Tag Archives: love and relationships

Dear Bossip: Why is He Discussing Our Problems With his Ex?

Dear Bossip, I’ve been with my man for about 2 years and I’m just now catching wind of something that has become a huge issue. Like, I said, we’ve been together for 2 years and like any other couple we’ve had out issues. I try my best to communicate with him when we have our problems and I make a point to listen and take his thoughts and feelings into consideration. We’ve been going back and forth about moving in together but I have my reservations about living with him before we’re at lease engaged. I’m 31 and have taken care of myself and I work hard to maintain my lifestyle. I don’t think that I should abandon everything I’ve worked so hard for just to say that I live with my boyfriend and my place is too small for the both of us. I’m just to old for a roommate situation if you know what I mean. Ever since we had that blow up about a month ago he’s been making little remarks that suggest I think I’m too good to live with him and catches little attitudes with me for no reason. I realize he could have any woman he wants and could convince plenty of them to do what he wants them to do…….including his ex who I believe isn’t over him. Me, not so much I’m no fool. I’m not budging. Lately I’ve noticed his ex has been calling him frequently and he’s been calling her too. Only to overhear a conversation when he thought I was sleep on the couch and she was saying things like “if she doesn’t make you happy then move on. She doesn’t know what she has. And baby I know you and that’s not like you to do this and that.” Then she said that I’m lucky to have him. I was so heated I got up and left and confronted him about it the next day only for him to say that she’s a part of his life and I’m going to have to find a way to be okay with it. I told him that I feel like if it’s that serious, then he should go be with her because I’m not with that at all. It’s been a week and I haven’t spoken to him since I told him to go be with her but I really have a problem with him discussing out problems with his ex girlfriend. What should I do? Good day to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! So, yeah. It is never cool to disclose intimate details of your relationship with an ex. It’s a violation of privacy and, furthermore, violates the trust that you should have in your partner to confront you with any issue that should arise. Like, if you just have to seek an outsider’s opinion, talk to one of your boys or a family member, right? But the ex? That’s flagrantly foul and problematic in the grand scheme of things. She’s an ex for a reason! Not to say that communication has to be axed completely, but anything more than the occasional “hey! How are you? Glad you’re doing well” type conversation always causes trouble. Sis, you are stronger than most to have turned him loose and suggest that he go be with his ex since “she’s a part of his life” that you’re just going to have to deal with. You did the right thing because, the way it sounds, they might have some unfinished business to handle since the both of them are seemingly having a hard time letting go of each other. Set him free so he can gain a better perspective on what he wants and you do that same. She can be a part of his life all he wants but not on your watch, ma! You certainly do not have the time to entertain such nonsense. And thank goodness he showed you everything you needed to see before you got in too deep with this man. Could you imagine how angry you’d be if you had buckled and moved in with this cat and he pulled this stunt after the fact? This was truly a blessing in disguise! The fact that you haven’t communicated with him in a week should speak volumes to his dedication in making your relationship work. Sure, it’s more than likely painful but it’s miniscule in comparison to hurt you could’ve experienced if you had found out later … much later, like, post move-in. You’d be miserable, for sure! Seriously though,you asked what you should so and aside from what you’ve already done, you should take all the time and space you need to sort out your thoughts and feelings. Decide if this is something you’re willing to continue to invest your time and energy in. Make a decision, be firm and don’t waver! Take your time, sis! Take your time! Bossip fam, what are your thoughts? Please share them below! Please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com !

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Dear Bossip: Why is He Discussing Our Problems With his Ex?

You Just Might Be The Side Chick…

The “side chick” is one of the most maligned people this side of “the dude who stole all the money from the collection plate on the Sunday we was collecting for the baby hospital.” However, folks don’t always acknowledge the fact that the other woman might have been led to believe that she was the only woman (or that she was dealing with someone who was free to date more that one person). Head to MadameNoire.com for a few signs that you may be an unwitting participant in an affair

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You Just Might Be The Side Chick…

8 Signs That You’re Headed For A Break Up

Break-ups can be difficult. Maybe that’s one of the reason our minds are in denial in spite of the break-up signs that are presented before us; and who can blame some of us girls who were single for so long. Our temporary ‘Prince Charming’ came, but only to turn into a toad. The fact that our relationship may be unfolding before us can be a hard thing to grasp. Read more at MadameNoire.com

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8 Signs That You’re Headed For A Break Up

10 Tips To Finding The Love Of Your Life

Do you believe in love? I do. Whether it’s the belief in one soul mate, or the belief that one has the opportunity for many loves in a lifetime, experiencing love is indeed a wonderful thing. Love is such an incredible experience, and everyone should have. If you haven’t experienced it, or think you never will, I have a few words of encouragement and advice for you. There’s an old saying when it comes to finding love- “For every pot, there’s a lid.” Here are 10 Tips for Finding the Love of Your Life. Continued at MadameNoire.com

