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Okay…now if this is true…this is far beyond thirsty…it’s just flat out gross. According to TMZ, rumors are swirling that Kenya Moore’s beloved little dog Velvet…
Cassandra Dawn is a nicely tanned exotic looking angel sent from heaven that posted a few pictures of her in a bikini reminding us that our lives fucking suck…because we don’t live in a place where girls are in bikinis and if we do…we are probably not with those girls in a bikini because we can’t spend our days with girls in bikinis, because girls don’t like us…but at the same time her bikini brings us hope of a better tomorrow, because girls like her exist… I was talking to some homeless person the other day, as I do, because they are really understand how the world works in a schizophrenic, even autism way…by throwing away all that convention like paying taxes, and having job, or a house, or food…and I was telling him he should leave Canada homelessness to hit up homelessness in Florida or California, where it is hot and there are bikini babes, and he told me that was his plan when he retired…a story that has nothing to do with Cassandra Dawn in a bikini…but that confused the hell out of me.
You’ve probably seen this already, Rep. Vance McAllister has been in congress for less than 6 months, and he’s already been caught making out with a staffer, despite being married, because the idiot forgot about security cameras…if you’re gonna cheat, do it in a field in the middle of no where, especially if you’re in politics… If you don’t like that, here’s a disabled dude getting robbed… If you don’t like that…here’ the original hipster with his hipster beard…not giving a fuck because giving a fuck is not very hipster… Here’s my kind of girl…totally behaving like a normal person…I think I am in love…. Smokin’ Bed Bugs to Get High…Next level….
Emily Ratajkowski is up to her old tricks…and by tricks I mean…TRICK… You see she got her start as a girl on a Kanye video who had sex with Kanye after the Kanye video who Kanye would ship around to various places to continue to have sex with her…at least that’s what I’ve been told…and she leveraged that into posing nude for a bunch of magazines, because magazines like nude models with awesome tits, they don’t require the models to be tall, hot or talented, just nude and then she booked the blurred lines video, where she was also nude, and shit went viral because of it’s horrible catchiness that every radio show owned by the record companies put on repeat… Then she booked Sports Illustrated, made a lot of money, and the fast paced internet world doesn’t care about her anymore, she’s not hot enough to be interesting, and so she decided to get back to titty modelling, because lets face it, it worked the first time… I’m not a hater, she’s just a horrible, egotistical person.
It’s not those bikini pictures like I’ve been hoping for, but here’s Selena Gomez putting her hotness to good use at something called The Alliance for Children’s Rights annual dinner. Still, I know it’s a good cause and all, but Selena’s looking a little classy for my tastes. I mean, it’s a charity event, not a funeral, right? And nothing would get rich old dudes reaching for their wallets faster than Selena in a pair of Daisy Dukes. So I’m thinking next year, let’s forget the dinner and just hold a bikini car wash instead. You’re welcome in advance. » view all 13 photos Photos: WENN.com
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