Chrissy Teigen is some ethnic busty model from SI who I consider part of the stepfather family. Not because I am black or asian and not because I am her husband, John Legend’s long lost relative from the same orphanage or wherever he learned to play piano before landing a gold digging modeling wife. Not that she’s necessarily a gold digger, I don’t know her personal finances, maybe she’s just a fame whore and likes the celebrity connection, because I am sure she could be fucking far richer people than him. Whatever her deal is, she’s definitely not fucking the poor dude in the studio apartment down the street because girls are all the fucking same and always choose the good life. I consider her part of the stepfather family, because she tweeted me once, probably something rude, I don’t remember, but it turns out it’s just that easy to get with me people. I’m such a slut. Here’s the video….
A North Korean terrorist may be responsible for taking the president hostage, but it’s Bulgarian-made CGI that does the most damage in Antoine Fuqua’s intense, ugly, White-House-under-siege actioner Olympus Has Fallen . Cut past the pic’s superficial patriotism, and the message is ironically clear: Never outsource your visual effects when a domestic shop will do. Courageously representing the human element in this mostly digital assault on American soil, Gerard Butler holds his own as a one-man-army. Millennium was wise to push this grim act-of-war movie out three months ahead of Columbia’s like-minded White House Down . In June, auds will see how Roland Emmerich , whose Independence Day gleefully made things go boom at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., handles the task today. For the moment, the post-9/11 memory of real attacks on American targets still hits a bit too close to home. And though Hollywood’s jaunty disaster-movie days may have passed, this lower-budget entry comes with the satisfaction of evening the score before end credits roll. Olympus Has Fallen helmer Fuqua, who’s known for bringing an unflinching toughness to inner cities ( Training Day ) and ancient history ( King Arthur ), sticks to the Die Hard model here, minus most of the tossed-off one-liners. In ex-Special Forces pro Mike Banning, Butler presents a gritty but humorless hero who cusses, bleeds and occasionally pauses to remove shards of glass from his wounds. To raise the personal stakes, Creighton Rothenberger’s script opens with a prologue in which Banning saves the life of President Benjamin Asher ( Aaron Eckhart , who looks the part of a Wall St.-friendly commander in chief), but fails to protect the First Lady ( Ashley Judd ) — a tragedy that leaves the redemption-seeking secret service agent reassigned to desk duty. Banning’s chance to square the books with Asher arrives when heavily armed guerillas swarm the White House, led by the undercover Kang ( Die Another Day ’s Rick Yune). While a massive CG warplane flies low over D.C., gunning down pedestrians and blasting the top off the Washington Monument, turncoat Forbes ( Dylan McDermott ) helps Kang and his men take the president and his top staffers (including Melissa Leo’s unyielding Secretary of Defense) captive in the White House’s underground safe room. Hokey glimpses of tourists attempting to outrun blocks of falling granite make the lo-fi effects of an earlier era look realistic by comparison. As pedestrians run for cover or die in the crossfire, Banning makes his way into the fray, searching for the president’s missing son (Finley Jacobson) before worrying about the kidnapped world leaders. With Asher incapacitated and his veep brutally executed before the eyes of the military’s top brass, the shot-calling role falls to the Speaker of the House, played by Morgan Freeman , an actor with experience at holding the reins of power, having occupied the Oval Office in Deep Impact . Freeman demonstrates due gravitas, steeling his nerves with a strong cup of coffee while the small army of character actors around him hang their heads in desperation. Fuqua’s widescreen approach — which offers ample room for all that vidgame-quality CG — relishes such cornball iconography, featuring shots of the American flag pierced with bullets, or tumbling slowly to the ground against a flame-red sunset, while Trevor Morris’ drum-corps score keeps things sounding duly martial. Banning earns well-deserved cheers for using a heavy bust of Lincoln’s head to bust in a baddie’s noggin. Though not as exciting as the White House-storming seventh season of 24 , the high-concept project alternates between brawny action movie and crudely considered “what if” scenario. Despite the pic’s one-on-many focus, Fuqua approaches it as a full-blown war movie, incorporating the military’s latest toys into large-scale shootouts between squads of anonymous opponents. Sadly, those crude Bulgarian-rendered effects aren’t much more convincing than the recent White-House-in-the-crosshairs propaganda videos pouring out of North Korea. Butler brings things back to a more practical level, as his butt-kicking hero shoots, stabs and punches his way through to the commander-in-distress, only to face off against a foreign-rigged computer program in the final scene. Figures. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
