Tag Archives: retirement

This is a lesson that the women of the world have known for a long time, but thanks to HBO’s Horatio Alger story for hipsters, men might get hip to it, too. Oh, what a cruel world that will be! On the episode, Ben and Cam need 300 vintage T-shirts to emblazon with their New York City-centric design for some crazy Japanese businessman who already ordered them from the go-getting duo. The problem is, they only have a week and not a single stitch of clothing. Cam hits up all the thrift stores in town, but only gets a handful of shirts. Then they go to Beacon’s Closet, a pretty decent if not overly-ironic vintage store in Brooklyn, where they find all the Ts they need, but the price has been jacked up. What’s the solution? The boys flirt with the very cute shop girl. Rather than rolling her eyes and telling them to fuck off, she goes and talks to her boss and gets them a slight discount. It’s not enough and they go off in a huff. Once he’s outside, Ben feels bad and goes back in and apologizes and invites the babe to a party, thinking more about what’s in his pants than a bunch of stupid shirts. Of course she comes to the party and tells Ben where Beacon’s Closet gets all their shirts for cheap. She even takes him the next morning, her hair all mussy and smelling like stale cigarette smoke and Ben’s cheap sheets. So, by flirting with the shop girl, Ben gets everything he wants. This is a major problem. As I said above, women have been using this trick to get out of parking tickets, better tables at restaurants, into fancy nightclubs, and just about anything else they want from men for all of eternity. Men are such dogs that they are completely powerless to a set of batting eyelashes and a coyly cooed, “Pleeeeeaaaaase?” This is been one of womankind’s most powerful weapons against the all-mighty Patriarchy since ancient times. Thanks to women’s liberation or some sort of Bizarro World time warp, men can finally play this trick too and the feminine seductive supremacy is at an end. Just look at Ben. This girl obviously wants him and he knows it. Rather than being all weird and awkward when an aggressive woman comes on to him, he knows how to maximize this for effect, but he can’t flirt like a woman would. No. For a woman to effectively flirt with a man, she needs to use her attractiveness and sexuality like a sledgehammer. She needs to say “If you do this for me, I will let you get me naked and ravage me.” After she uses her body and her eyes and her scent and the cute way she flips her hair over her shoulder to get her way she has no intention of following through on her declaration. But ripping his shirt asunder and thrusting his crotch toward her is not going to work for a dude, no way. Ben makes all the right moves. He comes dashing back into the store for her, adding a bit of romance to the situation. He invites her to a party, making her feel special and attractive. He makes sure to drop the news about his T-shirt company, lending himself a bit of business acumen and fashion credibility that is going to make his target think that he will be a suitable and stable mate for years to come. And he scores! Not only does he get to spend the night with her, but he also gets her insider info to let him launch his clothing line, the line that he has oh so subtly convinced her she is going to profit from for years to come as it pays her rent, the children’s private school tuition, and the mortgage on their retirement home in one of the nicer suburbs of Boca. Like a woman, he has no intention of keeping these promises (duh, he’s still hung up on the ex!) but he made them to get what he wanted. With a peck on the cheek and a flurry of unanswered texts, she will go off into the nameless Brooklyn masses never to be heard from again. Yes, flirting will get you everything. However, keep it under advisement, as this show taught us before , such tactics will only work if you are a total dreamboat like Bryan Greenberg . Women won’t be wooed in the same way as men, but they’re often just as shallow.

More here:
How to Make It in America Lesson of the Week: Flirting Gets You Everything [Recaps]