Tag Archives: melissa-gorga

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Listening to Dead People

The Real Housewives of New Jersey head to Arizona with their “Spaghetti Western & Meatballs” indulge in not one…but two cleansing rituals. Check out all of the dirt in our THG +/- review. Teresa Guidice is riding high. Everything’s going well. Cook books, Milania Haircare. Criminal charges… oops . She conveniently forgot that one. Minus 15. But you know something’s wrong when your 12 year old has to edit your fashion sense. Shouldn’t it be the mother putting a ban on the skimpy bathing suits, not the other way around? Still, everyone looks fairly happy as they start off to their Arizona retreat, except for birthday girl Melissa Gorga who would have preferred a little quiet time with her hubby. Minus 11 . I doubt Bravo would have picked up the tab for that. After half the cast experiences the plane ride from Hell, they finally all arrive at a gorgeous resort and spa in the desert. Melissa wants to know if it’s OK to touch the cactus. Plus 20. Did anyone else have the urge to tell her to go ahead and try? Chris and Jacqueline get to their room and Chris asks her to try is spicy nuts. No, he’s talking about actual nuts, in a bowl. So much for sexy time. Speaking of sexy time, it looks like Joe Gorga’s not getting any either as Melissa’s got a cold for her birthday trip. He asks, “You want Tarzan?”  Melissa’s response, “No!. Ew. No.” My thoughts exactly. Plus 22. The worst of the bunch is Richie who complains in front of his kids that he’s not getting any sex and then does nothing but bitch about the beautiful resort he’s staying at for free. Minus 30. The guy is more of an ass every week and the tears shed over his dad didn’t save it for me…but we’ll get to that in a minute. An energy healer who speaks to the dead stops in to help this crew cleanse their aura or some such thing. She claims she can hear voices from another dimension from people who are dead…but not dead. Minus 10. What does that even mean? As much as I want to be open minded, I have several issues with this side show. First off, if the dead are speaking to her, why can’t they just tell her their name? What’s with the first initial bs? Then she asks if anyone has a connection to a Mary or Maria. Seriously? It’s an Italian family. What are the odds that at least one of them has a dead relative with one of those names?  Minus 18. And did anyone else get the feeling that the all knowing medium has watched the show before? Despite my belief that this is all a scam, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun. Love Teresa saying, “Even the dead is telling Melissa that I had nothing to do with these rumors.” Tre will take backup from just about anyone and breathing is optional. Plus 25. Even better was Juicy Joe messing with the psychic about relatives who were still alive and then the misunderstanding over the dog? The duck? Was this a joke about them walking into a bar? Honestly, she may have had Richie and Kathy in tears but she could have gotten all of her information off of a quick internet search. Minus 17. I’d rather have spent the night enjoying one of Albert’s steaks. Once the dead are put to rest, the crew heads out on a hike to be one with nature.   And we get yet another classic Teresaism… “Anything to do with the outdoorsy, I’m all for it.”  Plus 10 because everything about Teresa just screams nature lover. Apparently everyone’s auras need more cleansing as they burn their thoughts with sage and let go of negativity, worry, hate, fill in the blank here. Teresa and Jacqueline continue to bond until Teresa mentions that if karma doesn’t come back to you, it comes back to your kids. Huh?  Do you think she was referring to little Nicholas? Jacqueline sure seems to. Overall, Melissa had the right idea. A drink by the pool was the way to go. Episode total = -24!                                            Season total = 446!

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Listening to Dead People

Melissa Gorga on Teresa Giudice: I’ve Got Her Back!

