This couple ain’t isht . When Florida police checked out a child abuse report, they found an emaciated boy lying on the floor inside a locked bathroom at his home, apparently punished for stealing food. The boy was rushed to the hospital where workers said he resembled a concentration camp survivor, and they treated him for malnutrition and dehydration. The 12-year-old boy’s father and his girlfriend have been charged with aggravated child abuse and child neglect. Two other kids at the home have been removed as child welfare officials investigate. According to a police report, the boy – weighing just 40 pounds – was locked in a bathroom, strapped to a bed or caged in a closet for days or weeks at a time over the past year. Brevard County Jail records show 38-year-old Michael Marshall and 48-year-old Sharon Glass have been charged with three counts each of aggravated child abuse and three counts each of child neglect. A judge ordered both be held without bond. It is not immediately clear if they have an attorney. The Titusville Police Department received a report of a young child being unlawfully caged and suffering from abuse, though the report doesn’t spell out whether there was a cage inside the closet. Authorities in Titusville have not returned telephone calls from The Associated Press. Marshall is the father of the 12-year-old boy and a 10-year-old girl. Glass is the mother of the 5 year-old boy. The two other children at the home were being seen by doctors, said Carrie Hoeppner, spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Children and Families. “No doubt that the younger two have been subjected to mental abuse,” Hoeppner said. Marshall also has a 17-year-old son with his ex-wife, Lisa Minshall, 36, who lives in southwestern Ohio. She said her son was still an infant when she and Marshall divorced, and Marshall hasn’t seen him since he was 3. “I kind of feel sick, and I’m kind of happy that that situation didn’t happen to me and my son,” Minshall said. “If I would have stayed around long enough, he probably would have been abusive to his first son.” Marshall was arrested on a criminal domestic violence charge in Ohio in 1995, records showed. It wasn’t immediately clear whether he was convicted. Welfare officials investigated neglect and concerns about the home environment in the summer of 2010. Once the investigation was closed, the boy was taken out of school and went “unnoticed for so long,” Hoeppner said. There were no other reports from the home or contact between welfare officials and the couple. Brevard Public Schools spokeswoman Christine Davis said the boy was removed from the system for homeschooling in August 2010. Records shows the boy was moved to a private school less than two months later, but the name of the private school wasn’t listed. The couple’s home is located in Titusville, about 40 miles east of Orlando on the coast. The town was known as a good place to watch space shuttle launches at Cape Canaveral. Myrtle Wilcox, a neighbor, said she hadn’t seen the boy since November, when he was outside on the front lawn playing with a dog. “The boy looked to be about 8- or 10-years-old,” Wilcox said. She said he was slender but nothing seemed wrong. On Christmas Eve, Wilcox said Marshall had come over to get help jumping a car. He and his girlfriend wanted to go to a store to buy last minute gifts for their children. “Just ordinary people,” Wilcox said. “Going to work and tending to their own business and taking care of their family. That’s the only thing I could assume about them.” What is wrong with people? Who treats a child this way? Like a prisoner? More On Bossip! Underrated Cakes: The Ladies With The Backs You Might’ve Mistakenly Missed Out On! Forbidden Fruit: A List Of Celebrities Who Were Spotted Playing Freaky Kissy Face With Family Members Nicki Minaj Flossin’ Her Cakes In A Pink ‘Kini On The Beaches Of Hawaii For New Music Video Solange Knowles Keeps Her Natural Hair, Vintage, Hippy, Hella Colorful Steez Alive On The Cover Of Time Out New York Magazine
Her name is Maryna Linchuk and I’ve done a a couple of posts on her Titties before …she’s a model…who gets topless for fashion or for photographers…or just in pictures trying to get ahead in the modeling world…showing just how serious and versatile she is….because no one has time for no name models who don’t show their tits….and the whole thing is amazing….you see cuz it reminds us that if you sugar coat something as being art or fashion…people get naked…it’s way easier than trying to convince a bitch to get naked by telling her it’s porn and people everywhere will jerk off to her…even if the results are the same…girls just don’t like being labeled whores…even when they are whores… That said, these are some polaroids she shot with some dude named Paul Rowland…and they have a hot, amateur, snuff film from the 70s feel and I’m into it….to bad there’s not bush….but I’ll live….we’ll all live….we are survivors….and we adapt.
