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Even though she’s now stuck wearing a SCRAM bracelet , Lindsay Lohan doesn’t believe she’s in need of rehab. Incredibly, this is only the second most ridiculous thing we’ve heard a D-list celebrity utter this week! In an interview with Life & Style , Scott Disick refers to himself as a “role model” and adds that he’s the epitome of the American Dream. As we try to stifle laughter over these comments, check out Disick’s comments for yourself: On his reputation as a jerk : I don’t mind being portrayed as the villain on TV, but nobody knows the real me. I’m a great guy. All the haters are just jealous, so they’re trying to bring me down. I’m young, handsome, successful, wealthy. You could say I’m a role model — I’m the American dream! On sort of being a douche : I may be a douche to some people, but I actually do run companies. I make a lot of money, and I’m more than capable of supporting myself. I run multiple companies in the vitamin world: QuickTrim, Rejuvacare, Monte Carlo Perpetual Tan. On being a father : Having a baby has made me a completely different person. It’s opened my eyes to the sense that there’s something out there bigger than myself. That’s why every day since Mason’s birth I’ve worked on bettering myself. Still, Disick has a long way to go until he reaches the levels of success that baby mama Kourtney Kardashian and quasi sister-in-law Kim Kardashian have attained. At a Svedka Vodka party this weekend, these two did what they do best: Stand on a red carpet and pocket thousands of dollars. To wit…

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Scott Disick: I’m a Role Model!