Teresa Giudice may be in serious legal trouble, with 39 counts of financial fraud and a possible 50-year prison sentence hanging over her head. But at least The Real Housewives of New Jersey star can find comfort in an unlike ally: rival sister-in-law Melissa Gorga. The reality star told Andy Cohen last night on Watch What Happens Live that she and Giudice “are in a much better place than we’ve been in a long time.” “I’ve reached out and spoke to Teresa [since the indictment],” Gorga told the host. “She knows I have her back, and that the kids, of course, are the number-one priority, and that’s what [husband] Joe and I are always here for… no matter what.” Giudice fled to Florida over the weekend (as pictured above) and appeared at a red carpet event at Pangea nightclub. She’s next due in court on August 14 – and Gorga says the “key” thing for the family is the bond between her three kids and the four Teresa shares with her husband, Joe Giudice. “That’s the most important part,” Melissa said. “My husband [only] has one sister.” Teresa Giudice Fraud Case Bethenny Frankel on Teresa Giudice

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Melissa Gorga on Teresa Giudice: I’ve Got Her Back!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The Magical Dr. V

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are “On Thin Guid-Ice” as the retreat continues. We recap the drunken hugs and apologies in our THG +/- review. Dr. V score some points as she quickly reduces Joe Gorga and Teresa Guidice to sobbing puddles. Plus 12. That didn’t take long at all. But I wouldn’t expect tearful hugs from everyone. The good doctor marches back downstairs for her next victim and assures them all that she’s not murdering anyone upstairs.  I don’t think some in that crowd would have a problem if she were. Dr. V brings Melissa Gorga in next. Joe claims his wife is easy. Minus 8 for Joe. He obviously misunderstood. We weren’t talking about in the bedroom. Dr. V drags out all their dirty laundry. Melissa feels Teresa doesn’t accept her as Joe’s wife. Teresa feels Melissa rejected her after she married her brother….blah, blah, blah. Minus 14 . We’ve heard all this before. Then Melissa blurts out, “You call my husband a pussy because he’s good to me.” Plus 11. Now we’re getting somewhere. Tre laments that she doesn’t spread rumors about Melissa being a lying, cheating, whore. It’s just out there and people tell her things.  Thankfully Dr. V calls her out on her crap. “If you don’t do anything, you’re a dumb ass.”  Plus 18. If Melissa and Teresa acted like family and were a untied front then none of the garbage people said about either of them would matter. There seems to be a breakthrough although it looks like it’s more on Teresa’s part than Melissa’s as Tre tells her, “Come here, bitch” and she pulls her sister-in-law in for a hug. Then Juicy Joe gets called to the sofa. Did anyone else roll their eyes when Guidice complained he didn’t like when Gorga called Teresa names?  This from the guy who dropped the c-word about his wife. Minus 20. If anyone doesn’t want to be there, it’s Joe Guidice but Dr. V gets him to play along. He even tells his brother-in-law, “Sorry I betrayed you. Get over it.”   In this family, that’s considered progress. Plus 30. With a tentative truce called, Dr. V takes off…and Kathy Wakile’s pissed. Why didn’t she get her turn on the good doc’s couch? Hate to break it to you Kathy but no one here really cares about your issues. Minus 14. Later, the boys and Rosie head out ice fishing while the ladies stay behind to cook. Got to say I’m with Caroline on this one, “I ain’t Jesus. Water ain’t meant to be walked on.” Plus, whenever you put the two Joes together, you never know what could happen. It doesn’t take long for the two to start sniping at one another. Gorga relays his version of the fight, “I’m digging for his balls and I couldn’t find them,” and then “when your dick’s the size of two inches, you get upset.” Umm, is this his usually fight strategy? Plus 22 because the look on the ice fisherman’s face was priceless. The guys were so loud I’m sure they scared all the fish away but at least they made it back to land with all body parts intact. Back at the castle, Teresa and Kathy were making dinner and Melissa was getting soused. Dinner was pretty uneventful unless you count Joe Gorga throwing Melissa over his shoulder as she yelled, “I’m a whore” on the way up the stairs. Plus 12. No one’s arguing that point. A Few Sidenotes: -The 1990s called Joe Gorga. They want their Poison t-shirt back. -Ladies, stop with the evil tweets. If you’ve got something to say, do it face to face. -Why does Richie keep feeling up Rosie? -Speaking of Rosie, is she ever without a Scotch in her hand? But leave it to Juicy Joe to surprise us. He tells Teresa to get over her tiff with Jacqueline and put it behind her. He wants his friendship with Chris back. Aww. Even Caroline gets Tre to promise to try and mend fences with Jacqueline. But how will she pull that off when Jacqueline still considers Teresa an evil witch? We’ll just have to tune in next week to find out. Episode total = +49!                                   Season total = -333!

