As you might have heard, Charlie Sheen has released a statement about his recent drug-and-porn binge and the subsequent rehab that has shut down production on the megahit Two and a Half Men . While it’s pretty obvious to anyone observing the situation that Sheen is anything but sorry, the actor did make a vague attempt to explain his plan to correct the situation. Actually, no — this might be the most cryptic press release in the history of press releases. As a service, Movieline has translated and annotated Sheen’s official statement where possible:

Original post:
What is Charlie Sheen Really Trying to Say in His Press Release?
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Tagged Actors, history, Hollywood, movieline, Movies, New Movie, newswire, portlandia, subsequent, the last word, the-megahit, the-real-world, the-subsequent, two-and-a-half men, watch-the-peculiar