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Dear Bossip: We’re Engaged To Be Married, But I Found Him Looking At Gay Websites & He Says He’s Not

Posted on December 19, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I really don’t want to write this because you usually SLAY people whenever they write you, but I have nowhere else to turn. I need help. I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years with a man and am newly engaged. He plays soccer overseas and I am finishing school to get my bachelors degree, so for the most part, our relationship is primarily long distance. We have found a way to make it work despite being apart for 9-10 months out of the year (I often go to visit him and he comes to visit me). Long story short, I caught him looking at gay p0rn. Actually, all sorts of weird p0rn honestly, but what stood out to me the most was the fat girl p0rn and gay p0rn. Specifically: transvestite sex and BDSM transvestite p0rn. WEIRD to say the least. Anyway, I was devastated and confronted him and asked him if he was gay. He of course denied it and said that he was just really freaky (and he is) and said that he watches so much p0rn because he is overseas and does not want to cheat on me. Eventually he just started getting off to any and everything he could find. During our argument, I repeatedly tried to get him to admit to me that he was gay because of course, looking at gay p0rn obviously makes you gay right? Well, he nicely reminded me that I used to be bisexual and asked if I was gay because I still continue to fantasize about/enjoy watching women. Ironically, I don’t feel like I am gay because I realized that that is not the lifestyle I want to live and ultimately I want to be with a man. Although, I am still attracted to women I have not the slightest intention on being with a woman ever again in that way. So, I said no. But, he’s right. It’s the same shoe, different foot. So, eventually I retreated my threats and after some time I forgave him and remained with him. He said he’d stop looking at it if it bothers me, but I wanted him to stop looking at it because it’s wrong, and it’s gay. He tried to make it seem like any sex is sex and just because that is what he watches it doesn’t mean that’s what he wants to do with me (the BDSM or feeder porn) or anyone else of that matter, it’s just freaky to him. But, men don’t just look at tranvestites, black men especially. It doesn’t help my peace of mind that my butt and breasts are huge and he is in absolute awe of my body, but literally only worships my butt! (Go figure). It’s been a year and I’ve often checked his computer and he hasn’t been on those websites since. Well, at least not to my finding. Am I wrong for feeling like this makes him gay and feeling like he will leave me for a man or something crazy like that because I’m a hypocrite!?! However, I fear that when he leaves again, he’ll start looking at it again once he gets bored or even worse decide to experiment during our engagement or worse after we’re married! I mean he clearly fantasizes about being with, a man or at least a transvestite, right? It is because of this that I am hesitant to marry him and obviously cannot stop thinking about his sexuality. I try to be an open book and keep communication open between us, but this topic clearly makes him uncomfortable to talk about. He treats me like a freaking diamond, is extremely romantic and thoughtful, manly, God-fearing, sexy, and very successful. I absolutely adore his family, and he mine and we pray together. He’s everything any woman would want in a man, except I am not sure if he is gay/bi, even though he tries to make it clear  that I am his end all be all. The funny thing is I am so kinky, I could care less if he is bi or previously was as long as his heart is mine and only mine and as long as we enter a monogamous marriage. I don’t want to look back and wish I’d made a different decision, especially if he comes out of the closet on me and embarrasses me later on. We’ve talked about it since, but something is just not right. He wants to marry me soooo badly (so we can finally have kids and live together), but these insecurities are really killing me. I don’t know how to feel, think, or what to do. And, I have not told anyone. I need advice, help. – Concerned About His Sexuality Dear Ms. Concerned About His Sexuality, Girl, there are so many things wrong with your letter, and I’m holding myself back from laying you out!!! You are truly sad. Sad and pitiful. You make lots of accusations, blanket statements, and judgments, but I peeped your game. Ole blankety blank blankety blank so-and-so!!! Holding my tongue. Just holding my tongue. The problem isn’t your man and him watching gay p0rn, the problem lies with you and your insecurities about your own sexuality. The hell you’re going to sit up here and condemn gay people and say being gay is wrong, yet, you’re bi-sexual?!? You sleep with men and women. You have a problem with being gay, so therefore you condemn gays because of your own issues. You are a hot a** mess! You are the worse kind of person. You are the epitome of ‘those’ persons who say they hate and can’t stand gay people, yet, you’re gay and trying to hide behind the façade while throwing stones in a glass house. Well, the glass has shattered! Clean up in aisle 3!!! And, you’re lying to your man and yourself when you say that you will never do it again, but, yet by your own admission you said that you fantasize and are still attracted to women. DO NOT PUT OFF YOUR ISSUES ONTO SOMEONE ELSE. You are the damn problem! You can’t accept who you are, and you have a problem with your own sexual identity. And, because you don’t want to be gay, bi-sexual, or whatever the hell you’re trying to fight, you’re trying to make him the bad guy. Girl, miss me! Ole trifling a**! But, I am a firm believer that you attract that which you are. So, how does it feel knowing your man is watching transvestite p0rn, and getting off to it? Yeah, you’re worried about him, but what are his thoughts and views about you and your sexual identity? Have you addressed that? Obviously not because he threw it up in your face when you tried to throw stones and accuse him. So, for him to throw back leads me to believe that he has, is, and probably thinks you’ll want to be with a woman at some point. So, what is he supposed to do with his feels and thoughts? You are truly selfish, trifling, and so many other things. You’re obsessing over the possibility of your man being gay, yet, you’re gay and trying to fight your urges and deny who you are. YOU ARE GAY YOURSELF, MA’AM!! And, before you two get married, I strongly suggest that you two go to marriage counseling, and you need to be in personal counseling to deal with your own personal issues around your sexuality. To sit up here and say you’re bi-sexual, but you’re not interested in that lifestyle, and you feel you’re not gay and that you prefer to be with men. HUH? What? Being LGBT is not a lifestyle. It’s who you are!!! It’s not an option on an application form that you check. Chile, you folks with these issues about your sexuality are truly not going to do me today. For the record, rich is a lifestyle. Hip Hop is a lifestyle. Being LGBT is not a lifestyle! Ugh!! But, hold up, at the end of your letter you write, “The funny thing is I am so kinky, I could care less if he is bi or previously was as long as his heart is mine and only mine and as long as we enter a monogamous marriage.” What the hell!?! So, if you don’t care if he is bi-sexual, then why did you write the letter? Marry him and go be happy in your own damn warped shaped dark bubble. Oh, but, I get it. You think he will eventually one day go out and be with a man. He will not feel satisfied in the relationship with you, and he will go fulfill his desires and needs with a man. Actually, it’s the thoughts that you have about your own damn self that you are projecting onto him. You’re the one who actually feels that your desires and needs to be with a woman will come surging back, and you’ll step out on him. You’re the one who is having thoughts about him not satisfying you, and you will need to be with a woman to make you feel good. Because you’re in denial about your sexuality you feel he is denial about his. I get it. Be honest with yourself, and then you can be honest with him. But, your lies will be the downfall to your marriage. Trust me. Keep lying to yourself, to him, and to everyone else, but one day you will have to face the truth. Wake your a** up! This is why you need to be in therapy to deal with your issues and your sexuality. Free your mind and the rest will follow. You’re dragging him into your insecure and unstable a** life. Your life is not together, but you want to marry someone else to make you feel better about yourself. You’re questioning your sexual identity, and in denial about who you are, so you figure marrying him will make you not desire women any longer. LMBAO! Girl, I can’t! And, now that you’ve caught him watching some gay p0rn, you can’t handle the heat in the kitchen. Let me wrap this up because you’re not going to have me caught up in your trick bag. Does your man watching gay p0rn make him gay and want to eventually go out and try it? Possibly. Who knows. But, I don’t know any straight men who purposely sit down to watch gay p0rn no matter how freaky they are. No matter how much they want to get off, and how freaky they may be, there are thousands upon thousands of freaky a** videos and naughty sites that will fulfill his desires to get off. And, I’m sure many straight men have vivid imaginations whereas it won’t take much for them to get themselves off. Therefore, him purposely watching gay men, and in particular transvestite BDSM could be a fetish or desire he may have. Whatever it is, you won’t know what he’s doing because 9-10 months out of the year you’re not together. And, you can monitor and snoop through his computer all you want, but you can’t monitor his d**k. BOOM! BAM! POW! I just hope he’s strapping up before he gets it in. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!     