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The Magical Dr. V

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Riding the Crazy Train

The Real Housewives of New Jersey found Melissa Gorga unknowingly “Drinking With the Enemy”. We recap the liars, cheaters, and so-called friends in our THG +/- review It all starts out innocent enough. Kathy’s cooking in her test kitchen and Rosie’s recounting how she had to pull her cartilage back into place after her meeting with Teresa. Minus 10. Did we really need to hear about that? Then Rosie shares Teresa’s idea of a retreat between the Guidices and Gorgas and invites the others along.   Unsurprisingly there were not a lot of takers. Caroline rolls her eyes and Jacqueline proclaims she won’t join them in the gates of Hell. Plus 23 . I really couldn’t blame her.   But even Jacqueline seemed to have bought a ticket on the crazy train. The way she tore that cell phone out of Kathy’s hand and wouldn’t give it back was surreal. Minus 12. Then she’s screaming over the speaker phone in the middle of a store and wouldn’t stop. As Kathy pointed out, there were “all kinds of crazy on both ends” of that call.  Perhaps Teresa and Jacqueline really should just avoid one another in the future. but what fun would that be? I was wondering why Melissa’s so called friends were giving her such strange looks when she told them about her book deal. minus 22 . Don’t get me wrong. I think writing a book titled “Love Italian Style: Secrets to My Hot and Happy Marriage” is arrogant if nothing else but these are suppose to be her closest friends. Shouldn’t they have at least faked being reasonably happy for her? Apparently Melissa’s friends weren’t all that friendly. Jan, her former bridesmaid was happy to share with Kim D and Teresa that Melissa was supposedly cheating on her hubby. Minus 18 . Melissa and Teresa have some of the sleaziest friends. Put Jan, Kim D., and that scary looking realtor together that’s one creepy looking circle of friends. Or maybe it’s just way too much Botox all in one place. I was kind of surprised that Melissa confronted Kim D but I guess she had her own posse surrounding her at the time. Plus 11. Scarier was the way Jacqueline reacted. She couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Minus 9 . The slide into crazy town continued. However Melissa ended up with some of the best lines of the night, including telling Kim D: “This year I’m a cheater. Last year I’m a stripper. Next year I’m gonna murder all your kids.” and my favorite: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, go jump off the GWB.” (That’s the G eorge W ashington B ridge for those not in the know.) Plus 25. I’m certainly not wishing bodily harm on anyone but if I never had to lay eyes on Kim D again it would still be too soon. On the flip side we got to watch the Gorgas and the Wakiles attempt a sexy strip tease. Minus 15 because doing it with the other couple watching was just plain weird…and Rich really did look like someone shot him in the leg. Caroline appeared to be far away from all the fun. The problem was that even Albert was questioning her motives for staying in Hoboken. Minus 13 . It’s hard to convince anyone she’s not doing it to be closer to her kids. And on a side note…why did the Guidices need to make 800 lbs of sausage. Doesn’t that seem a little excessive? But it looks like the whole gang will be heading to a castle in the mountains next week. Is it a retreat, an intervention, or a ticking time bomb? Tune back in to find out. Episode total = -40!                    Season total = -237!

