You’ve probably heard someone say “chivalry is dead” thousands of time. And that individual was probably a disappointed woman. Not all men have forgotten the rules to being a gentleman (SEE! I’m not generalizing!), but many just don’t care anymore. Maybe it has something to do with the whole independent woman stance many of us have taken over the years. Perhaps some men think “if you’re so independent, then what do you need me to pay for dinner for?” And no, we’re definitely not meek and helpless, we can indeed do things for ourselves too. But it’s not like we’re asking men to bring us flowers everyday and recklessly paint our toenails, but just a little display of respect from time to time, showing off what I know your parents taught you, would be nice. Here are seven ways you know there needs to be some slow singing and flower bringing on behalf of our dear friend chivalry. Continued at MadameNoire.com
The institution of marriage is perfect. God created it. What is not perfect are the husband and the wife. The husband and wife are not perfect because they were once boyfriend and girlfriend. Dating is ruining marriages. Shoot boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are lasting longer than marriages these days. Bad girlfriends are allowing boyfriends to extend relationships beyond the time it takes to get a college education. (Notice that I did not say bad boyfriends. He can’t be too bad if she is staying.) Remember ladies, DATE MORE & LEAVE EARLIER! Man and woman are developing bad habits during dating that they are taking into marriage. What I am finding is that men are going into marriages lacking operational principles. The three most prominent principles they are missing are leadership, financial management and communication principles. For women it is not so much the principles that are missing as it is the self respect. I am meeting too many women that would rather be married than respected by their man. (If he don’t respect you, he is not your man, he is your male and male can be delivered to any address.) MEN The single man is doing whatever he wants to do. He maybe dating a woman that he really likes but then a disagreement occurs and instead of working through that disagreement and coming up with a compromise, he just leaves. He leaves under the assumption that the woman is the one that’s crazy. Men, if your woman is crazy then you drove her to craziness! I believe a good man will resolve all of the issues of a woman. Love your woman right and I assure you that you won’t have a problem with her. Single men are not developing the skills necessary while dating to be successful at marriage. The average single man is not preparing for marriage. They are not seeking out other successfully married men for guidance and advice. They are not fully aware of the amount of love necessary to keep the wife happy. Here is a barometer fellas: 1.) God 2.) Wife 3.) Wife 4.) Open 5.) Everyone Else. Marriages would survive if men adopted a good leadership principle. PRINCIPLES My principle is, “All relationships and marriages are either successful or they fail based solely on the leadership of the man.” Men set the tone of the relationship. Men set the direction of the marriage. It starts with the man. Men are competitive in everything in life except the longevity of their marriage. I challenge all of my friends right here and right now: NO ONE WILL BE MARRIED LONGER THAN ME! And that includes death because studies show that you live longer when you are happily married. My wife and I are going to be married at least 100 years! We will be married those 105 or so years because I have adopted a leadership principle. That leadership principle is that if anything goes wrong in our marriage it is my fault. When our marriage was bad, we spent a lot of time pointing fingers at eat other. I spent too much energy trying to explain to her why I was right and she was wrong. (I was probably wrong.) I spent so much time thinking about our disagreement that it just became easier to raise my hand and say, “It is my fault honey.” Then I could apologize, make my 2-3 points, hear her piece and SQUASH IT!!!! A leader is not afraid of taking on responsibility. A man with good leadership principles is not as concerned with the problem as they are concerned with the solution. Once men tackle and beat their leadership issues next up is financial management. Financial principles are the foundational methods that a man uses to spend, save and invest money. I developed my financial principles because I have way too many conversations with men complaining about money. Here is a scenario that I had recently with a man: RelationshipBeast: If you knew that house was too much for you to be able to afford comfortably then why did you let her talk you into buying it? Dude: She really loved that house. I wanted to make her happy. RelationshipBeast: If you have financial principles it is easier to stick to a budget. Don’t come crying now about the expenses when you approved them. Since you did not have a financial principle, now you have a financial problem. Stop blaming her and blame the leadership in charge – YOU! Go figure it out! READ MORE! – Stop Telling Your Man My Business! Why Do Black Men Love White Women? – Twitter.com/StevenJDixon Facebook.com/RelationshipBeast Are These BP Artists Good Enough to Get Signed? Lil’ Kim & Nicki Minaj To Perform Together At BET Awards? Sean Kingston Released From The Hospital! DMX “I Don’t Like Drake”