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Dear Bossip: We’re Engaged To Be Married, But I Found Him Looking At Gay Websites & He Says He’s Not

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Dear Bossip: I’m Seeing Two Men & Exploring The Freak In Me, Is It Wrong To Continue Dating Both Of Them?

Posted on December 6, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , First, let me tell you that I love your column. You give the realest advice and I get the feeling you genuinely care about each individual you receive letters from. With that being said I think that I’ve lost my mind. My son’s dad and I broke up a couple of years ago due to infidelity on his part. A couple years go by and I’ve decided that I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. I prefer to just have sex and utilize my “block” app after, so no further contact will happen. The problem is I have met two guys maybe 3 months apart from each other. The first guy is really sweet and he gives me whatever I ask for and the sex is just okay. We’re both into the same type of things sexually and I like that. The second guy is someone who is nice but he is adamant that he’s not into “tricking” (this is his word) and refuses to do anything for me and sex with him is HORRIBLE, but he really is a good guy. Now please understand that I’ve always been in very long relationships and never really got the chance to explore the “hoe in me” side and I use protection every time by the way. I guess my question is that because I’m seeing two guys who don’t know about each other and they both want to be with me, is it wrong to continue to date both of them? I rarely have sex with either so I don’t think there’s a call on the play. Mind you, I’ve told both of these men that I do not want to be in anything serious. Your fan forever. – Feeling Kind of Hoe-Ish Dear Ms. Feeling Kind of Hoe-Ish , LOL! Girl, I love you!! You better do you and explore your inner-hoe! And, I love that you use the “block” app so when you’re done, you’re done. Ba-by! I am a big advocate of “block” and “delete.” Hell, for those I don’t want to be bothered with I even put “DNA” next to their name – DO NOT ANSWER. LOL! And, please don’t apologize for knowing what you want, and for doing you! Hell, there are more people who need to be honest with themselves and tell themselves the truth as opposed to fooling and tricking people into relationships, and then hurt others along the way. Chile, don’t get caught up in that. So, I’m saying, get your freak on, enjoy yourself, and date. That is what dating is all about. It’s exploring and meeting new and different people. You’re dating.  You go out, get to know one another, and if you choose to then you engage in sex. You’re not committed to anyone, and you are enjoying yourself and spending time with people and getting to know them. And, there is nothing wrong with have sex, just as long as you keep using protection so that you won’t end up with another baby daddy, or some sexually transmitted disease. However, I am a firm believer in being honest with folks up front. Let them know, “I am not interested in a relationship. But, I am dating, and I am seeing other people. We are not exclusive. I do enjoy your company, and I enjoy spending time with you. I hope you can handle that, and who knows what the future holds. Perhaps there can be something more. But, in the meantime, I am dating, and getting to know you, just as you’re getting to know me.” You see how easy and simple that is? You see how saying this will save you a world of headaches? Because if you’re not honest and truthful with people upfront and they learn or discover that you are seeing other people, then they will feel mislead and deceived by your actions. Therefore, be honest and let the men you’re seeing know that you are dating. You don’t have to go into details about who you are dating, and discussing them about each other to each other. You’re dating. And, continue to be honest and letting know them that you’re not looking for a relationship at this time. Be honest. Be truthful. Hell, the man who told you that he wasn’t into “tricking” was honest with you. He let you know that he refuses to spend any money on you, but yet he wants to lay up with you. And, the sex is horrible. Chile, puhlease! Yeah, all you need to be doing with him is dating him. Tell him he needs to get his sex game up, and then he can use the disclaimer that he is not into “tricking.” Listen, girl, you’re free. You know what you want. And, you’re taking the necessary precautions on protecting yourself during sex. Girl, be the hoe! Hoe in the morning, noon, and evening. And, don’t let anyone’s judgment or opinion of you affect you. Until they are paying your bills, feeding you, and willing taking care of you and your child, then girl DO YOU!  And, to answer your question if it’s wrong to continue dating both of them? Uhm, no it’s not. You’re dating. And, you already told them that you are not looking for anything serious. Now, hang from the rafters, and continue exploring the hoe in you. We all got a little hoe in us. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!      