Her name is Maryna Linchuk and I’ve done a a couple of posts on her Titties before …she’s a model…who gets topless for fashion or for photographers…or just in pictures trying to get ahead in the modeling world…showing just how serious and versatile she is….because no one has time for no name models who don’t show their tits….and the whole thing is amazing….you see cuz it reminds us that if you sugar coat something as being art or fashion…people get naked…it’s way easier than trying to convince a bitch to get naked by telling her it’s porn and people everywhere will jerk off to her…even if the results are the same…girls just don’t like being labeled whores…even when they are whores… That said, these are some polaroids she shot with some dude named Paul Rowland…and they have a hot, amateur, snuff film from the 70s feel and I’m into it….to bad there’s not bush….but I’ll live….we’ll all live….we are survivors….and we adapt.
Campaign aims to bring African militia leader Joseph Kony to justice for war crimes and for enlisting children as soldiers. By Gil Kaufman Justin Bieber Photo: MTV News A campaign to stop the nearly 30-year, brutal rule of African militia leader Joseph Kony became a viral sensation this week. “Kony 2012,” started by the group Invisible Children, aims to make Kony’s face so famous that authorities will finally be able to arrest him and try him for his crimes. A 30-minute documentary released on Monday is one of the keys to the campaign, and as of Thursday it had gotten more than 26 million views. The video details the atrocities carried out by Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army. The campaign appears to be working, as at one point on Wednesday, Invisible Children and #stopkony were trending higher on Twitter than Peyton Manning or the new iPad. Since 1987, human rights officials say Kony has forcefully abducted more than 60,000 children to be soldiers in his army and reportedly raped, mutilated and killed civilians in Uganda, the Democratic Republic of Congo and South Sudan and displaced more than 2 million people. The leader is wanted for committing atrocities by the International Criminal Court and is being hunted down by 100 U.S. Special Forces advisers and local troops in four Central African nations, according to the Associated Press. Kony 2012 is an effort to capture Kony and disarm the LRA before a reported window of opportunity closes. One way it plans to do that is by encouraging users to directly message a variety of stars to make use of their Twitter ubiquity to get the word out. Among those listed on the site are: Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Angelina Jolie, Oprah Winfrey, George Clooney, Jay-Z, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Ryan Seacrest and Ellen DeGeneres, along with a number of major policymakers. When users click on the celebs’ photos, a tweet pops up that reads: Help us end #LRA violence. Visit kony2012.com to find out why and how. @timtebow Join us for #KONY2012. Get More on Invisible Children at ACT.MTV.com. Related Artists Justin Bieber Lady Gaga
‘It was such an idiotic thing to have happen,’ Rob Cesternino tells MTV News of the men giving up immunity for a trip to tribal council. By Josh Wigler Bill Posley, of the Manono Tribe in “Survivor: One World” Photo: CBS And just like that, the whole Manono tribe has officially joined the “Survivor” Hall of Shame. After winning immunity in a blowout challenge against Salani and recapturing momentum in the process, the men of Manono flushed their good fortune down the toilet by volunteering to go to tribal council in place of the women. Their reason: to vote out one of their own, Leif, who “betrayed” the tribe’s core alliance by telling stand-up comedian Bill, the unwitting nemesis of newly anointed Manono mastermind Colton, that he was next on the chopping block. After a racially tense tribal council, however, it was Colton who had the last laugh, and Bill — not Leif — was sent packing. Manono’s unanimous decision to exchange immunity for an early trip to tribal council goes down as one of the single-most confounding, moronic moves in “Survivor” history. At least, that’s my take. Good thing we have the smartest player to never win the game, two-time contestant Rob Cesternino , to weigh in with his thoughts on this week’s unprecedented episode of “Survivor.” Keep reading for his take on Manono’s