Tag Archives: tea-party

The Tea Party & The Circus

The folks from New Left Media take to the capitol building to interview the tea party mob one last time about the impending health care reform bill. Oh yeah, the circus was in town too. Awesome timing tea-baggers. The Best Links: Via Cynical-C Watch

Six Other Beverage-Based Political Parties That Should Exist [Listicle]

Have you heard about this Coffee Party? It’s basically a Facebook page , but has been somehow featured in the Times and the Post . The party stands for “cooperation in government.” Whatever! Here are six other beverage-based parties that should exist. The Long Island Iced Tea Party Slogan: “Throw off the shackles of the Federal government… but chill out first, K?” Key Issues: fighting taxes in an affable manner; genially advancing Obama conspiracy theories; abolishing the government… and having fun while doing it! Mission Statement: Like the Tea Party, the Iced Tea Party is born from a mixture of populist anger, xenophobia and anti-government sentiment. Unlike the Tea Party, these angry white people want to enjoy their time raging against the Feds. Weekly meetings are organized in local TGI Fridays, where Long Island Iced Tea party members gather round oversized margaritas and take turns at an Obama pinata in the special party room. The Monster Energy Drink Party Slogan: “Go America! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!” Key Issues: Energy; Transportation; Communications; Go! Go! Go! Mission Statement: Many Americans complain that our hyperconnected, hypermediated world is drowning our ability to think critically in a flood of information. These Americans’ brains are not sufficiently augmented with the correct mixture of caffeine, sugar, anti-oxidants and bull hormones. Through improvements in infrastructure and investments in high technology, The Monster Energy Drink Party secure our right not only to browse the Internet on an airplane, but to shoot, edit and upload your latest video blog entry while piloting a personal jet-pack. Weekly meetings held remotely, as many Monster Energy Drink Party members will be trapped at the bottom a manhole they fell into while texting and walking at the same time. The Chocolate Milk Party Slogan: “Chocolate and milk are better together” Key Issues: Race-relations; affirmative action; the achievement gap; prejudice Mission Statement: Like a gay-straight alliance except between black and white people! Together, this bi-racial mob will sweep the country, striking down racism of all types and fostering improved race relations via distributing Sapphire books to whites and Mad Men box sets to blacks. Meetings will be held weekly over a beer on the White House’s South Lawn. Asians, Latinos and “others” welcome. The Whiskey Party Slogan: “Our Country is Fucked up—You should be too.” Key Issues: Legalized gambling; legalized prostitution; legalized marijuana; legalized everything; abolishing the speed limit. Mission Statement: With so much of America gone to shit, we need a strong voice supporting the right of citizens to drink/fuck/smoke their pain away. Rising like a great cloud of hash smoke to blanket the land, the Whiskey Party will be found wherever a laid-off steelworker is slumped over his seventh beer in a bar; wherever a divorcee chokes her loneliness in a massive bong hit; wherever a man trades a woman $40 in food stamps to step on his back in stilettos; the Whiskey Party will be there. The Rubbing Alcohol Party Slogan: “The Whiskey Party is a bunch of rich snobs.” Key Issues: Same as the Whiskey Party, but a lot gnarlier. Mission Statement: BLAAAAAARRGGGHHH The Cherry Coke Party Slogan: “Why the hell doesn’t every store in America carry Cherry Coke?” Key Issues: Ensuring the security and efficiency of America’s Cherry Coke supply Mission Statement: Cherry Coke is the most underrated soft drink. We must pass a constitutional amendment which requires every store and restaurant in the land that carries Coke products to carry Cherry Coke as well. Seriously, America, when are you going to realize this is a civil rights issue?

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Six Other Beverage-Based Political Parties That Should Exist [Listicle]

No More Surveys About Sarah Palin Please

A survey has revealed that the majority of Americans think Sarah Palin is unqualified to be president . This survey wildly misses the point of Sarah Palin, and the tea party movement she inspires – both are ideological, not political. You may have noticed that Palin can do whatever she likes. She can evade taxes, lie outright, stand next to animals being slaughtered, display stupendous ignorance and inexperience, and still her followers bay for her. This mystifies journalists and pundits, so they commission surveys about it. The mistake they (we) make is to try and apply normal standards of debate to the far right-wing. The movement they most resemble is not the Boston Tea Party, which had a clear political and economic agenda. It is the extreme ideological groups they profess to dislike the most — Islamic extremists and the far left. It may seem like an overblown comparison. After all the Taliban oppressed, tortured and killed millions in a war-torn nation. And Palin is, for all of the vitriol she generates, no Stalin. But here are the similarities: They all arise in times of trouble: economic and social turmoil is, almost by definition, confusing and difficult. People seek clarity. Extremism is a form of clarity. They all value ideological purity over intellect or skill: Mullah Omar, the one-eyed leader of the Taliban when they came to power in the 1990s, had never left Afghanistan and had read almost nothing but the Koran. No one cared. He rode to power on a wave of national discontent that sought single-mindedness after years of confusion. They all share a feeling of oppression: Palin used the word revolution when addressing the tea party conference in Nashville — there is the sense that tea-partyers and Palinites feel they are rising up against a government that doesn’t know, or care, what they think. Communism spread, in similar but far more extreme circumstances, on the back of the Russian revolution. In Afghanistan, in the 1990s, very legitimate and thoughtful governments – like Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and, to an extent, the US — began to back the Taliban for reasons of personal expediency. America in 2010 is a moderate and sophisticated democracy, far removed from that war-torn nation, or from post-revolution Russia. But, on a much smaller scale, the Republican party has made a similar deal with the devil. It’s time we admitted that and stopped wasting the time of pollsters and analysts.

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No More Surveys About Sarah Palin Please

Sarah Palin’s Hand Gets Job Done

Filed under: Politix Sarah Palin was back in 10th grade biology class yesterday — using cheat notes on her hand during the Q&A following her speech at the Tea Party Convention in Tennessee. Cheaters never prosper. Thanks to the Huffington Post for the heads up. … Permalink

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Sarah Palin’s Hand Gets Job Done

FOX Caught Manufacturing Tea-Party Rally

Continuing their tradition of journalistic excellence, FOX News is in trouble for essentially manufacturing the entire 9/12 Tea-party protests in Washington D.C. Contribute: Add an image, link, video or comment

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