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Riding the Crazy Train

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Rosie Intervention

The Real Housewives of New Jersey brought us “Everything Is Coming Up Rosie” but is an intervention led by the hot headed cousin really what they need? We recap both the good advice and the asinine in our THG +/- review. Joe Gorga drives home from the gym still muttering curses at Teresa under his breath. I’m not sure what he’s more upset about, being told he’s pussy whipped or finding out that Melissa tweeted something unkind about his sister. Maybe Melissa isn’t the angel he thinks she is.   Melissa’s still working on her book, because who doesn’t need advice on marriage from a Real Housewife? Plus 10 for talking to her family beforehand about putting her father’s philandering past in the book but I wonder if she would have done it anyway even if they objected. Teresa and Joe Giudice head out to watch Milania play soccer and Plus 12 because there is nothing cuter than a little kid soccer game. Of course the other parents can probably do without Joe’s colorful description of sister-in-law Melissa. “She definitely straps one on and sticks it in his ***.”  Minus 20 . You can always count on Joe Giudice to keep it classy, even at a children’s event. I’m not sure what was funnier…or more painful. Watching Teresa hunt and peck on her keyboard trying to write her blog, hearing her husband try and explain to her who Napoleon was, or listening to her rendition of people who live in glass houses should throw stones. In Teresa-speak it comes out, “When you throw dust, dust comes back in. Something about stones.” Plus 30 because without Teresa this show wouldn’t be nearly as comical. And what’s up with the holistic healing and meditation retreat? Who stuck that idea in Teresa’s head? I certainly don’t see her coming up with it on her own but Plus 15 because it’s bound to be either hysterical, an epic failure, or both. The rest of the cast can’t seem to stop talking about Teresa who calls Caroline to let her know about the debacle with Joe at the gym. Caroline decides it’s time to take a step back…which lasts not even five minutes when she blabs all to Kathy and Jacqueline and tries once again to encourage a reconciliation. Minus 13. Jacqueline’s not thrilled and the second Caroline brings up Teresa’s name she huffs, “You killed my boner.” Really Caroline, just leave it alone already. Of course Caroline still has her own grown children to fuss over.   Apparently Lauren’s still keeping CafFace afloat. Plus 11. She’s focusing on her business and not nearly as interested in marrying Vito. Albie and Chris are still excited about their restaurant venture. When momma Caroline pushes the marriage issue, Albie says he’s just got to find a woman who’s willing to never see him because he’ll be working all the time.  Good luck with that. And Chris, oh he’s got some interesting views on starting a family. He says he never wants a girl because from ages 0 to 10 he just needs to “keep the thing alive” and from 10 to 25 he needs to make sure “it’s not a whore.”  That’s just too much pressure for him. Oh, he’s a keeper ladies. Don’t all rush at him at once… Minus 35! But wait, he’s not done. Apparently he also believes that, “Fat girls are blow job queens.” Well, except for his sister. Mom must be so proud. Speaking of men who are idiots, we’ll move on to Kathy and Rich. Rich whose wardrobe is straight out of 1991, is telling Kathy what the packaging of her cannoli should look like. Minus 27 . Kathy’s opinion can’t possibly be right because Rich, “married a housewife, not an entrepreneur.” Can you put husband is a jackass as a reason for divorce proceedings in New Jersey?  As Kathy tries to assert a little independence, Rich puts her down and steamrolls her decisions. He really has little respect for his wife outside of the kitchen. Things aren’t looking good for these two.   Finally we get to Rosie’s intervention. The loud mouthed, hot head decides to intervene with Teresa. First off, Teresa asks for a wine and Rosie brings a drink she’s certain she’ll like more. Isn’t that typical arrogant male behavior? No wonder Rosie hasn’t had sex in six years. Then within five minutes Rosie is screaming and pounding on the table. That didn’t take long. Minus 14. The funny thing is, for a little while Rosie actually makes Teresa look rational. Rosie reminds me of having a conversation with a drunk. They’re fine one minute, the next their screaming, then they’re apologizing before the cycle starts all over again. Just watching is exhausting. But Rosie offers to head to a holistic healing retreat…and suggests inviting the rest of the clan as welll. What could possibly go wrong? Episode total = -31!                Season total = -197!