Every woman has that “Waiting To Exhale” moment where they undergo a hellafied break-up with their significant other and in order to get back to your old self again, sometimes you have to make a few changes. Now not every woman has to make these changes but it will certainly give you that certain “oomph” that can make you feel single and sexy! Check out the 5 changes to make after a break up below: 5. Change your hairstyle. A simple change to that same hairstyle that you’ve been sporting for umpteen years could not only boost your self-esteem but enhance your attitude as well. A dramatic cut, a brighter color or highlights, or even a new wig/weave could unleash your inner diva. 4. Take yourself shopping. “Out with the old and in with the new.” During a time when it is so easy to fall into that cold black hole known as depression can very well be avoided if you will yourself to get out of the bed and get out of those frumpy long johns and go indulge and spend some “me” time. Hit the mall and splurge on at least one thing you’ve been wanting for yourself, trust me it can make you feel a lot better.Warning: This can only be beneficial when done in moderation and with the strong use of self-control, or else you could find yourself in a deeper hole of depression. 3. Make goals for yourself. Make goals for yourself so you can see what it is that you want and make it a point to meet those goals. It is important to keep yourself busy if you want to avoid thinking about him . Accomplish some of the things you’ve always wanted to accomplish in life. If you need to go back to school, go back to school, if you need to get your GED do that, just remember this process is all about bettering yourself as a woman. 2. Create a bucket list. As I previously stated it is important to keep busy and not only that but this is the time to dedicate time to you . After being in a relationship for so long sometimes it can become easy for your needs and wants to fall by the wayside, and if this happened to you this is your time to take advantage of the time you lost and document all of the things you want to do before you die and complete them. By the time your next relationship comes around you’ll feel totally complete. 1. Hit the gym. *Cues Kanye West “Workout Plan”* There is no better feeling then for your ex to see you post break up looking in tip top shape. Not only does it make you feel good for your ex to see you in the best shape of your life but your friends as well. Sometimes the hardest thing to do after a break up is get your self-esteem back up, and the first step to do this is to work out and stay healthy. Follow these 5 steps post break-up and you’ll be on your way to a fresher and better you! Six Reasons To Date More Than One Man At A Time 5 Guidelines To Follow When Dating As Many Men As Possible 11 Things That Women Look For In A Man Is Beyonce A Liar? [VIDEO] THEN & NOW: 1980s Music Icons FACT OF THE DAY: Rick Ross Attended College On A Football Scholarship
Remember a time long ago, in a far away land, when men were globally generalized as being emotionally disconnected? And somewhat standoffish when it comes to their feelings? You know what I’m talking about: when guys used Snoop Dogg’s famous line, “we don’t love dem hoes,” as their anthem and kept it moving! Well, it seems as though, after the new millennium approached, the rock solid brick wall men built years ago came tumbling down like the Berlin Wall. Oh, trust me, I’ve seen it all, and I’m not talking about only in my personal life either, just look at what goes on in the media. Take for instance Z-list rapper, Joe Budden. This kid has been in more nasty break-ups than Destiny’s Child. But the break-up isn’t the issue, it’s what occurs AFTER the break-up that makes him, as Somaya Reece would say, “a vagina.” When he was with Tahiry, he saw to it that he vlogged a great deal of what transpired in their relationship so naturally, he wouldn’t be tight-lipped after things went south. Budden did everything from broadcasting their differences on blogs to calling into radio stations, having twitter fights, and even making songs about it. Now, Budden recently broke up with model Esther Baxter. However, things got extremely ugly after Budden wrote a song about Baxter, as she proceeded to make claims that Budden abused her and caused her to have a miscarriage. Budden isn’t the only emotional guy out there though, there are scenarios that everyone has seen that occur in your everyday life. Furthermore, because this issue is becoming inevitable, I’ve listed 5 ways to let you know you’re guy may just be “a vagina!” 