Tag Archives: masturbating

Miley Cyrus Gets a Fooy Massage for the Foot Fetishists of the Day

Miley Cyrus posted her feet to twitter and I wonder how many people have jerked off to it, because you foot fetishists are fucking weird to begin with, coupled with a Miley Cyrus tween fetish, you’ve probably got a real socially awkward weirdo who smells like semen and canned food, with a computer screen tan from never leaving the house, because it gets in the way of his masturbating. You know the kind of weirdo, you’d see on public transit rubbing himself over his pants, because a girl is wearing sandals, because when weird fetishes, like foot fetishes start to materialize, they become consuming and impossible to control. They are the gateway fetish to criminal activity, and I’ll never understand them, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t suck, sniff and ejaculate on Miley’s feet, it just means it’s not my first choice and these pics don’t get me excited, like the do for you…Enjoy freak.

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Miley Cyrus Gets a Fooy Massage for the Foot Fetishists of the Day

Jenna Pietersen Modeling Lingerie of the Day

Jenna Pietersen is apparently some SI model from South Africa….who is not very famous, we’re talking under 3,000 twitter followers, who I may or may not love looking at in lingerie…who I may or may not have emailed asking her to be my girlfriend…without putting any strategy into my seduction process…cuz she’ll likely just think it’s some Nigerian scam or spam and delete my tender, loving, romantic words…..while I could have charmed her like I charm all the other models I have sex with in my life….but her rejection is ok…I can take it…and I deserve it for not playing the situation right….but I think I come out a winenr…cuz I don’t have to take her on a date to see her in lingerie…..she gives that to everyone for free….My kind of girl…which is pretty much why I want to sing her love songs til the end of fucking time…. She’s a Blogger…So If Masturbating to Her Pics Isn’t Enough for you Desensitized Perverts…You can also Masturbate to Her Writing…While I Don’t Masturbate to Her Cuz I Respect her as my Soul Mate FOLLOW THIS LINK

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Jenna Pietersen Modeling Lingerie of the Day

Breaking Dawn TV Trailer: A Pregnant Pause

A new Breaking Dawn television spot has been unveiled. The following trailer features new scenes from the November 18 release, as Bella discovers her shocking pregnancy; Edward reacts with anger (and also does some online searching); Jacob responds with fear and questions; and Bella then gives birth. Yes, it’s the most harrowing scene in the entire Twilight Saga and you can get your first glimpse of it now: Breaking Dawn Preview: A Focus on Pregnancy For many more clips and previews, visit our Breaking Dawn video section . Enjoy!

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Breaking Dawn TV Trailer: A Pregnant Pause

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Returning to Conan!

Conan O’Brien is resurrecting an old standby tonight. For the first time since moving to TBS last year, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog will join O’Brien on stage. Conan tweeted the news via this pic from New York, where he’s broadcasting this week. He’s not looking too pleased about the insults to come: Technically, O’Brien’s content from NBC is property of that network, but the TBS host has already brought the Masturbating Bear back without repercussions. It’s go time for Triumph tonight. This sock puppet pooch drops comedic bombs on foolz like no other, and we can only pity who his victim(s) might be. If you haven’t seen this crass canine in action, you’re in luck. We’ve dug deep and posted Triumph at the premiere of Star Wars: Episode II below … Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Star Wars Premiere

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Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Returning to Conan!

Susann Lucci Old Shitty Fake Tits of the Day

There are so many similarities between pornstars and soap stars…. 1- Bad Acting 2- Bad Plastic Surgery 3- Shitty Storylines 4- Masturbating fans 5- Comes with certain level of shame, soul selling in exchange for a paycheck… enough of this you get what I’m saying….and that’s that I am bad at lists… What I’m trying to say is that Soap Operas are erotica for fat women who don’t work. The women on the shit always look like botox, fake titty, fake tan, fake hair you’d expect to find on sex workers…the storyline is usually garbage, the acting even worse, and the whole thing is to get people to cum….cuz that keeps them coming back…. So seeing Susan Lucci pushing up them titties, is kinda like watching a veteran vagina spread her tired, beat up pussy, for her adoring fans who just can’t let go, to have one more go at themselves while thinking about her…and I figure all post these final moments of Susan Lucci’s sex appeal, cuz modern science and her plastic surgeon, have tried all the tricks to keep her as eternal as the shows she’s been on….shows that I admittedly have tried jerking off to…cuz like I said…I like to pretend I’m a housewife when I role play with myself sometimes…no wait I didn’t say that…oh fuck I just did….I hate when I do that. So embarrassing…

