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Exclusive – Exxxotica 2013 Fort Lauderdale Round Up of the Day

I went to two days of Exxotica , a 3 dayporn convention where pornstars and cam girls meet the fans and charge them money for autographs and conversation. Some of the girls hook on the side to supplement their income since porn isn’t as lucrative as it used to be. There was way more to my trip than my Farrah Coverage … I learned…. 1- Cam girls are the future of porn stars, they make more money, have more loyal fans, are less broken and trashy and do it all from the comfort of their home. They fuck if they want and they stay clothed if they want. It is a pretty good deal and I am now trying to recruit as many girls as I can for MYFREECAMS 2- Cam girls are like the annoying person at dinner addicted to their cell phone or internet connection, obsessed with their fans, always looking at a screen, but far less annoying, because they like being watched when they masturbate, and they are nicer to talk to than porn chicks who have egos, cuz cam girls are just everyday girls who figured out it’s better to get paid to masturbate than work at the mall. 3- Porn stars can be pretty rugged, beat up, and bratty cunts who think they are important cuz they fuck on camera for 1000 dollars a scene. They can be annoying to listen to talk because they are stupid as shit, but for the most part, even the horrible ones you know are insane, are great entertainment and that’s why we were there. I got there pretty much when it started because I had nothing better to do and Exxxotica was the only reason we were in Fort Lauderdale so why the fuck not. In the first 5 minutes there was a stripper behind chains, a fat ass, a Hugh Hefner lookalike every idiot in the place though was Hugh Hefner even though Hefner is dead…but not as dead as the girl who passed the fuck out. Click More To See my Coverage – WIth Pics and VINES – It’s a huge post – Get Started. All Old White People Look The Same… Lexi Belle and Teagan Pressly got their on time, because pictures had to be signed for 20 dollars a piece…that shit pays for a lot of Spray Tans… One Slutty girl and a bunch of dudes attended a seminar on breaking into the biz…I guess being uneducated and broken wasn’t one of the requirements. But I’ll bet more actual pornstars got into it cuz they are broken and not cuz they attended a seminar…. This Hitachi Magic Wand Salesman and his nurse who was pretty friendly and talking to everyone… To give random girls orgasms..for 2 days straight. I made love to some busy girls busty tits with my mind as she jiggled them for me…in the background is one of Tiger Woods’ hooker, but when next to tits like this, she doesn’t exist… This weekend – I became a huge Evan Stone fan, from his comedy to his dance routines – he’s more than just an aging pornstar holding on…he’s a living legend who still lures in the broken 18 year olds to fuck. He didn’t just dance once… He danced twice…. I learned that not all fetishes are created equally…. There were swingers… Masturbators who didn’t want my help… Fat girls lick ANYTHING when they are hungry And a whole lot of fans you’d expect to see there A pornstar was looking for male talent with the trusty post-it or lined legal paper…to match her 90 year old out of touch face Dudes who posed with thonged asses Dudes with hair they got in the 80s trailer park. Daisy Destin – Who I found Out Has Done Max Hardcore Porn…..even though she’s a cam model…what can’t this country girl do… Girls in Fishnet Who Should be in Whale net Old Menopausal Ladies getting erotic massages – That’s Someone’s grandmother people… Geat fashionable crowd. I felt like I was in Milan at Fashion week or some shit… Kristina Rose….a great 90s Dancing Indian…. An Angel Sent from heaven who walked in and out of my life…just like that… Utltimately, I came to Exxxotica for the birds. Was glad to meet all those I met….I would have stuck my tongue in more of them…but don’t need to be Michael Douglas-ed. Remember – IF I Don’t Cum…It Don’t Count and I will come…to the next Exxxotica or at leaf the one in New Jersey… Shout outs to my new best friends Raven Rockette , Sasha Pain , Savanna Steele and and Daisy Destin

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Exclusive – Exxxotica 2013 Fort Lauderdale Round Up of the Day

Behati Prinsloo Modeling for Free People of the Day

These pics of Behati Prinsloo modelling for Free People, may be boring as fuck, but I like Victoria’s Secret models when they are modelling anything but Victoria’s Secret, because Victoria’s Secret shit is so predictable, so repetitive, so photoshopped vagina lip and nipple, not that Free People is anything better, but just a different vibe to really show us how diverse a model this Behati is, while doing the exact same thing she does for every one of her clients, only this time in less lingerie…when really she should be following her NIPPLES IN THIS SHOOT’S LEAD cuz nipples are better than no nipples, right Angelina Jolie? But the problem with Behati, has nothing to do with her not showing off her nipples, but everything to do with her having had unprotected sex with Adam Levine, even if they are broken up, it means she was starstruck by him, groupied on him, and let him cum inside her with all his money and gelled hair, and a girl into that, is one who should be taken out back and shot for being just like every other girl, impressed by pop shit. The worst. Here’s the video…anyway…

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Behati Prinsloo Modeling for Free People of the Day

Olga Rodionova for XXL Russia Tits of the Day

Olga Rodionova has some Russian tits! Old Russian Tits. She’s pushing 40. She’s a model who has seen better days and has done all kinds of shit, from Playboy to Vogue. She’s an actor who has been in such hits as “Trasure Raiders” and “Elevator”…and she owns a PR company. She has since been knocked up by some Russian Billionaire, obviously, that’s what the hot ones do in Russia when they aren’t abducted by, eaten up by, seduced by the human trafficking sex trade by threats of their family being killed off. Most importantly, she still models her titties because by the looks of them, they aren’t nearly as old as her…. What it comes down to is what can’t this girl do…typical product of communism…winning GOLDS in all she does.