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Dear Bossip: I’m Seeing Two Men & Exploring The Freak In Me, Is It Wrong To Continue Dating Both Of Them?

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In Shady Azz White Folks News: Lindsay Blohan Catches A Charge For Lying To Cops About Driving In Car Accident

Posted on November 6, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Lindsay just can’t get right… Lindsay Lohan Charged With Lying To Police About Car Accident According to TMZ reports : Lindsay Lohan will be charged with the crime of lying to police after her car accident in June on Pacific Coast Highway … TMZ has learned. We broke the story … Lohan told cops she was NOT behind the wheel of her Porsche when it slammed into the back of an 18-wheeler. Fact is she was — according to multiple witnesses. Law enforcement sources tell us … the case will be filed as a misdemeanor by the Santa Monica City Attorney … possibly this week. The charge could spell huge trouble for Lindsay, because she’s currently on probation for the jewelry heist. The criminal filing could trigger a probation violation, and Judge Stephanie Sautner — the jewelry judge — could send her to the slammer for a long, long time. And law enforcement sources tell us … cops found prescription pills in her purse after the crash. Witnesses tell us pills were also scattered in her trunk. Our sources say authorities were prepared to charge LiLo with drug crimes, but Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Holley, gave cops documentations from Lindsay’s doctor, saying the pills were properly prescribed. Authorities then backed off that charge. As for the charge of lying to cops, Lindsay almost dodged that bullet. You may recall, after the accident, Lindsay went to the hospital where she was interviewed by cops, and that’s when she told them she wasn’t behind the wheel. Her lawyer, Shawn Holley, made a mad dash for the hospital to muzzle her client, but she was a few minutes too late. One rule when you are talking to cops, shut the f**k up! SMH Image via WENN

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In Shady Azz White Folks News: Lindsay Blohan Catches A Charge For Lying To Cops About Driving In Car Accident

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Dear Bossip: I Allow My Husband To Sleep With Other Women, But How Do I Explain It To My Friends

Posted on November 6, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear  Bossip , I am happily married to my husband for 6 years. We have an open understanding relationship, i.e. open on his end and understanding on my end. He is allowed to pleasure other women while I listen, watch or on rare occasions join in. We are not swingers or belong to any other lifestyle groups. We are an attractive young couple that enjoy each other sexually, mentally and spiritually where he is an exhibitionist and I am a voyeur. It mostly starts off he meets someone at a club, lounge, bar etc. if he is interested he would text me the situation, including a picture of her or sometimes he would call me and speak with her to let her know that is ok, go ahead and have fun. He does disclose that he is happily married. For me to be understanding my husband and I communicate with each other openly and express our feelings or concerns freely with each other. We do have three HARD rules that should not be broken such as complete honesty, safe sex, and it ends before there is an emotional attachment to the other woman. I have enlightened a few of my girl friends to my sex life and have received major backlash from my girlfriends. They say to me that he does not love me if he has sex with these other women, I don’t love myself enough to say to him that this is crazy, or simply put they just don’t understand why it is ok for him to sleep with other women and for me not to go out and sleep with other men…I have no desire to be with another man. For you see, my husband, he is 6’3” built like a god, smooth caramel goodness all over, with a devilishly charming smile that easily disarms women and he is well endowed. I don’t want to lose my friends. How do I let them know, convince them to accept that I am truly happy and comfortable with my marriage and sex life…they are constantly asking me to go out with them to meet other men…constantly saying negative things about my relationship with my husband. – Exotic Relationship Dear Ms. Exotic Relationship , Uhm, okay, if you like it, I love it. Can’t knock what you and your husband have obviously discussed and agreed upon. And, if your friends don’t understand you and your husband’s arrangement, then guess what? It’s not their business, nor is it their relationship. Why are you concerned or allow yourself to be badgered by your friends? If you don’t care what or how they feel then stop telling them your business, and before they can bring up your husband and your relationship you have the power to shut them and the conversation down. Here’s what you say to them: “Look here boo boo, I don’t tell you how to run your marriage, so I certainly don’t want to hear your comments, thoughts, or concerns about my marriage. And, as a matter of fact, the last time I checked I’m a grown a** woman married to a grown a** man. We are two consenting adults, and I don’t have to explain my situation to you or anyone else. Now, go get you some business and stay the “F” out of mine.”  See how easy that was? See how it just flowed off the lips. LOL! And, no matter what, your friends are not going to stop their negative comments, so you may have to find some new friends. Look, our friends want the best for us. They don’t want to see us get hurt, or be misused or abused because they love us. However, you have to learn how to separate your marriage from your friendship, and if you don’t want to lose them, then set some boundaries. Let them know that the discussion about your marriage is off-limits. It’s not an open discussion, forum, or town hall meeting. But, I do want to know how and why you got married if your husband has the ability to sleep with any woman he wants? Why get married? You could have just remained in a relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend and kept it open. What happens when you have children? How do you explain the situation to them? What if another woman happens to get pregnant? Condoms do break. And, one last question. What is your mental/emotional state of mind? (I’ll wait why you answer those questions. I know they are thought-provoking, and I also know you will have a justifiable answer to each of them. Weak women generally do.) I hope you didn’t think I was going to let you off easy. What the “F” are you thinking!?!? What the hell type of “arrangement” is this bull-ish!?!? And, you talking about you’re not swingers. (*  *) Blank stare at you! You know what, you’re right. You’re not swingers. Swingers mean that both partners are engaged in partner swapping. Your common a** is sitting at home while your husband is out screwing other women, or on rare occasions you watch or join in. Your husband is just an outright hoe with privileges. What color was the Kool-Aid he had you drink before he brought this asinine proposition to you? SMDH! Girl, don’t drink anymore of it. Ole’ Jim Jones smooth-talking pimping a**! Your marriage is supposed to be sanctified and an institution between two people. Explain the other random women he lays with? Explain the interchanging of spirits that occur when your husband lays with other women as he lays with his wife? There is a spiritual bond that occurs during sex. Every time he is with another woman he collects her spiritual energy, and she collects his, and then he comes home to you and dumps her spiritual energy into you. Chile, they may as well call you the Spirit Collector. And, what about bodily fluids that are exchanged?!?! Oh, Ms. Honey, the more I think of this, the more I’m getting sick. Girl, you know what why am I explaining this to your dumbass. Keep doing you. One day you’re going to wake up and find yourself acting like Sybil with eight different personalities. Hell, it was the second personality that wrote me this damn letter. Get off my page before someone else comes through. “Stay away from the light Carol-Anne!” – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!     