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Rosie Intervention

Mad Men Season Finale Review: Past vs. Future

A good season finale opens the chest of things you didn’t know you’d been thinking all season. Tonight’s Season 6 finale of Mad Men did just that. While this season seemed as glacial as Matthew Weiner’s storytelling can get, and the finale wasn’t particularly revelatory (though it wasn’t uneventful), it really clued us in to what this season – and in fact, the whole show – is driving at. It’s about past vs. future. The future is volatile. It’s as uncertain as anything can get. Don is so scared of it that fact, he sabotages everything just to maintain some control over it.  And the past, that pesky horrible flicker in the distant background, well it’s equally as disastrous, but in the end it’s just about the only thing we know for certain. Ignoring it only leads to more pain. In Care Of finds Don finally reaching the realization that if he doesn’t learn to restrain his self-destruction, his life will spiral. Don has been turning to drinking – and alone, no less – as a respite from his confused self-hatred. And finally, after ending up in the drunk tank for punching a minister, he decides “enough is enough.” Time to build a future. Of course, Don’s way of building a future is stealing it from someone else. He did it when he became Don Draper, and now he’s doing it with Stan Rizzo. Rizzo volunteers to be put on the Sunkist account in order that he can go to California and start a satellite agency, and when Don realizes he needs a shakeup, he figures that sounds like a good plan. Megan, of course, takes very little convincing. But when Ted tells Don that he wants to go to California himself, in order to escape his love for Peggy and keep his family together, it incites something profound. At first, Don says no. He’s sorry, but the gears are already in motion. Megan is being written off her show, plans are being made. But then, Don has a realization: Ted – this timid, scared man – is in danger of ruining his life. Like Don ruined his. During a pitch meeting with Hershey, Don reveals to the clients, and to his partners, some deeply locked away portions of his childhood that he’d never told anyone. He was raised in a whore house – not by a loving father like the version of himself in his pitch to Hershey – where nobody cared about him. The only sweetness in his life was the Hershey bar he earned from stealing money out of Johns’ wallets. This is not the first time Don has sabotaged a pitch meeting with his wild impulses, but it is the first time that he seems to have had a true catharsis doing it. Until this very moment, all of his erratic behavior has been destructive. It has been a way to influence the future – however negatively. Now, for the first time, he is embracing the past; dealing with his pain; confronting it, publicly. After Hershey leaves, he tells Ted he can have California. After all, Ted is trying to right his wrong. Not that he acted on his feelings for Peggy but that he has them in the first place. That’s a consideration Don never seems to have even realized existed. It’s big. And it hit Don hard. After an entire season of finding Ted to be an annoying pest that he could more or less walk all over, he now sees him as a man at a crossroads, and one that Don himself was on without even knowing it. So Don tells Megan that they’re not going to California after all. And of course Megan, who has always been just a piece of furniture unluckily positioned in Don’s blast radius, is justifiably upset. Final straws are being pulled. And just when Don has taken his first step toward finding himself. Megan leaves in a huff, possibly forever. And the next morning, Don shows up to work to find out he’s been unceremoniously canned. Another final straw has been pulled. So Don, without a wife or a job, has finally shed all the things that comprised his future. He has nothing left to destroy. Nobody to cheat on. No accounts to sabotage. Finally Don can work on his past. Sally, who told her father this season that she realized she knows nothing about him, is about to learn. The final scene of the season finds Don showing his three kids where he grew up. That he’s Dick Whitman. The secret that ruined his marriage with Betty, that threatened his job, that he has done countless horrible things to protect, is no longer a secret. It’s him. OTHER NOTES: It wouldn’t surprise me if Betty comes back into the picture next season. Weiner and his staff are great at making little things that seemed to just be scenery along the road turn out to be clues to major themes and plot details. The fact that Don and Betty had that nice little trip together as a family again, that they slept together again, compounded with Don’s embracing of his troubled past, suggests that him and Betty may get back together. Of course, it could also be a red herring. Poor Rizzo. Even when Don, who stole his idea, gives it away, he doesn’t even give it back to its rightful owner. He gives it to Ted. Peggy said something very poignant at the end of the episode. When Ted tells her she’ll realize he made the right decision, she tells him that it must be nice to be able to make decisions. Peggy has grown so much as a character, it’s tough to see her continue to be thrown around so much. SC&P is an entity without a spine now. Don is the entire reason the merger happened and the new business was created. He’s also the reason Sunkist won out over Ocean Spray. While he agreed to let Draper remain out of the new Name, Don really is the foundation of it. It will be very interesting to see what Don’s embracing of his past holds for his future. While he was told he could come back to work in a few months, that probably isn’t true. And for the sake of compelling storytelling, I hope it isn’t. The future is as uncertain as ever.

