Dear Bossip , Here is my problem. I was in an incredible relationship for 6 months that went from 0 to 100 quite fast! But, it wasn’t a bad thing. We both were on the same page. He told his family that he found the woman he wanted to marry and I felt the same way. Well, the problem began due to the lack of communication and the differences in our love language. My love language is gift-giving, but the way I receive love is words of affirmation. He was great at doing this. Here comes the problem. Out of nowhere we started to grow apart around the fifth month. He did not express it to me until after we broke up, which was nearly 3 months ago. He felt that I was not showing him the affection he wanted or deserved. He felt under-appreciated and not loved. I was totally blown out of the water because I felt that it could not have been further from the truth. Like, seriously, I love this man still wholeheartedly and unconditionally and will give my all to prove it. Fast forward to recently. Before we broke up we planned a trip to Jamaica to go to our friend’s wedding. He said we can handle this as adults. The chemistry was undeniable and it could not be hidden on the trip. Needless to say, we just clicked again, naturally, as if nothing happened. But, I could tell that he felt guilty about the chemistry and instant connection (Not that he stopped things from happening). So, I asked if he was seeing someone back home, and his response was, “Maybe.” What the heck does that mean? He said he doesn’t know what to call it. Turns out it’s a chick that he works with that has been eyeing since we been together, and she’d been constantly claiming that she can make him happier. Well, I guess she finally got her opportunity. After a phenomenal week, and amazing chemistry, the harsh reality hit me when she picked him up from the airport and jumped into his arms. He was hesitant I assume because I was standing there, but I can see she was happy to show me that she got her chance. My question is: Could she be the rebound chick or could this be more? He openly admitted to missing me and us in Jamaica, but said I hurt him by not showing him the affection he wanted. I told him then why couldn’t we just communicate these things and work on a solution instead of letting the love potentially die? He said he didn’t know. The feelings I felt in Jamaica were not fake. I know love still lives there, but his ego is too big and I believe he is afraid of getting hurt again. How do I right my wrongs? I do not want to give up on such a good man! I love him too much. I did a private boudoir photo shoot and the photographer made him a book and sent it to him. I asked for it back after the trip. He refused and said, “I love it,” and that I made it for him. I said, but I just sent it to you after we were broken up and now you have a new woman. I believe he knows he stills loves me, but don’t’ know if he wants to take the risk. Love is worth all the risks right? You can’t love fully unless you are willing to let go completely. Do you think I am wasting my time or do you think I still have a chance? I asked him was he happy and he said yes. He said she shows affection. I said what about the other eighty percent, love has a ebb and flow. It’s not always good, but it ain’t always bad either. What do I do? I want my man back before it’s too late! I l feel like she had the inside track and used it to her advantage. He was vulnerable and she helped him through it. I’m not blaming her but I want her gone and him back home! Help me! Why are men so full of pride? How do I fix my relationship? – Want Him Back Dear Ms. Want Him Back , Sigh!!! Deep sigh!!! Real deep sigh!!!! Let me do some whoo-sa’s and calm my spirit. Honey, please, for the sake of yourself, and for all of us, stop begging this man to take you back. It’s over. It’s done. He’s moved on. And, I’m for real when I say this, but do you all read your letters back to yourselves, out loud, before you send them in? You answer your own letters! In the very first paragraph you said, “Well, the problem began due to the lack of communication and the differences in our love language. My love language is gift-giving, but the way I receive love is words of affirmation. He was great at doing this.” If he broke up with you because he said you did not show him affection, and he felt under-appreciated and unloved. And, if the way you demonstrate love is through gift giving, and your man wants and needs affection, and he wants to feel appreciated, and he wants to feel loved, then boo boo, you can’t buy those things. Those are emotions and feelings that are done through physical and verbal actions. You can’t buy love! You can’t buy someone! Money and gifts does not equate love. So, why were you floored and shocked that he ended it? This is not rocket science. Your relationship is over because, as you stated, there was a difference in your love language. He wanted one thing, and you wanted another. You got what you wanted. You admitted that when you said that he was great at affirming his love to you. Yet, you didn’t do your part. You didn’t express your love to him the way he wanted. Now, he is with a woman that is doing what you should have been doing from the beginning. He is with another woman who ran and jumped into his arms when he returned from his trip to Jamaica with you. You notice that her act of affection, and attention when he returned, was the very thing he was seeking from you all along. So, let’s answer