1. If he blows up your cell EVERY time you have a girls’ night out. Either he REALLY loves you or he’s just a straight up bugaboo. And there are ways around those issues. If it’s just that he really loves you, you have to sit him down and try to explain that although you feel the same about him, it’s also healthy for the two of you to still do your own separate things every now and then as well. That way you will never lose sight of yourself throughout your relationship. On the other hand, if it’s just that he’s a bugaboo, get rid of him. You’ll never have any time to yourself and that could cause issues further down the line in your relationship. 2. He demands you to drop all of your male friends the moment you start talking. Girl, this is a sign that your new guy has the potential to be a control freak with very low confidence. He’ll always think you have negative intentions, so save yourself the energy and end it the moment this happens. This guy will have it embedded in his head that you’ve either been intimate with your male friends before or desire to be with them at some point in the future. He views them as his competition therefore, you’ll never catch a break. 3. He cries because he “just loves you so much.” The only instances this is even almost acceptable is on your wedding day, your death bed or your funeral. Anything other than that is just weird and a little creepy. The whole Lifetime-movie, crazy-in-love stalker steez is not attractive on anyone. 4. After every argument, he writes subliminal statuses about you. This is a sure sign that he can’t hold water. He will tell anyone who will listen the ups and downs of your relationship. End it immediately. If you wanted someone to know specifics about you, tell them yourself. Every detail of your relationship doesn’t need to be displayed all over Facebook and Twitter. You will never feel completely secure in your relationship if he is sure to broadcast to the world every single disagreement. 5. He has a history of messy break-ups. This is a warning sign so please proceed with caution. While one or maybe even two messy break-ups in a row are understandable, if this becomes a pattern it could form a cycle and the problem is likely not his former girlfriends. It could be him. He has a lot of growing up to do and it is up to you to determine if you want to be by his side while he matures. This is a situation where you have to evaluate your life and his and see if you even have the energy to deal with that drama. Even the healthiest relationships are hard as it is, as a woman you need to be able to decide if you are willing to deal with a man that is extremely sensitive. If you do make that decision, make sure you know what you are getting yourself into. Be mindful that you should be able to learn from your partner and be able to uplift each other, if he isn’t adding any positivity into your life or encouraging you to succeed then you can find a much better situation than the one you are in. In short, you can’t control much in your life so the things that you can control you should make as easy as possible. “My Man Can’t Read, Got His Baby Momma Pregnant & He’s Sleeping With An Ex” 11 Things You Need To Know About Men & Relationships
Remember a time long ago, in a far away land, when men were globally generalized as being emotionally disconnected? And somewhat standoffish when it comes to their feelings? You know what I’m talking about: when guys used Snoop Dogg’s famous line, “we don’t love dem hoes,” as their anthem and kept it moving! Well, it seems as though, after the new millennium approached, the rock solid brick wall men built years ago came tumbling down like the Berlin Wall. Oh, trust me, I’ve seen it all, and I’m not talking about only in my personal life either, just look at what goes on in the media. Take for instance Z-list rapper, Joe Budden. This kid has been in more nasty break-ups than Destiny’s Child. But the break-up isn’t the issue, it’s what occurs AFTER the break-up that makes him, as Somaya Reece would say, “a vagina.” When he was with Tahiry, he saw to it that he vlogged a great deal of what transpired in their relationship so naturally, he wouldn’t be tight-lipped after things went south. Budden did everything from broadcasting their differences on blogs to calling into radio stations, having twitter fights, and even making songs about it. Now, Budden recently broke up with model Esther Baxter. However, things got extremely ugly after Budden wrote a song about Baxter, as she proceeded to make claims that Budden abused her and caused her to have a miscarriage. Budden isn’t the only emotional guy out there though, there are scenarios that everyone has seen that occur in your everyday life. Furthermore, because this issue is becoming inevitable, I’ve listed 5 ways to let you know you’re guy may just be “a vagina!” 