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Susann Lucci Old Shitty Fake Tits of the Day

Amy Fisher is Sex, and Quite Disgusting

Amy Fisher is set to release a sequel to her adult film debut. The title? Amy Fisher is Sex. It’s available for pre-order already. It’s also gross. Deep Inside Amy Fisher , her first masterpiece , was released in October. Now she “performs” with Tommy Gunn, Jack Lawrence, Evan Stone and Johnny Castle in the sequel . Those names sound so fake, don’t they? OLDIE BUT GOODIE : Amy joins our celebrity mug shots gallery. In case you forgot, Fisher was the 17-year-old who shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the wife of her lover, Joey Buttafuoco, in the face. The face . Fisher served seven years in prison for the attack and seemed to be turning her life around at one point. She got married, had children. Then she began appearing on TV, renewed her romance with Joey for reasons unknown, and launched her “career” in adult films. Hot. The plot of Fisher’s new flick? “Building relationships” with co-stars. Yech .

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Amy Fisher is Sex, and Quite Disgusting

Brett Favre Fined $50K, Not Suspended For Jenn Sterger Sexting Scandal

NFL star Brett Favre will be fined $50,000 for allegedly sending former New York Jets employee Jenn Sterger explicit text messages and photos. Favre was NOT suspended for his actions, but the fine basically implies that an NFL investigation verified the rumors going around for months. Basically, Jenn saw pics of Brett Favre’s small junk . Amazing. SHE’S SO FINE : Worth a $50,000 one? Debatable. Jenn Sterger, who has posed for Playboy and Maxim , worked as a sideline personality for the Jets in 2008, Favre’s one season with the team. In addition to firing off photos of his wang, Brett allegedly asked Jenn for a video of her masturbating. Dude is very forward, give him that. Favre admitted leaving her voicemails, but denies sending her explicit pics. The fine was issued because the star was ” deemed uncooperative .” We would deem him a host of other things, too. A suspension wouldn’t have mattered that much anyway, as the beleaguered shot-caller was unlikely to play the Sunday because of injuries. You can listen to Favre’s voicemails, which are only slightly less absurd than these remarks by Tucker Carlson about Michael Vick, right here: Brett Favre Messages to Jenn Sterger

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Brett Favre Fined $50K, Not Suspended For Jenn Sterger Sexting Scandal

THG Asks: Should Rex Ryan Be Disciplined Over His Wife’s Foot Video?

Welcome to THG’s new feature, in which two of our celebrity gossip experts debate topical issues in the entertainment world and you decide who wrote the winning argument! Today, THG Asks : Should Rex Ryan face disciplinary action over his wife’s foot fetish video? YES by Hilton Hater When Rex signed a contract that pays $3 million a year, he did so with the acknowledgment that he was accepting more than just owner Woody Johnson’s money and the task of leading the Jets to their first Super Bowl since 1969. He was also trading in any semblance of a private life. Ryan coaches in new York, the sports equivalent of Beverly Hills when it comes to tabloid coverage. He’s the face of a franchise. He had to have known this embarrassing video would surface. It was his responsibility to do what he could to remove it. Not because I care one iota about what Rex Ryan’s sex life. But because a coach’s job is to motivate, not distract. When Darrelle Revis is answering questions about the pinky toe tickle instead of the zone blitz, something is very wrong. NO by Free Britney

Miley Cyrus — Whipping Herself on Movie Set

Filed under: Miley Cyrus , Willow Smith , Movies Miley Cyrus has developed an addiction on the set of her new movie — she can’t stop singing that damn catchy Willow Smith song about hair whipping!!!! According to our spies on set … Miley has been passing the time between takes on the set of ” So… Read more

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Miley Cyrus — Whipping Herself on Movie Set

Favre Allegedly Asked Sterger for Masturbation Video

Filed under: Brett Favre , TMZ Sports , Celebrity Justice The former NY Jets employee who allegedly received penis photos from Brett Favre also claims she got a text message from the NFL legend … in which he asks her for a video of her masturbating — this according to sources connected to the investigation.… Read more

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Favre Allegedly Asked Sterger for Masturbation Video