your other questions: How do you fix your relationship? Ma’am, you don’t have a relationship. The hell! You are truly delusional. He broke up with you. You are no longer together. He is with another woman. There is nothing to fix. Jesus take the wheel! Do I think she is the rebound chick or something more? Who knows, but for right now she is giving him the affection and attention he is seeking. She’s making him happy, and he obviously isn’t interested in dumping her to get back with you. So, what do you think? How do you right the wrongs? Ma’am, you learn from them. You take the lessons, learn from them, and make sure to do better the next time so that you don’t repeat them. Is love worth all the risks? Yes, love is. But, he is not in love with you. You’re in love with him, and in order for it to be reciprocal, and worth the risk, then two people have to be willing to fight for it. He’s moved on. He’s decided that he is better off without you. You’re the one chasing him. You’re the one running after him. He isn’t reaching out to you, or even said to you that he is willing to give it another try. He’s not interested. Do I think you are wasting your time, or if you have a chance? Well, as a betting man, I think you are wasting your time. Your relationship lasted six months, and in the fifth month things began to unravel. It was in the fifth month that you should have sat with your man, talked with him, and made the adjustments so that you can move forward. The two of you should have worked together to get on the same page, and discuss the challenges of the relationship. But, here is my thing: The fact that he is already with the other woman, his co-worker, this says a whole lot. They obviously had been eyeing one another prior to him dating you. I don’t believe that once you started dating that she all of a sudden showed up. This has been an ongoing thing between them. And, yes, she got what she wanted because he was going back to her and talking about his relationship with you. Thus, she listened to what he was complaining about in you, and she became the woman he wanted you to be. (That bish is fierce!) And, that little get together while you were in Jamaica was just that, a little get together. He had sex with you, rekindled with some familiar coochie, and you do notice that when you got back home he went home with her. I’m sure that there were some feelings while you were on an exotic island, and at a wedding so love was in the air, it’s romantic, beautiful, and everything a Hallmark card is made of, but reality set in when it was time to go home. He was reminded of all the reasons of why he broke up with you, and what he had waiting for him when he returned home. Yes, he may have been vulnerable and he really wanted things to work with you, but you didn’t give him what he needed or what he wanted. And, he didn’t think you were, or that you are worth the investment. Girl, please learn from this experience. It’s time to heal your heart, and focus all that energy on yourself instead of trying to get him back. Use that energy to become a better you. Use that energy to love yourself. Don’t chase someone who doesn’t want to be with you, and they are not chasing you in return. Don’t make someone a priority when you are an option for them. Don’t give your all if they are not giving you their all. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
In first interview since announcing she’s transgender, Against Me! singer talks with MTV News about painful past, new life and future of her band. By James Montgomery Laura Jane Grace Photo: This is the story of a woman named Laura Jane Grace, who was born in the body of a boy named Tommy Gabel, and spent the next 31 years of her life trying to get out. It starts a long time ago, back when Gabel was 4 or 5 years old and had just watched a televised performance by Madonna. It was the moment Laura first let herself be known, when the boy who spent skinned-kneed summers dressed as a cowboy or Superman realized she was not actually a boy at all. And not surprisingly, given her strict upbringing on military bases across the South (Gabel’s father is a retired Army major), she didn’t understand how to process this rather pertinent bit of new information. All she knew was that, for the first time in her life, she felt somehow different. “When you’re younger, you don’t necessarily get it, [but] I just completely identified with Madonna,” Laura admits. “Watching ‘Rosemary’s Baby,’ and seeing Mia Farrow with a boy’s haircut, was another moment I remember thinking, ‘That’s me, that’s what I’m going to grow up to be, that’s the kind of woman that I’ll be.’ ” Of course, over the next 20-something years, a life like that seemed impossible. Gabel’s parents got divorced, and she moved to Florida with her mom. As a teen, she lived with a secret shame, experimenting first with cross-dressing — then eventually graduating to drugs and alcohol — as a way of coping with what is clinically known as gender dysphoria, one’s discontent with the sex they were assigned at birth and the gender roles associated with that sex. But back then, without the Internet and only films like “The Silence of the Lambs” to serve as reference points, Gabel felt like she was some kind of pervert or a freak. And the kids she went to school with didn’t do much to dissuade those feelings, picking on her and calling her a “f—-t.” She hated the way she looked, hated the way she felt and, above all else, hated herself. It