controversial move, Colton’s sudden rise to power and more. MTV : OK, Rob. My head has not stopped spinning since the last 10 minutes of that episode. What was your reaction on seeing Manono’s “plan” go into action? Rob Cesternino : It really was such an idiotic thing to have happen on this show. I’ve seen a lot of dumb things happen in the history of this show, but usually the dumbness is confined to one person making a dumb move. Usually, the groupthink doesn’t invade a whole team of people, which is what happened here. It’s pretty remarkable. It’s a remarkable event that eight people went along with an idea that was so insane. MTV : So, just to clarify: This was not some brilliant outside-the-box thinking that I can’t wrap my head around. This could very well be the single stupidest move in “Survivor” history. Cesternino : Well, I don’t think it’s the single dumbest thing that’s ever happened. I still think that belongs to ice-cream scooper Erik [from “Survivor: Fans versus Favorites,” who was voted out after surrendering his idol to a chief competitor], with Brandon Hantz [from “Survivor: South Pacific,” voted out in similar fashion] being second. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this, though. Is there any sort of strategic advantage to the men’s decision? I really can’t come up with anything. The best I can come up with is that maybe for Colton, he feels that he has the girls in his pocket and he has a bunch of guys he’s working with. “As long as I’m getting rid of somebody who isn’t working with me, better than sending the girls to vote out someone who I have a good relationship with.” But just from the beating that Colton took at tribal council from both Bill and Jeff Probst, it’s not a good thing for his reputation to continue taking a pummeling like that. MTV : Colton has been and continues to be an absurd character. He’s like the homesick camper who cries and cries nonstop the first week, then comes back strong and rules the bunk as a dictator the rest of the summer. How did that happen? What do you think? Are the men following him out of fear? Loyalty? Is it the idol in his pocket? Cesternino : I think there’s some fear there. I think also some of these men are just along for the ride, and that’s not necessarily a bad strategy. Jay, Jonas, Leif, these guys are just sort of more followers. Troyzan and Tarzan feel like more in cahoots with what Colton is doing. Then there are a few who are just outnumbered and are going along with it, not trying to upset the apple cart. Colton does have a very dominating personality. I’m sure there’s some charisma there. Most of the offensive things he’s saying are just to us, the audience. So I’m sure he can be charming. But I’m not sure exactly if it plays out this way every season, but right now, there’s a combustible enough combination out there for Colton to be successful right now. MTV : Everyone on Manono had to agree to make this choice to go to tribal council. If you’re out there, how do you say no? Can you say no? There has to be a way you can say no to that without looking like a jerk, right? It’s such a blatantly boneheaded move — would it really alienate you that much to go against the majority on this one? Cesternino : This is the part that was really insane. “We’re all going to tribal council, but it has to be unanimous!” First of all, they said they’re going to vote Leif off — I don’t know how much that’s a smokescreen to get Bill to vote yes, but that even seems more idiotic. Why do you need a unanimous vote to vote somebody off? Why Bill agreed with it, I’ll never know. But why did Leif agree to this plan? I’ll never know! How much of this was misdirection? Because he only got Bill’s vote at tribal council. If Bill went, “You know, not good. I’m going to vote no on tribal council.” What do they say? “Well, you’re outvoted, and now we’re voting you out.” I don’t know. It didn’t make much sense to me. MTV : I guess part of that might be that Leif seemed to feel genuinely terrible about spilling the beans to Bill, and Bill just seems like a bit of a dummy in the game of “Survivor,” and was once again way too excited to dodge a bullet that was headed directly to his face. If the two people who really needed to object were a) too guilty to say no and b) completely unaware of how much trouble they’re really in, I guess they’d vote yes? Cesternino : I don’t know. Why would Bill