1. If he blows up your cell EVERY time you have a girls’ night out. Either he REALLY loves you or he’s just a straight up bugaboo. And there are ways around those issues. If it’s just that he really loves you, you have to sit him down and try to explain that although you feel the same about him, it’s also healthy for the two of you to still do your own separate things every now and then as well. That way you will never lose sight of yourself throughout your relationship. On the other hand, if it’s just that he’s a bugaboo, get rid of him. You’ll never have any time to yourself and that could cause issues further down the line in your relationship. 2. He demands you to drop all of your male friends the moment you start talking. Girl, this is a sign that your new guy has the potential to be a control freak with very low confidence. He’ll always think you have negative intentions, so save yourself the energy and end it the moment this happens. This guy will have it embedded in his head that you’ve either been intimate with your male friends before or desire to be with them at some point in the future. He views them as his competition therefore, you’ll never catch a break. 3. He cries because he “just loves you so much.” The only instances this is even almost acceptable is on your wedding day, your death bed or your funeral. Anything other than that is just weird and a little creepy. The whole Lifetime-movie, crazy-in-love stalker steez is not attractive on anyone. 4. After every argument, he writes subliminal statuses about you. This is a sure sign that he can’t hold water. He will tell anyone who will listen the ups and downs of your relationship. End it immediately. If you wanted someone to know specifics about you, tell them yourself. Every detail of your relationship doesn’t need to be displayed all over Facebook and Twitter. You will never feel completely secure in your relationship if he is sure to broadcast to the world every single disagreement. 5. He has a history of messy break-ups. This is a warning sign so please proceed with caution. While one or maybe even two messy break-ups in a row are understandable, if this becomes a pattern it could form a cycle and the problem is likely not his former girlfriends. It could be him. He has a lot of growing up to do and it is up to you to determine if you want to be by his side while he matures. This is a situation where you have to evaluate your life and his and see if you even have the energy to deal with that drama. Even the healthiest relationships are hard as it is, as a woman you need to be able to decide if you are willing to deal with a man that is extremely sensitive. If you do make that decision, make sure you know what you are getting yourself into. Be mindful that you should be able to learn from your partner and be able to uplift each other, if he isn’t adding any positivity into your life or encouraging you to succeed then you can find a much better situation than the one you are in. In short, you can’t control much in your life so the things that you can control you should make as easy as possible. “My Man Can’t Read, Got His Baby Momma Pregnant & He’s Sleeping With An Ex” 11 Things You Need To Know About Men & Relationships
We all look to Mothers that we love at this time of year. In the next few hours we will be calling out to our mothers, godmothers, grandmothers, and aunts. We are calling to mind all the greatness that wiped our tears, calmed our fears and gave us endless cheers. For this dear Mothers we tell the world far and near thank you for everything dear. Words Of Wisdom From Black Celebrity Mothers The dictionary defines a mother , mom , mum , momma or mama , is a woman who has conceived, given birth to, or raised a child in the role of a parent. Because of the complexity and differences of a mother’s social, cultural, and religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to define a mother to suit a universally accepted definition. We all have women in our lives who give the love , care and nurturing that is needed so that we are well rounded individuals. Those women who do those simplest of things with ease are the greatest gifts any person can have. How To Deal With Relationships That Can Affect New Moms and Dads
