Actress, former Italian princess by marriage, truthsayer: Olivia Wilde dropped TMI last night in a monologue about her “marathon” sex sessions with boyfriend Jason Sudeikis and how to tell when your vagina’s not that into a relationship anymore. “Sometimes your vagina dies… then you know it’s time to go.” Preach . Vulture was on the scene at Joe’s Pub in New York, where Wilde’s monologue was part of a series hosted by Glamour. But who knows what the other speakers talked about in their pieces because OLIVIA WILDE OVERSHARED ABOUT HER VAGINA. “I felt like my vagina died,” she said of her eight-year marriage to an Italian prince. “Turned off. Lights out…and you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina.” Above: Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde, marathon runners It turns out Wilde, who was not only married to a freaking Italian prince but is gorgeous and talented and a smarty-pants who was babysat by Christopher Hitchens as a child, IS just like us: Terrified of the ol’ monogamy sex slump. Her cheeky solution to those relationship rough patches: Olivia Land (via Vulture ): In Olivia Land, relationships can legally only last seven years, without an option to renew. That way it never goes stale. Can you imagine, if we only had seven years? We’d be so nice to each other, so kind, and appreciative and enthusiastic, like we were eating a really expensive bowl of pasta! And in Olivia Land people wouldn’t cheat nearly as much because there wouldn’t be the threat of spending forever with one bedfellow. It just wouldn’t be legal. There’s the issue of kids. Okay this is fun. In Olivia Land, all the kids go to boarding school at seven. It’s like in Harry Potter! I would like to legalize prostitution. Hiring a sex worker in Olivia Land would be as easy, hygienic, and inexpensive as getting a pedicure. That way when away on business or just not in the mood, we could just hire a hooker for our loved one and keep them uninterested in cheating and keep them satisfied. These particular hookers would obviously have to be mute and possibly cross-eyed. In Olivia Land, the streets are paved with dark chocolate, and all the people are free of body hair and menstrual cramps.” Above: Olivia Wilde talkin’ ’bout some sex Seriously though, kudos to Wilde for having the balls to come out as a public figure to drop truth bombs like this: “[Men] are not allowed to be the only ones thinking with their genitals. We think with our pussies.” Between Olivia Wilde and Australian PM Julia Gillard , Tuesday’s been a great news day for womenkind. Your move, Wednesday.
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Olivia Wilde Monologues About Sudeikis Sex And That One Time Her Vagina ‘Died’