want to get rid of that padding? If there’s a person between you going home and someone else going home, that’s an airbag for you. That’s keeping you alive in the game. Why you would want to accelerate getting rid of that person by going to tribal council [voluntarily] — all of this could have played out further into the game. There’s always the chance that politics could change, there could be a switch, a merge. Time is your friend in this game when you’re in that position. MTV : There was some amazingly absurd foreshadowing when you see Leif in the box at the very beginning of the episode, which was just such a ridiculous visual. It portended some doom for this guy. But honestly, I don’t think Leif did anything so egregious to warrant such a turnaround from his tribemates. Clearly he slipped up and that wasn’t smart, but does anything he did warrant the reaction he got last night? Cesternino : No, I thought everything was overblown with Leif. Who cares if Bill knows he’s next to go? It’s not like he has an immunity idol or anything like that. I didn’t think that was such a big deal. I thought Colton’s reaction was over-the-top, but Tarzan’s too. Didn’t it seem like Tarzan was talking to Leif like he was a Chihuahua? “That was bad, Leif! Get in your box, Leif!” [Laughs] I thought that was so over-the-top. And honestly, this was the most we’ve seen of Leif so far, and I really liked Leif. He seems like a nice guy. MTV : Well, there’s more to talk about in this episode, but Manono’s decision is such a lightning rod that it’s hard to focus on anything else. But what do you think: Who, if anyone, is playing the game well right now? Cesternino : I think one of the guys who still looks good is Jonas. Even though he’s going along with bad ideas, he’s not rocking the boat that much. I didn’t like how he negotiated with the women; he came off bad there, negotiating about using their fishing net. He looks easygoing enough to follow along in the aftermath of Colton and continue to advance in the game, though. MTV : And who doesn’t look good? Everybody ? Cesternino : Well, for the women, Alicia continues to get into arguments with people where she doesn’t really have a conflict. She’s continuing to create tension wherever she goes in the game, and that’s not usually a good formula for success. MTV : She was also instrumental in Salani losing immunity. Hypothetically, if things had played out as they should have played out and the women were sent packing to tribal, would Alicia have gone home? Cesternino : Hmm. [ Pauses ] Her name was coming up, but I think Christina would still have been the one to go. Much like Cat versus Nina , the person inside of the alliance, even if they’re deserving of going home, probably stays over the person not in the alliance. Get more of Rob’s thoughts on “Survivor” at his website . What did you think of last night’s episode? Sound off in the comments section or hit me up on Twitter @roundhoward !
I wouldn’t brag were it not Monday morning and it’s the only thing keeping me from walking in front of a bus, so: The final piece of Movieline’s Sundance 2012 Bidding-War puzzle has fallen into place, with director James Ponsoldt’s boozehound relationship drama Smashed going to the estimable Sony Pictures Classics. Five-for-five! High five? Smashed is the last of the year’s projected Sundance darlings to officially find a distribution deal, with The Surrogate , Bachelorette , Arbitrage and Red Lights all spoken for in the month-plus since the festival came and went. Moreover, its showcase for Mary Elizabeth Winstead as a young teacher battling the vicissitudes of alcoholism may yet prove to fall in line with SPC’s recent underdog awards tradition — the one that found Melissa Leo ( Frozen River ) and Jacki Weaver ( Animal Kingdom ) coming out of late-summer platform releases to compete with the mainstream favorites at the Oscars. (A press release sent to Movieline HQ did not specify a release date.) “The role asks Winstead to run the full gamut, from game good-time girl and stimulating teacher to shell-shocked morning-after casualty and adamant survivor,” wrote Hollywood Reporter critic Todd McCarthy from Park City. “She’s terrific at it all, far surpassing the promise she indicated in Death Proof and Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World .” Probably not coincidentally, recently crowned Oscar-winner Octavia Spencer and Breaking Bad Emmy-winner Aaron Paul co-star. Everybody in the awards pool, etc. Or not, just throwing that out there. Either way, congrats to Team Smashed ! Morning hours notwithstanding, surely this calls for a drink? Whatever, I’m having one anyway. Follow S.T. VanAirsdale on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
