecure girls, especially when they were the hot chick, like the time I slammed the captain of the high school cheerleading squad, 15 years after graduation, or what I like to call 15 years of getting fat, miserable, down on your luck, broke and pretty much as gutter as possible….but the whole time her sloppy tits slapped against her chin and I lost feeling from my waist down, I knew what she was and what she became and that kind of sad story will always be porn to me… So here’s an angry Mom Alba bringing back the memories of what once was…..but she shouldn’t be so nervous and miserable…they are obviously gonna photoshop the shit out of her and the only people who have to see her stretch-maked ass and stomach are the poor fools on set….who I hope hate their jobs enough to leak the un-retouched pictures to me…

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Jessica Alba Covered Up and Insecure at a Photoshoot of the Day

Coco Posts Pictures of her Bikini Wax of the Day

Coco is a whore. Sure she only has one client and she “married” him in exchange for the good life, but she also likes to tap into her roots, where she was every man’s woman, as she stripped for groups of men on the regular, before realizing she could get pictures out there for guys to look at, which I don’t understand because she looks like a plastic, piece of fucking trash, but I guess people are into that….because girls like this are the fantasy you want to fuck out of curiosity, like the time I shoved my finger in a light socket, since no one marries pussy like this, unless you’re a rapper, trying to make a point…. Here she is posting pictures from a bikini wax, something I used to have a fascination with before bikini waxes went totally mainstream, it was actually more of a fetish, that started with me bringing a take home wax kit home and waxing a pussy and that turned into me trying to get in on every bikini wax I could by going to different salons and telling them I was interning as a waxer, or filming a documentary, or any lie I could come up with to get in there and see as many pussies as a waxer does….but my lie never worked….

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Coco Posts Pictures of her Bikini Wax of the Day

Miley Cyrus’ White Trash Hick Cowboy Mouth of the Day

I watched the Academy Awards, or I like to call it the dick sucking fest for people who don’t really need their dicks sucked cuz they already have fooled society enough into getting ridiculously rich by pretty much playing and pretending they work. I don’t want to bother reliving the shit, cuz I tweeted the shit and I figure everyone else was too, and I’m sure everyone is talking about it today, because we are bored in life and need this celebrity shit to entertain us, or distract us, because it’s easier than finding a hobby, or doing something of value, even though the celebrity shit is just as bullshit as the movies they are in…but I did notice that Miley Cyrus was showing off her tits and despite knowing she’s a rich and slutty teenager who is starting to show off her recently developed tits, like the time my stepdaughter thought it was a good idea to show us all her used tampon the day she got her first period.. I just like the fact that Miley proves that you can take a girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of her mouth. It’s like she wants her white trash inbred lookin’ mouth, like she doesn’t want to forget her toothless crooked mouthed redneck heritage, even though she can afford a set of the best vaneers…. Pics via Bauer

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Miley Cyrus’ White Trash Hick Cowboy Mouth of the Day

Anna Beatriz Barros Photoshoot for DT Magazine of the Day

Here is the last standing Brazilian models we all went nuts for the last decade thanks to Victoria’s Secret kidnapping them from their lives, stripping them into their underwear and bikinis and taking pictures of them to share with all of us. I call her the last standing Brazilian model because I think on of the other ones is a man and the other is a mom, so enjoy this bitch while it lasts, and that’s all I have to say about that.

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Anna Beatriz Barros Photoshoot for DT Magazine of the Day

Kirstin Cavallari Hits the Gym of the Day

I like to laugh at Kristin Cavallari, not because she’s Kristin with an “i”, which is fucking obnoxious in and of itself, but I guess it differentiates her from all the other Kristen’s who spell their names like they’re supposed to, you know since she’s an individual or some shit, but because she had the balls to think think she was bigger and better than her MTV fake reality show and walked only to come back when the money started drying up and she realized it is all she’s good for. It’s almost like the time my favorite stripper at one of the clubs I used to frequent told me she was going to move to LA to be an actress, and my cynicism laughed in her face, in a “yeah, that’s gonna work out for you, see you next week when you get back” kinda way, and sure enough 6 months later, there she was, back on stage, only about 10 years older because the guy she had met who promised her the LA career, was actually a pimp and she spent those months on drugs and whoring herself……only to come back where she left off, substantially more damaged than she was before, all because of an insane fucking dream….only Cavallari just isn’t as hot…and probably doesn’t have as good of a stage show…. Pics via Fame

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Kirstin Cavallari Hits the Gym of the Day

Russian Kids Viciously Pranking Each Other

Some painful, often hilarious pranks from the motherland.

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Russian Kids Viciously Pranking Each Other

Cute Kids’ Video Game Quintet

There is also some choreography during the Tetris segment, if that's more to your tastes. This is like the time I was Snow White for the 3-year-old Suzuki Halloween concert, except these kids are talented.

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Cute Kids’ Video Game Quintet

Ben Silverman, We Will Miss You

That NBC chair Ben Silverman is flying/being pushed out of the peacock coop isn’t really all that surprising. He’s always been kind of a disaster. A blowhard (in more ways than one) party boy with streaks of ego and irresponsibility

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Ben Silverman, We Will Miss You