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10 Tips To Finding The Love Of Your Life

Sextra: She’s Beautiful but She Sucks in Bed

To the Bossip love lady. I have a puzzle for you to solve. I was married for 11 years and once the divorce was final, I took my time getting back into the dating game and finally decided to date this woman exclusively. I’m a about 8 years older than her she’s 27 and she is very smart but lacks the maturity of a woman my age. I thought that with time I could learn how to communicate with her and at this time I’m fairly content with where we are as far as talking through things go. Now this is a beautiful girl and her body is out of control but she sucks in bed. She’s stiff and hardly moves and the noises she makes are fake and even though she says she climaxed I know she didn’t. I don’t believe she’s ever had a orgasm. No matter how romantic I try to make our experience it’s the same thing time and time again. I haven’t touched her in a few weeks and to be honest I’ve lost interest. Is that like a jerk thing to do? Happy Friday to you, sir! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story. One can’t help but find the humor and irony of an aesthetically pleasing being who lacks passion. So you’ve got yourself a young one and you’re unhappy with your intimate moments. Is it because you feel like you’re doing all the work? Or, is it the age difference that’s keeping you all from connecting on an intimate level? Either way, you should really figure out what it is and go from there. Are you really into this girl? And if you are, are you willing to put in the work to grow your relationship or show her what you like and dislike? If you don’t want to date her any longer, let it be known so the both of you can move on. Despite the age difference, have you given the relationship with this young lady a fair chance? What were your intentions? Did you really want to build something solid or are you “playing the field?” Sometimes, if a woman senses there’s no longevity or feels like she can’t firmly plant herself into a potential relationship, despite your romantic gestures, she’s not going to give her all! That’s no excuse but it’s truth. Your question was: is it a jerk thing to do? And the answer is, yes. It’s a jerk thing to do because you haven’t communicated to her why you’ve lost interest and why you haven’t made strides to be intimate with her. So you should definitely tell her what’s on your mind and allow her to make a choice as to whether she wants to continue to see you and vice versa. Be honest with her and let her know that you’re losing interest. Really evaluate what you want from her and if this relationship is something you’re both willing to continue to invest your time in. Be honest and do the right thing, sir. Do the right thing. What are your thoughts, Bossip fam? Please share them below! Please remember to email all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com !

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Sextra: She’s Beautiful but She Sucks in Bed

How to Turn “Maybes” Into “Yes” in Relationships

If a man doesn’t call when he promises he will, does that mean he’s just not that into you? Maybe what were fireworks to you were barely a flicker to him, but maybe he really is just busy. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you feel the need to over-analyze your partner’s behavior in an effort to decipher how he truly feels about you? The honest truth is that biologically men’s brains aren’t built with the best communication skills and women can sometimes misinterpret their intentions. Sometimes we put so much energy into trying to play the mentalist, that we lose focus of the obvious signs. Here are some ways to figure out if that “what if” or “maybe” is a “yes” or “definitely” when direct communication just isn’t an option. Continued at MadameNoire.com

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How to Turn “Maybes” Into “Yes” in Relationships

Sextra: Who’s in Mood for Some Capricorn Lovin’?