The show’s latest finalists leave this writer wondering where the Kelly or Carrie will come from. By Gil Kaufman “American Idol” Top 13 contestants Photo: Kevin Winter/ Getty images Dear America, You don’t know me, but I’m the guy who’s been sitting on his couch for several hours each week for nearly 10 years yelling things like, “Are you effing kidding me?,” “Seriously, that guy/girl?” and “Oh, come on, how is it possible that we’re even watching the same show?” I did it because, like you, I was entranced by “American Idol” and the drama of watching potential stars climb their way to the top each week. I held on because I knew the payoff would be that triumphant final night when the confetti falls, Lionel Richie (or Kiss, or some other act your mom loves) sings a duet with a finalist and we get to hear that awful coronation song one more time before it disappears into history’s musical dustbin. But I can’t take it anymore. It’s definitely not me; it’s you. I realize I’ve been pretty judgmental this year, complaining about how “Idol” is showing its age , is blatantly stealing trick from former meanie judge Simon Cowell’s “X Factor” and just generally feels out-of-touch. I’ve been exasperated at the “everyone gets a first-place ribbon!” attitude displayed by the checking-their-watches judges, who are acting like they’re coaches at a first-grade soccer tournament and not the nation’s ratings-giant (for now) singing talent program. But after watching Thursday night’s results show , there is no one left to blame but you. What are you thinking? I get that it’s always fun to put a few ringers into the mix to make things interesting. Who didn’t enjoy the weekly yuks provided by Sanjaya? But this cast is one of the most laughable in the show’s history. And not in the good way. Yes, you passed on toothy other-other-other blonde Baylie Brown; other-other country singer Chelsea Sorell; forgettable “hot” one Chase Likens; maniacal musical Tom Cruise Reed Grimm; annoying, tear-stained Adam Brock; and “street artist” Creighton Fraker, who I was convinced was punking the show anyway. But for god’s sake, you said yes to “funny” man Heejun Han and “Idol” Lazarus Jermaine Jones? And Jimmy Iovine — c’mon, man, you’re one of the most respected men in music! You’re honestly telling me you would make an album with Jones “right now”? I can’t imagine listening to him even one more time, not to mention for 55 minutes. I defy you to find any contemporary artist on the planet who is putting up numbers groaning in that kind of death-howl baritone. And Han? I could throw a pebble in an empty karaoke bar and hit 15 drunken frat boys with more talent. I’m sure Iovine has a way better sound system on his TV at home, but no Beats by Dre subwoofer known to man explains how he believes that foot-stomping, face-making, Dave Matthews impersonator Phillip Phillips is one of the most original voices of our time. I’ve met Matthews, and he’s a very sweet, mellow guy, and even I suspect he’s chilling somewhere going, “Really?” America, I stopped being mad that you’ve failed to vote a female winner into the mix since season six. I can’t totally hate on you for the female finalists, though I continue to be mystified by your embrace of gangly teen Shannon Magrane, who strikes me as average at best. At a time when “Factor” crowned a legitimately powerful soul diva in winner Melanie Amaro and showcased a fascinating redemption story in rapper/crooner Chris Rene, contemporary R&B singer Marcus Canty, white blues man Josh Krajcik, high school cutie Rachel Crow and buzzed-about teen rapper Astro, “Idol” is offering up a warmed-over plate of potential winners whose commercial prospects feel limited at best. I’m not a TV producer, but even I thought the judges missed a potential opportunity to at least create some great reality-show drama when they passed on Brielle Von Hugel and her tenacious stage mom. Yes, Brielle, who, like a boxer, speaks of herself in the third person, is a decent singer at best. But I am willing to put a year’s salary on the line if curly