The disappearance of a pregnant preteen exposes the raw wounds at the heart of an isolated southern New Zealand community in the absorbing and richly atmospheric Top of the Lake . Centered around Elisabeth Moss’ excellent performance as a detective for whom the case uncovers disturbing echoes of her own troubled history, this multistranded crime saga from writer-director Jane Campion and co-creator Gerard Lee is satisfyingly novelistic in scope and dense in detail. Yet it also boasts something more, a singular and provocative strangeness that lingers like a chill after the questions of who-dun-what have been laid to rest. Prestigious berths in Park City and Berlin will precede a distinguished smallscreen life for the Sundance Channel miniseries, which begins airing March 18. The six-hour, seven-part production (reviewed from a six-episode version prior to its festival bows) should prove an enticing proposition for fans of investigative dramas in the vein of Twin Peaks and The Killing , even though the yarn’s less procedural-oriented nature and primary focus on a rape case provide early clues that Campion and Co. are treading different thematic territory here. But by far the material’s most distinctive element is its setting, a wooded region of stunning natural beauty and surpassing human ugliness that lends a uniquely bleak and bitter tang to this well-worn genre format. Sharing helming duties with Aussie newcomer Garth Davis, Campion has delivered her first work set and shot in her native New Zealand since The Piano 20 years ago. Fittingly, it marks a reunion of sorts with that film’s star, Holly Hunte r, cast here as GJ, an enigmatic, silver-haired guru who has come to the town of Laketop to open a camp for abused and/or abandoned women. Unfortunately, the camp has been built on a piece of land — the ironically named Paradise — that has long been eyed by local drug lord Matt Mitcham (a superb Peter Mullan), who seems to own everyone and everything in town. Mitcham also seems to have fathered half the local population; the youngest of his offspring is 12-year-old Tui (Jacqueline Joe), his daughter by his third (ex-)wife, a Thai immigrant. One frigid morning, Tui is seen wandering into the titular lake, as though in a trance; a subsequent medical examination reveals she’s five months pregnant, though she won’t disclose who the father is. The determined but relatively inexperienced Det. Robin Griffin (Moss) is called in to lead the statutory-rape investigation, although she soon finds herself looking into a possible kidnapping-murder scenario when Tui suddenly goes missing. Over the course of the six-hour running time, the story abounds in the requisite twists and complications: The lake coughs up the body of a local businessman, while suspicion falls on a hermit who turns out to be a convicted sex offender. But these developments are doled out at a measured clip, and the filmmakers seem less interested in sustaining forward momentum than in painting a vivid panorama of this broken community, a town cloaked in a dark and vaguely incestuous malaise. From the hooligans (Jay Ryan, Kip Chapman) who carry out Mitcham’s bidding to the sad-sack women who gather at GJ’s camp, there’s a pervasive sense of human lives either wasted or forced into familiar and depressing patterns. The wildness of the surroundings informs the wildness of the characters: Parents and children are forever at odds, and acts of violence and violation are distressingly commonplace, to the point where even Mitcham reacts to the news of Tui’s ordeal not with outrage, but with a cynical roll of the eye (“She’s a slut, like her dad was a slut!”). Despite its narrative breadth, Top of the Lake is first and foremost Robin’s story. As the detective rekindles a romance with another Mitcham son (Thomas M. Wright) while flirting erratically with her superior officer (David Wenham), she finds her personal life bumping up against her investigation to a near-ludicrous degree. Much of the third hour is devoted to exploring Robin’s past traumas as a teenager, and while the idea that she sees a younger version of herself in Tui represents perhaps the tale’s most conventional conceit, it supplies a potent emotional fulcrum that pushes the drama into its moving, startling if not always plausible final hours. Moss, a long way from Mad Men , brings a gripping combination of pluck, vulnerability and intense anger to the complicated role of a woman who fights for every inch of ground and at one point drives a broken bottle into a man’s chest. Campion’s films have long gone against the grain with their strong, embattled distaff protagonists and daring portrayals of female sexuality, and if Top of the Lake isn’t in quite the same neighborhood as In the Cut , it nonetheless calls on Moss and others to bare themselves physically and emotionally in a story located at the juncture of sex and violence. The other commanding turn here comes from Mullan, playing the unkempt Mitcham as a rough-mannered scoundrel who is not without a certain gruff, randy charm. Other bright spots in the excellent ensemble include Robyn Nevin, tough and sensible as Robin’s cancer-stricken mother; Joe, who invests Tui with a fiery refusal to be victimized; and Hunter, making the most of dialogue that basically consists of a string of gnomic pronouncements. Adam Arkapaw’s lensing of this unspoiled and unruly landscape is one of the production’s chief pleasures, and composer Mark Bradshaw supports the action with a melancholy score that sounds entirely endemic to the setting. Editor’s Note: Top of the Lake begins airing on the Sundance Channel, Monday, March 18. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