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Mad Men Season Finale Review: Past vs. Future

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Angry Italians

The Real Housewives of New Jersey gave us a confrontation between “Gym Rats.” We recap the foul mouthed tirades and insults in THG’s +/- review! Honestly, if you are buying a book from any of the Real Housewives for marriage advice, you should probably just file the divorce papers now. Or admit yourself to the nearest asylum because that’s just crazy. Minus 22 . Still, I’m sure Melissa Gorga ‘s book on having a happy marriage will sell with words of wisdom from husband Joe like, “The sex is important.” Sort of gives credence to Filomena Guidice’s words when she basically says that Melissa dresses like a prostitute. Maybe Joe picks out her clothes. Plus 10 to the publishers…who actually expect Melissa to write a little something before she starts cashing the checks. Right now that bible on marriage is looking more like a pamphlet.   But Minus 18 for pushing her to add stories about her philandering father who was killed in a car accident when she was a teenager. Is it more heart they’re looking for…or more salaciousness? The entire cast of the show swears they’re done with Teresa Guidice but why can’t they stop talking about her. Minus 9. And if Jacqueline is wondering if Teresa’s a sociopath, then what the heck is Rosie? The woman can’t hold a conversation for more than five minutes without screaming and causing a ridiculous scene…even at her niece’s birthday party. One moment Victoria is giving a very sweet speech about sharing her birthday with her father, “the first man I ever loved.”  And plus 15 to her. The girl seems to possess more tact and sense than most of her family. Moments later we hear Rosie spouting, “Take it up the ass, Teresa” and “I’m going to speak my mind. I don’t give a sh*t..”  Minus 30 . I don’t mind her speaking her mind but does she have to sound like a foul mouthed truck driver every time she does it? You can’t blame Teresa for ruining that party. She wasn’t even there. The only people not talking about Teresa seem to be Caroline Manzo’s sons. Chris and Albie have a new venture. Imagine that people didn’t want to drink black water. Go figure. They’re opening their own restaurant in Hoboken called Little Town NJ. They’re following in their father’s footsteps and you now what…best of luck to them. Plus 10. But let’s get back to the gym.  Where does Teresa get that incredibly gaudy work out wear? And you can tell that she’s serious about working out by her long flowing hair and full makeup. If you missed it, yes. I’m being sarcastic. Minus 9. Then T spots her brother across the room and things turn bad quick. Joe reminds Teresa of every horrible thing she’s said about his wife…which she mostly denies.   Then he brings Teresa’s husband into it. At first I wanted to call foul but since Teresa’s always bashing his wife I guess turn around is fair play but when he threw out,  “I respect my wife. I don’t call my wife a c**t” I began to think he’d gone too far.  Minus 13. But it was Teresa who made laugh when she shot back with,  “He didn’t call me that to my face.”   So it’s OK if her husband calls her the C word to other people then. Maybe Melissa should write the down for her book. That’s just … incredibly sad. Minus 35 . I think that water bottle is the first thing Teresa has thrown all season. Plus 12 . It’s good to have things get back to normal. Somehow I don’t see a happy family reunion any time in the near future. EPISODE TOTAL: -89! SEASON TOTAL: – 166!