crooner and wild-card survivor DeAndre Brackensick has even an iota of the success the judges and Jimmy said he did — outside of being a hair model or a joke appearance on “The Simpsons” in a Sideshow Bob gag. It’s ironic that the shiny, happy panel saved one of their only negative assessments so far this year for Von Hugel, the one person who could put some “show” into their business. Frankly, the only contestants in the mix I think are even halfway relevant are emo-ish Colton Dixon, soul man Joshua Ledet and power belter Elise Testone. Among those, only Dixon looks or sounds like someone a record label could legitimately turn into a star, and I have a sinking feeling you’ll boot him well before May. Lopez told “Access Hollywood” that she thinks this season’s finalists are “even stronger than last year.” In my world, that is somewhere below faint praise and just north of wishful thinking. I like to see and hear a variety of sounds — hip-hop, blues, rock, etc. — and see a diverse top 13. While you clearly pine for a bumper crop of blondes who sound like county fair stage-fillers and Adele-abees and generic male crooners or “quirky” vocalists who are kinda like, but no better, than the established stars they grew up imitating in their bedrooms. Conventional wisdom has it that, as a show ages, so does its audience. So, I dunno, America, maybe we just want different things. You love theme shows like next week’s Stevie Wonder tribute, while I’m more interested in hearing the contestants sing the songs of today (though not the same one twice in one show) and edgier, more relatable acts that can break the drought of platinum-selling “Idol” winners. Think about it. Until last year’s winner Scotty McCreery, only three “Idol” winners’ debuts had hit the #1 spot on the Billboard 200, and those were from season-one winner Kelly Clarkson, season two’s Ruben Studdard and season four’s Carrie Underwood. I call that a serious rut and you’re in it, and at this point you can’t blame the judges anymore. You voted for these folks, and since I don’t see another Carrie or Kelly in this mix, the best I can hope for at this point is that you prove me wrong. Get your “Idol” fix on MTV News’ “American Idol” page , where you’ll find all the latest news, interviews and opinions. Related Photos ‘American Idol’ Season 11 Top 13 Contestants
In a tragic and shocking turn of events, a school shooting in Chardon, Ohio, has left two people dead, the Cuyahoga County Medical Examiner’s office said. Student Daniel Parmertor died on Monday. Russell King Jr., 17, was declared brain dead early Tuesday, according to the medical examiner’s office today. He was shot at Chardon High School on Monday. Three other students were wounded in the shooting, conducted by a teenager who has been arrested. Authorities have yet to release the alleged shooter’s name, but it has been widely reported and circulated in the aftermath of the double homicide. Ohio School Shooting Many students, some of whom said they were steps away from the suspect when the bullets flew, described the shooter as a withdrawn boy named T.J. Lane. The suspect was scheduled to make an initial court appearance at 3:30 p.m. Authorities have not released the charges he may face in the Ohio shooting. It was also unclear if the public or media would be allowed in the courtroom at all. Many juvenile hearings are closed, and Lane, if he is the suspect, is a minor. Lawyer Bob Farinacci, speaking for Lane’s family, said late Monday night that the boy, a 17-year-old high school sophomore, was “extremely remorseful.” “Very, very scared and extremely remorseful,” he told CNN affiliate WKYC. “He is a very confused young man right now,” Farinacci added. “He’s very confused. He is very upset. He’s very distraught. This is a very scary circumstance.” “I don’t think he could’ve possibly foreseen himself in the middle of [this].” Thousands of people posted on Facebook and other sotes pledging to wear red – Chardon’s school color – on Tuesday in support of the victims and survivors. “RIP Danny. Such a beautiful life cut way too short. You will never be forgotten,” one poster to Parmentor’s memorial page. “My heart aches for your family.” The victims were students who attended Lake Academy Alternative School, a nearby vocational school, and were waiting for a bus to take them there. Lane himself is a student at the school for at-risk children.