Yesterday I came across a HelloBeautiful article on Halle Berry in which she states that she is not the “marrying kind”. My heart sank as I read the following passage, “My father left us when I was young and that did affect my life. If I had a good father in my life, growing up, then I do not think I would have made the mistakes I made. I would not have been lost in love.” Halle Berry Is Pretty In Pink At Silver Rose Auction [PHOTOS] It struck me hard reading that because I too had the privilege of experiencing abandonment by my father at an early age. I carried the anger and confusion around for years. I would be lying if I said I did not try to find him in the men that I’ve dated. He wasn’t there. However some of my ex-lovers carried my father’s ugly traits, so that I could remember exactly who he was. I have thought of and uttered aloud the statement Halle made about her father not being there. Longing for my father to come and patch up the past followed me like a plague allowing myself to be victimized by everyone and everything. Author Electa Rome Parks’ Newest Erotic Drama, ‘True Confessions’ It was easier to blame my father not being there as a reason for my failures in life and relationships, but deep inside I did not accept that as my truth. Every woman is capable of developing healthy and balanced relationships with men if she chooses to, despite her upbringing. I reconnected with my father by fluke at my aunt’s funeral last year. Every emotion you could feel, I felt on that very day. I recognized that there was an important reason why he came back into my life at the time he did and rolled with the punches. I am taking my time to reconnect, but I realize that we will not have a picture perfect father-daughter relationship, and that’s fine with me. At some point we all have to face our demons and Halle may need the support of counseling to meet hers head on. So your father was a no-show, sometimes as adults in order to reach our full potential in life we have to learn how to parent ourselves. This means taking responsibility for our decisions and working diligently to break bad habits in love and in life. Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Follow her on twitter @goddess_I
Who would have ever guessed Halle Berry has some issues and insecurities when it comes to men and relationships?! Not these two winners: She not only did she just realize she’s not meant to be anybody’s wife, she just wrapped her brain around the fact that her relationship choices are horrible. But it’s not her fault. “I WISH I had known then that I was not the marrying kind. It would have saved me a lot of time, heartache and grief over the years. I made all the wrong choices when it came to love. I have been an idiot. But, now, it is like a gift to myself – seeing more clearly and making better decisions. One thing was unavoidable. My father left us when I was young and that did affect my life. If I had a good father in my life, growing up, then I do not think I would have made the mistakes I made. I would not have been lost in love. I would have had a good role model and known what to look for. As it is, I had to find out about marriage from the men I’ve married. I have done it twice and I am not going to do it again. The traditional form of marriage is not for me. I did say, after my first marriage, ‘never again.’ I was burned and I was done. But I thought Eric really loved me, so I said ‘yes’ to his proposal. Poor thang! At least she’s good when it comes to getting older though. I can enjoy all facets of what I am – the sexy side, the strong side, the intellectual side, the mothering side, the funny side… and the vulnerable side. We become more complete as we grow older and, at 18, we don’t realise just how young and inexperienced we are. So growing older is not such a big deal for me, despite the fears that older actresses have in Hollywood. When I hit 40, for example, I didn’t feel 40 – or whatever that is supposed to feel like. I am just getting into my stride in my career. People said that it was going to be hard to get roles and that business dries up. But I don’t feel that way. You GO, Halle. Source
Call me crazy, but I really don’t understand how people can claim to be in a relationship with someone purely over the internet. How can you actually be in a relationship with someone if you have never physically spoken to them, never spoken to them over the phone even, never visited their house, never met their friends, hell, have never even met them! I had a pen-pal from Canada for most of my childhood, whom, although I exchanged pictures with, I never met in person, and even though I never met her, I would (and still do) consider Willow a friend. I used to be all for making friends in other countries or cities through email or writing letters, but these days, with the massive explosion of online dating and the growing number of news stories about online dates gone horribly wrong, I just think the whole thing is strange. Take “Chat Roulette” for instance. C.R is a web-based program, where you can chat to whoever randomly appears on your computer