Christmas is the most wonderful time of year, and I’ve decided to compile another annual Gift Guide because that’s just the kind of guy I am…helping you fucking peasants…find amazing gift ideas for you and yours…whoever that may be…maybe just for you…because I can’t imagine anyone loving your depressing ass enough to invite you to Christmas celebrations… shad If you have been reading the site, you’ll know I fucking love Christmas, I listhanden to Christmas songs all year round, I also let girls sit on my lap all year round and ask them if they’ve been naughty or nice… So this post…is the post of the year…the most meaningful i’ve got…TAKE IT ALL IN… ————————————- 1-DRESS TO UNDRESS WITH TRENDY BUTLER Our first gift idea is the gift of style, because anyone who is well dressed, unlike me, presents and packages themselves to the world as someone worth fucking or fucking with. It helps in business, in dating, in everything…and I may be unemployed, I may be a degenerate, I may wear sweatpants three sizes too small…but I know how important looking good is if you want to get what you want out of life…assuming what you want out of life is more than just herpes/booze, or other low level easy to acquire things like me… This is a solid fucking gift for yourself… New trendy outfits delivered to your door every month. But don’t get too attached. Get 50% off your first month! Enter Code DRESSME50 at checkout. GET IT!! Get yours now perfect for Christmas – CLICK HERE ————————————- 2-TUSHY ASS CLEANER I have the worst fucking hemorrhoids in the world, some days I can’t even walk, it’s been years of drinking, eating shit, and sitting on the fucking computer as a fat man…so I know the pain that is Toilet Paper…no matter how soft they get those chemical filled things…so I’m a shit and shower kind of guy…but I did used to bang some married chick who had a Bidet, prior to my Hemmies, and I used it and thought, nice an asshole shower…without a whole shower…Brilliant… I’ve also seen and wanted Japanese Toilet seats forever, but they are unaffordable, so when this product landed in my inbox…it was a no brainer… I am going to be buying everyone I know at least one of them…it’s the gift that keeps giving…everytime your friends take a shit they’ll be thinking of you…. Stop smearing sh*t around with toilet paper after taking a dump. The TUSHY butt wash will rinse away all those excess dingleberries with a precise stream of fresh water and clean your chocolate starfish, no matter how gnarly the poop. Treat yourself to a TUSHY butt wash. Get one for your bros for Christmas, bless your Great Aunt Miriam with a TUSHY for Hanukkah, and maybe even one for your girlfriend’s house for those massive dumps after holiday feasting. For only $69 and 10 minutes to install, any boring old toilet can be transformed into a pooper’s paradise. Seriously, wiping your ass with TP sucks. Snap a TUSHY on to any toilet and appreciate the magic of having a bidet butt-washing oasis only steps away. Aunt Miriam will thank you. Stop wiping with toilet paper, start washing with TUSHY Get yours now – It is Perfect for Christmas CLICK HERE NOW ————————————- 3-The Hand Pilot A monthly package for his package, the gift that keeps coming, that keeps the cumming cumming…because we live in an era where jerking off is normal, there’s so much fucking porn out there and everyone is jerking off 4-5 times a day, when not fucking, because let’s face it, girls don’t like fucking you…and I am sure that applies to everyone you know… This is not just a gift for your lonely on the holidays self, even your married friends who don’t want to fuck their wife, your dad who doesn’t want to fuck your mom and really any dude who wants to jerk off better with a drawer of jerk off tools, the monthly jerk off tool treat…will appreciate you…so make it happen today. Get yours now perfect for Christmas – CLICK HERE NOW! ————————————- 4-All Natural T Ras Rolling Co Roll it up, all natural….because Each wrap is hand selected and inspected to ensure that it has all of the right properties for a great roll. Being all natural, each wrap is completely unique. These wraps provide a light airiness to your smoking with minimal to no taste… Everyone and their grandmother smokes weed, so why not give them the healthy shit to roll it up and smoke it up with.. A great gift, a great stocking stuffer, a great time…. All Smokers who still like to actually smoke like they’re supposed to…will be into this…so get them what they want…
Original post:
DrunkenStepfather’s Holiday Gift Guide of the Day