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Dear Bossip: I Allow My Husband To Sleep With Other Women, But How Do I Explain It To My Friends

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Dear Bossip: He Broke Up With Me Because He Didn’t Feel Loved & I Wasn’t Affectionate Enough, But I Want Him Back!

Posted on October 11, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , Here is my problem. I was in an incredible relationship for 6 months that went from 0 to 100 quite fast! But, it wasn’t a bad thing. We both were on the same page. He told his family that he found the woman he wanted to marry and I felt the same way. Well, the problem began due to the lack of communication and the differences in our love language. My love language is gift-giving, but the way I receive love is words of affirmation. He was great at doing this. Here comes the problem. Out of nowhere we started to grow apart around the fifth month. He did not express it to me until after we broke up, which was nearly 3 months ago. He felt that I was not showing him the affection he wanted or deserved. He felt under-appreciated and not loved. I was totally blown out of the water because I felt that it could not have been further from the truth. Like, seriously, I love this man still wholeheartedly and unconditionally and will give my all to prove it. Fast forward to recently. Before we broke up we planned a trip to Jamaica to go to our friend’s wedding. He said we can handle this as adults. The chemistry was undeniable and it could not be hidden on the trip. Needless to say, we just clicked again, naturally, as if nothing happened. But, I could tell that he felt guilty about the chemistry and instant connection (Not that he stopped things from happening). So, I asked if he was seeing someone back home, and his response was, “Maybe.” What the heck does that mean? He said he doesn’t know what to call it. Turns out it’s a chick that he works with that has been eyeing since we been together, and she’d been constantly claiming that she can make him happier. Well, I guess she finally got her opportunity. After a phenomenal week, and amazing chemistry, the harsh reality hit me when she picked him up from the airport and jumped into his arms. He was hesitant I assume because I was standing there, but I can see she was happy to show me that she got her chance. My question is: Could she be the rebound chick or could this be more? He openly admitted to missing me and us in Jamaica, but said I hurt him by not showing him the affection he wanted. I told him then why couldn’t we just communicate these things and work on a solution instead of letting the love potentially die? He said he didn’t know. The feelings I felt in Jamaica were not fake. I know love still lives there, but his ego is too big and I believe he is afraid of getting hurt again. How do I right my wrongs? I do not want to give up on such a good man! I love him too much. I did a private boudoir photo shoot and the photographer made him a book and sent it to him. I asked for it back after the trip. He refused and said, “I love it,” and that I made it for him. I said, but I just sent it to you after we were broken up and now you have a new woman. I believe he knows he stills loves me, but don’t’ know if he wants to take the risk. Love is worth all the risks right? You can’t love fully unless you are willing to let go completely. Do you think I am wasting my time or do you think I still have a chance? I asked him was he happy and he said yes. He said she shows affection. I said what about the other eighty percent, love has a ebb and flow. It’s not always good, but it ain’t always bad either. What do I do? I want my man back before it’s too late! I l feel like she had the inside track and used it to her advantage. He was vulnerable and she helped him through it. I’m not blaming her but I want her gone and him back home! Help me! Why are men so full of pride? How do I fix my relationship? – Want Him Back Dear Ms. Want Him Back , Sigh!!! Deep sigh!!! Real deep sigh!!!! Let me do some whoo-sa’s and calm my spirit. Honey, please, for the sake of yourself, and for all of us, stop begging this man to take you back. It’s over. It’s done. He’s moved on. And, I’m for real when I say this, but do you all read your letters back to yourselves, out loud, before you send them in? You answer your own letters! In the very first paragraph you said, “Well, the problem began due to the lack of communication and the differences in our love language. My love language is gift-giving, but the way I receive love is words of affirmation. He was great at doing this.” If he broke up with you because he said you did not show him affection, and he felt under-appreciated and unloved. And, if the way you demonstrate love is through gift giving, and your man wants and needs affection, and he wants to feel appreciated, and he wants to feel loved, then boo boo, you can’t buy those things. Those are emotions and feelings that are done through physical and verbal actions. You can’t buy love! You can’t buy someone! Money and gifts does not equate love. So, why were you floored and shocked that he ended it? This is not rocket science. Your relationship is over because, as you stated, there was a difference in your love language. He wanted one thing, and you wanted another. You got what you wanted. You admitted that when you said that he was great at affirming his love to you. Yet, you didn’t do your part. You didn’t express your love to him the way he wanted. Now, he is with a woman that is doing what you should have been doing from the beginning. He is with another woman who ran and jumped into his arms when he returned from his trip to Jamaica with you. You notice that her act of affection, and attention when he returned, was the very thing he was seeking from you all along. So, let’s answer your other questions: How do you fix your relationship? Ma’am, you don’t have a relationship. The hell! You are truly delusional. He broke up with you. You are no longer together. He is with another woman. There is nothing to fix. Jesus take the wheel! Do I think she is the rebound chick or something more? Who knows, but for right now she is giving him the affection and attention he is seeking. She’s making him happy, and he obviously isn’t interested in dumping her to get back with you. So, what do you think? How do you right the wrongs? Ma’am, you learn from them. You take the lessons, learn from them, and make sure to do better the next time so that you don’t repeat them. Is love worth all the risks? Yes, love is. But, he is not in love with you. You’re in love with him, and in order for it to be reciprocal, and worth the risk, then two people have to be willing to fight for it. He’s moved on. He’s decided that he is better off without you. You’re the one chasing him. You’re the one running after him. He isn’t reaching out to you, or even said to you that he is willing to give it another try. He’s not interested. Do I think you are wasting your time, or if you have a chance? Well, as a betting man, I think you are wasting your time. Your relationship lasted six months, and in the fifth month things began to unravel. It was in the fifth month that you should have sat with your man, talked with him, and made the adjustments so that you can move forward. The two of you should have worked together to get on the same page, and discuss the challenges of the relationship. But, here is my thing: The fact that he is already with the other woman, his co-worker, this says a whole lot. They obviously had been eyeing one another prior to him dating you. I don’t believe that once you started dating that she all of a sudden showed up. This has been an ongoing thing between them. And, yes, she got what she wanted because he was going back to her and talking about his relationship with you. Thus, she listened to what he was complaining about in you, and she became the woman he wanted you to be. (That bish is fierce!) And, that little get together while you were in Jamaica was just that, a little get together. He had sex with you, rekindled with some familiar coochie, and you do notice that when you got back home he went home with her. I’m sure that there were some feelings while you were on an exotic island, and at a wedding so love was in the air, it’s romantic, beautiful, and everything a Hallmark card is made of, but reality set in when it was time to go home. He was reminded of all the reasons of why he broke up with you, and what he had waiting for him when he returned home. Yes, he may have been vulnerable and he really wanted things to work with you, but you didn’t give him what he needed or what he wanted. And, he didn’t think you were, or that you are worth the investment. Girl, please learn from this experience. It’s time to heal your heart, and focus all that energy on yourself instead of trying to get him back. Use that energy to become a better you. Use that energy to love yourself. Don’t chase someone who doesn’t want to be with you, and they are not chasing you in return. Don’t make someone a priority when you are an option for them. Don’t give your all if they are not giving you their all. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!     

