Tag Archives: martha-stewart

Celebrities According To Google Search Suggestions

You can learn a lot about celebrities by typing in their name followed by “is” on Google. For example, did you know Martha Stewart polished the brass on the Titanic? I had no idea! View

The Russian Jersey Shore Rip Off Is a Stupid Idea [Reality Check]

Since it was the most important sociological event of our time (and a ratings success) there will inevitably be dozens of new reality shows trying to rip it off. Just stop now. These are always horrible ideas. Failing to see that there would be countless lame imitators is like failing to see that JWOWW’s boobs are fake or The Situation is going to try to lure loose, drunk women into his frothy hot tub of love for a little bit of sexin’. Brighton Beach sounds like the first entrant. Though it doesn’t have a network, the show’s creators are already casting . And based on what they told the NY Post today, it sounds like they’re sticking close to the script of gross ethnic stereotypes behaving badly next to the surf. “There will be plenty of vodka, techno music and guys wearing Adidas pants, leather jackets and gold chains, and driving souped-up cars. There will also be a lot of hot, decked-out Russian girls,” Elina Miller, the show co-creator says. And that’s not the worst, they’re already biting off the show’s nicknaming convention. “We’ve heard from ‘The Entity,’ ‘B-Boy’ and ‘Mr. OTB’ [Off The Boat],” another show creator, Alina Dizik, says. This is why this is a bad idea. Brighton Beach had the potential to be as big as Jersey Shore because it probably has everything we love about JS : young people reveling in their tackiness and scummy ways and behaving very, very badly in public. However, now it’s just going to try hard to copy the guidos road to success. They’ll all have silly nicknames, they’ll have a “Siberian Husky” phone, they’ll call their spot at the club the “revolutionary square” instead of the “battle field.” Instead of trying to be authentic (which is really what we love the most about Snooki and Co), they’re just going to try to be what they think the public wants. That’s not good programming, that’s just craven fame whoring. The problem with reality show rip-offs is that they try to run with the fever for the original product but they only end up stinking like so much Designer Imposters Body Spray. This is a long tradition in the genre and every successful reality show tries to become genre onto itself. After The Apprentice was huge we had to deal with The Rebel Billionaire: Branson’s Quest for the Best , Mark Cuban’s The Benefactor , and Martha Stewart ‘s very own ill-fated shot at finding a much-maligned second in command. The Deadliest Catch gave way to countless “perilous jobs” imitators like Ice Road Truckers , Black Gold , Swords , and Ax Men . Sometimes they even cannibalize themselves— Flavor of Love begat A Shot at Love begat I Love New York begat Rock of Love begat Scott Baio Needs Someone to Fuck begat The Gays Want Antonio Sabato Jr Back on TV . Reality television is like a retrovirus. Once a good strain is introduced it constantly tries to trick our collective immune system by changing in slightly different ways so that we can’t get rid of it. How else can you explain all the permutations of Real Housewives . The problem is, with each change it become exponentially weaker. The new shows will trick some of us, but not all of us, and the ones that are fooled won’t even like it, they’re just lulled into a safe place by easily recognizable programming. Well, it’s time that we offer the world a great big inoculation against this copy catting run amok. Stop trying to just make a few tweaks and cash in quickly—it never works as well as you think. Instead take some time and try to dream up a whole new strain. It’s certainly harder to come by, but it’s a million times more deadly. [ Image via Bauer-Griffin ]

Continued here:
The Russian Jersey Shore Rip Off Is a Stupid Idea [Reality Check]