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Angry Italians

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Keeping It Classy in Jersey

“It’s My Party and I’ll Fight if I Want To” shows that no The Real Housewives of New Jersey birthday party is complete without some drama, even if the party is for a 12 year old. We try and make sense of the lies and catty comments in our THG +/- review. Gia Giudice is turning 12. At 12 I think I had 10 kids at my party. Gia’s parents rented a club for 100 people. Does anyone else get the feeling the girl is already smarter than both of her parents?   Hopefully she doesn’t inherit her mother’s fashion sense. Purple zebra spandex. Minus 8 . Even at the gym that should be unacceptable. With her birthday looming Joe Giudice takes his little girl out for some daddy / daughter time. When he started lecturing the pre-teen on spending more time with her family I wanted groaned. Minus 10 . It’s really no surprise she’d rather spend more time with her friends than her bratty little sisters, especially when Milania’s telling her she’s got “a hairy grill.”  Minus 15. Awkward! There’s a daddy / daughter moment they won’t soon forget. Of course Teresa doesn’t want Gia to talk to boys and plans to take her to the doctor in her teen years to check if she’s still a virgin! Joe’s advice to his daughter is “don’t give boys anything they want” and never kiss them.  I can’t even imagine how warped the kid’s perception of sex is going to be as she grows up. But Teresa’s got other issues. Her Dad is back in the hospital and it’s got the family in turmoil. Apparently Joe Gorga can’t go visit his dad because he’s ill himself. Minus 33. Do we really have to hear about every bowel movement Joe is having? Charming as ever Joe tells his wife and kids, “I had some soup and it came right out of my ass.”  Talk about over sharing. Melissa Gorga’s off at the gym making fun of Kathy who can’t get through her workout routine. Minus 11 . Always nice to look down your nose at your out of shape friends. Melissa says she’s taking Antonia to the hospital to visit her father-in-law. Then she tells Kathy that she has a sore throat and can’t go…but she looked plenty healthy at the gym.  Later she swears to Teresa that she went. Well, which is it? Did she go or didn’t she? Honestly, I’m confused. Minus 18. Teresa jumps all over Melissa at Gia’s party. Can’t these two women just stay away from one another? There were over 100 people there.  Let the kids play and go to your separate corners already. Of course Teresa’s got her minions with her…Linda and Kim D. Can we have Kim D’s plastic surgeon put on a New Jersey’s Worst Doctors list as a public service? The woman is beginning to resemble the walking dead. Neither Kim D or Linda would give Melissa the time of day if the cameras weren’t rolling. They’ll tear into anyone for their 15 minutes of fame, as witnessed when Jacqueline and Kathy were spotted at the gym… Linda – “Jacqueline’s fat ass hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in 8 months.” Kim D – “What about Kathy’s fat ass?” We can always count on you to keep it classy ladies. Minus 25. Kathy’s got more to worry about than her weight. First off, what was that outfit she was wearing in her driveway?  The hat, the vest, the boots.  It was just plain bad. Minus 8. Then she’s got Rosie and Richie and Joey all laughing at her in her own home…and not for her wardrobe. Rosie wants to be the fun aunt. Easy to do when she uses someone else’s Ferrari without their permission. Minus 15. I’ll admit, the evil part of me wished they would have banged up a fender or something.  I’ll bet Rich wouldn’t be smiling and laughing then. Did anyone else laugh along with Jacqueline when Caroline told her Teresa expected an apology. Plus 37 to Jacqueline. She’s got more than enough on her plate. She certainly doesn’t need anybody else’s family drama. And has the Manzo mansion been turned into a petting zoo? Dogs, pigs, snakes in the basement. No wonder Albert is never home. Maybe Caroline needs to deal with her own crazy family and leave the Gorgas and the Giudices alone. Who am I kidding? Like that’s going to happen…. Episode total = -106!                                 Season total = -77!

