Looks like there may be a few bugs in the newest version of the iOS. People have complained that Siri rarely does what you actually want and that she can have a difficult time with nuances of different languages. We had no idea Siri was a closet racist, however, until just now. In a parody from Funny or Die, the virtual iPhone assistant offers advice to an African-American gentleman based solely on racial stereotypes. Racist Siri This is the second funniest spoof on the iPhone after last winter’s nuclear marital Siri argument . When in doubt … call your parole officer. Other than that … swag, swag, swag, swag, swag.
Octomom’s first day as a porn star is in the books. The beleaguered, bankrupt mom of 14 completed her first day of XXX shooting at a porn mansion in L.A.’s San Fernando Valley Thursday, and it went well! Octo (real name Nadya Suleman) is starring in a new film in which she will be pleasuring herself … since she refuses to do porn involving other human beings. She was nervous at first, but got the hang of it. Before the shoot, producers decided it would be a good idea to screen some porno flicks for the clearly nervous Nadya as an educational tool of sorts. When it was time for Octomom to get down to business, TMZ reports that she was a pro . A source even said, “She was a natural. She looked great!!” Yay! No word on how much she’s making for the masturbation movie, but she may need to film a bunch of sequels to pay off at least $500,000 in debt . [Photo: WENN.com]
Nadya Suleman, a.k.a. Octomom, says her financial woes are so far beyond terrible, she owes between $500,000-1,000,000 to various creditors. Octomom filed for bankruptcy yesterday, claiming she has $0-50,000 to her name. Combined with 14 mouths to feed, that’s what we call bad. Fortunately, she gets all the premium channels though. Game of Thrones is not to be missed, even if your kids can’t go to the bathroom indoors. A list of creditors lining up to get paid by Octo include: Orkin Pest Control Roberto Robles Gardening Services William F. Turner Attorney at Law The California DMV Farmers Insurance Verizon City of La Habra Water Dept. So Cal Gas Company So Cal Edison Company Superior Court of California DirecTV Nadya Suleman claims she has already completed a debt education course, as required from every individual who files for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Not that it’ll do her a lot of good until she has money coming in (just wait for her erotic solo effort ), but Octomom says she took that class online. Presumably before Verizon turned off her service.
Nadya Suleman is officially insolvent. Like for real broke. Octomom filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy today in federal court, just one month after going on welfare. Apparently public assistance didn’t go far enough. The bankruptcy filing confirms what we pretty much already knew – that the mom of 14 is carrying a mountain of debt she has no hope of paying off. Chapter 7 is the most serious form of bankruptcy , so although it isn’t specified in public records how much Octomom owes and to whom … it’s clearly a lot. And she’s flat broke. Her house, which was in such horrendous condition last week that police investigated her for child endangerment, will be auctioned off . Suleman has struggled with her finances for years, which isn’t a big shock if you do the quick math: 14 kids + 0 jobs + 0 partner = deep financial crap. It’s all very sad, and begs the question … Should her kids be taken away?
Elise Testone didn’t see it coming. The 28-year old crooner told reporters, soon after her elimination from American Idol last night, that she felt “completely successful… in every aspect” with her rendition of Jimi Hendrix’s ” Bold as Love ” and was surprised when she heard her name called by Ryan Seacrest. Still: “I accepted what happened to me as soon as it happened,” she said. “I just thought, ‘What’s next? What am I going to do now?’” Elise Testone – “I Want It All But while Testone looks to the future, she does have something to say about the past; namely, the judges’ critiques. “Some things [the judges] say don’t line up with what I feel I’ve learned on my own,” Testone said. “I don’t always feel like [their feedback] was helpful. I’m not saying I’m the best. I don’t think for the most part it always made sense.” Fair enough. And what does she have planned next? “I’m going to reach out to everyone. [Queen’s] Brian May and I are pretty much best friends now, so we’re going to hang out. Ellen [DeGeneres], we’re pretty much homegirls. I haven’t met her yet, but she tweeted me and said she loves me.” What do you think, Idol viewers? Do you agree with Elise’s ousting?
WARNING: Adult content ahead… Brian McKnight appears to have a major hit on his hands, but it’s not one you’ll be hearing on any Top 40 countdown any time soon. The singer released a YouTube video this week of himself inside a studio, recording a track titled “If You’re Ready to Learn” that includes the lyric: “Let me show you how your pussy works.” You really need to listen to it for yourself: Brian McKnight – Let Me Show You How Your Pussy Works Since going viral, the song has attracted the attention of many adult film company, and McKnight has been invited to perform it live at the AVN Awards, commonly referred to as the Oscars of Porn. “I don’t know what specifically I will do with this track in the future,” McKnight told TMZ. “And I don’t see myself ever performing it live, but I am flattered that people have embraced it and are having as much fun with it as I am.” Look for “If You’re Ready to Learn” to be available on iTunes next week.