Big Love: A Birth and a Death

As the fourth season becomes more overstuffed than a Martha Stewart Thanksgiving turkey, I’m starting to wonder just where all this operatic muck is going to take us. Let’s dispense with the big thing first. At the very end of the episode, we found out that Alby’s conflicted boyfriend Dale had hung himself in the little loveshack apartment Alby had rented for them. He’d been outed to Bill and, I think we’re to assume, his wife by Alby’s horrid spouse, played by the always-excellent Anne Dudek. So that’s horrible. Lots of folks are talking about what a big surprise it was, but I don’t see it that way at all, really. I mean, what were you expecting? That the tortured and illicit gay love between two Mormons on a show that is pretty cruel to all of its characters would end with a happy gone-marryin’ trip to Iowa? Maybe the hanging thing was surprising in its suddenness, but I’m not shocked it ended up there. What Alby does now — to his wife, and possibly to Bill — is what I’m worried about. The rest of episode was creepy and bleak and sad as well. We got a glimpse of a seedy motel where a bunch compounders were gathered for some fabulous sealing ceremonies. Scared young women cowering and crying in hotel rooms while gross old men knitted their doom. The whole Kansas compound folks are appropriately gross and crazy, and it was especially disturbing to see Cara Lynn being stroked by some creeper with six other wives. Luckily Nicki, regressing into a teenagerdom she never had (or something — there was a crazy outfit, that’s all I know) came to the rescue, and wasn’t stopped by an oddly sedate JJ. I assume we’ll get an explanation for all of that, namely why JJ kept saying “It isn’t what it looks like,” and I’m sure his reasons aren’t terribly noble. Oh, and how masterfully creepy was Zeljko Ivanek in the scene where he “seduced” Nicki’s mom? The mumbled song and long underpants and strange blue glow… Ugh, it was all terrifying. And that was a grown woman who’d done all this before. Imagine a thirteen year old in the same situation. Or, you know, don’t, actually. Moving on. The whole Ana plotline I thought was a bit… Well, I just don’t know why they would add yet ANOTHER element to this crazily crowded season. Was Ana ever really that compelling of a character anyway? And now she has to be pregnant with Bill’s premaritally-conceived love child, giving Barb yet another thing to be angry about? Maybe they’re going to hook this story in with another one and by season’s end we’ll say “Ohhhhhh, that’s why,” but right now I’m just not seeing it. They have enough balls up in the air right now. We don’t need another big pregnant one. Perhaps the wackiest of all the wacky stories is Ben’s new-found “independence,” which involves him hanging around with his grandmother and creepy, rabbity grandfather in Mexico. You know, eating authentic Mexican shrimp cocktail in a dusty parking lot. And meeting with fat, gay exotic bird smugglers who want nothing more than to touch Ben’s hair. Oh, and said fat, gay exotic bird smuggler? Well, he just happens to be hooked up with the menacing Green clan, who popped up at the end to take Ben and his grandparents away for messing with their bird trade. The scary cross-dressing wife lady had a Luger! While a bit over-the-top, the complete insanity of Hollis Green and his brood is delightful to watch. Honestly, I don’t find much of the casino/Sissy Spacek stuff terribly engaging. Maybe because I don’t really understand what’s going on. I liked Sissy saying “There’s nothing here to scary anybody” because it was funny and Barb’s monologue about the ocean because it was melancholy, but other than that the most I can glean from the plot is that Sissy is there to help them with, like, Politics… and stuff. What I do know for sure is that Barb is slowly (or not so slowly) becoming the head of the whole gaming operation and designing ice cream bars and self-actualizing and all that, so good for her. Same is going down for Margene, who’s giving lady-positive (but not feminist!) speeches at Toastmasters meetings. Nicki is the only one not branching out, because she doesn’t know how, so I suppose that little outfit (sideways ponytail, raccoony eye makeup, scandalously short skirt) was her sad little attempt at being like the other wives. This season is sort of about woman power, but only sort of. Honestly, I don’t really know just what the heck the major theme is here. Maybe there isn’t one! Maybe there are lots of little ones. Or maybe the theme is that everything is weird and unpredictable and often times more unpleasant than pleasant. Maybe it’s about the cost of secrets, the price we pay to compartmentalize ourselves and segregate certain parts of our heart from others. Naturally Bill’s grand dream, revealed toward the very end, is to come out as polygamists and go live in a laughably big mansion situated on top of a winy hill, all together, finally smooshed into one. There was something a little Norman Bates or Addams Family about the gigantic and strangely wild Victorian, and I kind of doubt that they’ll actually end up moving in there. Would the wives really want to give up their own houses? Increasingly, it seems unlikely. But, yes. Dale is dead. What will this do for all the UEB stuff? How does Alby explain the dead guy in an empty apartment that he’s renting? Is he going to exact revenge on someone or, also possible, everyone ? We shall see! Last night, Wanda said she had “a great foreboding.” Well, so do I. I think this whole season does. Though just what that dark mass looming there on the horizon is exactly, I still don’t know.

Read the original:
Big Love: A Birth and a Death

Dropped Food Flowchart

You dropped food on the floor. Do you eat it? I think bacon always leads to “Eat It” on a flowchart

See the original post:
Dropped Food Flowchart

Pole-Dancing With Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart tried a pole-dancing workout on her show yesterday, and let's be honest: she can move those hips. Above-par dancing and perfect lemon tarts?

Here is the original post:
Pole-Dancing With Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart, Pole Dancing Extraordinaire

Watch out Miley! Martha Stewart is ready to give you a run for your money on the stripper pole.

Here is the original post:
Martha Stewart, Pole Dancing Extraordinaire

Snoop & Martha — All About the Green Brownies

Filed under: Snoop Dogg Take one morning talk show, mix in a dash of weed innuendo, a 4:20 joke and a whole lotta green and whaddya got — Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg high-lariously collaborating on the perfect batch of brownies.What a joint effort! See Also Snoop …

Follow this link:
Snoop & Martha — All About the Green Brownies

Photoshop Of Horrors Hall Of Shame, 2000-2009

Slimmed thighs, whittled waists, smoothed skin: Digitally altered women were de rigueur in the 00s. There were many, many Photoshop Of Horrors images to choose from, but these are the 15 most egregious examples of image retouching in this decade. 15 .

The rest is here:
Photoshop Of Horrors Hall Of Shame, 2000-2009

Fortunate Son — Tom and Gisele Have a Boy

Filed under: Baby Watch She finally popped …

Go here to read the rest:
Fortunate Son — Tom and Gisele Have a Boy

Martha Stewart Brings Rachael Ray Feud to a Simmer

Martha Stewart wants you to know she has no intention of throwing any pies in Rachael Ray’s face.

See more here:
Martha Stewart Brings Rachael Ray Feud to a Simmer