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In October of this year, Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett finally divorced . It’s really, truly over. Now, some of the realities of that are just sinking in — as Kendra experienced her first Christmas as a divorced mother. In a heartfelt message to fans, she reveals the real emotional pitfalls of sharing your kids on a major holiday. “This early morning we woke up, opened up presents, and rode around on our new bikes for an hour,” Kendra’s Instagram post begins. “I never thought I’d ever hear the words “this is more fun than Fortnite” but I did,” she writes, adding: “LOL.” Fortnite is a battle royale style game, made by Epic Games, that is extremely popular with younger kids. Though it’s great to see children enjoying themselves and engaging with peers, Kendra probably appreciated hearing the white lie that bike-riding is more fun. “I gotta be real though…” Kendra says. “After this bike ride,” she reveals. “I had to give my babies up.” Kendra refers to sending her kids to their dad’s house now that she and Hank are divorced. “This is the first year I’m literally alone..” Kendra laments. At least, she reveals, she was alone “’til @iamjessicahall just invited me over.” “I just want to say how beautiful your pictures are with your families on Christmas,” Kendra writes on Instagram. Kendra is known for a lot of social media engagement with her fans. Kendra affirms: “I feel warm and happy for all of you who are lucky to have what you do.” “My day is going in waves,” Kendra explains. “Being my first year separated.” Of course! “I have music/movies on, enjoying myself and then [it] hits me,” she reveals. That is very normal for anyone grappling with a new reality. But Kendra says that she is “doing a lot better than I predicted.” Having sudden moments of sadness is a lot better than being a weepy mess like you’re on a commercial for a mood stabilizer. “And,” Kendra says. “Friends reaching out makes me smile.” Sometimes, you want to be alone to process your emotions and to just experience your life. Other times, you welcome a distraction and emotional support from loved ones. Kendra needs that right now. “But,” she admits, it is “hard adjusting to new after years of what I believed was perfection.” Absolutely. From death to divorce, the first “different” holiday can really drive home how much your life has been transformed. “Definitely not looking for sympathy,” Kendra clarifies. “Just telling my story.” Just because other people have it worse doesn’t mean that Kendra doesn’t deserve sympathy, folks. “Sure divorced peeps can relate lol,” she suggests. She is totally right. “Anyways,” Kendra concludes. “Off to @iamjessicahall house.” Good for her for doing her best to enjoy the holiday. Some divorced parents are, quite frankly, not as lucky as Kendra. Sometimes a mom who has primary custody doesn’t see her children for weeks around Christmas or other key holidays. This of course leaves one parent as the parent who reminds children to do their homework, while another is the “fun” parent they see on holidays. It’s great to see that she and Hank were able to work it out so that they could both see their kids, even on big days like Christmas. Dividing time may not be fun, but it certainly beats the alternative. We imagine that little Hank and Alijah didn’t mind it. Though it’s not always true when there’s a divorce, some kids really do get twice the presents — or close enough — when their parents split. it’s always good to look for a silver lining. View Slideshow: Kendra Wilkinson Bawls Over Divorce, Cries Out: I’m Not Perfect, Okay?!?

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Kendra Wilkinson: Divorce Means I’m All Alone on Christmas. MEH!