Karla Vanessa Perez, a Mexican woman already nicknamed NuevaMom by TMZ and other celebrity gossip sites, is reportedly pregnant with nine kids! NINE! That puts Octomom to shame! Or at least beats her by one embryo. Perez is a month away from giving birth to six girls and three boys . Like Nadya Suleman, fertility treatments led to her record-breaking multiple pregnancy. This is not Perez. It’s Octomom photoshopped in front of a Mexican flag . Perez confirmed the news to Mexico’s Notimex news agency, saying, “It’s very early to think of names for the babies … first I hope that everything goes well.” We hope so too … during the pregnancy and afterward. In Octomom’s case, it has not, judging by the fact that she’s now on welfare and may lose her kids . No word yet if NuevaMom is also unmarried, with six offspring already, financially insolvent to the point where her kids have to poop outside, and/or insane.
Octomom’s 14 children will not be taken away from her because she is a fine mother and doing an exemplary job … according to Nadya Suleman herself. The Orange County Department of Children and Family Services came to her house on Thursday to investigate claims of her children living in putrid squalor. According to Octo, they gave her a “clean bill of health.” Three DCFS workers showed up at Nadya Suleman’s Orange County home, and she says they gave her a rave review … despite the shocking living conditions . Octo told TMZ, “[DCFS] said it’s a very suitable environment for these children.” Even crazier, Octo claims DCFS workers were actually impressed with her parenting skills, saying “They can’t even believe that I can do what I’ve been doing.” You know, we could say the same, though in an entirely different context. Is this woman delusional? They couldn’t possibly have said that, right? Octomom did have a four-person cleaning crew show up prior to DCFS’ arrival, so it’s likely the place was not as bad as when her hairstylist blew the whistle. Still, it’s gotta be a madhouse, and she has no way of supporting a family that size. It’s well established. So should Octomom’s kids be taken away ? [Photo: WENN.com]
Brazilian Blowout, the company behind the hairstyling Octomom recently spent hundreds of dollars on while on welfare, is apparently as mortified by her antics as everyone else, and offering to make it right with free blowouts from now on. The company wants to reimburse Nadya Suleman the entire cost of her recent blowouts – plus other hair treatments – that she spent $520 on. While under investigation by DCFS for horrific living conditions, natch. Such reckless spending and inability to earn enough money to take care of her offspring has some wondering if Octomom should lose her kids . With that in mind, Brazilian Blowout wants to help a girl out. CEO Mike Brady says, “We want to make sure California taxpayers’ money is not going to anything other than taking care of [Nadya Suleman’s] kids. We don’t want to see those children miss out on anything at the cost of a Brazilian Blowout .” BB also wants to give Octomom free blowouts and cover the cost of a sitter while the mother of 14 is gets primped. They feel so bad about taking her money, they’re even offering to fix her toilet, which might allow her kids to drop a D inside. The stuff of dreams, right there. Should Octo lose her kids?
Nadya “Octomom” Suleman said she’s “ashamed” of going on welfare to take care of her 14 children, but she will still never stoop so low as to do porn. “I still am working as hard as I possibly can to support them,’’ Suleman told Today’s Matt Lauer, adding that she made the welfare decision “reluctantly.” Suleman said she was not just humbled, but afraid to take public assistance, as she’s received death threats for receiving the aid (up to $2,000 a month). Nadya Suleman on Today “I feel ashamed, but who cares how I feel? It’s 100 percent about my children,” she asked and answered, saying she hopes to be off public assistance soon. “They deserve everything, they deserve the best.” Including dignity. That’s why, even though we’ve already seen Octomom nude , Suleman will NEVER do full-on porn, even if the offer was $100 million. “I won’t touch other human flesh,’’ Suleman said. “The only flesh I’m touching is my own.” Interestingly, this was also true of her children’s conception. She got pregnant with all 14 of them through IVF! Anyway, she adds, “I would never, never accept anything. I will not lose my grip of my deeply indoctrinated morals and values. Every choice we as parents make is going to significantly affect our children for the rest of our lives.” “I have to be the ultimate positive role model.’’ Asked if she’s concerned public officials will try to take her children from her, Suleman said, “That will never happen and I can guarantee you on that.” “Hundreds of people, random people, call [social services] on a daily basis, and it’s sick. [It’s] unbelievably fascinating in regard to humanity how many people are foaming at the mouth for my children to be taken away from me.” “The saddest part is 15 years from now, when they’re 18 and legal and in college, people will still be foaming at their mouth for them to be taken.’’ Hopefully in 15 years, we’ll have moved on … or she’ll have at least gotten off welfare and given people no reason to care. Pipe dreams …