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Dear Bossip: He Broke Up With Me Because He Didn’t Feel Loved & I Wasn’t Affectionate Enough, But I Want Him Back!

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Dear Bossip: I’m Bisexual And I’m In Relationship With A Man, But I Prefer Women

Posted on September 5, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I would like to thank you first of all for being so real and for not being afraid to be yourself. I honor what you are doing and wish I had to strength to do it also. I’m a 21-year old female and I have been bisexual for as long as I can remember. It’s a struggle living on the low and not wanting to tell anyone because I feel so ashamed. I do have lesbian friends and we go out and I can really be myself, but having to keep all of my feelings locked up and having to lie is really becoming stressful. I have been in relationships with women before and I must say, during those short times it did last, I have never felt so good about myself, and so in love with any other person. When I was with a woman I wanted to tell my family, and the world, about this wonderful person I had met and fell in love with, but I could not. I couldn’t find the strength to do it. Since my last relationship with a woman I’ve found a man, (“The man”), I think, I would like to spend the rest of my life with. He is not like the other men I have dated. He is so different from what I used to deal with, and I love him so much. He pleases me in every way except for one, and that is sexually. You see, when we make love, I’m thinking of making love to FEMALES. When he’s away and I need to “get one off,” LOL, I think of females. I constantly think about the times I spent with them. I love this man and I never want to hurt him, but I’m so scared to tell him about my true desires. I don’t want him to feel like I don’t want him or that he doesn’t satisfy me, but the truth, Gay Best Friend, is that the urges I have for females, along with the want, desire, and passion that I hold towards women is becoming greater every day. I’m lost and I don’t know what to do. I mean, maybe, it’s because I’m so young and I keep telling myself I’m being greedy, and I can’t have both, and I keep hoping that one day the answer will just fall out of the sky. I doubt it, but, still every day I hope. I have so much on my plate, and me being a down low female is not making things easier. So, if you can guide me in any way, be it a book, website, poem, or anything I would appreciate it GREATLY. Thanks in advance for the advice, and for being so uplifting, and for making a way for those like you and myself. – Young and Struggling Dear Ms. Young and Struggling , You’re hoping the answer will fall from the sky, well, POOF! First, I want to thank you for sending your question. That, in and of itself, was very brave. It shows your strength and courage to find truth and answers. You have to do what makes you happy in your heart and your life. It’s obvious you prefer woman, and it’s an inner turmoil because you want to please not only yourself, but those you love. So, you are continuing to date men, and lo and behold, you find a man you really enjoy being with. Ain’t that something? However, when you are having sex with him you are thinking of women. When he is away you are thinking of women. Well, honey, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it’s a duck. And, girl, you are a lesbian. I hope you didn’t think I was going to let you off the hook. Let me get comfortable. If you are deceiving others, that is not good. The man you are involved with has a right to know. If you don’t disclose your feelings, and he finds out, it will not be pretty. Besides, you are not allowing him any say in the relationship. You are taking that away from him and it’s not fair. What if he chooses to be with you after you tell him your true desires? Then what? Just as I thought, you’re stuck, huh? You stated perhaps you were being greedy. That is very selfish. Everybody wants to have their cake and eat it too. Imagine if someone did the same to you. Imagine if you discovered he was cheating on you. You would feel betrayed. You would be upset. And, you probably wouldn’t think he was “the man” for you. Girl, I understand it’s difficult, and you are struggling within yourself because you don’t want to disappoint your family and friends. You want to make them happy. We all want to please our family and friends because those are the people we love, and they love us. But, what about you? Are you doing what makes you happy?  Are you loving yourself? And, who are you living for? Let me tell you something, and it may take some time, hours, days, months, hell, even years before you get it, but first you’ve got to accept and love yourself. If you love you for who you are and not beat up yourself because of your sexuality, then others will love and accept you. Second, DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU. If they are your friends, your true friends, then they will stick by you and love you just the same because you are still the same lovable laughable personable good friend. Your family will still love you. They will support you and embrace you like they did before. If your friends don’t stick around, then guess what? They were never your true friends from the beginning. True friends will be there regardless. One thing I’ve learned in my long journey and process of accepting me, was loving myself, and being happy with me. I’ve learned you can’t please everybody. Nope. You sure can’t. So, stop trying. And you know who taught me that valuable lesson? My grandmother and aunt. They told me, “Boy, folks hated on Jesus. Look at how they persecuted him for what he did for others. Look how they talked about him. What makes you think folks won’t do it to you.” Ever since then I walked to the beat of my own drum. Well, that which God is drumming. So, Ms. Young and Struggling I am saying to you, “Love you! Damn it.” Stop trying to please everybody. Girl, you are going to run yourself ragged trying to make everyone around you happy. Besides, who’s to say that this guy can’t be a good friend to you? Sit down with him lovingly and tell him your feelings. Explain to him what you’re going through. You stated he is different from all the other guys you have dated, so hopefully he really is, and if he loves you, he will understand. And, thank goodness we are in a new day and age where there is a plethora of information for people who are struggling with their sexuality. You can read any of E. Lynn Harris’s books. His books changed the landscape for many men and women who were unaware of down low men and women in this world. You should also check out author, Laurinda Brown. She is a phenomenal and fabulous lesbian writer. And, I am certain there is a Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgender (LGBT) Center in your area. Many have counselors who will speak with you over the phone, and you can remain anonymous until you are comfortable to share more information. Honey, you are not alone. There are more people in the world like you than you know. You’ve made one courageous step, now take another! – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!     