Happy New Year, billie goats! This is your time of year and who could ask for a better year, numerically: 1.1.11? We swung into the Capricorn’s zodiacal cycle last which was, likely, a picturesque, snow covered, good time. Just like the crisp chill in the air, the Capricorn is a part of life that is always on time, inevitable and necessary for life to move on produce new fruits. Even as children, Capricorns are refined, observant and possess a strong ambition and determination for success and stability which people mistake as being shrewd or oddly conventional. But, the misunderstanding comes with their need for structure, in which they function best! So, wishy-washy, indecisive, unreliable and irresponsible individuals are automatically scratched from their personal and social realm – regardless of the relationship – friend or family, any of the aforementioned is unacceptable. Despite their direct, forward and well-planned approach to life, they are some of the most humorous people! The capricorn will keep you in stitches with their candid and casually dry sense of humor, which can become mean-spiritied and hurtful if you become a target of this astral sign’s wrath. Capricorn’s zodiac symbol is the goat and the similarities between this animal and those that fall under this sign are astounding. Like the goat, the Caps are normally introverted — or classified as the loner type — quirky and most comfortable by themselves. Reason being: they aren’t too quick to trust folks, so, instead of taking a chance, they keep to themselves. Another goat-like trait that tends to be recurring is their love of the outdoors — true lovers of nature. They will take a hike up a hillside, run for miles or take in the beauty of nature and it’s surroundings sitting by a lake or during a stroll through the park. This zodiac sign is a true adventurer and is not above being a nomad, wondering around the world to fulfill the depths of their cultural explorations. But if the goat is too extreme, they are prone to become comfortable with being lonely and, as a result, they come off as socially awkward or “out there.” But, again, they make you wonder what’s on their mind because, undoubtedly, it WILL be interesting! If you are so lucky to have one the most complex zodiacs in your life, you can hang your hat on that person being a dependable, sturdy partner. Once they are committed to a relationship, they are constantly working to keep their union a smooth operational unit and making it better. They are extremely loyal to their partners and it took some time for the Capricorn to allow that person into their intimate space, so for them, it is to be considered a privilege not to be forsaken or betrayed. If you cross that line with them, the goat will instantly become closed off and unresponsive … and they can give a mean silent treatment like no other! And when they do finally open their mouthes to express the pain you’ve cause, you better be ready pick your face, ego and pride off the floor … and sometimes the damage is irreparable. Sex with the Capricorn is truly an adventure and experimental, their sexual prowess matches their attitude towards any other endeavor: success is the only option and their eyes stay on the prize. They take their time with their lover to learn what they like and how to best deliver it … regardless of location. Yes, location — there are no boundaries to when and where! The office, the car, in the park under the stars, the kitchen … if there’s space and opportunity, why not? The Capricorns are often very playful in the bedroom, indulging and fulfilling each others fantasies and exploring the pleasures that sex brings. Anyone who has had the experience of loving on a Cap enjoyed every moment of their blissful splendor! And with every one of those moments, his/her message was clear: my love is true. My sister is a Capricorn and she is crazy! If you cross her, she will strike you with mighty force and turn green! And grow muscles! She is such a square and is extremely anal but she’s a really great person. If I had to place my sister in a category of some sort, I would say that she is a no nonsense kind of person and she could really loosen up sometimes but when she does, she’s a lot of fun! Another thing I wish I could do is take her shopping and edge up her style a little bit but if I did, I don’t believe she would be cool with the colors and pieces she should wear! Her body is gorgeous but she’s so “plain Jane.” I love her. She’s great but it a good thing we live states away, for sure. Otherwise, we would always fight like we did when we were little girls. – Melinda, 28 I’m a Capricorn and so is my wife so we but heads all the time! I didn’t realize how much of control freak she is until we got married! She is incredible! As much as she drives me crazy, I love her just as much. My life wouldn’t function properly without her because she’s very organized and takes deadlines seriously and I do too. There are definitely time where when I fall short in that arena, she can take the wheel and I don’t have to worry about it because we’re kind of type A. We’re always on the same page in that respect. Our sex life is very active and we always make time to do what we do. We might drive up to the mountains and ski for a weekend, go see a movie or lay around the house naked together. She still turns me all the way on after 8 ling years and I keep her content also. I’m confident of that. – Jabril, 35 The Capricorns that I know, I either hate them or love them! My son is a Capricorn and he used to get his a*s handed to him by his sister all the time. He is very manipulative and bossy and my girls weren’t having it! They broke him down through the years and I think because he them he’s a little more tolerable of other people’s circumstance. He can be very judgmental and cruel but we had to really check it before it got out of control, you know. He’s 21 now and he’s a really good guy, in terms of how he treats women and friends but I often wonder if he didn’t have his sisters, how much of an a*shole he’s be. I love my son with all my heart and he knows that but learned the hard way that he is not above or better than anyone. – Gail, 44 I am a Capricorn and I think I’m the freakiest of them all! Nobody can top some of the things that I’ve done and I know it. I like adventure play and toys — handcuffs, hot candle wax and light bondage — you know, that kind of thing! What I don’t think people realize about us it that we have a dark side and if anybody could pull off leading a double life, it would be us Capricorns! There’s not a whole lot that I wouldn’t try at least once and never see or speak to that person again in my life! Don’t be fooled by our schoolgirl exterior because we can hang with the best of the best. I’m just saying! – Nicole, 30 Shouts out to all the Capricorns this year! Happy birthday and make it a good one! Happy New Year, Bossip Fam! Have a blast and please be safe! Please remember to e-mail all your topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com !

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Sextra: Who’s in Mood for Some Capricorn Lovin’?

Best & Worst Places to Meet a Good Man

“Where do I find a good man?” While I don’t believe there is an exact formula to meeting a good man, I do believe the keys to finding a good man involve living your best life, while frequenting places where single men are most likely to be. And before I get to the best places (and worst places) where you’re most likely to meet a good man, I’d like to share some advice. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to live your best life- regardless of whether you have a man in it. Living your best life means being in the best possible place in your life- that means spiritually, emotionally, financially, e.t.c. Living your best life is important because it means you’ll bring more to a relationship than just a pretty face. Continued at MadameNoire.com

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Best & Worst Places to Meet a Good Man

12 Days of Hot & Steamy Holiday Sex!

The holiday season is well under way! Instead of obsessing over big ticket gifts or low price sales, try burning off some of that eggnog with some good loving? Head over to MadameNoire.com for a few ideas to help you get a little yuletide cheer with your boo.

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12 Days of Hot & Steamy Holiday Sex!