Dear Bossip , Where do I start, I finally got the man I love to commit to a relationship. He gave me the code to the alarm and the keys to the door, so I have the ability to come and go as I please. Let me add, the man is 53-years old, retired military, and confesses to sleeping with well over 1,000 women (scary). But, the problem is the man is committed to social networks, seems he can’t get enough of contacting women on these sites. Before we started dating he had a friend whom he befriended on the web and they made arrangements for her to come to town. I understand that arrangements have been made, tickets have been bought, is it unreasonable for me to think this needs to be cancelled? According to her profile she is blatantly looking for love, she wants a man. Do you think it’s ok for this rendezvous to take place? Now when I question him, he says I am welcome to come along, I know that’s another ploy to throw me off. Deep down, I don’t trust the man. Some way to start a relationship. In addition, I also have the pin number to his debit card. (I know, you’re saying, wow) This man has so many web friends I don’t know what to do or think. He said that if I want him to cancel his account he would, but I don’t want him to cancel his account to make me happy. I want him to cancel or refrain from going to those sites because he has met the woman for him. This is where you come in. Do you think I can make a lasting relationship out of this? Now the other day I left his home to go ride my bike, and when I returned he had something propped against the bedroom door where the computer is located so I couldn’t just come right in. Does he have something to hide? So, he gives me the code and the keys to throw me off the scent. I’m not confused I just need reassurance. Please help; don’t worry, I’ve toughened my skin, so I won’t bleed. – Not Confused Just Need Reassurance Dear Ms. Not Confused Just Need Reassurance , I can’t. I won’t. I refuse. I sent a short yellow bus to your home. Please put on your pink helmet and get your small roller backpack. I’m taking you on a little trip. It’s so sad that you douse yourself in that desperation perfume to cover up your low self-esteem, and low self-worth. SMDH! Now, you clearly are not that bright, and definitely desperate for a man. You’re so desperate that you will jeopardize your health, life, and own sanity to have some man lay on top of you and do his business despite him confessing he has slept with over 1,000 women. You’re so desperate that you will knowingly commit to a man whom you know is addicted to dating/social networking sites and meeting women. You also have the damn nerve to ask me if I think it’s okay for him to have a rendezvous with a woman he met on the internet, and she is coming to town to visit him, but her ulterior motive is love and finding a man. You are a damn fool! Please reach around and smack your own damn self in the face. First off, a man who confesses to sleeping with over 1,000 women is not scary. That is dangerous! Who wants to be with someone with that many bodies, and lawd knows how many infectious diseases he’s probably encountered. By the way, have you two gone to the health clinic and gotten complete physical and STD exams? (* * ) (Giving you the side eye) But, let me ask you this, do you think he would be with you, or any man would be with you if you confessed and said that you’ve slept with over 1,000 men? If you know that no man would want to be committed to you because he wouldn’t see you as someone as respectable, lady-like, and basically a hoe, then why would you want to be committed to a man who has slept with over 1,000 women? He’s not respectable, or a man, and basically he is a hoe. Secondly, you say that he has a lot of web friends, and that he has said he will cancel his account if you want him to, but you don’t want him to cancel them to make you happy. And, you want him to refrain from going to those sites because he has met the woman for him. Hmmm, do you honestly think that you are the woman for him? I’ll wait while you ponder that. Some of you women are truly retards with slow a** brains, and I see why men prey on women like you. No self-esteem. No self-love. No self-worth. You think just because he gave you the keys and security code to his home, and his pin number to his debit card that you have some sense of security. Do you have the pin number to his main account, or is it one of his accounts? Trust me, it’s not his main account. And, no, chicken head, and I didn’t say, “Wow!” I said, “She’s the perfect trick! He gives every woman he’s been with the same information.” And, all you birds fall for the same the game. IT’S GAME! GAME! GAME! He does the same thing with every woman he comes across. But, those women, and eventually you, one day, will wake up and know he is not going to change. You will realize that he is not going to stop going to those websites, and everything coming out of his mouth is nothing but bull-ish and games. You know what, sweetie, how about asking him for his screen names and passwords to all his social/dating websites? Bet he won’t give that to you! Ask him how many bank accounts he has, and which one do you have the debit card pin number to? You say you’re not confused and need reassurance. Uhm, well, I hate to break it to you, but you are confused, dumb, slow, and just another notch on this man’s bedpost. So, count yourself included in the over 1,000 women he’s bedded. SMDH! Go and get yourself checked out after laying with this man. Don’t you know that there is a sharing of spirits when you lay and receive a man into your womb? Don’t you know that every woman he’s been with he is carrying their spirit, and dumps his seed and their spirits in you when he releases? Yeah, over 1,000 women. How does that feel? I’m curious to know that since he’s 53-years old, retired military, then how many times has he been married? How many children does he have? Have you met any of his family members, personal friends, or anyone important in his life? And, if this man hasn’t settled down by now, and he’s 53-years old, and is addicted to dating/social websites, girl, he is not about to stop now. You have the all the information you need, so what do you want me to reassure you about? That he will continue to sleep with and meet women over the web? That he will cheat, lie, manipulate, and deceive you, and you’ll fall for each of his lies, deceptions, and manipulative ways trying to convince yourself that you can change him? You actually think and feel he’s met the woman for him, and that he is going to turn his life around? LMBAO!!!! Okay, sit over there and reassure your own damn self. Why do you think something was propped up against the door where the computer is located when you came home? I can’t with you, and I’m done. I hope you’ll truly open your eyes, take all the information you have, and say, “Self, why am I remaining in this situation with someone who clearly does not feel I’m the one. He is not going to stop visiting those websites and making friends. He is not going to stop having sex with various and random women. Why am I fooling myself? Am I really that naïve and desperate?” – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! Continue reading →
