Tag Archives: portrait

Chatroulette Speed Painting

Get your portrait done in Chatroulette. [ Ed Note : I want to see all the outtakes where the artist had to paint a bunch of penis portraits.] Watch

What Aliens Really Look Like

Portrait gallerys of the most common Alien sightings around the world. [ Ed Note : I hope #15 is the real one! He seems really nice.] View

Third Time’s The Charm: Latest NYT Patterson Bombshell Really Explodes [Bombshells]

Well! New York Times exposes on Gov. David Paterson are like Godfather movies: They come in threes. But unlike Copolla, The New York Times saved the best for last. Hypocrisy? violence against women? Abuse of power? It’s all here. Damn. Where to begin? How about with the brutal Halloween beating David W. Johnson , Paterson’s 6-foot-7 driver and closest confidant , allegedly gave an ex-girlfriend last year. From the Times article : According to the woman’s account, Mr. Johnson confronted her in their bedroom, choked her, tore her Halloween costume off, pushed her into the dresser and then continued to choke her with one hand. In her account, she screamed for Mr. Johnson to stop and then screamed for the help of a friend who was visiting. The woman said Mr. Johnson first took one telephone from her to prevent her from calling the police, and then chased her into another room when she went to find a second phone. Mr. Johnson then turned to the woman’s friend and told her to leave, “if you know what’s good for you,” according to the woman’s account. After this altercation, the woman says she was pressured by the State Police into not pressing charges. The State Police confirm contacting her. Oh, and not just any State Police: A member of the special detail which protects the governor—and David W. Johnson. The head of the state police told the Times “We never pressured her… we just gave her options.” Still, according to the Times the woman pressed forward with her charges against her high-profile ex. Until this February, when she got a call from Paterson himself. (Paterson claims the woman initiated the call.) She didn’t show up for her next hearing, and the case was dropped. What to make of this episode? The Times will not tell you, since they are a serious newspaper and print “just the facts.” But the article leaves exactly the right blanks to fill in with a clear case of Paterson using the State Police as his own private Statsi to make a violent problem go away for his sketchy best friend. For example, the Times notes the fact that the timing of Paterson’s call puts it right as the paper was preparing their earlier, less incriminating profile of Johnson and his past trouble with women and drugs. Hmmm… And the article repeatedly mentions that the State Police—Paterson’s police—visited the woman despite the assault being under NYPD’s jurisdiction. Hmmmmm…. Oh, and after the Times visited the woman’s house, Paterson got upset about it during a meeting with the editorial board. Uh huh… Whether it was intentional or not, we have to admire the way the three Times Paterson scoops build on each other to create the perfect Portrait of the Governor as a Real Asshole: In the first installment , we learn of Paterson’s girlfriend-beating trouble magnet aide, David W. Johnson. Maybe Paterson doesn’t have the best character judgment, we think with a shrug. The second article reveals that Paterson pays for his vacations with campaign cash and gives his friend’s ex-girlfriend a job. OK, so he has a little thing with using the power of his office to make things happen for himself and his buddies—paying for vacations with campaign cash and giving his friend’s ex-girlfriend a job in his administration. Small things, but still… Uh oh… Then: Boom. Three articles full of interesting facts. Three is also the number of sides of a triangle. Let’s triangulate.

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Third Time’s The Charm: Latest NYT Patterson Bombshell Really Explodes [Bombshells]

Tiger Woods Text Messages: Flat-Out Ridiculous

Even for a guy we knew cheated on Elin Nordegren with eight mistresses (and counting) Tiger Woods surprised us with the content of these text messages. At times dirty and at times emotionally vulnerable, his texts and emails to mistresses Jaimee Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel paint quite the portrait of the man. One second, Tiger’s jealous of Rachel’s romantic past and worrying about being just “number f–king five” on the list of famous men Uchitel has been with.

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Tiger Woods Text Messages: Flat-Out Ridiculous

Totally Non-Pedo Michael Jackson Painting

Jacko commissioned artist David Nordahl to paint this portrait in 1999. It appears to be an homage to Michelangelo's David, and possibly your creepy uncle

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Totally Non-Pedo Michael Jackson Painting

Jodie Marsh Tones It Down

Here’s busty British nobody/bodybuilder Jodie Marsh at the Celebrity! The Heat Portrait Collection , whatever that is, the other night looking like she’s toned down the muscles a little bit. I’m not used to seeing her looking this normal

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Jodie Marsh Tones It Down

Pink Brings Her Sexy Funhouse Spectacle To Madison Square Garden

New York show features glitter, trapeze acts, pillow fights and some old-fashioned Bush-bashing. By Lauren Joskowitz Pink performs at Madison Square Garden on Monday Photo: Kevin Mazur/ WireImage NEW YORK — Pink soared through the air and rocked out at Madison Square Garden Monday night, filling the huge venue with the sights and sounds of her flashy Funhouse show. After opening act the Ting Tings roused the audience with their peppy hits, Pink’s set began with a video that showed her watching television.

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Pink Brings Her Sexy Funhouse Spectacle To Madison Square Garden

Free Ideas for Right Wing Poster Artists

A Portrait of a Liberal Antagonist + A Freakish Pop-Culture Facial Affliction = The Name of a Nasty Political System You Googled. Art By LunchBreath [via The Uniblog ] Contribute: Add an image, link, video or comment