was, needless to say, the low point of her story. About this time, Gabel also discovered punk rock, mostly as a way of fighting back. She’d begin writing songs in her bedroom, using the name Against Me!, which she now admits was a nod to her gender issues, and at 18, she moved to Gainesville, Florida, to form a band. Over the next decade, she’d get married (and divorced), live a life of anarcho-punk austerity, tour the world with Against Me! and even get signed to a major label. She’d begin to pepper AM! songs with references to her secret, and at points, she’d even swear off cross-dressing and do her best to bury her transgender feelings. But no matter how much she tried, she just couldn’t do it. “You don’t understand what’s happening to you … though, as you grow older, you realize this isn’t something that goes away,” she says. “When you’re younger, you have these moments where you’re like, ‘OK, I’m going to choose to be male. I will be male. This is it. I’m going to take all my women’s clothes that I have secretly hidden away under my bed, and I’m going to put ’em in a garbage bag and I’m going to throw them in a dumpster, and that’s it. I swear off this behavior for the rest of my life.’ “And then you get to that point where you’re like, ‘This isn’t something that’s going away,’ ” she continues. “And you start hearing so many other people’s stories, and you realize, ‘That’s me. This is what I’m going through.’ And it becomes so apparent that you’d be a fool to continue to deny it.” For Laura, the end of the denial began in 2009, when, newly married and with a daughter on the way, she began to realize that she could no longer continue living two lives. “I couldn’t exist as a woman in hotel rooms by myself and then come home and pretend to be someone else,” she now admits. “I’d end up killing myself.” She decided to finally reveal her secret. Over the next year, she first came out as transgender to her wife, Heather, then her Against Me! bandmates, and finally, the world, via a much-publicized feature in Rolling Stone magazine. And in doing so, she not only became the most prominent artist to live openly as transgender , but for the first time in her life, she felt unburdened. And free. “I was really, honestly excited. When I first told my wife, immediately it was just like this huge weight being lifted off my shoulders, and subsequently every other person that I’ve told, that feeling was more and more there,” Laura says. “I’ve been completely blown away by the majority of people’s reactions. … They’ve been more than respectful and more than supportive, and it’s been, for me, completely humbling.” In the month since the Rolling Stone story broke, Laura Jane Grace has begun hormone treatments and returned to the stage with Against Me! And before their show at New York’s Terminal 5 — where they’d be joined by Joan Jett for a cover of the Replacements’ “Androgynous” — Laura and the band sat down with MTV News for their first on-camera interview. For an hour, they spoke openly and honestly about the state of the group and the fallout from Laura’s revelation. There were jokes about personal pronouns and applying makeup in the back of the tour bus, touching moments of brotherly (and sisterly) love — “She can take care of herself,” beefy guitarist James Bowman laughed, when asked whether the band felt the need to protect Laura — and a general camaraderie that, for an act with as tumultuous a history as AM!’s, was positively revelatory. In every conceivable way, they seem like a new band, one as free as Laura herself. “We didn’t want to make it melodramatic. … It was kind of simple in a way,” bassist Andrew Seward says. “It sounds cheesy, but it’s not: You just want your friend to be happy. When this came out, I think the bottom line for all of us was just ‘be happy.’ ” “I’ve been a jerk over the past few years. I’ve been an absolute ass in so many ways, just from, you have this thing you’re dealing with that you don’t know how to process it, and it bears on you,” Laura adds. “And it comes out in so many different ways. … You express your anger at what is going on, and you take it out on your closest friends. And now, I’ve obviously apologized.” And it’s about the only time she’s apologized for anything. Laura admits that her new life hasn’t been accepted by everyone — “It’s completely ended my relationship with my father,” she says — but after 31 years spent wrestling with the supposed shame and stigma of gender dysphoria, she’s finally found happiness in honesty and the supreme freedom of living life on her terms. And she’s never going back now. In a lot of ways, Laura Jane Grace’s story is only just beginning — and we’re honored to be able to tell the next chapter. Of course, Laura isn’t too concerned with any of that. She doesn’t want to be mythologized and isn’t interested in being seen as a transgender icon. Instead, she just wants to enjoy living a life unburdened. And really, she’s earned that. “I never thought any of this would be possible. It was just something that, conceptually, I could never realize. But … my life improves every single day. I try to make a step every single day, no matter how big or how small,” Laura says. “It feels like I’m in control of my life, and I’m in control of my person, and that’s empowering. Saying to someone ‘I’m a transsexual’ is the most empowering thing I’ve ever felt in my whole life.” Related Videos Laura Jane Grace: Her Life, Her Words Related Artists Against Me!