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Dear Bossip: I’m Bisexual And I’m In Relationship With A Man, But I Prefer Women

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Dear Bossip: I Learned My Husband Had A Baby With Our Former Boss & She’s Three And Half Years Old

Posted on August 29, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip, My husband cheated on me a couple of years ago and as a result he had a daughter with this woman who claims to be our friend. And, she was our Boss at one point. I found out when she served him papers for child support. I was devastated after six years of marriage. I wanted to call it off, but he convinced me that he did not want anything to do with them, and didn’t want to have a life with her only with me, and have a family of our own one day. Since he knew I didn’t want him to have any contact with the woman, but in order to know about his daughter, which looks a lot like him, he stared calling behind my back. I found out after I saw a text from her. We argued and he told me that he wanted to know his daughter and it was killing him inside missing time with her. Finally, I made a decision. I went to talk to this lady in person and told her what my husband wanted and that I was 100% supportive as long as we stay clear of what the purpose is – which is the girl to know and build a relationship with her dad. She said yes to me. We meet and spend time with them. Everything was looking way to good to be true. My husband and I agreed he would only speak to her in front of me, and only about the girl. Unfortunately, things were too good to be true. It turns out this woman requested time alone with my husband, and for him to tell her if he really doesn’t want anything with her. And, if I’m around they were to get a code word so she knows when they are on the phone. He told me he called her from a friend’s cell so I wouldn’t see the numbers if I checked our lines. He claims this is the only way to end whatever doubts this woman has. I’m so frustrated and disappointed at myself and don’t know what to say anymore. I want him to have a nice relationship with his daughter. She is only three and a half now, and I want to be strong to deal with this woman, but not like this again. How can I convince him to see that giving her that time alone or not having calls around me will make her think he still doesn’t respect me or give me my place? How can I put it in words that he can understand last? Note: They don’t have custody together yet – He Needs To Understand Dear. Ms. He Needs To Understand , Uhm, sweetie, you sound like a correctional officer and parole officer. You want to monitor his every move with this woman, who was both your boss at one point, and whom he cheated on you with, and then she bore a child. Girl, I can’t today. But, I’m going to let that marinate in your thick a** skull for a minute. Chile, how the hell are you going to monitor and control their relationship? You are going to sit by the phone as they speak each time she calls? You’re going to ride shotgun in the car when he goes to see his daughter? Girl, please stop. Stop this silly –ish. They are grown a** adults. You want to tell him when he call her, spend time with his daughter, get your permission to do this, and how he can only do all of this in your presence. LMBAO! You sound really silly. Since today is Basic Wednesday, I’m going to give you a Basic Answer. NEWS FLASH: SHE IS GOING TO BE IN YOUR LIFE FOREVER! HE HAS A CHILD WITH THE WOMAN . If you can’t handle this bit of important information and their relationship, then you need to get a divorce ASAP!  The child is three and half years old. You do realize she is still a child. Therefore you’ve got the pre-teen years, teenage years, and her becoming a young woman. Which means that this road is going to get worse and bumpier as you travel on it. If you can’t deal with it now, then get out NOW! But, let’s get something abundantly clear – Your husband cheated on you. Your husband has been deceitful and manipulative and he continues to be deceitful and manipulative. You only found out about the whole hotmess.com after he was served with papers for child support from the woman, your former boss (Let’s make sure you understand that point), and it’s been over three years. Otherwise, he would have never told you. So, his behavior and what he continues to do and show you are a result of who he is. GIRL, WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE BELIEVE THEM!!! All of his actions point in one direction: He’s a liar. He can’t be trusted.  And, then he goes behind your back and conspire with the woman, your former boss, whom he cheated with and bore a child, (I’m going to drive that point home), and they create a code word so they can have secret conversations. And, on top of that he went out of his way to use a friend’s cell phone to call her. Hmmmm, what does that tell you about your husband? Again, I’ll let that marinate in your thick a** skull. You’re so busy trying to be superwoman, correctional officer, and parole officer trying to prove you’re understanding, and willing to get along with all of this drama and ignorant bull-ish that you are failing to miss the entire big picture: HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU OR YOUR MARRIAGE.  It’s time to get yourself some self-esteem. Some respect. Some self-worth. Some backbone. You don’t deserve this from him. You deserve so much more, and until you realize it he is going to keep doing what he is doing and that is playing you and mistreating you. You can be understanding and supportive, but it doesn’t take you being married to him to do this. He violated your marriage, and didn’t even bother to tell you about his love child until only after he was caught. Otherwise, you would have been completely in the dark. And, who’s to say that she is the only woman he’s cheated with. Did you ask him if there were others? And, how long did the affair with your former boss last? That’s some ole trifling and shady a** -ish for this woman to be your friend, and boss, yet, she was sleeping with your man and smiling in your face. SMDH!  Girl, please pull your big girl panties up and bounce up out. They deserve to be together. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t respect your marriage. He doesn’t care what you think or say. He is going to do what he wants to do. So, let that MF run amuck. He’ll learn his lesson, and trust and believe he’ll come running back to you on his hands and knees begging you to take him back. But, hopefully you will have moved on, and found a new man one who respects loves and cherishes you. –  Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!      

