Jessica Alba is in a recent issue of InStyle where she’s not doing anything particularly sexy…I mean she’s posing with kids toys, which unless you’re the fucking sexy nanny I am coming home to fuck while my wife is at the hair salon, I’m not entirely interested…cuz eating a pussy that I know a baby was shat out of more than once…kinda makes me fucking sick…the whole alien parasite nesting shit I just can’t wrap my mind around because I’m either autistic or because I don’t want to believe or accept that’s how we are made….but I am willing to accept that Alba still has sex appeal…only more mature…bringing out fantasy of a wife you’d want to break down year after year…ignoring her after she threw away her dreams to be with you and have your family..who doesn’t know she’s this hot….cuz you don’t show her appreciation…and who just constantly seeks your approval not knowing millions of better dudes would treat her like a queen…but her focus, like all girls is micro….and that makes her totally devoted to you cuz you are her everything….leading to better blow jobs…true story.
I think I may be jaded….because I don’t find this picture hot at all…if anything I find it boring and a cheap attempt for a movie that has been all about cheap attempts to get noticed…from hiring a paparazzi to be on set to leak every bikini pic…to putting out various posters as reminders….to casting Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens to be the bikini asses in the shit…even if their bikini bodies are average at best….making the whole thing already played out but cuffed girls bending over…even if you’ve seen it before….are never really a waste of time….so I should stop hating and start staring even if the only one that’s fun is the one grabbing her ass while the others have their hands in the way….
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go, eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Selena Gomez wins! Man, I can’t wait to see this movie.
Somebody is having the worst week ever… Justin Bieber Being Sued For Allegedly Assaulting His Former Bodyguard Justin Bieber might just be having the worst 2013 ever…..and we’re not even two weeks in to the year. First photos surfaced last week of the Biebs piff-puffin’ with his friends….then his off-again boo-thang Selena Gomez kicked him to the curb for good ….and now a former bodyguard is slamming him with a lawsuit to the tune of $400K+. via TMZ Justin Bieber beat the crap out of one of his Israeli bodyguards … and berated the former soldier after a disagreement … this according to a new lawsuit. Biebs — who’s 5’7″ and MAYBE 130 lbs — is being sued by Moshe Benabou, an ex-member of the Israeli army. According to Benabou — who claims he worked for the singer from March 2011 to Oct. 2012 — JB berated him and punched him in the chest multiple times during a disagreement about how to handle a member of Bieber’s entourage. Benabou is seeking unspecified damages for assault and battery — and more than $420,000 in unpaid overtime. But sources in Bieber’s camp tell TMZ … Moshe is nothing more than a “disgruntled employee looking for money.” They say the claim that Bieber struck him is “absurd.” As for why Moshe was fired, our sources say he told multiple lies including a big one — that he had worked closely with Justin Timberlake before being hired by Bieber. Our sources say it was discovered that he never worked for JT a day in his life. You may recall, Benabou was the guy who got into a physical confrontation with a photog at LAX back in February. After a brief struggle, both men fell to the ground … and Benabou landed a pretty solid punch while the pap was being restrained by another person. Daaayyyuum. Guess all that time with the money team must have gone to his head….