Dear Bossip , Hello I’m dating a 44-year old man. Mind you I am only 20-years old. He is always talking about how he wants another child by next year. He’s also always talking about how he wants to get a house together, and what bills we would split or what bills I would pay and how we could afford a house with both of our incomes, and how we can get into car payments. Every time I talk about settling down he says it’s too soon and he wants to get a house first. I told him that I want to settle down then have another child within 3 years and get married, and then go back to school. I let him know I was not trying to rush anything but I’m not going to waste my time playing games and if he does not see me as someone serious to let me know so we can go our own ways. He is very good with my daughter even though she is not his. He’s also met my mom. I haven’t met anyone in his family. I told him I had an issue with a girl who he does not share kids with but at some point wanted to settle down with her. And she is calling, texting, and even Facebooking him. They live in different states but I don’t like the fact that she contacts him. He says I have nothing to worry about and that they are just friends. But, I’m not sure. He hasn’t told her that he and I are dating. He hasn’t even told his kids. I haven’t met his boss or any co-workers, or friends. I ask why he says he likes to keep his personal life private. How do I know if he wants to be with me or settle down with me? The other day he told me that I made his phone bill go higher than usual. He said I need to stop calling and texting so much. So, I told him okay, I will work on it for you. We both have the same phone company. I tell him to be honest and straight up with me. Please help me! – Dating An Older Man Dear Ms. Dating An Older Man , Throws hands in the air! WHHHHHHHYYYYY!!!!!??????!!!! Is this how they are living life in 2013? Is this what life is about in the hood these days? Twenty year old girls are giving themselves to men over forty. What life is this about? Is this about that senior citizen life? Chile, clue me in! LOL! Little girl, why are you not in school? Why are you not pursuing some profession or a career? Why are you dating a man who is more than half your age? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I can’t even do this today. You truly have an issue with self-esteem, self-worth, and daddy issues. This is truly sad and unfortunate. I can’t understand why you would think you have something in common with a 44-year old man. What do you talk about? What life skills, issues, or lessons can you discuss? Plain and simple, this man is a predator and is preying on you and naivety. He is just using you for sex, and nothing more. This man needs to be castrated for preying on young girls, because I’m certain you’re not the first or last young girl he has, or will do this to. Let’s be real here: He is not going to purchase a house with you. He is not going to marry you. He is not serious about you. Why is he discussing splitting bills with you, and getting a car with payments? Chile, puhlease! What house can you two afford with both of your incomes? Please tell me what house is this. What income do you have at 20-years old that you are bringing in that you feel you can purchase a home? Chile, open your eyes and see that you’re just a young girl whom he is taking advantage of. He’s filling your head and telling you things you want to hear. IT’S ALL A LIE!!! The sad part is that you’ve made all these connections, yet, you’re unable to put the clues together. Let’s play Blues Clues. Let’s see if Dora the Explorer can figure this out. You ready? Okay, chile, you’ve never met his family. You don’t know where he works, or met any of his co-workers. You’ve never met any of his friends. His own kids don’t know about you. And, the woman he’s texting, calling, and spending Facebook time with doesn’t even know about you. Now, that fact that you’ve pointed all of this out, then what does that tell you? Come on, Lil Keisha, you can figure it out. A man who is this private, and keeping you a secret, well, you’re not even a secret. You don’t even exist. No one knows you are a part of his life. Now, put the clues together, and what do you get? You can do it! You can do it! Let’s move on. I want you to tell me what do you think is the reasoning behind him not telling ANYONE about you? Oh yeah, it’s because you’re not dating. You’re not in a relationship. You’re not his woman. He’s not your man. He is just playing you. Lying to you. Deceiving you. And, you allow yourself to be lied to, played, and deceived. What are you lacking in your life that you need a 44-year old man in your life? Is it because you have no father-figure in your life, thus, you’re looking for daddy, and this man is a substitute for the father you want in your life? Boo, you are out of your lane and league. This man has truly done a job on you. He’s playing into your youngness and age, and you’re not even smart enough to get hip to his game. Girl, stop letting this man in your life. Get rid of him, and his lies. That predator is fulfilling some fantasy and unless your name is Tinkerbell, then burst his fantasy bubble and kick his a** to the curb. Get yourself into someone’s school. Work on getting into a profession or career, and leave your granddaddy alone. It’s time that you recognize that when a man keeps you a secret it’s because you’re not someone whom he sees as important in his life. So, if you haven’t met his mother, family members, other kids, friends, co-workers, and other significant people in his life, then you are a non-motherf*****g factor! Stop allowing him full access to your life. He’s not worth your time, space, or energy. And, until you recognize this, you’ll always be hidden from his life. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Emma Stone is not one to Tweet or talk about her personal life very often. So it’s hard to blame the Internet for getting worked up upon viewing a mysterious message from the actress over the weekend, as she wrote the following yesterday afternoon: nawder and islasehnce tsinggi ni a erte. The Tweet has since been deleted, but Perez Hilton was somehow able to decipher it as an anagram that spelled out: “Andrew and Shailene sitting in a tree.” Andrew Garfield is Stone’s boyfriend. Shailene Woodley is his costar in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 . Hmmm…. Stone and Garfield were spotted in New York City over the weekend, looking as cozy as ever. So there may very well be nothing to this rumor. But we’ll keep readers apprised if anything changes.