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Dear Bossip: I Learned My Husband Had A Baby With Our Former Boss & She’s Three And Half Years Old

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A Journey Through The Life And Legacy Of Nelson Mandela [Photos]

Posted on July 19, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

It’s hard to imagine what state South Africa (and likely the rest of the world) would be in were it not for the harrowing actions of Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela. The 94-year-old is best known for his opposition to apartheid in his home country, which resulted in a 27-year incarceration… Continue

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A Journey Through The Life And Legacy Of Nelson Mandela [Photos]

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Dear Bossip: He Said I Had To Prove Myself To Him Before We Got Married & It’s Been 5 Years

Posted on July 19, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , Let me start by saying that I love your honesty…. Now! I have been seeing someone for 6 years on and off. He tells me that he loves me, but because I had an abortion when we were 21 years old he states, “He cannot trust me.” I do everything for this man and provide him with the three F’S – (FEED, F**k, and help him financially when he needs it.) No! We do not live together, but when we did I took care of the rent since I make more money than him. He says he wants to settle back down and get married but I have to prove myself to him. Well, it has been 5 years since the abortion and I have shown so many signs that I am a good woman. I work, cook, and clean. When I am not around him I know in my heart he is with somebody else. His mother told me that he loves me and talks about me all the time. We also do everything with his family as if we are together. His fear is once I get another title with him that I will revert back to my old ways. But I was young back when we first started dating and I am not the only one that has messed up in the course of our relationship. My question is do you think he is just stringing me along until he finds something better? I’ve met great guys but I did not give them an opportunity because I’ve felt like I owe him because of the abortion.  This is why I am confused I don’t understand why he is making everything so difficult. Yes!! I feel bad for the mistake I made 5 years ago and I’ve spoken to GOD for forgiveness. – Trying To Be His Wife Dear Ms. Trying To Be His Wife , Chile, you have truly fallen and bumped your big a** head! The hell is wrong with you trying to prove yourself to a man!?! And, you’re providing the three F’s and you’re not even married?? And, you make more money than him, and he needs help financially? Chile, I wish I might! You let him fix his mouth to say to you that you have to prove yourself to him before you get married because he doesn’t trust you. And, it’s been five years, and he’s still talking that bull-ish! Girl, please back all the way the hell up from me! Ladies, ladies, ladies you should not be trying to prove any damn thing to any damn body!!! If he can’t take you as you are, and love you for you, and you’re doing everything for him, but he wants to throw up in your face about something you did when you were younger, then kicked that a**hole to the curb and move on with your life. When a man tells you that you have to prove yourself to him then please note that he will never, and has no plans or intentions on marrying you or settling down with you. He will forever hold it against you what you did IN YOUR PAST! But, here’s the kicker, he wants you to forgive him and forget what he did in his past. All the abuse, cheating, lying, deceiving, and manipulating he wants you to just forget about it and let it go, and your simple a**es do it and let him come back only for him to do it again. SMDH! Girl, don’t ever make someone a priority in your life when you clearly are an option in theirs! And, your boyfriend does not love you. If he loved you he would forgive you and move on. If he loved you he wouldn’t be holding what you did in your past over your head. If he loved you he would be doing everything in his power to make sure that you felt his love, and he would marry you and he would be looking to start over and have a family with you. It shouldn’t have taken him five years to decide or figure if he wants to marry you. It does not take five years for him to come to some conclusion that you’re trustworthy and won’t revert back to your old ways. And, what the hell is this mofo talking about “revert back to your old ways.” Are you freaking kidding me??? What about him reverting back to his old ways?? Honey, you are so caught up in trying to prove yourself to him that you are overlooking your instincts which tell you that he is seeing someone else. Stop letting him cloud your judgment and second guess yourself. Stop letting him play on your self-esteem and emotions. He is taking advantage of you and the situation, and he’s got you sitting over their looking like a backwoods Opie with a special helmet on your head. Stop acting and being dumb! It’s not cute or attractive. Until you get a backbone, and put on your big girl panties and confront him like a woman he will keep playing you like the little girl you’re acting like who keeps trying to prove something to some adult. Tell his a** he needs to prove himself as a husband and get on his J-O-B! He needs to be out-earning you income. You shouldn’t be taking care of the finances of the home, and holding him down consistently. He needs to step up and be a damn man! And, until then, you remove yourself from him and the situation, and start dating other guys. Get yourself a make-over with all the money you’ve been doling out on him. Get a new wardrobe, and a new hair-do. It’s time to reclaim your life and power and stop giving it to someone else. It’s all about you, and you’ve to recognize this or he will wear you down and out and leave you. Besides, when he sees you doing your thing, and moving on from him, he will turn his behind around and come back pleading and begging you to take him back. He’ll realize you were a good woman, and that it was him who screwed you over. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!      