By Gil Kaufman Justin Bieber Photo: Judging by the screams and massive crowds that follow him whenever he performs live, Justin Bieber has a penchant for blowing his fans’ minds. But on Monday night during a private show at Harlem, New York’s legendary Apollo Theater he also blew out the power grid. According to the Associated Press , Bieber was forced to finish the show unplugged after the power went out at the venue near the end of the show. Most of the stage instruments lost juice and manager Scooter Braun said the problem caused the singer to improvise. “Then we hear the fire alarm,” Braun explained “Literally, the boy blew up the Apollo — he heated up the Apollo.” Before the show, Bieber tweeted that the gig was a special one for him given the history of the storied venue, which has hosted everyone from James Brown, Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder to Mariah Carey and, recently, former Beatle Paul McCartney. “A lot of emotions in the building,” he wrote . “This one is special. This one is for MJ.” A short time later, he joked, “Me and @ludacris blew up the power at the @ApolloTheater. Haha. Epic. #beastmode … A night none of us will ever forget!! That is how u end an #AllAroundTheWorld run!!! With no power for the last song … my fans sang it 4 me!” The power outage only affected the stage instruments and some lighting and while Braun was told the problem would be solved in a few minutes, it went on for more than 40 minutes. Bieber tried to have fun with the glitch at first, joking that it was all the “hot girls in here,” according to Apollo rep Nina Flowers, who ranked the snafu as a classic “Apollo moment.” MTV News has rounded up all the vital information to get you up to speed on today’s album release. Also, be sure to tune in on tonight for MTV’s “Bieber Live,” where Justin will dish about his new album at 7:30 p.m. ET/PT. The 18-year-old pro hardly missed a beat, jumping behind the drums for a solo and asking the crowd to serenade Braun for his birthday. Though he was happy to vamp for a bit, at some point Braun said Bieber got frustrated when the power outage went on for nearly an hour because the show was being taped as part of an NBC special slated to air later this week in celebration of his new album, Believe . He got over it and rewarded the crowd that had stuck with him during the outage by performing his hit single “Boyfriend” with some audience participation. “He walks out, he literally quiets the crowd, and he says, ‘I’m sorry the power is out. . (But) you guys have always had my back. I’m going to sing ‘Boyfriend’ and you’re going to sing it back to me,'” Braun said. Flowers didn’t know what caused the power to run out, but she gave Bieber props for his professionalism. “He could have stopped; he could have not gone on and said, I did everything . but he came back on,” she said. Don’t miss “Bieber Live” tonight at 7:30 p.m. ET/PT on MTV. Related Videos MTV First: Justin Bieber Related Photos Justin Bieber Performs On The ‘Today’ Show Justin Bieber Gets Down At Free Show In Mexico City Related Artists Justin Bieber
Submitted by Chris Martenson Charles Biderman: The Problem With Rigged Markets “Even Wile E. Coyote had to come back down to earth sooner or later”, says Charles Biderman, founder of TrimTabs Investment Research. In his opinion, the prices of stocks and bonds – enabled by excessive financialization of our economy and central bank money printing – have been defying gravity for a dangerously long time…. Broadcasting platform : YouTube Source : zero hedge Discovery Date : 31/03/2012 02:33 Number of articles : 2
If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it. ~Anthony J. D’Angelo The more you complain, the more you contribute to the problem. The time you spend whining about what went wrong is the same time you could use to improve your life. Invest your energy in the solution, not the problem.
Not to discount Adriana Lima’s hot mom body that is better than most mom bodies…even the mom bodies I see leaving the gym that have been working out insanely the last 3 years to keep their rich husbands interested in them bodies…but almost any bitch who isn’t overweight in heels like that is gonna look like she’s got amazing legs and a great ass…even if they don’t…it’s the magic of heels motherfucker…but I know this Lima bitch is pro…and here she is getting paid for the shit…and as hot as you may find it…the whole baby thing throws me off…I mean Lima at 19 was a force…if she was a storm, she’d be Katrina…now she’s just a breezy day….a reflection of what she once was….and that’s the problem with models…they are only human and they get old.
Damn, are these kids THAT bad?!?! Authorities paid a visit to Dekaney High School in Houston, Tex., after what students called an “outrageous” brawl broke out in the cafeteria, KHOU-TV reports. “All these people came and just started hitting everybody,” student Maya Rodriguez told the station. “After a while, I got hit and everybody just started fighting. So I hit back…” A student caught the riot on cell phone camera, and told KTRK that students were throwing items like milk cartons in the cafeteria and trash cans in the halls. Parents told KTRK that they’re sick of the violence the school, and blame the “lack of control” by school officials. Dekaney High School principal Delic Lloyd says they are working to fix the problem, the station reports. “We are working hard to work together and partner with parents and the community to improve the climate of Dekaney High School and to prove the teaching and learning that’s taking place here,” Lloyd told KTRK. Source
Everything that ‘deluded’ orthodox economists have done so far has been designed to aid the creditors (who remain the problem) while Steve Keen , the most familiar face of the non-orthodox economists, sees the only solution to this crisis as aiding the debtors . His interview with BBC’s HardTalk this week covers a great deal of ground from modern debt jubilees (and how they should be structured),… Broadcasting platform : YouTube Source : zero hedge Discovery Date : 25/11/2011 12:06 Number of articles : 2
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