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Olga Rodionova for XXL Russia Tits of the Day

Karlie Kloss’s Intense Bathing Suit for Vogue Turkey of the Day

Karlie Kloss is 6 foot 2….and I would not mind inspecting every inch of her with my flaccid penis…just smearing it all over her hoping it triggers some sensation in an otherwise dead organ. Thanks high blood pressure, diabetes, drinking, and living the good life…and if that doesn’t work, I can always recruit her for the DrunkenStepfather Charity Beach Volleyball league, training involves getting my 5 foot 6 ass shit off the high shelf in the kitchen and changing lightbulbs for me without a ladder while I talk dirty…”Oh yeah girl, screw that in, you like reaching don’t you, you like that you can dunk a basketball on regulation net like Miami Heat, while wearing heels, you genetically modified food eating monster….”…cuz in case you haven’t left the house in years, girls are tall as fuck now, with legs that excite me.

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Karlie Kloss’s Intense Bathing Suit for Vogue Turkey of the Day

Kelly Brook Nipple Does GQ Turkey of the Day

I guess it is appropriate that Kelly Brook would be in something from Turkey, since she’s been getting stuffed like a Turkey as often as she can if it meant climbing up that ladder of success. I mean her career is based on a set of tits, there’s really only one way to get rich and famous from tits, especially considering most women, at least who aren’t Angelina Jolie have tits…steep competition…and sure her tits are great, but are they any better than other curvy girls with fat asses out there. The defining thing about her…is her ability to fuck the right people well enough that they are willing to get her jobs… Not that it matters, here are the pics from the magazine looking as good as a meaty girl can…making me hungry and shit….

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Kelly Brook Nipple Does GQ Turkey of the Day

Behati Prinsloo for JCrew Swimwear of the Day

OMG!! Call the fucking police – Behati Prinsloo is cheating on Victoria’s Secret with J Crew…in some kind of underground model trading underworld I will never understand because the only models I know are airplanes…that I build….while trying to pass the lonely days as I wait for death…unless you count crackhead meth addicts who fuck you for 10 dollars as models, which luckily I do…. Either way, these are as exciting as nonsense bikini pictures go….which is real fucking exciting if you’re easily excited and don’t need throat fucking porn to be entertained…

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Behati Prinsloo for JCrew Swimwear of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio for Vogue Brasil of the Day

In case you were wondering, Alessandra Ambrosio, unlike the girl I saw at the Airport in a Wheelchair….has LEGS…. Legs that I would love to wear as a scarf, you know so that mom pussy acts as a gas mask for me to try to breathe into…even if it is so far dead and a lost cause…I am willing to try…I have hope…because unlike other mom pussy this one’s ass has bounced back from the pregnancy…and that is good enough.

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Alessandra Ambrosio for Vogue Brasil of the Day

Miley Cyrus Another Hot Pic to Promote Her Album of the Day

The pics from this MILEY CYRUS PHOTOSHOOT that she is using to promote her new album won’t die…and that, unlike a Kardashian that won’t die, is a good thing…because any excuse to get Miley showing off you young, tight, fit body to really let us all know that she’s not a Disney Tween anymore, she’s a grown woman dammit, she just doesn’t know how to spell Grown, because she has people who do that for her, she’s rich and school is for people who want to be rich, not who already are rich…. Not that that has anything to do with her pulling down her one piece in ways that would be criminal if she was actually the age she looks…. I’m a fan….she’s awesome. I just wish it was a higher resolution pic of her TITS which is as expected a fake

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Miley Cyrus Another Hot Pic to Promote Her Album of the Day

Gisele Bundchen for Vogue Brasil of the Day

I’ve posted some of the pics from this shoot with Gisele…here are the rest…and she’s looking’ greasier than Tom Brady’s ass after a good old fashioned quarterback gang bang after he won the Superbowl….only probably less gay to stare at for the last 10-16 minutes…but I wouldn’t know because the Tom Brady anus video hasn’t been uploaded to the internet yet…

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Gisele Bundchen for Vogue Brasil of the Day

Irina Shayk Topless Shoot of the Day

This is pretty exciting stuff…model and beard to some pro soccer player who is a huge deal in Europe is modelling with her tits exposed….her name is Irina Shayk, you’ve heard of her, and you’ll probably appreciate this throwback to when she first started modelling, on mail order bride sites before she won the lottery and was purchased by a pro athlete to keep him seemingly hetero…. I don’t know what this is for, or even if I’ve posted it before, I’m just glad it happened , unlike my mom when I was born.

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Irina Shayk Topless Shoot of the Day