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Dear Bossip: He Said I Had To Prove Myself To Him Before We Got Married & It’s Been 5 Years

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Dear Bossip: I Stopped Children’s Services From Taking Her Children, But My Daughter Doesn’t Respect Me

Posted on May 31, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , My daughter is 21-years old and is the apple of my eye. Don’t get me wrong I have two more kids, but I’m close to my youngest one. But, lately we have been fighting over every little thing to the point where I back away from her. Let’s start from how it started. Almost a year ago my daughter met a guy online when she was living with me and before I knew it he was living in my home, and that where the battle starts. My daughter and I have been at each other’s necks to the point where she has told me many times that she is taking my grandkids from me and leaving town. She forgets I’m the one who stopped children’s services from taking both of her babies because she didn’t let anyone know she was pregnant with the first child. She had him by herself in her room. And, the second she just made it to the hospital. It’s gotten to the point that my daughter has moved out and into her own home and welfare has cut her off for six months. So, me and my mom has been paying her bills instead of having her move back home, but I went an extra yard to make sure that she has little things she needs. But, every time I turn around she is snapping my head off for no reason whatsoever, and making me look like the bad guy every time. Then to top it off, every time I jump back at her man steps in with his 2cents. So, when I lay down the law on him he goes running back to my daughter. It’s gotten to the point where we don’t speak for weeks. Now, that I’m finally getting my life out of storage from these last three years, after being there for my daughter and her kids, and trying to find someone in my life, everything between me and my daughter has gone downward so very fast that I didn’t have time to blink or turn my neck. What should I do to fix my relationship with my daughter? – Crying Mother Dear Ms. Crying Mother , Ma’am, uhm, she is grown. She’s 21-years old, and all this babying you’re doing for her needs to stop. I wish I would extend myself to my child and they act ignorant, showing me their ass to kiss, acting ungrateful, and choosing some random man over me, and I’m the one who brought you into this world. What’s that saying, “You talk and act crazy at me, chile, I brought you in this world and I will take you out of it!” And, that’s when I commence to swinging and going upside their head! This heifer got pregnant, and didn’t tell you, or she waited to tell you at the last minute since she had the baby in her room by herself. That right there tells me that your relationship was already a strained one. How the hell you’re going to give birth in my house, in your room, and by yourself, and I don’t know about it? Chile, no ma’am. But, let’s move forward. Why didn’t you know she was pregnant? How could you miss the signs and her big ass stomach? A mother knows when something is going on with her daughter, so therefore, what was going on between you two that you didn’t pick up on something? See, right here, that’s an issue. Whatever has been going on between you and daughter is something that you’ve created. Something that you have not been on top of as your job as a mother. There is no respect, no communication, and no relationship. Perhaps you’ve been babying her, and giving her too much credit, and leniency (You did say that she was the apple of your eye, and when –ish hit the fan you stepped in and continued babying her). Instead of coddling this woman, you should have been ruling with an iron fist, and not giving her too much freedom to do what the hell she wants to do, i.e. meeting a man online and he moves into your house. Girl! Please tell me that….never mind, she did move some random man she met online into your home. That right there! See, you are the problem. You have no parental skills. None whatsoever!  You know how I know, look at your daughter’s life. It’s a hotassmess!! And, if your daughter’s life is a mess, then we know where she got it from – HER MOMMA! I’m also clear that you’ve been treating her more like a friend instead of a daughter. Because all that –ish you’re doing, and how she treats you, speaks to you, and allows her man to disrespect you, uhm, Ms. Get-You-A-Backbone, you need to put your foot down and stop running to her rescue. She’s an adult, so treat her as such. She wants to show out and forget all that you’ve done for her, then cut her narrow ass off. Stop giving her money, paying her bills, and letting her run back and forth to you when she needs something. Cut that –ish off today! She’s an adult, and she has a man living with her, so they will figure out how to get money, food, clothes, and pay the bills. It’s time for her to grow the hell up, and time for you to stop treating her like she’s a damn baby. SHE IS GROWN! Give her a grown ass lesson. And, you let her know that moving forward she is going to have to learn how to respect you as a mother. You’re not her friend. You’re not her banker. You’re not an ATM. I understand that you don’t want your grandchildren to be without, so, put some limitations on things. Keep the pampers, milk, baby clothes, and other necessities for the babies at your house. So, when they come over they will be taken care of, but you can’t take care of your house, and hers. SHE NEEDS TO GET A DAMN JOB! That’s why welfare cut her ass off. And, I’ll be damned if my tax dollars keep funding trifling mofo’s like this. It’s time you start living your life, and enjoying it. Don’t let them kids run you ragged, and keep you hemmed up in the house taking care of them. Honey, you’ve done your job, now it’s time for you to live your life, and live it to the fullest! – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!    

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Dear Bossip: I Stopped Children’s Services From Taking Her Children, But My Daughter Doesn’t Respect Me

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