Bruce Beresford-Redman, the former Survivor producer accused of killing his wife in Mexico two years ago, is speaking out for the first time and proclaiming his innocence. “Everyone seems to have decided that I killed my wife,” he tells 48 Hours Mystery in an episode airing Saturday at 10 p.m. “I didn’t kill my wife – I really didn’t.” In April 2010, the body of Monica Beresford-Redman turned up naked and beaten in a sewer near a resort in Cancun where she was vacationing with Bruce and their two children. Beresford-Redman, who was extradited to Mexico this month for the crime, was arrested soon after authorities found the corpse and witnesses at the hotel said they overheard the couple arguing earlier in the night. “For anyone who really believes… that you’re innocent until you’re proven guilty, please take a look at the evidence. Or in this case, the absolute complete lack of evidence,” says Beresford-Redman, adding: “I doubt that there will ever be a satisfying resolution for this because the evidence is gone. Even if I do manage to get off, I don’t know if Monica’s killers will ever really be caught.”
‘There’s nothing that the women are getting right at this point,’ former ‘Survivor’ player Rob Cesternino says of the dysfunctional Salani tribe. By Josh Wigler Chelsea Meissner in the second episode of “Survivor: One World” Photo: Monty Brinton/CBS It’s a battle of the sexes on “Survivor: One World,” but over at the women’s camp, the conflict is no longer divided along gender lines alone. On this week’s “Survivor,” the women of the Salani tribe lost both the new do-it-yourself reward challenge as well as the crucial immunity challenge, which required navigating a giant balance beam with multiple human obstacles in the way. Was it a complicated challenge, or simply one that wasn’t conducive to the “assets” that Salani brings to the table? The question is open to interpretation, but the result is not: The men of Manono dominated once again, leaving the women to vote out 51-year-old former Los Angeles police officer Nina Acosta, who is technically the first person voted out of the game following last week’s “Survivor” history-making medical evacuation . Is it too late for the dysfunctional Salani tribe to pull it together? Did the team make the right choice in voting out Nina, a stronger player on the outside of an alliance, over 22-year-old Kat Edorsson, a weaker competitor than Nina but potentially more loyal to the women of Salani? MTV News tackles these questions and more alongside longtime “Survivor” commentator and two-time player Rob Cesternino , regularly described as “the smartest player to never win the game.” MTV : Man, Salani just does not have it together, Rob. They’ve lost three challenges in a row. They’ve already lost a teammate to a medical evacuation. They just voted another one out. It’s a tribe divided into two alliances, but you can barely even say that, because the people in these alliances don’t even want to be in alliances with each other. It’s a mess of a situation. Is there anything that they are getting right? Rob Cesternino : There is nothing that the women are getting right at this point. This is not exactly a strong start. [ Laughs ] Things don’t look good for their tribe. But this is the game of “Survivor,” and things could always turn around on them. Things are always worse than they appear after losing basically two challenges and having one of their players get medically evacuated. They could always come back and win a bunch of challenges. Unlikely, but still very possible. MTV : Going into Tribal Council, [producers] did their best to make you think that Kat might get voted out, but you really had to figure it was Nina going home. There are arguments for getting rid of each of them. With Nina, she’s on the outside — she’s not part of the numbers of the tribe’s core alliance, where Kat is. But on paper, Nina may be more valuable to this tribe than Kat in both the challenge and life-experience departments. What do you think? Did Salani get it right? Was the right person sent home? Cesternino : Whether they got it right or they got it wrong, the history of “Survivor” is always that when an alliance is faced with voting out a stronger member of the tribe who is not in their alliance, or the weaker tribe mate who is in their alliance, I think 99 percent of the time they’ll vote out the stronger person who isn’t in the alliance. That’s just the way it goes. You want to keep the numbers on your side. They could have kept Nina and kept their numerical advantage, but Survivors always keep the loyal person. It never goes the other way. MTV : It’s also hard to judge based on one challenge. Kat did not do well in that challenge, but who knows how she’ll do tomorrow? Cesternino : And it’s not so much that Kat is weak. It’s more that Kat is dumb. [ Laughs ] Her intelligence may not be as much of a factor in future challenges. Strength-wise, she’s probably on par with Nina. But on a common-sense