This is an awesom video of model Cara Delevingne, who is making a lot of noise as the next big thing in modeling, for those of you who live in a fucking trailer park and masturbate all day, thanks to food stamps subsidizing your life….and I’m a total fucking fan…especially when shot in video for a trendy fashion magazine like i-D…doing a striptease…making sex faces…looking like a ravaged, battered, drugged up hooker…the way I like em… She’s good….
Daniella Monet is the supporting actress on the Nickelodeon hit Victorious….If you’re not a total fucking pervert who watches Nickelodeon, or a father of tween girls who is forced to watch Victorious, you probably don’t know who she is and you have probably not masturbated to her because anything is better than having sex with your wife…. Well, she’s 24, she’s a vegan, she’s got a very G-Rated career, but like Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez….that shit’s starting to turn south, in a good way….cuz selfies in workout cloths, like sports bras are the gateway to nudes, and nudes are the gateway to more “adult roles”….and more adult roles means threesomes in Spring Breakers….so let’s all encourage her to get to where she needs to be….fuck Nickelodeon, get naked, you big faced angel.
I didn’t know that Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens were friends, but here they are drinking out of red plastic cups together like a couple of frat boys. Only, unlike frat boys, they probably own the Porsche they’re getting into, instead of borrowing it from one of their parents. Anyway, it’s a nice car, but I’m much more interested in the nice boobs on Ashley. I always get so distracted by her booty I forget about them. So I think it’s about time I show them the proper appreciation with a quick motorboat. Stop by whenever. Related Articles: Ashley Tisdale’s Ass In A Bikini Ashley Tisdale Bikini Pictures Ashley Tisdale Roller Bikini Girl Ashley Tisdale’s Boots Weren’t Made For … Photos: Fameflynet
Shiri Appleby, who is currently pregnant, is really putting a lot of effort into getting noticed in the celebrity world. She had a taste of fame in the 90s, or whenever that show Roswell was on, and she’s coming back for more. This time, doing it the right way, which is also the bottom feeding, attention seeking, hooker way, that is actually pretty easy to pull off. Here are the 10 steps to getting famous when already in LA, and already semi established because you’ve had a recurring role on a TV show at one point or another in your career, even if it was a fucking decade ago. Step 1 – Hire the paparazzi to take pics of you in your bikini on the beach even if you are pregnant . Pregnancy is counter productive to this whole step by step thing, but if rich sperm comes around, take it, and smear it on your cervix as best as you can. It is a better retirement plan than love level celebrity. Step 2 – Leak a nude pic , pretend it isn’t you like you were that fat girl Kat Deeley, or Vanessa Hudgens or the countless other girls who were in movies, but in backseat roles who needed to step up for themselves and scream “Look at me I’m Here” Step 3- Get cast on a really popular show, even if you don’t get paid. Especially if that show has a nude monster of a woman in it, I am talking a real ditch pig who shouldn’t even be naked when she’s alone and showering, let alone nude on TV. Even the most desperate of people wouldn’t be eager to fuck her, or fantasize about her on TV. But she wrote the show so the producers (Judd Appatow) give her the chance to feed that ego like she was Gaga. You know, always the ugly one, finally making a stand while the hot girls she envied are busy being hot. While she’s finally sexualized herself like she was hot, because ultimately, it is her fucking show. More importantly, Girls and Lesbians relate to ugly girls more than they do to hot girls, because girls are all insecure. Step 4 – Get naked on that really popular show, a show that empowers women, even if you don’t get paid, because anything is better than the ditch pig who normally gets naked in the show, making you, even if you’re the hottest, you’re fucking hotter than that thing Lena Dunham. (I watched the clip until the point where she said “I can love your dick and not be a whore” and realized this shit is not for me. It is written by girls and represents everything I hate. Low quality, obvious commentary, fake edgy, fuck yourself Lena Dunham for producing this empowering crap, that is just crap.) Step 5 – Repeat until people who aren’t the virgin losers who love you, never forget you, because Roswell was their life, notice. Shiri Appleby got this formula down. Let’s see what happens.
Well the day is finally here, sort of, because Spring Breakers (2013) is opening in limited release. It’s set to open much wider on March 22nd, but for now only New York and LA will be able to see Selena Gomez bouncing around in a bikini and a half-naked Vanessa Hudgens making out with Ashley Benson in a pool. If you’re not interested in drug-fueled Disney star threesomes, you’re pretty much out of luck, because the wide release The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013) has Olivia Wilde , but no nudity to make your wand levitate. More after the jump!
Nude in theaters, former child stars Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson go T&A wild during a threesome in Spring Breakers. Nude on Blu-ray, Selma Blair goes Selma bare for In Their Skin , and HBO’s Girls brings us Shiri Appleby’s nude debut .
Harmony Korine is passionate about making films his way. “I just want to be the greatest of all time — the greatest that ever did it,” said Spring Breakers director, who described his latest work as “beach noir.” I sat down with Korine at Movieline’s New York office for an in-depth discussion about Spring Breakers in-depth. Korine talked about how society is still shocked by violent female criminals, his liberal use of nudity in the movie, and the way he likes to work with his actors. “Once (they’re) in character, and understand the story and the world, it all becomes perfect,” he said. “There’s nothing they can do wrong.” Spring Breakers features current Disney star James Franco and former Disney stars Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez in a story about a trip to Florida that takes a dark turn. The film has striking visuals and I asked Korine if that quality is what makes his films so high-concept. “Yeah, I think they’re completely high-concept. I think they’re also like the lowest concept,” he said. “It’s like where retardation and transcendence intersect.” Check out my full interview below: Follow Grace Randolph on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
A THG favorite celebrates a milestone birthday today. Yes, folks, former American Idol winner and current win-pretty-much-every-awards-on-the-planet superstar Carrie Underwood is now 30 years old! The gorgeous singer is as talented and respected as anyone in the business, despite a recently rumored feud with Taylor Swift . She’s married to a hockey player, she blows us away with every live performance and she isn’t going anywhere for a very long time. Thank goodness! In the star’s honor, click through the following montage of Carrie Underwood photos now:
In a shocking and completely unprecedented turn of events, Daylight Saving Time took America by storm Sunday, prompting millions to ask “What Time Is It?” Seriously. The trending topics on Google at the moment include “Daylight Savings Time,” “What Time is It?” and “Local Time.” It’s chaos out there. Early this morning, for the first time since March 2012, U.S. residents (Arizona excluded, lucky jerks) were required to move their clocks forward. By one hour. Jaw-dropping stuff, we know. With that in mind, THG has provided a helpful Daylight Saving Time 2013 visual aid to assist you and keep you on an even keel amid the pandemonium:
Forget the body count in Machete Kills . Sofia Vergara is at the forefront of a new poster for this upcoming thriller… and the Modern Family star is making her body count! The actress will portray Lady Desdemona in the Robert Rodriguez-direced drama, which opens on September 13 and is a sequel to the 2010 hit. The film will also star Danny Trejo, Vanessa Hudgens, Mel Gibson and even Lady Gaga . But Vergara is dominating the early press. For two very good, large reasons.