screen for as long as you want, then click onto the next random person. Theoretically, it’s meant to be primarily a tool for conversation, not dating, but every second person on the site is naked or creepy, most likely a combination of the two. Hardly, an ideal environment to meet a potential date. But considering this is one of the most authentic ways to talk to people online, and know that what you’re getting is the “real” them, as opposed to a planned out dating site profile, it is (irrational or not) how I judge the likelihood of ever actually meeting someone cool and normal on the web. My impression of internet dating is based on the stereotype of the lonely, socially-isolated misfit, who prefers to play online, rather than having real-life interactions. Skewed and biased as my assumption is, I know that I am not the only one who feels that way, and sadly, there are numerous articles in the news which seem to back up my theory. Take the example of the 13-year-old girl who was raped (in real life) by her 54-year-old “virtual husband,” who she had met through playing online game RuneScape and married in the game. This man, John Phillips, is what my impression of the average online dater is, and even when I hear the stories of people who have chatted or emailed with seemingly “normal” folk online, the idea still doesn’t sit right with me. In reality, how many people are actually completely truthful online? If everyone was always honest, I would be a multi-millionaire by now, after a lovely Nigerian princess gave me millions of dollars just because I had a “trustworthy name”, and was willing to let her hide some cash from her domineering husband in my bank account. It feels as though the online dating world is full of too many unscrupulous people who pray on those who are actually on the site to find companionship and love. Just look at the poor guy recently who thought he had met the love of his life online, but after “being with her” for 2 years and sending her $200,000 , she disappeared and he realized he was the victim of a scam the whole time. Basing a relationship with someone on only what they tell you through a computer, sets you up for disappointment. Sure, everyone knows someone who knows someone, who’s best friend met their husband online, and he’s gorgeous, with a great job and a lot of money, and now they’re happily married with 3 kids. But what about all the people who get stung from online dating? Match.com are currently facing legal proceedings against them from a woman who used their site and actually agreed to go on a real-life date with a man, and was, horribly, assaulted by him after the date. Turns out, he had been convicted of several counts of sexual battery, but had never told her about his conviction (what a surprise!). Not meeting the person in real-life and allowing your impression of them to be based on false assumptions, rather than your own intuition and judgment, is not only going to set you up to be possibly disappointed, but it can be very dangerous. Articles and testimonials I have read about the benefits of online dating skim over the dangerous nasty stuff, and focus on the “convenience” of dating without having to leave the comfort of your living room. In this day and age, everything is about convenience. Don’t have time to do grocery shopping? Don’t worry, you can order online. Can’t be bothered going to a store to try on clothes? It’s cool, they can be ordered online. No time to cook dinner? Just order in. Perfect. Some things however, require a bit of effort. Dating is one of them. I don’t care if it is more convenient or comfortable to stay home in your sweats and chat online, rather than going to all the effort of showering, doing your hair, nails, getting dressed (you know, all the things that everyone should do everyday anyway), having a virtual relationship is not a decent alternative to having a real-life, face to face relationship, with an actual person. What do you think? Is online dating cool, or creepy? 3 Signs You Could Be Dating Someone Dangerous 10 Ways To Get Yourself Hitched “We’re In Our 60′s & Met Online, But After Sex He Blew Me Off”
I don’t know how popular this Marloes Horst model is, you see cuz I’m not gay, a photographer, in the fashion industry, or creepily obsessed with models, cuz I generally hate models, envy their big money and party lifestyles, traveling the world to get half naked, but I know they are freakishly tall, and despite being called out for being skinny, actually are broader than most professional basketball playing men, but I do like them better than celebs, cuz celebs are generally not hot…all this to say these aren’t as good as her topless TOPLESS PHOTOSHOOTS , but they’re better than nothing….and that’s pretty much good enough for me and even the philosophy I like to live by….cuz I have low expectations…. FOLLOW ME