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Keeping It Classy in Jersey

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Let’s Get Real

The Real Housewives of New Jersey had “A Manzo of Her Word” but it was a little boy who stole the show. We recap the smiles and tears in this week’s THG +/- review. Someone completely stole the show this week and it wasn’t a housewife. It wasn’t even one of their husbands. It was a little boy who learned to say I love you, Mommy . Plus 50 . To be honest at first it appeared that little Nick was only repeating the words to get the lollipop but when Chris Laurita said that it had been over 18 months since his wife had heard those words from her son, I couldn’t help but be moved, no matter what the child’s motivation. Housewives usually doesn’t require its audience to use that part of the brain, nevermind their hearts. It was almost disconcerting. Not to fear. There’s still plenty of the normal nonsense to fill the hour.  Especially when we get to visit with Teresa and her kids. At least they weren’t cursing at one another this week. Plus 18. But can any of them communicate without screaming? Gia seems to think she’s in charge. Milania basically tells everyone else where to get off, and Gabriella looked like she was zoning out as a means of escape. Minus 12. I couldn’t say that I blamed her. Caroline’s daughter, Lauren said that the Guidice kids were being raised by wolves. I think that might be an insult to wolves. They have more sense . Teresa’s still hanging out with Kim D. Minus 22. Why is this woman back on my TV screen? These shows always breed the hangers on, looking for more than their 15 minutes of fame. Caroline called a summit meeting with Teresa and then she ordered an iced tea. You’d think alcohol would be mandatory to get through that meal.   How funny was it when Caroline told Teresa that she was sent by Joe and Teresa shot back with, “He’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel.” Plus 18 . Teresa was right. Caroline is preachy but she’s also right. Life is short. Why let the stupid stuff take over?  Now if she could only use that advice to mend fences with her own sister. And what is up with Fran? She looked like a heavier clone of Dina. And she moved in along with her stray pets. Minus 8 .  Caroline’s husband Albert is a saint. Is there any way they can write Kathy out of the show? She’s generally boring and her husband Rich has become intolerable.  Even Kathy seems to have grown weary of his frat boy antics. When Kathy told her husband that she was trying to raise Joseph to be a gentleman, all i could think was that it would have helped if she’d married one. Plus 13 when she tells her daughter to stick with school so she’ll have better options than Kathy did. Of course if we lost Kathy then we’d also lose Rosie.  Hmm…I’m not sure where that lands in the points system. Did Rosie really have to join in on the guys poker game? Just because she’s a lesbian doesn’t make her one of the boys.  Minus 9. But then we wouldn’t have had Joe Gorga telling Rosie she couldn’t write off all men if she’d never tried one. That earned a serious eye roll but I wouldn’t expect anything less from Joe. Of course he needs to start expecting less. Mush less when it comes to selling his giant McMansion. A 10,000 square foot house on 2 & 1/2 acres. Minus 15 . It sounds like someone was overcompensating. It was funny to watch the faux marble crumble and the fixtures fall off as Joe and Melissa crowed about their masterpiece. And shouldn’t their realtor have told them that having their kids around for the open house doesn’t make it feel more homey…it reminds people that it’s your home. Minus 10. But I think I’ll keep my $3.8 million in the bank and out of the Jersey real estate market, at least until next week. Episode total =  +11!               Season total = +29!

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Let’s Get Real

Tabloid: Melissa Gorga Cheated on Husband!!!

The latest issue of Life & Style makes it as clear as can be: Melissa Gorga cheated on her husband, Joe. According to the tabloid, Real Housewives of New Jersey viewers will find out this season that Gorga engaged in an affair with Brian “Bulldog” Bowen, an ex-boyfriend who will actually appear on upcoming episodes. “Bulldog claims to have a lot of dirt on Melissa , and some of it is already coming out,” an insider says. “And the next season hasn’t even started airing yet.” Another source, meanwhile, says Teresa Giudice and cast mates shared a meal on January 31 and “they were all talking about how she had an extramarital affair.” We mean… if that’s not proof, you tell us what is! A friend of Gorga’s however, acknowledges that she dated Bulldog – but never during her marriage to Joe. “This is only making Joe and me stronger,” Gorga tells Life & Style . “I can’t even begin to keep track of all the lies. Everyone is coming for their 15 minutes of fame.”

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Tabloid: Melissa Gorga Cheated on Husband!!!