If threesomes with two girls and a guy are your thing (or perhaps your personal naughty sexual fantasy) then you are going to love this video clip of Kenya Moore Continue reading →
Suge Knight is a wanted man. It’s not the first time. Not one but TWO warrants have been issued for the former Death Row CEO’s arrest following a pair of alleged incidents in which he drove with no license. Knight was supposed to be in court last Thursday to answer charges pertaining to those cases, one stemming from 2011 and the other from 2012. But of course, ol’ Sugar Bear failed to show up. Especially when one is already on three years unsupervised probation for one of the incidents, bailing on a court date is typically not looked highly upon. The judge in the case immediately issued two bench warrants , meaning any law enforcement official is officially on notice to arrest Suge Knight on sight. Amazing that of all things, Knight is wanted by authorities for something as mundane as a driver’s license invalidation, but that’s where things stand. No word if he was with Katt Williams when he flaked.
MC Hammer was arrested Thursday for obstructing a police officer – and launched into a series of Tweets denying wrongdoing and alleging profiling. First, the officer’s side of the story: Law enforcement officials in Dublin, Calif., said Hammer was in a vehicle with an expired registration and he was not the registered owner. “After asking Hammer who the registered owner was he became very argumentative and refused to answer,” police spokesman Herb Walters told CNN. Hammer, 50, was then arrested on suspicion of resisting an officer and obstructing an officer in the performance of his duties, according to Walters. The incident occurred at the Hacienda Crossings shopping center, but the ’90s rap and dance icon tells a very different version of what went down. Alleging profiling, Hammer claims he was asked whether he was on parole or probation before the police officer tried to pull him out of his vehicle. Hammer Tweeted, “chubby elvis looking dude was tapping on my car window, I rolled down the window and he said ‘Are you on parole or probation?'” “While I was handing him my ID he reached in my car and tried to pull me out the car but forgot he was on a steady donut diet,” he continued. The rapper later said that the “only thing more dangerous than a scared man with a gun, is a scared man with an agenda, a gun and a badge.” “It was comical to me until he pulled out his guns, blew his whistle and yelled for help (MallCop) !!! But make no mistake he’s dangerous.” Hammer was booked and released on bail from Santa Rita Jail; a court date is next month, and police have until that time to decide on any charges. No drugs or alcohol were suspected in the incident, which Hammer (real name Stanley Kirk Burrell) is still livid over, Tweeting yesterday afternoon: “I will now answer his question, contrary to his personal beliefs, all people of color are not on parole or probation fat boy!!!,” he wrote of his “eye opener.” Hammer has been enjoying a career resurgence after taking the stage with “Gangnam Style” performer PSY on several occasions last year. PSY ft. MC Hammer – Gangnam Style (American Music Awards 2012) PSY New Year’s Eve Performance Ft. Hammer – Gangnam Style
So the Spring Breakers tour made it to Germany, and it looks like it was Selena Gomez ‘s turn to bring the cleavage. I’m telling you, breaking up with that teenage girl she was dating was the best thing that ever happened to Selena — or to us. Anyway, the way this is going, I can’t wait to see what happens when it’s Vanessa Hudgens ‘ turn. Here’s hoping she breaks out her birthday suit. » view all 37 photos Related Articles: Selena Gomez’s Cuteness Gets Molested Selena Gomez Gets Her Cute On Selena Gomez Is A Nice Young Lady Selena Gomez Is A Sexy Babysitter Photos: WENN.com
The Spring Breakers girls weren’t the only ones to bring some hotness to the German red carpet — one of my favorite models Micaela Schaefer also showed up. This outfit isn’t nearly as revealing as the ones we’ve seen her wear to red carpets in the past (like my personal favorite ). But with a hint of boob and some awesome leg action, it’ll definitely do. Still, this could’ve become an all-time great with the help of a pair of scissors and only three snips. » view all 22 photos Related Articles: Micaela Schaefer & Gina Lisa Lohfink Hotness Micaela Schaefer’s Awesome Tight Bikini Body Lisa Lohfink & Micaela Schaefer In Sexy Lingerie Micaela Schaefer Public Bikini Goodness Photos: WENN.com