Forget all those “most anticipated movies of 2013” lists — there’s only one major motion picture event I can’t wait to get my mind blown by, and that’s Harmony Korine ‘s Spring Breakers . Tween idols on a crime spree, James Franco channeling Riff Raff, the ATL Twins, and love for the pop powerhouse that was ’00s-era Britney Spears … who can resist? Are we not human beings? Today Vulture ‘s got the U.S. poster debut to tease the Spring Breakers marketing wave that’s coming in the next few months, which will have me floating in a fluorescent fever of anticipation until March. Spring Breakers , which stars Ashley Benson , Selena Gomez , Vanessa Hudgens , and Rachel Korine as a foursome of coeds who decide to fund their spring break shenanigans by robbing a fast food restaurant, also reportedly has a release date of March 22 (NY/LA) via A24 Pictures. Mark. Your. Calendars. As for the new U.S. poster, there’s a decidedly more dangerous, leering sensibility here than in the previous Girls Gone Wild -party time materials and sneak peeks we’ve seen; the obscuring ski mask makes it so that you can’t tell which Spring Breaker belongs to that nubile body posing provocatively in a camera flash in the dark, exactly, and how do you feel about that, you perv? To paraphrase Godard: All you need for a movie is a girl in a Day-Glo bikini and a gun. And if you don’t know: “SPRING BREAKERS tells the story of four sexy college girls as they plan to fund their spring break getaway by robbing a fast food joint. But that’s only the beginning… At a motel room rager, fun reaches its legal limit and the girls are arrested and taken to jail. Hungover and clad only in bikinis, the girls appear before a judge but are bailed out unexpectedly by Alien (James Franco), an infamous local thug and amateur rapper who takes them under his wing and leads them on the wildest Spring Break trip in history. `Rough on the outside but with a soft soul on the inside, Alien wins over the hearts and dreams of the young Spring Breakers, and leads them on a Spring Break they never could have imagined.” Head to Vulture for the full high-res poster debut. MORE ON SPRING BREAKERS : Spring Breakers Smacks The Disney (Mostly) Out Of Selena Gomez In Venice WATCH: First Clip From Spring Breakers, Harmony Korine’s Hottie Crime Caper Help Movieline Caption This Picture of James Franco in Cornrows for Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
This week in kiddie kush chronic-les… Friends Of Selena Gomez Say She’s Done With Justin Bieber For Good Not only does blowin’ trees cost you more than a few brain cells here and there, it can also cost you your relationship. And teeny-bopper turned child-of-the-green Justin Bieber seems to be learning that the hard way. via THG With Justin Bieber smoking weed making all the headlines this week, another major development in this singer’s life has practically gone unnoticed: He and Selena Gomez have broken up again. And sources tell Us Weekly this time, the split will stick. Bieber and Gomez cut their vacation short in Puerta Vallarta, Mexico around New Year’s because they had a “huge fight,” an insider tells this tabloid, adding ominously: “Selena won’t forgive him.” It’s unclear what caused the argument, but Selena spent December 31 with friends in Los Angeles, while Bieber rang in 2013 with Lil Twist, reportedly flirting with girls and, as we all know, smoking some pot a couple days later. Welp. Guess Justin will be turning to his sidechick Mary Jane to lift his spirits now…
Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez also expected to release new music next year. By Gil Kaufman Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga Photo: Getty Images
Justin Bieber is bringing sexy back to Instagram. Not long after the artist posted seductive Selena Gomez photos to the photo-sharing service, Bieber has gone ahead and teased followers with a new batch of hot pictures. Of himself! Shirtless! The images were snapped during Justin and Selena’s holiday trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Earlier in the month, the couple spent time in Utah with another young Hollywood tandem, Harry Styles and Taylor Swift . It looks like all is well in the world of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, as well as the world of Beliebers everywhere, thanks to these adorable new topless shots.
MTV News counts down the stories that mattered to you most this year, from 20 to 11. Check back Tuesday for our top 10! By MTV News staff Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber Photo: Craig Barritt/ Getty Images
A frightening new report confirms that Justin Bieber was at the center of an assassination plot last month, one both planned and eventually called off by a convicted killer and rapist named Dana Martin. Serving a pair of life sentences for his crimes, Martin allegedly tasked Las Cruces prison inmate Mark Staake to carry out the awful deed once Staake was released. Sources tell KRQE News that Staake and his nephew, Tanner Ruane, were scheduled to actually kill Bieber and then castrate him with a paisley tie (in the manner Martin committed his murders) in New York City last month. It’s unclear why this evil plan was hatched, but Martin has a tattoo of the singer on his leg and a purpoted obsession with the Biebs. However, for unexplained reasons, Martin told the authorities of the scheme just in time – and Staake was recently arrested (on outstanding warrants) in Vermont. Ruane, meanwhile, did actually arrive in New York, but cops nabbed him before he could carry out his orders. The hired gun, eerily, was found with a pair of pruning shears on his person. Somewhere, Selena Gomez is grateful they were never put to use.