level, she’s flatlined. I don’t know what Kat was thinking [during the immunity challenge]. She compared herself to [“Survivor: Nicaragua” winner] Fabio before the game began, and she’s perfectly playing that game. She’s not a threat, she’s well liked, she’s fun around camp. … It’s the kind of thing where nobody will ever suspect her. They’ll keep her around. But who’s to say she won’t win in the end? You reach a point with “Survivor” that you’re so not a threat that you are a threat. She’s exactly that. MTV : While we’re talking about Kat, it seems like a good time to bring up the immunity challenge she helped to bungle. We had only seen one challenge this season prior to this week’s episode, but that challenge was so hardcore that a contestant broke their arm in multiple places and was forced out of the game early. This week’s challenge wasn’t easy either. The women’s tribe had an impossible time getting started, but even the men had some trouble. Cesternino : In these men-versus-women seasons, production likes to throw out balance beams as the great equalizer. Though in the case of the challenge this week, it didn’t play out that way. While the men were able to get across the balance beam and take their time, I think that because of the, ah, “surgical enhancements” of several of the female players, there were just some turns that were not physically possible. [ Laughs ] I don’t know if production really thought that through when they tested the challenge. I don’t think they had any testers wearing size-F sports bras. MTV : Let’s talk about the do-it-yourself reward challenge. It’s not the first DIY challenge we’ve seen on “Survivor,” but we already know that “One World” is going to feature a whole lot more of these. You know, I really enjoy the “One World” twist, and I like the men-versus-women angle, but the jury’s out for me on these DIY challenges. What did you think? Cesternino : I have a feeling that (host) Jeff Probst’s agent was recording these do-it-yourself challenges to plan for Jeff’s next contract negotiation. [ Laughs ] Honestly, I don’t know that the Survivors hosting their very own challenge is really working for me. I understand that Jeff might need a day off, but get a Jeff Probst understudy to host the challenge. I’m not saying Jeff can’t have a day off, but the challenge needs a host. Just some guy. Get Smiley off the street. Even if it’s a disembodied voice narrating the challenges! [ Laughs ] I was just very confused watching a challenge without someone yelling, “Women! Looking good!” or “Women! Having all sorts of problems!” [ Laughs ] I can’t image after one DIY challenge that anyone’s feeling too good about this, but let’s give “Survivor” the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they can tweak this going forward. MTV : The Colton Chronicles continue this week. Colton is a man without a country: He doesn’t feel comfortable with the guys at Manono, he feels comfortable with the women at Salani, but they don’t feel comfortable with him. Colton breaks down a bit in this episode, but by the end, he’s developed an alliance with others on his tribe by showing them his secret immunity idol. You were down on Colton last week , Rob, but how do you feel about him after this week? Cesternino : I think Colton is still a hot mess. [ Laughs ] I don’t know what he’s doing. He’s completely spinning out. All the men are pissed at him, all the women are pissed at him. The only thing he has going for him is that hidden immunity idol. I don’t normally agree with players showing the hidden idol to everybody, but it seemed to turn the tides for Colton a little bit. He’s got this misfit alliance that he’s put together. I like that he’s finally associating with some of the men — he’s plotting within his tribe. It’s a step in the right direction. That being said, at the challenge, when he was complaining about Leif… he doesn’t like Leif! That’s a core member of his misfits alliance! I don’t know about Colton. But maybe he’s hit rock bottom, and he’s going in the right direction now. A touch of the crybabyitis, though. Episode two tends to be the breakdown episode for people. MTV : Once again, like last week, let’s end by looking at who’s playing the game right. Who do you like out there after two episodes? Cesternino : We didn’t see much of the men this week outside of Colton. But the women’s alliance, even though Sabrina calls herself the winner, it seems like the tandem of Kimberly and Chelsea are calling the shots. I really like that dynamic: They aren’t the people who identify themselves as leaders of the tribe, but a powerful two-person alliance where you can trust the other person … that’s the best possible scenario to be in on “Survivor.” I think Kimberly and Chelsea have that. As long as they don’t get separated by some shuffling of the deck, I think that those two could go very far in this game. What did you think of “Survivor” this week? Tell us in the comments or hit me up on Twitter @roundhoward!
